So you might remember that Cora has a brother Harold, who is back in America; he writes to Lord Grantham saying he's gotten into trouble (thanks to the Teapot Dome Scandal), and it's not yet clear why he needs Lord Grantham's help, but if he does go to America that could mean more Shirley MacLaine, so fingers crossed.
Alfred is hangdog about his failure… until he gets a letter saying a candidate ahead of him dropped out, and he's in. Daisy's distraught, of course, and after Jimmy James tries to round second with Ivy and is firmly called out, Ivy gets nostalgic for what a gentleman Alfred was and is told to shove it by Daisy, with a co-sign from Mrs. Hughes. I simply do not care about this whole thing, but still enjoyed that.
With Alfred gone, Mrs. Hughes and Patmore advocate for Molesley as his replacement, but Carson doesn't want to hear it. Even when Molesley gets wind of Alfred's departure and shows up to the house Carson's still like "Ixnay." In desperation, Molesley appeals to Mrs. Hughes and Patmore, so they conspire to have Molesley on in a kitchen capacity for the party in hopes that Carson will reconsider, and Carson is exasperated but gives in, which seems par for the course in any Molesley plotline.
Despite his words of last time, Bates is brooding and Anna knows his mind is still on Green, so Anna suggests they go out to a fancy dinner, but that doesn't help either and she doesn't appreciate him seeing her as a victim. Cora happens to be out at the same place, and she later tells Mary she gleaned that Anna was hurt somehow and Bates feels he failed to protect her. Baxter later gives Thomas this information, but makes it clear she doesn't actually feel so great about being his source of gossip. Thomas, it really doesn't take you long, does it?
Edith has gone from worried to panicked over Gregson, especially since his office has a detective in Munich looking for him with no result and her emotional burden increases when she gets confirmation by post that she's pregnant. What it must be like to be her.
Another one of the Dowager Countess's possessions has gone missing, and she continues to be unamused and lets Spratt know same; she then dismisses Pegg, to Isobel's great chagrin. The figurine or whatever is found, though, and Isobel then takes a Nancy Drew turn and discovers the letter opener was also merely mislaid. She takes Clarkson over to try to badger the Dowager Countess into rehiring Pegg -- only to find she's beaten her to it. The Dowager Countess has Pegg come in and recount to Isobel how she profoundly and handsomely apologized for her errant accusations, after which Clarkson is like "Sorry Iz, but you lose this one."
Napier and his boss Charles Blake arrive, and Mary is chagrined to learn from the handsome but plainspoken Blake that the government is not necessarily of the position that the survival of landed estates is a desired goal. Blake later tells Napier he thinks Mary's the type who thinks she's entitled to her assets without working for them; since he's mistaken, there's obviously room for their mutual dislike to turn into something else.
Finally, Rose is planning a surprise for Lord Grantham's birthday, but she needs a co-conspirator, so Cora points her at Mrs. Hughes; the deal is she's hired a jazz band and she needs to keep them downstairs between their arrival and the party. When the time arrives, Rose comes down to explain what's happening, and Carson resolves to keep the musicians entertained -- but his eyes practically pop out of their sockets when he sees African-American Jack Ross. The upstairs folk, however, mostly are into it, and Lord Grantham wants to pick the bill up, so after the party, Mary goes downstairs to find Ross… but sees him making out with Rose. She doesn't overtly let them know, but it's still pretty obvious even to them that she got wind of something. Lucky thing Mary's been through scandal of her own, I guess.
Daisy comes in with toast for breakfast and gives a piece to Alfred despite Carson pointing out that it should come to him first. It's not like her feelings about Alfred are a secret, but him getting his bread thirty seconds early probably isn't worth all the extra attention. Jimmy James -- using that special brand of facial distaste he generally reserves for anything concerning Alfred -- asks why he's getting special treatment, and far more ado is made about nothing here but the point is Daisy's thrilled Alfred's staying, like he had anything to do with it outside of being in the bottom fifty percent of his testing group.
In bed with her breakfast, Mary tells Anna that Napier and Blake will be coming to Downton in a few days, and when Anna asks if Mary still wants to put them up, she tells her yes indeed -- they're writing a report on why landed estates are "going wrong," and although she doesn't think Downton's in that category she'd love to have that confirmed. Mary then notes that Anna's mood has improved lately and asks if things have "sorted themselves out," and Anna tells her that they haven't completely, but things are better and she's moved back to the cottage. Mary notes that Anna obviously isn't going to give her any more information than that, "but I'm glad if it's resolved." Well, I'd like to think it was too, Mary, because it's really starting to drag, but this show has never been too great at judging when to end a Bates/Anna plotline.
