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Holmes's latest thing is that he doesn't want any unnecessary information cluttering up his brain. This, he tells Watson, is why he doesn't play violin anymore. He needed to keep the mental space available for, you know, crime facts.
The case of the evening involves a young man who's been shot through the head in an apparent robbery. Except the only robbery was the guy down the hall stealing the antique armoire. But there was definitely a murder! Holmes thinks it was a woman, because his sensitive nose has detected a lady's deodorant on a chair.
The armoire thief says he saw a woman, and a sketch is made over the objections of this week's skeptical cop. The sketch matches a woman who's been a coma for three days. So it can't possibly be her! (Spoilers: it actually was her!) She's got a fraternal twin, but she's got a pretty good alibi, too.
Another victim turns up, and Holmes employs his brilliance to identify her as the first victim's half-sister based on subtle clues like a similar hairline, bone structure, and extremely rare genetic disorder. And it turns out that both victims were half-siblings of the twins we met earlier and stood to somehow inherit a bunch of money. So far, it seems like everything would have unfolded about the same way regardless of whether Sherlock Holmes was involved.
But then Holmes is stuck in a rehab meeting and he's so bored, he actually listening to the stories. And that gives him a brilliant idea! Eventually, Holmes sets an extremely obvious trap for the one in the coma, where she thinks she's killing yet another long-lost heir. It turns out that she was being given coma-inducing drugs by her doctor boyfriend, then brought out of it the same way when it was time to kill. It's the perfect plan! Assuming you want a killer who's constantly woozy from being given coma-inducing drugs!
Oh, and Watson has a date with an ex-lover. Very little happens. At the end of the episode, Holmes plays his violin again, which Watson appears to take as some sort of victory. I don't think the neighbors feel the same way.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We open in a rehab meeting. I don't know what they're actually called. It's one of those deals where someone stands up and tells stories about how their addiction affected their lives. A "support group meeting"? Anyway, Holmes and Watson are sitting in the traditional uncomfortable chairs while a young man tells them (and us) that he's been sober for a specific length of time. He goes into detail, but it isn't very interesting. And that's not just my opinion! Holmes shows absolutely no facial expression or reaction. Apparently he repeats "amygdala" to himself until he hypnotizes himself, then he just rides the trance through the entire meeting. If you're curious, the "amygdala" is the part of the brain that is involved in emotional learning, so he's literally using the name of the thing to keep it from working.
After the meeting, Holmes explains his "attic theory" of the brain. He finds it essential not to allow useless facts into his brain, because they'll push out the useful facts. He demonstrates this by stealing drinks from a surprisingly patient lady at a sidewalk cafe. You see, brains are like glasses and facts are like liquids. If you pour too much in, they'll overflow! I want to know more about this woman who has nothing to say about a crazy man stealing her drinks and pouring them into each other.
They get home and Watson tells Holmes she'll be going out to dinner with a friend later on. Holmes is lavishly sarcastic about how she could possibly leave him alone for two hours, but she assures him he'll get a drug test as soon as she gets back. But! Just then! Holmes gets a call from Gregson, which means the game? It's afoot.
The scene: an apartment building. The victim: some guy with a bullet hole in his forehead. He's outside his actual apartment, out in the hallway. The police figure he interrupted a robber, who shot him. Gregson introduces Detective Bell, who's this week's Doubting Cop. Do you think we're going to get a new Doubting Cop every episode? Or is it going to be like the first season of Batman: The Animated Series, where that one cop was suspicious of Batman the whole time, even though Batman was always right and kept saving his life?
Anyway, Bell claims he's heard good things about Holmes. And now, onto the case at hand. There's a neighbor down the hall who called 911. Watson says she'll wait in the hall, because now she's queasy about dead bodies or something. Holmes looks at the blood spray on the wall and sniffs the furniture. Then he shouts at Bell to tell him that it wasn't a robbery-homicide. It was two separate crimes! His evidence is that the shot came from the direction of a chair, so the killer was sitting down, rather than being surprised in the middle of a robbery. Also, he can smell a lady's deodorant in the chair where the shooter was sitting. Meanwhile, the robbery was committed by a strong man. The evidence: he didn't just steal a wallet and a watch. He stole a heavy armoire.
