Stick a Fork In Him

S06E07

In many ways, this is a placeholder episode, yet after last week's embarrassment, it's possible it's the most strongly-written of the season; there's no better evidence for this theory than the fact that Quinn apologizes for his behavior, and he and Deb have a conversation that's actually both mature and bearable and THANK GOD that relationship appears finally to be completely over.

Colin Hanks is spending time with his sister, and tells EJO that he wants nothing more to do with him, so EJO seethes that he'll carry on God's work for the both of them. Meanwhile, the girl from last week turns up to the police and, while she doesn't explicitly say she only heard one person there, does say that she "heard" from Colin Hanks that "the Professor" referred to her as "the Whore," like CAN WE STOP DRAGGING THIS EJO IDIOCY OUT NOW PLEASE. Oh, and also, "they" made her drink what we know to be Colin Hanks's blood, which is just fantastic. EJO seems to let Colin Hanks go, and I'm sure we all believe that will stick, what with him being a figment of his imagination.

Brian is apparently the new, or at least the temporary, Harry, as you might have expected, but while he talks even more than Harry does, he's at least a bit more fun. Under his tutelage, Dexter screws some jailbait at a convenience store and then steals her gun so he and Brian can have some fun shooting stop signs and other stuff over which dead/alive brothers enjoy bonding. But did I mention the part where he never shuts up?

Deb tells Dexter that Trinity is back and has killed his wife and daughter. Knowing that's impossible and hearing that Jonah, Trinity's son, conveniently "survived the attack," Dexter feigns emotional turmoil at the news so he has an excuse to take some time off work and track Jonah down, but he is sincerely distressed by the idea that Jonah, who loved his mother and sister, becoming a killer might bode badly for his own son's development.

He tracks down Jonah in Nebraska, who hilariously greets him with "Hello, Dexter Morgan," and Jonah informs him that after the news coverage of Rita's death, he and his family knew that "Kyle Butler" and Dexter were one and the same, but since he had obviously tried to help them, they kept their mouths shut to the FBI. However, Jonah lies through his teeth about his father; we'll ignore the part where some pot-growing motel owner inconveniences Dexter and focus on the part where he shows up Jonah's lies and then most satisfyingly informs him that he killed his father. Also, after Dexter offs the inconveniencing pot-grower in a rather un-Code-like way, there is a most hilarious send-up of the painting "American Gothic" that will be sure to up the episode's grade by at least half a letter.

Jonah then calls Dexter for a meeting, and while Dexter thinks that Jonah means to kill him he still goes to meet him. It turns out, though, that Jonah wants Dexter to kill him, and things aren't what they seemed – his mother blamed the kids for Trinity's disappearance, as after everything he put her through, she was still in love with him, and the mental anguish proved so hard for Becca, the sister, that she killed herself. When Jonah found her body, he beat his mother to death, and for that, he feels he deserves to die. But even with Brian egging him on, Dexter won't do it, and banishes the memory of his brother from whence it came, allowing Harry back into his life in the process. You guys, Mos Def would be so proud! Well, except for the part where he killed that guy with a pitchfork.

As Dexter stands on his boat in daylight, DVO tells us that he's been lost before, when Rita died and when Lumen left, and first off, we jumped forth a year after Lumen left so it's hard for me to feel too broken up on Dexter's behalf about that one, and also I'm sure Rita who was DEXTER'S WIFE and who BLED TO DEATH IN A BATHTUB would be thrilled to know that Dexter is putting her right up there Lumen, who...was on Season Five.

Anyway, Brian, who's apparently the Dark Side stand-in for Harry, notes that Dexter doesn't seem thrilled about his kill, prompting Dexter to intone that "Brother Sam" (that's Mos Def, ICYDK) had hoped that he would forgive Nick instead of strangle-drowning him. As they dispose of Nick's body parts in those garbage bags of which we used to see so much more, Brian counters that "you don't turn the other cheek, you slice it," and I can forgive the misappropriation of that saying (given that Dexter does not slice his own cheeks) or the hammy delivery, but not both, especially considering he follows this up by saying that Brother Sam didn't know Dexter like "Brother Brian" does. I mentioned that I liked this actor, Christian Camargo, as Brian the Ice Truck Killer; I should have known that that would be irrelevant, as he isn't playing Brian so much as a scenery-chewing audience-winking devil you wish Dexter would flick off his shoulder, and when I said this episode was the most strongly-written of the season, it's almost completely in spite of the Brian parts, not because of them.