After Edith once again anxiously asks if there's nothing for her and is once again told that there isn't, Lord Grantham announces that "your uncle Harold" (I remember Martha Levinson talking about her son's obsession with yachts) is in a fix involving oil leases and, as I mentioned in the recaplet, this will prove to be a reference to the Teapot Dome Scandal. Lord Grantham then says he always thought Harold was good at business, but apparently not this time and it once again goes to show how nobly British Lord Grantham is that he can feel qualified to discuss other people's business acumen without disclaiming how horrible his own happens to be. Edith wonders why Harold is "bothering" Lord Grantham with it, and Lord Grantham admits he's not sure before turning to Branson, who brings up the tamworths to be farmed at Downton. Rose pipes up that her family had them at Duneagle, but Lord Grantham cautions everyone that they haven't farmed pigs at Downton before, and when Branson replies that he thought Lord Grantham was convinced to go through with it, he admits that he is, "but I'm allowed to be nervous. Intensive farming is a big step." True, but at least the sausage deliveries will be fresher.
Downstairs, Anna uncertainly offers Bates a penny for his thoughts and he replies, "You'd pay twice that not to know them." It's weird for him to talk directly to me like that, but he's right! After some inconsequential discussion of brooding, Anna walks on into the kitchen, where Daisy offers to let Alfred watch her prepare some fish sauce. He declines, however, and leaves with his head hanging, whereupon Ivy notes that his heart isn't in cooking anymore. Mrs. Patmore, however, thinks he just needs time to get his head back on straight, and then Daisy shoots Ivy a look that perhaps doesn't get all the way to "filthy" but is still a solid harbinger of things to come.
Rose comes in to Cora's room to tell her she's settled the surprise for Lord Grantham's birthday and Cora's like, I can only give you a general thumbs-up because you won't tell me what it is… but yay? And I know Rose is kind of a useless bubblehead most of the time, but I have to give her credit for something almost no one else on this show has figured out, which is that the best way to keep a secret from getting out is NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT. She does, however, inform Cora that she needs one below-stairs co-conspirator, so Cora points her in Mrs. Hughes's direction -- just as Baxter enters. Rose smiles that that's perfect since Mrs. Hughes is the best one to "deal with it" anyway, and it's too bad Baxter's hands are full carrying Cora's breakfast tray because you know she's dying to take notes.
At the Dowager Countess's, Spratt comes in with the second post, whereupon the Dowager Countess -- looking most displeased -- tells Spratt about a little ivory carving of a fisherman, which is apparently quite valuable, having gone missing from her desk. Spratt knows the one she means but denies having touched it, so the Dowager Countess asks who else has been in the room in the last day. Spratt tells her the maids of course were, plus young Pegg, although "Betty" was with him. He admits, though, that Betty had her own work to do and as such wasn't keeping a close eye on Pegg the whole time, and the Dowager Countess thanks him with a "that settles that" air. But will you can him yourself, milady, or will you delegate the privilege?
It's raining outside as Branson and Mary emerge from a barn; Branson cautions her they have to get the sums right for their new endeavor and Mary quotes (probably), "We must speculate to accumulate." Branson jokingly guesses that's her American half coming to the surface, which prompts Mary to ask if Branson's really going to go and leave them. He promises that he won't until the pig business is up and running, and she ruefully replies that they can give him plenty of introductions such as "Grandmama and Uncle Harold." As I recall, said Grandmama met Branson and was quite fond of him -- she was taken with his journalist status -- so he's already got a foot in the door there. Upon the mention of Harold, Branson tells Mary about the letter Lord Grantham received, and Mary thinks it's probably nothing (it likely only "means a yacht's gone aground") but Branson cautions her it sounded far more serious than that. There's not much else to discuss in the abstract, though, so Branson goes to get the car. Shouldn't Mary be driving by now if you're going to leave her to patrol the grounds herself?
Downstairs, Thomas -- whose face is looking more and more like that of Ralph Fiennes as Voldemort for some reason -- asks Baxter if she has anything to report, so she matter-of-factly tells him about Rose having a secret she wants Mrs. Hughes to keep, correctly adding that it's likely nothing of importance before heading back upstairs. Thomas, not everything Baxter hears is going to be of consequence even when it doesn't concern Rose.
Isobel barks, "You were dismissed?" Back up, everyone… she's gonna blow! Pegg explains that the head gardener simply told him he wasn't needed anymore, and -- remember no one told him about the missing items -- he doesn't understand it, since he was proving to have a bit of a green thumb. Isobel can barely contain her self-righteous, quivering rage as she promises Pegg she'll see if she can get to the bottom of it; she then sees him out as he thanks "your Ladyship," to which she's literally like "I'mnotyourLadyshipnevermind." Ha!