It is at this point that Bell tells Holmes he's nuts. See, even though Bell has heard "good things" about Holmes and Gregson apparently thought this was a sufficiently baffling case to call in the famed consulting detective, the police already assume they know exactly what happened. Watson pops up to show the missing armoire in a convenient picture, so there. And there's no elevator in this building. The scratches on the floor go to the hallway, and Holmes is now suspicious of the neighbor, who's obviously the guy who stole the armoire. Holmes kicks in the door across the hall on the grounds that he doesn't need a warrant, since he's not a cop. So isn't he breaking and entering? Anyway, Holmes points at the neighbor: "Thief. Now all you need is your killer."
Ah! There is a title sequence after all! It's a Rube Goldberg device featuring a crystal ball and a mouse and violin music.
After the opening, we're in the interrogation room. The neighbor is apparently still a suspect, because he's telling Bell that Casey (the dead guy) was already dead when he found him. The neighbor seems to think "the economy" is a good reason to steal an armoire from what's obviously going to be a heavily scrutinized crime scene. Bell is leaning on him. On the other side of the one-way glass, Holmes considers this "wrong wrong wrong wrong." Gregson doesn't buy Holmes's theory about a separate murderer, because who goes around believing Sherlock Holmes? Not cops, that's for sure. Holmes gets angry until Watson sends him out to get a bag of chips. The balance of power in this relationship is very different from most Holmes/Watson duos. Watson interrogates Gregson about his relationship with Holmes. We don't learn anything earthshaking: "He was a pain in the ass, but he was also very, very good." Watson continues to pry and learns that Holmes called Gregson from Heathrow airport in London two weeks earlier.
Out at the snack machine, Holmes is eating the chips that he was supposed to be getting for Watson. The charitable interpretation is that he knew Watson was getting him out of the way. The cruel way to look at it is that this Sherlock Holmes has so little short-term memory that he forgot who the chips were for in the twenty seconds it took him to walk to the machine.
Bell comes out to tell Gregson that the neighbor won't admit to murder and that he wants a lawyer. Is that rare? It seems like most of the time, even when you've caught the actual murderer, they're not going to admit it just because you asked them nicely. The neighbor does claim to have passed a woman on the stairs, but even though he can provide a detailed description, Bell doesn't care. Because obviously he's making it all up. I really question why they called Holmes in on this, since the police all seem to think that this is a simple, open-and-shut case. Also, Bell calls Holmes "Harry Potter" which doesn't work on any level. He and Holmes talk over each other and Gregson eventually decides he'll accept Holmes's request for a sketch artist.
Still in the police station, Watson wants to know if Holmes can get home by himself. It's New York! There's a subway! And I know the makers of this show know that. It's weird. Holmes smugly knows that Watson is meeting a man she's had sex with because she's been careful not to use gendered pronouns when referring to him. And he knows she hasn't had sex recently because of what a study in Belgium said about her walk.
Now Watson is in a restaurant meeting her date. He wins cases for the DA, so you know he's "successful." He wants to know about her current assignment, but she won't talk about her work. He engages in some exposition, saying, "I know we're not together anymore, but..." It turns out that her parents contacted him to contact her, and he expresses their distress that she's no longer a surgeon. They would like him to ask why she's wasting her time being a Sober Companion. She answers, "I'm doing this because I'm actually good at it."
Back at the brownstone, Watson has made coffee, but won't carry it over to Holmes's outstretched cup. He observes that she didn't sleep with her ex. I guess I should add that he says it smugly, but that's kind of Jonny Lee Miller's default attitude on this show. Holmes is going through the autopsy pictures on his computer. He notes that the victim also had a clouding of the cornea. Watson wants to know why Holmes had told Gregson he was calling from Heathrow. The reason is that Gregson wouldn't let Holmes help if he knew he was an addict. That seems kind of obvious, doesn't it?
Bell calls Holmes. He's found the woman. She's at St. Isidore hospital. And now, Holmes and Watson are there, too! And they have the sketch from the sketch artist, which does indeed look exactly like this photo of a woman. Bell has a story about how an "old uni buddy" recognized her. And when he was shown the photo, the neighbor said there was no doubt about it. But here's the thing: she's in a coma! Yes, this woman (Yvette Ellison) tried to kill herself three days ago, and she's been in a coma ever since. Bell sneers at Holmes, "So thanks for the, uh 'consultation.' But I think I'll take it from here."
After Bell leaves, Holmes studies the comatose Yvette, Then he shouts, "YVETTE!" in her face on the grounds that she might be faking. Her deodorant matches the deodorant he smelled on the chair. He looks for something to stab her with. I think that test is going to be less effective when you talk about it in the room with her. Also, I think the show should try to avoid making itself too much like House. Watson tests for pseudo-coma in a more doctorly fashion, which means that she lifts Yvette's hand and lets it fall and hit her in the face. Holmes asks why that's more scientific, and I agree with him. Holmes glances through a book while Watson checks the coma machines and looks at Yvette's chart. Yvette's doctor enters and Holmes tells him that her coma is quite real. Then Holmes and Watson get out of there.
