Ed

2-22 2002.05.15

Last Chance No time for subplots as the majority of the episode revolves around the love triangles that have been building all year. For Ed, Carol and Jackass, it's a matter of Ed deciding to squeeze Carol's melons and making fruit salad out of them. After several attempts on Ed's part to grow some testes and admit his undying affection for Carol, he finally gets a sprout in his crotch. As far as Warren, Mark, and Diane are concerned, surprises are kept to a bare minimum, but it's still an entertaining story arc, a satisfying end to their season-long storyline, and a reason for obese people worldwide to stand up and cheer. And then quickly sit back down, gasping for air.

2-22 Recap	Last Chance Last Chance - No time for subplots as the majority of the episode revolves around the love triangles that have been building all year. For Ed, Carol and Jackass, it's a matter of Ed deciding to squeeze Carol's melons and making fruit salad out of them. After several attempts on Ed's part to grow some testes and admit his undying affection for Carol, he finally gets a sprout in his crotch. As far as Warren, Mark, and Diane are concerned, surprises are kept to a bare minimum, but it's still an entertaining story arc, a satisfying end to their season-long storyline, and a reason for obese people worldwide to stand up and cheer. And then quickly sit back down, gasping for air.	2002.05.15 2002.05.18	B-	Uncle Bob
2-21 Recap	Memory Lane Memory Lane - Ed meets an elderly woman whose entire past has been tossed out with the trash, which causes him to realize that maybe, just maybe, he might need to go out, buy a camcorder, and start reliving his past in order to capture his favorite memories on videotape. Which causes him to realize that it's never too late to change the past. Warren and Diane's stab at romance hits a brick wall when neither can figure out how to jump-start a friendship and cruise into Wild Teen Sex Land. And the Jackass runs for senior-class president. You know...that's all great and all...but Uncle Bob's still reeling from the biggest shout-out in TWoP history.	2002.05.08 2002.05.11	A+	Uncle Bob
2-20 Recap	Power of the Person Power of the Person - Ed agrees to coach the Quizbowl team at Stuckeyville High -- a team that includes one loner guy who is a social outcast. Ed takes the kid under his wing until Herr Jackass kicks the kid off the Quizbowl team. Then Jackass starts acting really strange around everyone. Hmmmm...could it be the fact that he's about to move in with Carol? Or is it...something else?! Phil decides to bring professional boxing to a bowling alley. And Warren decides that he needs religion in his life and starts shopping around for a church to call home.	2002.05.01 2002.05.05	A	Uncle Bob
2-19 Recap	The Choke Artist Returns The Shot - So Ed missed a shot in a basketball game in high school that caused his team to lose the state championship and led him on a path of mediocreness, if in fact, mediocreness is still a word. It was when I was in high school, but I wouldn't be shocked if they got rid of it after high school because it's not only hard to spell, but hard to say as well. Anyway...Ed wants a do-over and gets it which is no surprise because Ed always gets what he wants except a glimpse at Carol Vessey's panties. Molly hooks up with Jim, her married boyfriend and forces him to leave his wife. Apparently she's been taking lessons from Carol on how to ruin a poor bastard's life. And Shirley gets her own plotline. And about twelve speaking lines. Which most likely signifies her last plotline since the writers still can't trust her to carry an entire third of a show. All this and absolutely nothing more in this week's incredibly repetitive recap of Ed.	2002.04.24 2002.05.01		Uncle Bob
2-18 Recap	Mountains Out of Molehills Trust - In the most predictable episode yet, Ed's best friend Mike gets sued for sexual harassment by a comely nurse, and Ed takes it upon himself to defend the lecherous doctor. Okay...everyone out there who thinks that Ed will lose the case and his friend be sent up the river for sexual harrassment, raise your hands. Uh huh. Put your hands down, you morons. Carol wants to be a newspaper reporter and follow in the footsteps of Uncle Bob.	2002.04.10 2002.04.13	B+	Uncle Bob
2-17 Recap	O Brother, Where Art Thy Brains? Lloyd - So Ed has this brother Lloyd that we've never heard about, and who seems to be pretty irresponsible. Actually, Uncle Bob's met drunken frat boys on cocaine rampages who were more responsible. Nancy gets to meet one of her friends from the internet in the flesh, and the resulting confrontation is not anything like she would have predicted. Hell, Nostradamus couldn't have predicted this guy. And Warren gets to make out with a college girl who looks suspiciously like Morgan Fairchild's mother when all along he should have been grinding molars with Diane.	2002.04.03 2002.04.08	B-	Uncle Bob