Dexter tells Brian he's glad he can stop pretending, and Brian whispers sweet nothings into his ear about how they can keep going, but before I can really start visualizing these two as the dead/alive brother version of Thelma and Louise, Dexter's phone rings, and it's Deb, who asks him to come to the station immediately, and by the way, there is a really silly directorial choice in having the camera show a close-up of Brian making faces while Dexter's on the phone, like, he's Dexter's projection; when Dexter isn't paying him any attention he shouldn't exist. I know the actor is physical; shoot around him. Similarly, Dexter feels the need to tell Brian that they'll "talk about this later," as if they're actually talking at all, but at least this results in Dexter driving off...

...into the scene, but not before we get an establishing shot of Miami Metro, like WHERE THE FUCK ELSE DO WE THINK HE'D GO, and also WHERE THE FUCK DO THEY THINK WE'D THINK DEB'S OFFICE IS LOCATED? Good shows don't do this; it's asinine.

By Couch Baron

Deb is clearly broken up as she struggles for a bit before telling Dexter the news -- Arthur Mitchell, the Trinity Killer, has struck again, as his wife and daughter have turned up dead. And while this is disturbing news, given that we know as well as Dexter does that Trinity did not have anything to do with this, the super-ominous music on the soundtrack seems a bit overdone. Also, in case you're one of the people who were only drawn into this show by the amazingly powerful Lumen season, Brian is here to inform you that Dexter killed Trinity. Deb tells Dexter that Jonah claimed to see his father shove his mother down the stairs (not exactly his M.O. on his Killings No. 2, but it's close enough, especially for a cop as bad as Deb). Arthur then apparently tried to bludgeon Jonah to death, but Jonah "fought him off," after which he went upstairs and found his sister dead in the tub. When Deb reveals the name of some town in Nebraska that's basically the Mitchell family's Cape Feare, Brian suggests a road trip, and Dexter's quick to cite emotional turmoil the news has caused over Rita (you remember her, she came right before Lumen?), so Deb tells him to take the day off. And however whiny she may get later in the episode, she is pretty clear on the length of time she's offering.

Colin Hanks is apparently staying with his sister now, who says she loves having him there, but "usually" when he comes to stay with her, there's some problem he needs her to hear. Colin Hanks makes a joke about how he needs help turning off the predictive text on his phone, as it "corrected" a message he wrote to his boss to read that he was going to "JizzFest." I...it's nice to see him lighten up, but the autocorrect wouldn't change "jazz" to "jizz," and I don't think God Boy has enough of a sense of humor to make that up himself. His sister, however, is unfazed, offering that maybe he'll get a promotion, and fine, I can accept that they have an easy relationship but if they're this close and he's sick enough to hallucinate EJO all the time you'd think she'd catch some inkling that he's not the same person she knew somewhere along the line.

Anyway, he wants her to take the whole day off, but she claims she has parent-teacher conferences, which "are a bitch to reschedule." Especially during the day when the parents ostensibly have jobs? Also, as soon as I found out he had a sister, I figured that Colin Hanks's ultimate crisis would be that "EJO" would order him to kill her, but the way she cavalierly tosses around words like "bitch" let us know her fate is sealed for sure. As if to drive home that point, when she leaves the room, Colin Hanks looks out the window and sees EJO standing there with an accusing glare on his face. Colin Hanks opens the side door and informs EJO that he's done with the whole deal, and when EJO scoffs and tries to enter, Colin Hanks closes the door on him. EJO ominously tells him that God's will doesn't stop because he wants to "play house" with his sister, and until he gets it together, he'll carry on His work for the both of them. Colin Hanks looks not at all pleased with this turn of events.

Dexter is looking at lovely photos of Rebecca Mitchell, whose femoral artery was slashed and subsequently bled out within minutes, while the mother was found at the bottom of the stairs, but that wasn't what killed her -- she was bludgeoned with a hockey stick. Maybe I misunderstood, but I didn't hear Deb say anything about her being bludgeoned, just pushed. Remember how careful Arthur was not to bludgeon the second victim we saw, how he talked her into jumping? Obviously Jonah could only work with what actually happened, but wouldn't Deb (or anyone else, like, say, the FBI) have noticed the difference in MO?

Dexter is off on a different point, that being that Jonah loved his mother and sister. Given that he apparently still ended up killing them, Dexter wonders whether he did so because the urge to kill is in his blood, and in turn wonders whether Harrison is fated to be like Dexter. Not a new worry, but a consistent one, and it's a strength of this episode that in taking a beat from the season's Big Bad, at least where Dexter is concerned, it manages to be more character-driven than most.