Outside, Holmes tells Watson that the book was inscribed, "To Yvette and Rebecca on your fifth birthday." So Yvette has a twin! And their father was the very rich Charles Ellison, whose charitable trust has been run by Rebecca for years. Holmes got all that from his phone, not by performing marvels of deduction. Because what fun would that be?
At the charitable trust, Holmes barges in and demands to know where Rebecca Ellison is. To his shock and disbelief, she turns out to be a fraternal twin of Yvette's. Not identical at all! She has different hair, eye color, and face shape. So she probably wasn't the person that the neighbor saw. Back to the drawing board!
By "drawing board" I mean the brownstone, I guess, because that's where Holmes and Watson go back to. Holmes is picking locks for practice. And we're using a fisheye lens for no reason whatsoever. He tells Watson that he has concluded that the real killer must resemble Yvette. And must have something against Casey, which makes sense, right? You'd think the murderer probably had some reason to kill that guy. Watson announces that she's found something in a closet. It wasn't Holmes's zipper mask; it was his old violin. She wants him to play, but he explains that the ability to play the violin took up too much space in his brain. Like, remember that time I took that wine-making course and forgot how to drive? The phone rings, and it's Ty, Watson's ex-boyfriend. As she talks to him in the foreground, Holmes is in the blurry background setting fire to the violin. This angers Watson who shouts, "We're supposed to open up to each other. That's how companionship works!"
Gregson calls. There's been another shooting, and he would like Holmes and Watson to meet him in Queens. Once they get there, Bell admits that the murderer probably wasn't the neighbor, since he was in custody at the time of the murder. The scene reveals to Holmes that the murderer was sitting, and the chair in question smells the same. Watson spots a medicine for that corneal problem that Casey had. Holmes says this woman has the same bone structure, widow's peak, and rare genetic disorder as Casey McManus. They were brother and sister! I hate to keep bringing up the same thing, but if the police hadn't discovered that, how come they called Holmes?
After some commercials, Gregson tells Holmes they were half-siblings. Watson adds that they shared a father. But Gregson says the two kids never knew. The woman is Anna Webster. Well, she was Anna Webster. Holmes the supergenius declares that when two children of the same mystery father are killed within 24 hours of each other, it's not a coincidence. This is why you get a supergenius. A regular genius would never come up with that. He still thinks the killer was a woman (because of the deodorant smell), but he thinks it's probably worth locating the father anyway. Gregson says that this will be difficult because both mothers are dead.
Bell comes in to report that Anna Webster reported a man following her, and the police got a picture. Holmes says there's no family resemblance. Gregson recognizes it anyway: it's "Mike," the private investigator. Everyone goes to Mike's office to shake him down. Mike claims he's never seen Anna Webster, but the police picture of him across the street says otherwise. He says he can't talk about it because "it's protected by privilege." Holmes drags Mike out into the hallway to tell him that he can tell he's on meth because he's lost weight and is twitchy. So Mike has to come across with the information or Holmes will reveal all this in front of the cops. Also, he recommends his rehab facility.
Mike puts a file on his desk and leaves.
Suddenly we're back at the Ellison Trust offices, still with Holmes, Watson, Bell and Gregson. Holmes bothers Rebecca Ellison (the fraternal twin from before) because she hired lawyers to investigate Casey and Anna after discovering they were her half-siblings. So the mystery father was really Charles Ellison. She looks confused at the accusation of double-murder and asks, "What do you mean, they're both dead?" Holmes explains that there's a will that didn't contain a clause to cut out the half-siblings, which gave her a motive. She says she didn't kill anyone. She was at home. Alone. Bell wants to take her back to the precinct. But first, Rebecca closes the door to her office. She says she and Yvette found out about Casey and Anna, just before their father died. That's why she wanted to investigate them. But then Yvette went into a tailspin. She started seeing a married man, started drinking, and tried to kill herself. But Holmes thinks that suicide attempt might really have been attempted murder. Rebecca slaps him. Holmes asks why she disguised herself as Yvette. Why? What's the point of framing a woman in a coma?" Rebecca answers, "You're insane." Then she's taken away.
Hey, I was just wondering. Why does a woman in a coma need deodorant? They give the patients sponge baths, don't they?
