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Sherlock Holmes is missing! Watson thinks he might have relapsed because there's a heroin overdose at one point. This results in Jonny Lee Miller musing on the smell of cooked heroin and it all seems somehow... familiar. Especially the part about the squalid apartments.
But to find out what happened to him, we have to go back two days. Holmes and Watson were called in to investigate a missing Chief Operating Officer, who turns out to have overdosed on heroin in a secret (amazingly big) apartment where he used to entertain high-priced prostitutes. Holmes deduces that the COO was actually poisoned by heroin in the salad. And not only that, here are some other people from this company who were also murdered!
Watson goes off on a date with a boring guy who exists only to demonstrate that she can tell when people are lying. This new ability doesn't stop her from going out with him a second time after she's learned he's married. Holmes texts her a few times so that we can see that he uses obnoxious text-speak abbreviations. He says it's faster, but I don't think he's counting the time he has to spend explaining everything.
Holmes eventually realizes that the true killer is not the obvious guy (who got promoted every time his boss died mysteriously) but really his secretary. But he keeps gloating at her in the parking garage, so she hits him with a stun gun and handcuffs him in the back seat. She drives him out to a remote farm but makes the mistake of responding to a text from Watson with correct grammar. So the police catch her and Holmes is safe. Hooray!
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Watson stops by the police station to talk to Gregson. They don't have a lot of non-Holmes time together. What, just because a guy's name is in the title of the show, he has to be in every scene? She's here because she hasn't heard from Holmes in over three hours. Gregson doesn't care, because Holmes is "weird," which apparently explains anything. She says he lives at his place, and Gregson assumes that means they're an item. She beats around the book forever and eventually realizes she can't tell Gregson that Holmes is an addict. And then she does! Has everyone but me heard of this "sober companion" stuff? Because Gregson just accepts it as a thing.
Somewhere else, Holmes regains consciousness. His hands are cuffed and his feet are zip-tied. Looks like he woke up in the middle of an interesting evening!
Caption: TWO DAYS EARLIER. I'm pretty sick of this gimmick. Find a new way to put something interesting at the beginning of the show.
Well, anyway, two days earlier, Watson tells a friend at a sidewalk coffee shop that she's got a job, but not a boyfriend. The friend calls over "Aaron from work" and then rushes off. Watson calls it an "ambush setup". Aaron's coffee is ready, and while he's away, Watson's phone pings with a text from Holmes: "YT ND U ASAP?" Aaron sees it and mocks the textspeak. The one contains the phrase "IMLTHO."
Brownstone. Holmes claims to like text shorthand because it's faster. Although he has to spend time clarifying that "IMLTHO" means "In my less than humble opinion," so how much time has he really saved? He recognizes that she met a man because she put her hair up, although Holmes thinks she's equally pretty either way. He needed Watson to come home because he's been summoned to a mysterious meeting that he doesn't know how long it will take. Because he can't be away from her for more than two hours. It's time to go meet some bankers, although Watson thinks Holmes is dressed in too ratty a fashion.
A board room. Their COO is Peter Talbot. This quarter's conference call was rescheduled yesterday because Talbot was missing. Holmes is flamboyantly insulting about how he doesn't care about them losing money. Their spokesperson conveniently mentions that the police can't get involved until it's been two days. Holmes says it will cost them his usual rates... times twelve. Then he demonstrates his powers by saying two of them are sleeping together and this guy over here recently used solvent to remove fingernail polish. Holmes and Watson go to look at Talbot's computer.
Talbot's office. The secretary points to a picture and says that Peter and Alyssa were called Taylor and Burton "after the movie stars." Holmes complains that he could have gotten twenty times his rate, although Watson points out that he doesn't really have a standard rate. Holmes spots one book that's been read (among the other fancifully-bound volumes that have never been opened). It has another book inside it! It's an escort menu book, but not a very clear one. The expensive ladies were marked first.
Holmes pokes around in the computer on the theory that anyone spending a lot of money on high-priced prostitutes has to have a way to hide his money. There are two separate accountants in the contacts. Martin Rydell is the private, shady one. Holmes demands that the secretary (whose name is Donna) get he and Watson an appointment at Villa Pakri.
At the restaurant, Holmes claims he's redistributing the bankers' money with his profilgate spending. Holmes orders the most expensive bottle of wine and sends it over to a man that, he's deduced, has saved up for this dinner and is about to propose. Mr. Rydell arrives. Holmes wants to talk about Peter Talbot's predilection for expensive hookers. He threatens to call the Post about the matter. Rydell admits to setting up shell corporations and slush funds. Holmes asks where Talbot might be. The answer is "an apartment in Tribeca under the name The Dummy Corp."