Brian babbles for a long time in telling us that Jonah did a good job of making the injuries look like they came from a man of Trinity's extreme height, although I admit it's hilarious when Dexter hesitates, wondering if Miami Metro might get to the DDK(s) before he does and Brian impatiently scoffs, "They're not even close!" Even if he has no idea what he's talking about, it's a pretty fair guess to make. Also, Brian opines, Dexter has been "domesticated," and if he thinks that now I'm glad he wasn't around to see Rita. He asks when was the last time Dexter had any fun, and rather than bring up random classroom sex with high-school alums, Dexter gets a sly grin on his face...

...and then he's packing to jaunty road-trip music. He thanks Jamie for coming over as he packs his knives, like he wouldn't have done that before she came over, and Jamie tells him this will work out better for her studies since she never gets anything done when Batista's around, and I'd kind of like to see Batista's reaction to the idea that an infant is less distracting than he is. Dexter is typically evasive about his plans with Jamie, saying he just needs to get away, but Jamie is pretty sure that he's broken up about Mos Def, which perhaps is not entirely untrue even at this point, so she doesn't belabor the point. Brian does make me laugh again when Dexter tells Harrison he loves him and he responds, "Really?" Dexter, however, is not getting bogged down in sentiment: "Let's go to Nebraska." It's too bad Dexter isn't ambitious enough to try for a kill in each of the fifty states. Nebraska would be a great one to cross off the list!

By Couch Baron

So! Road trip. Dexter seems to be having a good enough time with Brian, although he'd probably be doing even better if Brian were in a position to split up the driving. We hear him leave a message for Deb saying he's going to need some more time to get his head on straight, but he'll be back in four days, five tops, and adds that he hopes "that hearing thing" goes well. And with that most seamless of exposition dropped on us like Nick's severed head, we cut to...

...that hearing thing, where Deb, in full uniform, is twisting some departmental statistics so hard the sound designers must have worked overtime to edit out their cries of pain. (Also, she knows PowerPoint?) LaGuerta is no fan of this, and makes her displeasure plain...

...and then afterward, Deb joins her in front of the elevator and points out that six of her unsolved murders happened on LaGuerta's watch. LaGuerta isn't as obviously out to get Deb as usual, and merely tells her that it's her first such hearing as Captain, and as such she has a duty to make sure the numbers are accurate. Instead of getting her back up in response, Deb sighs that her numbers are lousy, and LaGuerta takes the opportunity to say that she doesn't know what happened with her and Quinn, but she lost a relationship because of her job, "and I take great comfort in the pure objectivity of numbers. At [that hearing thing] there's no age, no gender, no feelings. Improve your numbers and everything will change, I promise you." It's not the greatest speech, especially given that the relationship she mentioned ended in the year through which the show fast-forwarded, but it is nice to see LaGuerta offer some genuine advice and feelings of shared status rather than the puerile bitchery we've seen from her this season. Deb, however, takes this as an admonition to catch DDK, and sure, it's probably that too.

...and then, again, we see Brian shaking his head as he waits, although at least this look at him is funnier. Dexter then appears out of the back room, not seeming as smooth now that the deed is done, but maybe that's because he's focused on stealing the girl's gun, which if you're into any Freud at all strongly suggests that she's a size queen. Dexter doesn't forget to grab his nachos on the way out, but unless he works incredibly fast that cheese is going to be gross.

At night, Dexter shoots the gun off several times while driving. Take that, Stop Sign! Eat lead, Speed Limit! Brian urges Dexter to go faster, and he revs it up to a hundred, like, I know it's TV but SERIOUSLY, are you trying to bring the entire state's police down on you? Maybe it really is going to be like Thelma and Louise. I could live with it. Anyway, Brian and Dexter giggle at all the goofy firearms fun...

...and then they're in Kearny, Nebraska, home of silos and churchy radio. Dexter heads into the hardware store in which Jonah apparently works and, of course in slow motion, comes across the boy, who's demonstrating the use of a large, evil-looking hook to some customer. Well, how convenient. Jonah sees Dexter and approaches, looking a bit like the cat that ate the canary, and greets him: "Hello, Dexter Morgan." Of course, Jonah doesn't know about his father's iconic delivery of that line, but you'll remember that he previously only knew Dexter as Kyle Butler, so it makes sense that he'd make the same point in the same way. Which leaves me free to say this: HA! I wasn't expecting that, and neither, from the look on his face, was Dexter.