Downstairs, Mrs. Hughes is like, "A band!" Once again, Rose shows she grasps the concept of secret-keeping better than most when she shushes Mrs. Hughes and closes the door; she then goes on that they'll get the carpets rolled up and everything set during dinner so when Lord Grantham walks out of the dining room, all will be ready. Mrs. Hughes wonders if that means she has to hide the band members until the moment, but Rose is like, well, you don't literally have to stuff them in a closet; Lord Grantham won't come below stairs, so you can simply entertain them until it's time. Mrs. Hughes is like check, food and beds for six and Cora totally knows about it, right? Rose admits that Cora only gave sort of blank-check permission, but that's good enough for Mrs. Hughes, and Rose thanks her before the two of them emerge from the office and Rose heads upstairs. Thomas then wanders over (he TOTALLY would have listened in if not for Rose's sensible precautions) and fishes for information, but of course Mrs. Hughes takes great pleasure in stringing him along without actually telling him anything. Thomas, you got Baxter for a reason; let her do her job and stay out of anything that requires interaction with other people.
At the Dowager Countess's, she tells Isobel that two valuable possessions have gone missing since she took Pegg on so… what is she to do? Isobel's like, these are just things, and Isobel, you know you're one of my very favorites but I have to agree with the Dowager Countess when she says that she doesn't understand your position. You can't be saying that if Pegg actually took the things he shouldn't be dismissed, can you? Isobel raves about justice and whatever and I still don't know what she's on about, not that the Dowager Countess makes much more sense when she wonders why Isobel doesn't set fire to the Abbey and dance around it. Fortunately, their nonsensical argument is interrupted by the entrance of Spratt, who comes in with the Japanese ivory figurine on a tray -- it was found in "Betty's" cleaning bucket, apparently having accidentally rolled in there. The Dowager Countess obviously would have preferred this to happen without Isobel there to bear accusing witness, but she still won't back down and after some retread of her never being wrong (it was funnier when you said that to your son, milady), she firmly asserts that Pegg still took the letter opener, and the subject is closed. She then rings for Isobel to be shown out, which is just as well since the way Isobel's gaping like a large-mouthed bass makes it seem she could do with a bit of fresh air.
Cora catches Edith, who's just gotten off the telephone looking hopelessly distraught, and she tells her mother that Gregson seems to have vanished into thin air. I guess I never explicitly mentioned it, but just in case, Munich in 1922 marked the beginning of the rise of Hitler, so I think it's fair to say it's not turning out to be the best timing for someone to emigrate from the UK. Cora's sure that if anything had happened to him, they would have heard, but even though Edith surely thinks that's naïve, for the moment she lets it go and consents to go change for dinner. This poor girl is never going to be happy, is she?
Downstairs, via the last post, Alfred gets another letter from the Ritz -- a candidate ahead of him accepted another job and since he was No. 5 (a fact he takes great relish in pointing out to Jimmy James), he's in. Everyone congratulates Alfred save Daisy, who looks at him like he just sprouted a second not-very-bright head, and when Mrs. Patmore asks when he'll go, he tells her as soon as Carson will let him since he's already behind in the course. Carson tells him he can go the day, just so they have time to tell the family, and then Jimmy James rather cruelly asks the fly-catching Daisy if she's going to congratulate him. Mrs. Patmore, however, mercifully allows Daisy not to answer by sending her into the kitchen on an errand, and good Lord, girl, HE'S JUST NOT INTO YOU. Baxter and Anna both offer to get any clothes clean Alfred might need, and then Jimmy James gives Alfred a disparaging word and Carson essentially calls Jimmy James stupid to his face. This downstairs has gotten so tiresome; I really miss O'Brien.
Ivy goes to give Daisy a bit of consoling and gets her head taken off; basically what Daisy's saying is that since Ivy wanted Jimmy James and not Alfred, that made Alfred leave, when (a) I can't imagine seeing Ivy and Alfred together would have been any better for her and (b) HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW. Mrs. Patmore thankfully comes in to break this up, but Daisy still sobs into her rag. God, grow up already. It's been ten years since you were a green assistant!
Lord Grantham enters the sitting room post-dinner and Cora tells him she thought he'd missed the last train, but he replies that he just made it. Edith notes he wasn't in London long, and Lord Grantham says he only needed to sign some papers for a trust that "Billy Sheffield" set up for his son. I don't believe we've ever met this Sheffield, so let's move on to Cora telling Lord Grantham about Alfred's news; the family gives him words of encouragement, at which point Alfred screws up his courage and tells Lord Grantham how grateful he is for the treatment he's received at the Abbey and how much of a "kind… and wonderful teacher" Carson has been. Into the ensuing silence, Lord Grantham wryly notes that any more of this and they'll all start crying, and loath to see that happen, Carson gently clears Alfred out of there. Lord Grantham then asks how his birthday dinner is coming along and Rose is aghast that he knows about it, but it turns out a couple idiots didn't follow the instructions of secrecy and blew up the family's spot. Lord Grantham generously says it won't spoil it for him if there's no surprise, but when Rose tells him there might just be one anyway, he replies, "So I should hope." Heh.