2-16 Recap	Rumors Of Ed's Demise Are Hardly Exaggerated Wheel of Justice - Ed begins to worry about one of the many, many judges in Stuckeyville when the guy forces Carol to sing a Jim Croce song to avoid jail time over a speeding ticket. Mike finally gets his own practice, but finds times are tough when you're a doctor with no patients. How does one achieve success when starting their own medical practice? Plus...several subtle clues that would lend credence to the rumors that the show's days are indeed numbered. All this and not much more in this week's skull-scratching episode of Ed.	2002.03.27 2002.03.30	C-	Uncle Bob
2-15 Recap	Nice Guys Finish Last Nice Guys Finish Last - Shades of Stephen King's magnum opus Maximum Overdrive as Stuckeyville becomes overrun by eighteen-wheelers. To drive this point across (extremely lame pun intended), the entire episode is practically drowned out by the sounds of roaring trucks in the background. Naturally, it's up to Ed to rid the town of these trucks like an out-of-control Orkin man with a trucking fetish. In the two requisite subplots, Carol's self-esteem takes a jab to the throat as Jackass tells her exactly what he thinks of her literary skills, and Molly quickly runs out of ways to play "Keep Away From The Stalker" with her recently-discovered-to-be-married boyfriend.	2002.03.08 2002.03.11		Uncle Bob
2-14 Recap	Uncle Bob's To Do List Things To Do Today - 1. Watch Ed. 2. Take extensive notes that end up looking like a really bad Rorschach test. 3. Try to make sense of the notes. 4. Give up on notes and rely heavily on memory. 5. Inform TWoP's readers that this week, Ed meets a crazy girl played by Kelly Ripa; Molly gets some shocking news about her boyfriend's secret wife; and Warren grapples with his conscience to release a video showing Carol and Jackass lapping away at each other like horny alley cats. All this and the word "vagina" in this week's mind-bending episode of Ed.	2002.02.27 2002.03.02	B	Uncle Bob
2-13 Recap	Youth Bandits Youth Bandits - Ed has to decide whether to play a song called "She's A Bitch (But I Love Her)" at his high-school buddy's funeral. Jessica and Warren kiss, and then break up.	2002.02.06 2002.02.09	B-	Kim
2-12 Recap	Ends and Means Ends and Means - Ed helps a pretty lady defend herself against embezzling charges, and then he tries to get some. Nancy is featured prominently, which makes it all the sadder that Uncle Bob didn't get to write this recap.	2002.01.30 2002.02.06	A-	Kim
2-11 Recap	Two Days of Freedom Two Days of Freedom - Ed monitors Big Pussy over the course of forty-eight hours of freedom from Pussy's marriage. Carol and Jackass reconcile, even though Jackass calls her cheap, plastic, and disposable. Warren blows it with Jessica. Maybe.	2002.01.16 2002.01.19	B+	Kim
2-10 Recap	Small Town Guys Small Town Guys - Ed's hired to represent a man who is being sued for humiliating a woman over the internet. I had no idea this could be done. If so, I'd like to apologize profusely to my wife, my mother, and that bitchy next-door neighbor of mine. In other storylines, Warren figures out that if he makes a complete and utter ass of himself, Jessica will look his way. So the bonehead ventures just short of setting himself on fire to get her undivided attention. Mike finds himself embroiled in an ugly war with his employer, Dr. Jerome, that results in his donning a bald wig. Nancy dances, and the world stops on its axis. And the words "Uncle" and "Bob" are uttered in the same sentence, which must have been a veiled shout-out to this beloved recapper. Either that, or I've got some serious ego issues.	2002.01.09 2002.01.12	A	Uncle Bob
2-9 Recap	'Tis The Season To Be Clinically Insane Charity Cases - Stuckeyville's most beloved philanthropist chooses Ed to help him give away to the locals as much money as he can in a single day. The only problem is...the guy's about as broke as Christopher Reeve's spirit. Carol and Principal Jackass take it to the next level and not only get their freak on, but do the wild thang, push it, smack it up, flip it, and rub it down...with disastrous results. Word. And Mike thinks it's high time he and Nancy get a little class in their lives, so that the evil Baby Sara doesn't grow up to be a cheap whore who loves classic rock and corn dogs in between tokes on the crack pipe.	2001.12.12 2001.12.14	A	Uncle Bob
2-8 Recap	Racism Is Alive and Well in Stuckeyville Goodbye Sadie - Ed defends a teacher who is accused of racism when he won't cast an African-American kid in the role of Abe Lincoln -- you know, the really tall president guy with the Amish beard? The one who would wrestle his way out of any argument? The guy that freed the African-American slaves? Elsewhere in Stuckeyville, Warren Cheswick goes flying down the highway to the happening town of Popularityville, and Molly gets rid of her car in a big way. You know, it doesn't sound like much, but it sure beat the hell out of the last couple of episodes.	2001.12.03 2001.12.07	B	Uncle Bob