Holmes tells Watson that Aaron texted her for a date, and Holmes accepted on her behalf. This outrages her, because she still hasn't accepted the idea that Holmes will be messing with her at all times. They get to the Tribeca apartment and Holmes claims to be the police with a warrant. The apartment is very big and impressive. So big that even Watson thinks it's big for a place on the side. Talbot is dead in a chair, having apparently died in the middle of shooting up. It looks very staged.
Now the police are there. Watson talks to Holmes about heroin, which is one of the things that landed him in rehab. Holmes tells her he's working on a case and does not want to work on his feelings at the moment. He says Talbot was murdered, because there are no track marks. And it's a pristine apartment. And the food is perfectly arranged in the amazing refrigerator. Normally heroin addicts are in squalid apartments because they're trying to escape. Bell, who appears to have forgotten that Holmes is always right, sarcastically asks how the shot was administered. Holmes says Talbot would have to be unconscious, and there couldn't be another drug in his system. The only thing that's around is a half-eaten salad, so Holmes hypothesizes heroin-laced salad. He says it'll be easy to test for and Bell doesn't want to even bother. Gregson tells Holmes he's only allowed to watch the wife get told about her husband and he absolutely cannot interfere.
The wife is shocked that he was using heroin, although she's less shocked about the prostitutes. I mean, she thought he was done with that, but she knew it was a possibility. Watson bothers Holmes about his feelings about seeing a heroin overdose. Holmes meddles in the interview and wants to know where the wife was when the husband died two nights ago. Bell the Dummy tries to overrule Holmes, but Mrs. Talbot volunteers that she was at a silent auction for Habitat for Humanity. She says that Peter had been overwhelmed since becoming COO. The one also died suddenly last October when a restaurant gave him peanuts. Holmes finds this relevant! Bell does not: "Peanut allergies? Seriously?"
Brownstone. Holmes speaks Mandarin on the phone. Watson asks how well he speaks it. Holmes: "Not as well as I'd like. You?" Watson: "Not as well as my mother would like." I'd like it if they started talking to each other in Mandarin as a secret code in front of other people. Holmes reports that the COO was Gary Norris, who was fanatical about avoiding peanuts. I'm pretty fanatical about avoiding things that could kill me, too. Holmes talked to the chef on the phone, and the chef swears there were no peanuts in the dish he served. He feels that someone added peanut oil after it left the kitchen. Holmes is practicing disassembling and reassembling a lock, but it's not going very well and he gets very tense. Watson gets him to talk about how he'd forgotten what cooked heroin smells like. Holmes: "It brings back memories." He wants Watson to go to her date so he can get privacy. "Go. If it makes you happy, I'll take a spit test when you get back." She leaves.
Aaron and Watson walk on the sidewalk after their date. They apparently went to a place that served foam but still had fun. Aaron says his dates lately have talked about their ex-husbands. He himself has never been married. He leans in for a kiss, but he gets a handshake at the taxi.
Watson gets home. There's a big wall of recent deaths that took place at the banking company. Holmes admits that some could be random, but there might be a pattern in there. Watson says that she suspects Aaron wasn't telling the truth when he said he wasn't married. Holmes wants to go online to see if she was right. His name is "Aaron Ward" and "Maritalrecords.com" says that he's currently married. Holmes congratulates Watson on not becoming "an unwitting adultress". He gets a text saying there was, in fact, heroin in the salad. He plans to go back to the company and make them pay him to locate the murderer.
Holmes gives the company a presentation about several mysterious deaths, dating back several years and covering several states. He suggests that there's a sociopath, killing to get ahead. Holmes demands access to "their files" to locate someone who worked in each city in each year of the murders. One guy (Jim Fowkes) says that he was the only person with that career path was himself. Holmes: "Well, this is awkward, but I'd say that you were a damn good suspect."
Brownstone. Fowkes brings Holmes his check. Holmes offers eggs. The suspect: "I came here to end this." Holmes: "That should be simple enough. Confess!" He denies killing anyone. But he was inches away from COO and now the gossip will keep him from being promoted. So he's going to have to prove his innocence. One of the dead people left for a vacation August 7, 2003 and was supposed to come back August 9. And Fowkes gives a folder to Holmes showing that he had elective surgery August 6, 2003. He got rhinoplasty then, so he couldn't have done it. He suggests John Cho, who didn't work there for the first murder but matches up with the other dates.
