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We then get our musical montage of the week featuring Darlene Love's "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)." This was by far the most hilarious musical montage ever with enough sight gags to fuel the entire Marx Brothers catalogue. First, Shirley unveils her caricature of Mike, which, of course, is all forehead. Then we see the booth to "Punch Kenny for $10," where men are lined up to punch Kenny in the gut. Kenny doesn't even flinch. We then see Nancy on the mechanical bull, which single-handedly breaks my zipper. That's followed by Phil holding a cockfighting match with two lethargic roosters just walking around. Then it's Mike's turn on the bull, followed by the "Kiss Shirley Pifko for $10" booth; we see men walking up to Shirley, handing her a ten spot, and then kissing her on her mouth. She's not even pursing her lips for the kissing, just sitting there stone-faced. We then see Ed on the bull, before moving on to Phil, who has created a "Do It With Phil Stubbs for $10" booth; he's laid out on a sofa in his silk pajamas, without a single person lined up to have sex with him. There's a "Get Your Photo Taken With a Guy Who Looks A Little Like Art Garfunkel for $10" booth with a guy who looks more like Larry from The Three Stooges than Art Garfunkel. Phil's slowly painting the red part of one of those fundraising thermometers that will let people know when they hit their goal of $100,000. He's getting close to $70,000. Someone bowls a ball down the alley, which smashes into a stack of beer bottles for $10. Phil gets on the bull and is immediately thrown off after everyone else lasted for quite a while. Phil's then shown painting the thermometer all the way to the $100,000 mark.
When the party's over, Ed tells Prescott and Kapler that they're going to be very happy with the results of the evening. As it turns out, they raised...$107,452. I spit my Diet Dr. Pepper out all over my chest because there's just no way in hell they could have raised that much money in that town. Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but I'm being asked to approach this show with the mind set of a lobotomy patient. Luckily, Phil comes out and says, "What are you talking about Bossco? We didn't raise $100,000." Thank God, I think, as I mop up the DDP off my chest. Ed says that he saw Phil painting the thermometer thing up over $100,000. Phil explains that he just got caught up in the moment and wanted everyone to think that they were doing really good. Ed asks how much they raised, and Phil replies, "8,612.35". Ed stands there shocked for a second before Phil says, "I'm just tooling on you! We raised $107,452!" Dammit! There goes Diet Dr. Pepper all over my chest again! I wish these bastards would make up their mind! Prescott thanks Ed and says that even though he can't condone the methods Ed used to raise the money, that cockamamie story about the foundation going out of business was a good one. Ed goes to correct Prescott, but Kapler is standing behind him, silently shaking his head "no" as if to say that Prescott is so out of it, he doesn't even know he bankrupted his foundation. Ed smiles as Prescott and Kapler leave, Prescott calling Ed a rookie.