2-7 Recap	Mommy, Why's The Principal Vomiting in a Trash Can? The New World - The show continues its downward spiral into Crappydom as Principal Jackass comes to Ed to represent him in a lawsuit arising after a fender bender. The Jackass is sued for a hefty amount, which he's willing to pay in order to stay out of court. This means he has something to hide, and we finally find out the reason he's so damned cranky and irritable. Granted, it's something I never imagined. Mainly because I thought the writers had more imagination than what they came up with. In other news, Nancy takes on a vengeful group of Cookie Moms who want to shut down her Farmer's Market booth for selling some damned good cookies. And in a hastily thrown-together plotline, Ed puts Phil, Kenny, and Shirley in charge of drumming up business for a Stuckeyville Thanksgiving parade with less than hilarious results. My God. I skipped an airing of Naked Gun for this?!	2001.11.21 2001.11.25		Uncle Bob
2-6 Recap	Where's Paul Westerberg When You Need Him? Replacements - In this bone-chilling episode, Ed seems to be getting replaced in all facets of his once happy life. On the job front, Doogie Howser has picked up the bowling-alley lawyer ball and run with it, leaving Ed in the dust. On the love front, Carol's spending just a little too much time kvetching over Principal Jackass and can't decide which is sexier: borderline stalking the man or harboring an uncomfortable obsession about him. The plans for "Operation: Get The Chezzkat Laid" start to fall into place as Diane talks Warren into going out for the school's wrestling squad in order to woo Jessica Martel. And the largest teenager on television loses his virginity. What more could a TV viewer want? All right...besides quality entertainment?	2001.11.14 2001.11.18	C-	Uncle Bob
2-5 Recap	Love Really Is Like A Gawdawful Journey Power Ballad Closure - Carol digs up a spicy little friend from Brazil who is in dire need of a divorce lawyer. Ed isn't really qualified to handle the case, but it's Carol asking and there could be some hot sex involved if Ed plays his cards right, so he agrees to represent El Hottie. Slowly losing his grip on sanity, Ed also calls his ex-wife and asks her to come to Stuckeyville to find out exactly where, when, and why their marriage went careening over a cliff like Thelma and Louise. Dr. Jerome finds a new way to get under Mike's skin without the use of painful needles, and Molly decides to nip her latest relationship in the bud to prove that she can be just as dysfunctional as Carol when she wants to be. All this and more in another spine-tingling episode of Ed.	2001.11.07 2001.11.10		Uncle Bob
2-4 Recap	Roll Out Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Children's Television Hosts With Psychotic Tendencies Crazy Time - Molly's trials and tribulations with love continue as the man of her dreams seems to be looking for a drinking buddy with amazingly healthy hooters rather than a steady gal. Ed meets the infamous children's hero, Dr. Crazy, who should maybe look into changing his moniker to Dr. Depresso. Warren decides that this school year will be the one when he is finally known as Mr. Jessica Martell, and Phil masters the backflip. Ummm...sort of.	2001.10.31 2001.11.04	A-	Uncle Bob
2-3 Recap	A Job Well Done A Job Well Done - In this captivating and earth-shattering episode, Ed is hornswaggled into defending the sleaziest employer in Stuckeyville -- a man who makes his employees dress in sexy outfits and flirt with the customers. This infuriates Molly because...because...well, because Molly ain't exactly got it goin' on in the Sexy Department. In other plot lines, Mike doesn't' want to be an "old dad," and is ready to procreate before his biological clock starts flashing 12:00. Carol's actually forced to read the books she's discussing in class. And a Russian guy loses his ball at Stuckey Bowl, sending the city into a panic, because you don't want to piss off the Russian immigrants in Stuckeyville. Something about anthrax and all.	2001.10.24 2001.10.27	C+	Uncle Bob
2-2 Recap	Cool To Be Kind Changes - The theme this week is changing who you are to be somebody you're not, which, coincidentally, happens to be the theme of the hip new flick Glitter. Ed meets a man who, for unknown reasons, wants to change his identity, which makes Ed think that it would be "cool" to change his own identity. Carol tries to change into someone with a glimmer of common sense, while Mike tries to change with what can only be called a dork-ass new hairdo he received over the summer. And Uncle Bob cries at the end of the episode. For God's sake, what more could a viewer want?	2001.10.17 2001.10.20	A-	Uncle Bob
2-1 Recap	"Knock Knock." "Who's There?" "That Skank Ho Bonnie Hane." "That Skank Ho Bonnie Hane Who?" "That Skank Ho Bonnie Hane Is Baaa-ack!" The Stars Align - Ed and Carol are thisfreakinclose to some hot monkey lovin' when the evil Bonnie Hane shows up at the front door, poised to sink her filthy claws into the nearest supply of Ed meat she can get her hands on and perhaps even spawn a few demon seeds. In happier news, Warren Cheswick faces prison time after illegally purchasing liquor and causing a disfiguring accident to a sworn enemy, Nancy adjusts to the life of a vengeful housewife, and the Stuckey Bowl faces a health inspection that could close the doors of the popular Stuckeyville landmark...FOREHHHHVER!!! Okay...it wasn't THAT dramatic.	2001.10.10 2001.10.14	B-	Uncle Bob