Holmes bounces a basketball loudly while staring at John Cho's file. He was there at the first murder, but he didn't work at the company yet. He didn't benefit nearly as much as Jim Fowkes. Watson says that Fowkes definitely didn't do the first one. Holmes encourages Watson to go on another date with the married guy if she's so bugged by him bouncing a basketball. BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE. Watson leaves.
As he peruses the files, Holmes notes that Jim Fowkes's emergency contact was a Donna Kaplan.
Aaron and Watson. He asks how she found out he was married, and she deflects. He says he lied to her, but "it's not what you think." See, he volunteers for a place that helps people seeking political asylum. She would have been killed if she returned home, according to Aaron. She lives in Hoboken and he checks on her sometimes. They can get a divorce in a year. House did this entire plot, you know. Watson says that helping her was a really compassionate thing to do. He asks again how she found out.
The secretary from earlier is waiting at an elevator. Holmes approaches her and calls her "Donna." She's Donna! Holmes says that she's been with Mr. Fowkes a long time. He probably owes his meteoric rise to her. She offers to call security and Holmes dares her to. He follows her into the parking garage and digs at her. "Did you boss know or were you working alone?" She says she's seen his type a lot: "My boss uses five thousand dollar suits to get attention. You use a scarf and a dirty T-shirt." Then she pulls out a taser and tases him. Holmes falls to the ground.
Holmes wakes up and compliments Donna on being interesting. He's in the situation we saw at the beginning of the episode: in the back seat, hands cuffed behind his back, and ankles zip-tied together. While he talks to Donna, he rummages through the pocket in the car door and finds a bulldog clip. Donna says he clearly didn't call anyone and that the police will find his body buried on the property. She'll frame Fowkes. Holmes says Cho will get that promotion and need an experienced secretary. Holmes gets a text from Watson, but his phone is up in the front seat to Donna. Donna gets the phone and starts to type out a response.
.Police office and that opening scene. Watson thinks Holmes relapsed because of that heroin. While talking to Gregson, she gets a text: "Everything's fine. Phone was off, my mistake. Heading back, see you soon." She slowly remembers the conversation they had earlier about how Holmes likes to use textspeak.
Holmes and Donna are on the grounds of a large estate at night. Holmes asks, "You actually expect me to dig my own grave?" Donna: "Have you ever been gut shot?" Holmes: "No. I imagine it makes it difficult to do manual labor." Holmes absolutely refuses to do any digging. Why get all sore and tired when you're just going to get shot, right? Donna says she'll do it herself, since it doesn't have to be deep. Holmes encourages her to share what started her killing. She has a gun to his head but starts talking. And then! The police are there, and that distracts her long enough for him to pick his lock. He disarms her. Holmes: "Did you know I pick locks? Pockets, too." Taser! She falls.
Now it's morning. He declines any painkilling drugs from the ambulance. Watson arrives and confirms that she did, in fact, recognize that the text wasn't in Holmes's writing. And then the police located the phone easily, because unlike The Event, this is a show that knows something about cell phones. Holmes smugly lists the steps that led Watson to this place until she snaps, "I'm sorry, are you trying to take credit for the fact that I saved your life?" Holmes retracts his claims a little and admits, "Your deductive skills are not unworthy of further development." She tells him that she told Gregson he was an addict, so he might want to go have a talk with him.
Gregson's office. Holmes enters. Gregson: "We have something to talk about?" Holmes says there are many specious reasons he didn't tell Gregson about his history. The real reason is that he was embarrassed. He stammers as he admits he's more vain that he's like to admit. "And I'm sorry. Because you deserve to know." Gregson says he did know. He obviously researches his consultants. And that "personal valet" line about Watson was stupid, so he researched her too. He tested Holmes by asking him out for a drink. "Was I happy that you didn't tell me? No. But your work hasn't slipped one bit since Scotland Yard." He won't be spreading it around, though. So that's all taken care of, then.
Brownstone. Holmes is at the table, practicing picking the lock of handcuffs behind his back. That's probably a good idea! Watson gets a text that Aaron is blowing her off for Emily's party. Holmes says Aaron probably finds Watson's analytical skills threatening. He warns her that once you start looking for puzzles, they're everywhere. Watson: "Seems like a lonely way to live." Holmes: "As I said. Has its costs." Watson leaves as Holmes unlocks the cuffs.
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