Downstairs, Jimmy James and Ivy are making plans to see The Sheik, and Mrs. Patmore approves of anything with Rudolph Valentino: "He makes me shiver all over." Carson: "What a very disturbing thought." Rude! He'd say that to anyone, though. Anna uses the idea to suggest to Bates that they go on a date, and he agrees that it's been far too long since they last dined out. Elsewhere, Mrs. Hughes wonders if Carson will offer Alfred's job to Molesley, but Carson is like, screw that idiot, adding that Alfred gave thanks that night for the courtesy and kindness he received at Downton, so it seems only fair to hire someone as his replacement with similar enthusiasm. Mrs. Patmore weakly starts in about how Molesley has had a lot to put up with, but Carson is like, who hasn't? Even though he's eventually going to give in, I can't say I disagree with a lot of what he's saying, but mostly I'm enjoying this for the faces of restrained amusement Baxter is letting loose through this speech. She is kind of a breath of fresh air, even if I don't quite know her game yet.
Speaking of Baxter, sometime later Thomas tells her he wouldn't be surprised if they were preparing to lay some people off, but Baxter sensibly wonders how on Earth Rose would be involved with that plan. I'd add that they probably wouldn't be looking to replace Alfred if big layoffs were happening, but Thomas the puppet master has been completely taken in my Mrs. Hughes's little verbal games and orders Baxter to find out more.
Back at their cottage, Bates lights an oil lamp as Anna somewhat tentatively offers that she'll book somewhere special for the night. His response isn't overly enthusiastic, so she sits and tells him she knows things can't be the same, but she'd like to make some new memories "so it's not as if all our happiness was before." He tries to tell her he's happy whenever he looks at her, but she doesn't believe him and breaks down in tears. My problem with this storyline isn't the initial event, but the fact that she thinks she's failed him because he's so perfect, because he ain't. I feel bad for her, but that element makes it much less identifiable. Bates tries to say she's right and that they should have an evening during which they don't think about it, and given that last episode he went on about how her suffering only made her more attractive to him (which honestly wasn't great), you'd think he could manage this at least. She takes his hand and thanks him like he's doing her this great favor, which again: Bleah.
Cora -- sounding as disparaging as she gets -- says she'll dress before the gong, since she has a committee meeting and then "we're all dining together in some frightful hotel." It's kind of sadly hilarious that it's also the site of Bates and Anna's fancy date, but since that'll also turn out to be frightful they might as well not take offense. Baxter asks what Cora would like to wear, and Cora sighs that she'll have to make it look like she made an effort, so Baxter translates: "Elegant, but sensible." I wish we hadn't wasted four whole episodes on stupid Edna.
Oh, look, it's time for Alfred to head off. People say their goodbyes and when Ivy tells him she knows he'll get what he wants, he replies that he doesn't always and OH MY GOD LET IT GO. Even Baxter makes it back down to say goodbye, and then Thomas inexplicably tells Alfred not to do anything he wouldn't do… or it'd be inexplicable if it weren't setting Mrs. Patmore up to reply "That gives you a bit of leeway." Hee. The car is ready, but Alfred makes a point of going to say goodbye to Daisy; at first she won't look up from what she's doing and is all kthanxbai, but he doesn't back down as he tells her he's sorry to have hurt her and that she'll make some other man very happy someday. He starts to leave, but she chooses finally to take Mrs. Patmore's advice and end it on a positive note as she wishes him good luck, saying he works hard and he knows what he wants. He tells her how much that means to him before Carson collects him and I don't begrudge this scene at all, but I wonder why I had to reach middle age to get here.
As a car containing "the Dowager Countess" (pretty sure it's a stand-in, possibly even a very well-dressed scarecrow) drives out, the Musical Cue Of Wacky Downton Hijinks kicks up as Isobel appears from behind the gate. Cut to Spratt opening the door and looking surprised to see Isobel, as his mistress has gone out and won't return for some time. Isobel's like oh, how terrible, I completely did not know that so I'll just feign a bad step and pretend to be dizzy, and how can you not invite me in to sit down? He can't, of course, and once he's shown Isobel into the sitting room and withdraws, she starts poking around -- and eventually finds the letter opener down between one of the chair's seat cushions. She literally is like "Eureka!" before ringing for Spratt and telling him she's feeling much better. And oh, by the way, would he tell the Dowager Countess she found the letter opener down the chair? He replies that she'll be very pleased, but Isobel sniffs that she hopes so. "I'm not certain that she will, but I hope so." It's never explicitly addressed, but I suppose we're meant to understand that both items were honestly mislaid. If that happened twice in the short period of Pegg's employment, though, how is it half of the Dowager Countess's bric-a-brac hasn't vanished over the years?