Outside, Holmes explains to Watson that a left-handed slap hurts more. One cheek is "leathery from slaps" and the other is like a baby's bottom. I like the backstory that Holmes gets slapped a lot. I just bet he does. When they get to the brownstone, Ty is there! He thinks he was invited to a dinner party, but Holmes did it with Watson's phone. Ty demands to know who Holmes is and mistakes him for a boyfriend. This is weird, because he knows that Watson is a Sober Companion with a new client. It's possible he assumes that her clients are always women, but it still seems pretty obvious who the erratic weirdo is, you know?
Here's Holmes's defense of messing with Watson's private affairs: "I'll keep my secrets, you keep yours. If I'm still sober in five weeks, we'll go our separate ways." So he's ticked off about her finding his violin. Gregson calls. A search of Rebecca's place turned up nothing, and security cameras show her not leaving on the night of either murder. So she's off the hook. Also, nobody mentions this but it seems like if you're going to put on a disguise to commit a crime, the last disguise in the world you'll pick would be your own twin. Like, that's just going out of your way to mildly inconvenience the police. You'll still get caught, and the police will just be annoyed at having gone to the wrong place first.
Another rehab meeting. Holmes is whining to Watson about how he has to spend 45 minutes in the meeting. Instead of listening, which is what he's supposed to be doing. I wonder what he says when it's his turn to talk. He still thinks Rebecca did it. Watson brought a tack to poke him with if he trances out. I like that it's a trick she learned from Holmes! A woman comes up to talk about her addiction. Holmes pretends to be playing a violin. The world's smallest one. The woman says she met a doctor with three beautiful daughters and eventually his wife called the police. Holmes looks like he has an idea. Holmes and Watson leave. Watson insists on knowing what his breakthrough was. Holmes wants to find Rebecca immediately. Immediately!
Holmes enters Yvette's hospital room, where Rebecca's reading a book to her sister. He announces that he knows about Mary Margaret Phelps, the third heir. He shouts a specific address and that he's going to be her personal bodyguard. He's making a scene, and various people throng in, including Detective Bell. Bell drags Holmes away. Or he tries to, but Holmes throws him to the floor. So he gets handcuffed and dragged away to jail for assaulting an officer.
Ms. Phelps comes home and the camera follows her as she does various mundane getting-home things. Someone picks the lock of her front door. She gets a frozen dinner and puts it in the microwave while reading the newspaper. The intruder (who is a woman) pulls out a gun and sneaks in. She's stopped by police. "Put the gun down, Miss Thompson. Or do you prefer...Yvette?"
Watson explainsto Rebecca that Yvette was in a medically-induced coma, which she entered and left when her doctor gave her the relevant drugs. Holmes noticed that the doctor had a tan line where he used to wear a ring. Holmes goes over the whole story at length so we can see it happening. Watson says the "suicide attempt" was barbiturates, which simulate a coma. Yvette was seated for the murders because she was weak from drugs and the coma. Holmes further explains that his scene at the hospital room was a trap and that Ms. Phelps wasn't really a lost heir. Yeah, obviously. I don't know why they didn't just stake out the hallway outside Yvette's room. Or, for that matter, why the doctor couldn't have taken care of this murder on his own. Eventually, you have to stop relying on the woozy, drug-addled, recently-comatose woman, right?
Rebecca wants to contact her attorneys to help Yvette. Holmes points out that Yvette was still in the coma after killing Amy, implying that she still had someone to kill. Specifically, Rebecca. "You mind that big heart, Miss Ellison. It'll beat longer." Rebecca looks thoughtful and gracefully drops out of the story.
Gregson says Bell is buying drinks, and Bell says it's under orders. But he thanks Holmes and offers a handshake. I shall look forward to seeing how Bell reacts to Holmes's crazy theory.
Brownstone. Holmes complains that Watson's dinner for the two of them consists of "more malodorous takeout." Watson wants to talk about the rehab meeting. She points out that Holmes was listening, and it helped because he wouldn't have thought of the doctor without it. Holmes thanks her. She asks if he closes himself off as a form of penance, "for what happened in London. Being addicted." She thinks people can do penance without even knowing it. Holmes: "You always know it, Watson. If you didn't, it wouldn't be penance."
Later that night. Holmes looks at his violin case. Watson sits in bed. He has another violin. I find it unlikely that it would be in tune. Watson, who is reading with her glasses in her hand, hears him playing violin. I can only imagine that the neighbors are furious at this development.
Follow Monty on Twitter at @monty_ashley and read his blog, Mysterious Exhortations.