1-22 Recap	What Goes Around Comes Around. And Around. And Around. And Around. Prom Night - Ed stays out of the courtroom for an entire episode to appease the denizens of the MBTV Ed boards, but still finds time to help an old lady tick off her landlord. Warren is hit with some shocking news from his buds, which forces him to do the unthinkable. Carol's suffering hot flashes because she wants to run her hands all over Eddie, and Phil aspires to become the hottest thing in the world of ignorant television.	2001.05.23 2001.05.24	B+	Uncle Bob
1-21 Recap	Eenie Meenie Miney Mo, Catch A Prom Date By The Toe Mixed Signals - Warren gets caught between a rock and a hard place when he can't decide who to take to the prom...Sweet Donna or Sexy Jessica. Oddly enough, this is the dilemma facing most teenage male virgins who fancy themselves Amazon jungle studs. Carol becomes more and more infatuated with Ed and is beginning to break down her icy walls, while Ed seems quite comfortable keeping their relationship at the "just friends" level. Stuckey Bowl is transformed into Las Vegas for one evening of showgirls, slot machines and fake celebrities. And Mike is forced to throw a party for Dr. Jerome, the only man in America who can make Timothy McVeigh look compassionate.	2001.05.16 2001.05.19	B+	Uncle Bob
1-20 Recap	Friends Don't Let Friends Scam On Their Potential Boyfriends Mind Over Matter - Molly gets a bit huffy when she finds out that her latest beau, Jeff, asked Carol out before he got around to testing the Molly waters. Ed's desperate to see that Stuckey Bowl stays around long after he's gone, so he tries to have the mecca of Stuckeyville entertainment declared a historic landmark. He also finds time to represent some arthritis sufferers who are suing their doctor after he sold them some extremely expensive sugar pills. And Phil is at the top of his game as the most pompous ass on television, almost getting his butt kicked several times throughout the show.	2001.05.09 2001.05.13	C+	Uncle Bob
1-19 Recap	A Big Mac, Large Order of Fries and a Big Ol' Can of Whoop Ass, Please Windows of Opportunity - Ed defends an overweight guy whose brother goes to extremes to make sure the guy's cholesterol level stays in the triple digits. Warren Cheswick gets another opportunity to become the stud he knows he can be. And the world's stupidest couple decide to get married and spawn Jell-O-brained mutants for mankind's amusement...at the Stuckey Bowl.	2001.05.02 2001.05.06	C	Uncle Bob
1-18 Recap	I Cheat, You Cheat, We All Cheat To Satisfy Our Primal Sexual Urges. Errr...I Mean ..."Ice Cream"! The Test - Ed defends an old high-school girlfriend who sets up her husband to cheat on her with airheaded sluts from the office. A few minutes later, the girlfriend kisses Ed and Ed seems to enjoy it. But Ed's had enough hot jungle lovin' for one season and keeps his mouth closed tightly during the kiss. I check my watch forty-seven times during the kiss...that's how long this uncomfortable liplock lasts. The rest of the episode sucks ripe skunk balls. Should be an amusing recap.	2001.04.04 2001.04.09		Uncle Bob
1-17 Recap	Revenge Of The Nerd-Haters Exceptions - One of Carol's prize students is great at all things academic, but sucks the big one when it comes to physical activities in his gym class. This leads the high school gym coach to prepare to give him a "D," which will ruin any chances the student has of getting a scholarship for college. Carol asks Ed to help talk some sense into the coach, but the coach ends up talking sense into Ed, leaving Carol -- as The Cure would say -- "hot hot hot." Several twists and swerves abound which slowly transform this installment of Ed into one of those "Must See Episodes" that NBC is so fond of producing.	2001.03.28 2001.03.29	A-	Uncle Bob
1-16 Recap	Live Deliberately Live Deliberately - Ed's client of the week encourages people to "do everything." He even dates Molly, but he doesn't do her. You know, in case you were wondering.	2001.02.28 2001.03.03	A	Kim
1-15 Recap	You've Gotta Fight For Your Right To Bonnie Loyalties - We enter into a bizarro Stuckeyville this week as Bonnie Hane shows vulnerability and traces of a heart under her thick skin, Carol actually looks at home while on another man's arm, Ed is actually called "mean" and for once he wears that tag well and Phil...oh Phil. Phil crosses over to the dark side and helps the former owner of Stuckey Bowl plot to run Ed out of business. Ed is back on track with this strange and riveting hour of televised entertainment.	2001.02.20 2001.02.26	A-	Uncle Bob

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