Oh God, here's Molesley again, come to see Carson after happening to catch Alfred heading off to London. You know this game, right? Molesley: "Pleeeeeeeeeease?" Carson: "No." I mean, okay, Carson tells him that Molesley's not enthusiastic about being a footman and he doesn't want to him to compromise his pride, but that is all it comes down to in the end.
Here's Isobel returning to see the Dowager Countess with Clarkson in tow. Clarkson, who doesn't much look like he wants to be there, notes that she's already changed for dinner and wonders if they shouldn't return the day, but the Dowager Countess tells him that her curiosity is now piqued. Isobel, having exerted supreme effort just to keep this in for ten seconds, now lets fly about how Pegg obviously couldn't have taken the thing and whatever, and the Dowager Countess rings the bell as she's like oh do go on. Isobel does in fact prattle on about injustice and the damage the Dowager Countess does to the point where Clarkson tries to rein her in and give the Dowager Countess a chance to reply… and then Spratt enters and the Dowager Countess asks if Pegg's brought the vegetables in yet. Ha! When told that the answer is yes, the Dowager Countess requests that he be brought in for a moment, after which Isobel's like "How? What? How?" The Dowager Countess leaves it to Pegg to tell Isobel that the DC sent for him and apologized for her assumption that he was a thief, "She gave me my job back, said she was sorry and asked if I could forgive her." Aw! The Dowager Countess warmly dismisses Pegg, whereupon Clarkson and the DC regard Isobel expectantly; when she can't really come up with anything, Clarkson intones, "I'd say that was game, set, and match to [the Dowager Countess]." Hee. There's trying to turn a defeat into a victory and then there's actually doing it.
If Mary shares her mother's disdain for that particular hotel she does a good job of hiding it as she repeats "The Netherby" in an impressed tone of voice. She tells Anna not to hurry back -- "it won't kill me to get myself to bed" -- before confiding that Napier and Blake will be there in time for dinner on Lord Grantham's birthday. "Rather a baptism of fire." Anna asks how long they'll be staying, and Mary admits that it's open-ended, "which Granny would never approve of." Lucky thing she's going to have a jazz party to jump the queue for her disapproval.
A maitre d' who manages to come off as both sour and oily tells a livid Bates and Anna that he doesn't seem to have their names; the obvious implication is that he's deduced from their appearance that they're servants and as such is rescinding their reservation. He smugly goes on that they're quite busy, as Cora has a large party with her -- but this backfires when the mention of her name summons her from within like a lovely genie. She's delighted to see Bates and Anna, of course, and when Bates with the right amount of pointedness tells her about the "mix-up" with the table, Cora's smile doesn't break as she turns to the maitre d' and supposes it can be sorted out. His attitude does a 180 as he goes off to do what needs to be done, after which Cora conspiratorially notes that she seems to have made a difference. "Thank God he's a snob." Hee. Anna starts to apologize for having dragged Cora into it, but she tells them it's no big and when the maitre d' returns, she says she'd love to join them but she'd better get back. When she's gone, the maitre d' shows Bates and Anna to a table and deferentially assures them there will be no more "little hiccups," and as much of a toad as he may be it's nice that when he eats shit he doesn't leave any on the plate.
After dinner, Carson finds Edith and gives her a letter that came in the evening post and was overlooked. When she opens it, she sees a typewritten note from her doctor telling her that her "signs and symptoms are consistent with those of the first trimester of pregnancy," LIKE WE NEEDED YOU TO TELL US THAT. Lord Grantham, who probably lingered wondering if this was news about Gregson, asks if anything's wrong, but she tells him no. Geez, even Edith's brave face needs a brave face.
Oh, now Molesley's come to interrupt Mrs. Hughes and Patmore's hangout session to ask if Carson might have changed his mind. When Mrs. Hughes tells him obviously not, Molesley wonders why Carson doesn't value him having been cautious about accepting the position before despairingly wondering if he's stuck mending roads now, but Mrs. Hughes tells him not to give up and has him take a seat while she goes to get some more hot water. I don't think this tea club really needs Molesley, but I can't deny it's likely at least to do him some good.
Coming back from the film, Jimmy James and Ivy have a seat on a bench to admire the full moon, and after some awkward and uninspiring talk about the movie and romance, Jimmy James pulls her in for a kiss, which is fine at first; however, when his hand attempts to go somewhere it shouldn't, she jumps up like she's been burned. He says a bunch of stuff that basically amounts to "stop being such a tease, you owe me" -- it's possibly a degree or two less explicit than that -- but she's unimpressed and rushes back toward the house alone. Good, because I couldn't handle another Anna-esque situation.
Speaking of, Bates tries a toast to the two of them, and whether he's faking or not he seems pretty bright about it, but there's no answering smile from Anna as she tells him she was a fool to think they could "leave it behind." He admits that he still wants to murder whoever did that to her, but she tells him her identity can't be wrapped up in it and "the worst part is that you see me as a victim." He tries to argue that he sees her as someone he failed to protect, which doesn't sound that far away from what she said, but they don't get to examine that split hair, as Cora approaches and offers them a lift home. Anna doesn't want to impose, but Cora waves the thought away before adding that leaving with her "should mean you get a table here for the rest of your life." If she were anything but lovely, the words might grate, but they don't at all -- not to mention the fact that they're essentially proven right when the maitre d' appears and trips over himself going to get their coats when he hears they're exiting together. While they wait, Cora asks if they had a good evening, but Bates's response is hesitant and Anna's is pinched, so although Cora keeps smiling like it's her job, the appraising eye she gives them suggests she notices.
Back in the kitchen, Mrs. Hughes is getting the facts from Ivy, and when Ivy tells her that Jimmy James "asked for things no man should want before they're married," Mrs. Patmore sighs that women are a bit clearer about that than men. Ivy wonders if Jimmy James has been nice to her just to get in her knickers and then makes the mistake of adding that Alfred would never have done anything like that, so Daisy pounces: "You break Alfred's heart, so now he's alone in a city that terrifies him. You break my heart by drivin' him away. I don't care about your good opinion of Alfred! If you'd discovered it earlier, you'd have spared us a lot of grief." She marches off, and when Ivy wonders what that was about, Mrs. Hughes sniffs, "Ohhh, I'd say it was about the fact you had it coming!" I… guess? Honestly to me Daisy and Ivy are like Alien vs. Predator; whoever wins, we lose.
Upstairs, Mary notes that it was nice of Cora to give Bates and Anna a lift -- and I guess this means that Mary is indeed putting herself to bed -- and Cora says it was her pleasure, "but I'm afraid things have gone wrong between those two." Baxter listens intently as Cora goes on that Anna's been hurt somehow and Bates feels that he should have protected her. She then explicitly tells Baxter not to speak of it to anyone, but as we know she obeys a different master, at least for the moment.
Edith is in tears in the library when her father enters and asks "my most darling girl" what's wrong. She takes issue with his claim that he loves his children equally, but he's not offended, asking instead if she'd like him to get involved in locating Gregson. Edith, however, tells him it's no use -- his office has been in contact with the German police and even engaged a private detective, all to no avail. She goes on the not knowing is killing her and she'd even rather get news of his death, which I'm sure he'd be thrilled to hear. She adds that it's "just so impossible to plan in this fog," but her father doesn't catch the admittedly veiled reference to her delicate condition and holds her hand consolingly. It's not going to help much, but I think she appreciates it regardless.
Thomas is like, but how was Anna hurt and I cannot at all blame Baxter for feeling like he's trying her patience. If she knew, she'd have told you! Baxter informs him she's not actually that fond of telling tales, and he wonders what's changed, since she knew the conditions when she took the job, so Baxter confesses that she thinks Cora is polite and considerate. "I don't feel she's deserved it." O'Brien came to think so too, if by a much more drastic route. Also, the word "deserved" is chosen carefully enough that I wonder if there's a tie to why Baxter is there in the first place, but whatever the case, Thomas replies that she's going to have to decide to whom she's first loyal, and Baxter reproachfully tells him to have it his own way. Just because she may not be ready to turn on him just yet doesn't mean it's not going to happen, I'd wager. That's pretty fast work alienating your only ally, Thomas, and one who's mysteriously indebted to you to boot!
Ah, here are Napier and the young and handsome Blake, so I guess it's Lord Grantham's birthday at last. Inside, Napier tells Cora and Mary how kind they are to have them, but he has to prod Blake to agree and when Mary offers that they want to do their bit, he challenges her on what he means. She explains that she thought they were there to advise the landowners and to try to save the estates that need it, but Blake is like, yeah not quite -- the government wants us to study the situation and determine whether there's a fundamental societal shift going on and what the larger ramifications will be, such as if food production will be affected. Mary's like, so you care about food supply but not the owners; undaunted, he replies, "If that's how you want to put it." Blake, maybe you shouldn't unpack too quickly? As Edith and Rose appear, they get into it a bit further (Mary thinks it's callous; Blake suggests that feeding the population instead of worrying about the aristocracy is humanitarian enough, thanks) before Napier pipes up that they may be disappointing guests if they're expected to stay up until all hours being witty, to which Mary replies, "Don't worry, I don't expect Mr. Blake to be witty." Before the slap fight can start, though, Lord Grantham appears, at which point the party is mentioned again. Mary: "So you must try to be witty tonight, Mr. Blake! After that we'll lower our expectations." Blake declines to reply, which suggests he's got to work on his material.
Molesley uncertainly appears downstairs in front of everyone eating and tells an unamused (even for him) Carson that Mrs. Hughes and Patmore asked if he wouldn't serve tea to the servants, since everyone will be so busy with the party. Even a blind infant could see what this is all about, but when an apron-clad Molesley actually starts pouring tea, Carson can take no more: "I cannot fight a war on every front." He tells Molesley he's the new footman, effective immediately, "and don't forget the gloves!" Even if it's a tiny victory in context, it's important to get the last word. Rose then comes down and after everyone's on their feet, she starts by saying that Mrs. Hughes may have told them (Mrs. Hughes, avoiding Carson's basilisk stare: "I haven't, yet"), but as a surprise for Lord Grantham, a London band is coming to play after dinner. The younger downstairs folk are intrigued, but Rose cautions them that even Cora doesn't know about it, so they must all keep the secret and please make them comfortable. Carson takes it all in good enough stride -- until he sees Jack Ross, at which point we should note that if they run out of plates they can serve dinner on his eyes. Rose looks around warily at the servants (some of whom we'll be on safe ground deducing have never seen anyone with skin darker than "alabaster") before shaking Ross's hand and welcoming him to Downton. Hey Carson, at least he's not Australian, right?
Mary and Branson are back in the nursery when Isobel pops in and says she thought she'd come say hi to her grandson before the party nonsense starts. Mary dryly says she was going to feed George, but now Isobel can do it (presumably this is one of the periods in history when breast-feeding was frowned upon, although Mary isn't exactly built for it anyway). Isobel sits as she says she thought she could be "Grandmama" where George is concerned and Cora could be "Granny," and Cora is young for the part by today's standards, isn't she? Isobel then brings up Lord Gillingham's engagement, essentially offering that she hopes Mary didn't dissuade him out of concern for Isobel's feelings or Matthew's memory, but Mary assures her that while she's not unhappy, she's "just not quite ready to be happy." Isobel, whom I don't believe has really ever opened up about her husband before, recalls bittersweetly that when she got engaged to "Reginald," she was so in love it overwhelmed her, and it's still hard to think about now. Branson and Mary -- in similar sad and dreamy tones -- recall feeling the same way, with Mary going into detail about the proposal in the snow that ended Season 2: She wasn't cold because all she kept thinking was "He's going to propose! He's going to propose!" Aww. They all smile so as not to burst into tears, and then Isobel, in reference to the great love they all knew, smiles that they're the lucky ones. Best scene of the episode; it's completely unnecessary from a plot standpoint but so nice to check in for a beautiful-but-not-mawkish character beat every once in a while. The nanny then brings the kids in, and thankfully, their parents and grandmamas hold it together.
Downstairs, Carson asks Ross if he's never thought of visiting Africa, and I suppose Ross doesn't need me to take care of him as he politely replies that he doesn't see the need: "I'm no more African than you. Well, not much more." He goes on that his people came over in the 1790s, adding that "we won't go into why or how," and when Carson co-signs that, Mrs. Hughes wryly notes that Ross just achieved the difficult feat of finding something about the past that Carson isn't proud of. Carson, however, chooses to engage on the issue after all, referencing Lord Henley's decision of 1763 as evidence of the UK's progressive record in abolishing slavery. The point could well be argued, of course, but Mrs. Hughes settles for admonishing him not to undo Ross's good work, and further discussion is precluded by one of the musicians warming up on his trumpet. Jimmy James tries to apologize to Ivy and gets a stony gaze in reply, and then Rose comes down all dressed for dinner to check in. Mrs. Hughes reports that the musicians have already been fed, as they'll be playing when the servants are eating, so Rose reminds Ross to wait until the dinner guests are securely seated to set up. With that, she runs back upstairs and I'd wonder if Rose didn't have a future in party planning if not for all the jazz.
At dinner, Mary has apparently been talking about the Downton farming plans as she says she can't help feeling sorry for the pigs, but Blake calls her out by asking if she eats pork products; when the answer's yes, he labels her "a sentimentalist who cannot face the truth." Once again, however, Mary's conversational skills serve her well: "I'm not often called 'sentimental'." Hee. Across the table, Cora notes to Napier that "your friend seems to be putting Mary through her paces," and Napier sighs that Blake feels challenged by anyone with a sense of entitlement, while the Dowager Countess happily greets Molesley, who supposes he ought to be called "Joseph" as befits his new position. The Dowager Countess: "I don't think I could manage that." Ha! Lord Grantham agrees and asks Carson if he minds if they stick to the surname, and Carson is like, oh of course not while staring THIS IS HOW IT STARTS daggers in Molesley's direction.
Branson admits to Isobel that he loves the Crawleys, but he's not one of them and can't make a life there; she obviously disagrees, but restrains herself from getting too deeply into it, although she's surely deeply invested in him because of his (a) outside status and (b) strong friendship with her dead son. Lord Grantham whispers to his mother how pleased he is that Isobel is coming back to herself, but the Dowager Countess is like, it's not all great: "Part of her recovery is going back into battle. Some people run on greed, lust, even love. She runs on indignation." That's absolutely true and you love it, lady. Cora then stands and suggests the ladies go through, but Rose belays that -- they're not splitting this evening! She runs into the hall and gives the band their cue, and once they start playing she rushes back in and wishes "Cousin Robert" a happy birthday. He looks delighted, and although his face gets a bit puzzled when he sees Ross (that could well be due to his awful voice), when Edith wonders if it all isn't a bit odd, he pipes up that it's not: "I think it's fun."
He takes Cora -- who never looked anything but into it -- onto the dance floor, and when Edith wonders if it's "suitable" for Rose to have brought Ross there, the Dowager Countess stands with her son in echoing how nobility should act: "We country-dwellers must beware of being provincial. Try to let your time in London rub off on you a little more." Her open-mindedness is even more impressive given how much she'll be revealed to despise jazz. Also, NOT GREAT Edith, but you are having a tough episode. After some more pointed words with Blake, Mary tells Napier he seems to have brought a traitor into their midst, and while he won't quite sign off on that, when she amends it to "an enemy" he has no quick response. Isobel dances with Branson as she points out that what's going on around them is evidence that Downton has progressed: "Take heart from that before you throw in the towel." Napier sits with the Dowager Countess and asks how she likes the jazz, and she replies, "Do you think any of them know what the others are playing?" Hee. Napier's a pretty good straight man, I have to say.
With the kitchen staff all gathered round the stairs listening to the music much like in Gosford Park, Carson arrives downstairs in response to a summons from Mrs. Hughes, who tells him they've made sandwiches for him and the others working the dance floor. After some pointed discussion of whether Ross is nice (he is!), Carson heads back up and apparently Napier got the Dowager Countess out on the floor, but when a song ends, she's like, "I think we've done enough now. You know, to show that we're good sports." Hee. Mary loves the party but guesses it must have cost Rose a fortune, so Lord Grantham asks her to get the bandleader to send him the bill. Blake (and the actor, Julian Ovenden, was on a few episodes of Smash, not that I could have told you that without looking him up) tells Napier he doesn't share his affinity for Mary, since she's such the entitled type, unwilling to work or fight for her lot in life. Since she engaged in a pig-farming discussion with you, Blake, I don't quite see how you make that out, but there will be time enough for his disdain to turn to something else as it always seems to on this show, I'm sure. Napier settles for telling Blake that his negative feelings toward Mary are mutually felt, while Cora finds Edith once again looking distraught, but Edith won't tell her anything and rushes off. I feel for you, girl, but the clock is ticking. Give yourself a deadline to make a plan here.
Upstairs, Lord Grantham crows that this was one surprise that really was a surprise, and Cora hilariously hopes that they didn't shock the servants too much. After they both hope Gregson will resurface soon, Lord Grantham asks if she read the letter from Harold, and not only has she, she also got one from her mother: "I think he's in a deep hole. Have we ever met this Senator Fall?" Lord Grantham doesn't suppose so, and when Cora sighs that he might be innocent as nothing's been proved, Lord Grantham intones that Harold was a fool to get involved and OH MY GOD HOW CAN HE SAY THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE.
As promised, Mary steps downstairs to settle the question of the bill… and sees Rose and Ross canoodling. She pauses in shock, as well you might expect, before turning her face in another direction and calling out to ask if anyone's still awake. Rose breaks from Ross and comes to greet her, and when Mary says she was looking for Ross, he steps out from behind her, like reeeeal subtle, you two. Mary smoothly thanks him for his great work and relays Lord Grantham's request for the bill, and when Rose guiltily says that isn't necessary, Mary assures her he wants to. A tone creeps into her voice as she adds, "Your present was arranging the whole thing," and although Ross speaks with equanimity, Rose looks caught, and even Mary can't hide a facial element of "I know what's going on," not that she necessarily wants to. She deliberately heads back upstairs, Rose and Ross exchange a worried look -- and we're out. time: The Dowager Countess is taken ill! Oh NOOOOOO!
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His new film, a documentary on online privacy and the exploitation of personal data called Terms And Conditions May Apply, a New York Times Critics' Pick, is now on iTunes here. You can get news on it from the film's Twitter accountor website, or check out trackoff.us to learn how to protect your privacy. Also, you can email John at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.