We cut to Jonah explaining that he and his family saw "Kyle Butler's" face all over the news in the wake of Rita's death. Dexter pointedly notes that no one told the FBI, and Jonah confirms that they discussed it, but given that he was obviously trying to help them, they kept his secret safe. Jonah still isn't sure why Dexter lied about his identity, and Dexter only bends the truth a little in saying that he suspected Arthur of being the Trinity Killer, and as such he wanted to protect his own family. "I wanted to be a hero; it was stupid, and selfish, and it's what got Rita killed." Jonah bitterly muses that his father ruined both their lives, prompting Dexter to ask what happened. Jonah "speculates" that his mother called his father asking for money, which made it easy for him to find them. Dexter asks for confirmation that Jonah saw his father, making sure it's not a miscommunication here, but Jonah says definitely yes -- he heard him first, fighting with his mother, and when Jonah came in, his dad looked at him before pushing his mother down the stairs. Jonah certainly has the weight of emotion behind his words, prompting Brian to give him a golf clap for the performance, but Dexter merely tells him he's sorry for his loss, a sentiment Jonah returns. He does ask, though, if Dexter came all the way out there just to tell him that, so Dexter takes a moment and lets some suitable emotion flow into his voice at their apparent shared experience and says he just wanted to see how he was holding up. Jonah says he'll be okay, and then stands and tells Dexter to go back to Miami. "It's over." You're not going to need much imagination to come up with Brian's answering line, so I won't bother telling you what it is.

Okay, we're at a police station in front of a harbor, and I'm only going to give you three guesses as to which one it might be. (In case it's not clear from the dripping sarcasm, yes, there is ANOTHER establishing shot here.) Batista tells Deb some uniforms took a statement from a woman at "St. Joseph's," who claimed someone called "the Professor" chained her up for a few days. This doesn't sound like a joking matter, but Deb can't resist asking, "Is her name Mary Ann or Ginger?" It's hard restraining yourself when you're the Dorothy Parker of your generation. Batista, thankfully not acknowledging that one, says her name is Holly...

...and we cut to the hospital (at least I think it is; there's no establishing shot! Help!) wherein the girl, whose arm is stitched up something horrible, tells them she was blindfolded the whole time, and while she says that "the younger guy" and "the weaker of the two" let her go, she also tells them that the same guy told her that the older guy called her "the Whore," like, again, STOP THIS NONSENSE ALREADY. It's a joke. Newborn babies, golden retrievers, and the smarter forms of lichen know the EJO we're seeing doesn't exist. CAN WE GET ON WITH OUR LIVES HERE. Anyway, Holly goes on that one of them, whom she guesses is the Professor based on the brutality, I suppose, would shove his knee into the back of her neck, hold her head so she couldn't close her mouth, and force her to drink some liquid while the younger guy apologized and apologized for her ordeal. And again, if you need further proof, there is no way EJO, if he actually existed, would allow Colin Hanks to apologize to the Whore without scolding him. She goes on that she thinks the liquid was blood (you'll remember all those packets in the church's refrigerator), prompting urgent and knowing looks between Batista and Deb...

...and then outside, Batista is saying that getting a sample of the blood now is a long shot, but they could still use Dexter; this leads to Deb's angst about her brother leaving and the revelation that Greene and Jamie are now dating. And hey, the latter thing I actually find kind of adorable!

Dexter ignores a call from Deb, prompting Brian to ask why Dexter even bothers with that relationship. Honestly, I've wondered that myself; it doesn't have all that much to do with her, but he never seems to feel near as strongly about her as the show seems to want us to believe. Any discussion on the subject, however is deferred by Dexter supposing they just hit a nail, and he pulls into a motel to discover that his left front tire is indeed flat. He heads inside...

...and soon he's signing for a room, paying the thirty-nine bucks in cash. The proprietor, who seems noncommittally curious, says he saw Dexter's Florida plates, and isn't surprised Dexter took off from there, given what's been going on in Miami. Normally I'd wonder about a story from there making it here to Bumblefuck, but apocalyptic stuff does tend to make its way around, I'd imagine. On the other hand, national coverage needs press people, and we haven't really seen any of those around that harbor police station whose name I can never remember. The guy asks what Dexter's doing in their neck of the woods, and taking his cue from a map on the wall, Dexter says he's following the Oregon Trail. Unconvinced, the guy asks what Dexter does in Florida, and he claims he's a landscaper, which is a fairly silly lie for reasons we'll soon discover.

Tired of the guy's questions, Dexter asks where he can get the tire fixed, but the guy offers to do it himself for twenty bucks. They shake on it, which is a mistake on Dexter's part, since the guy notes that he doesn't have a callous on his hand, and irrespective of the landscaping thing I find it hard to believe that Dexter's never, like, lifted weights before. Still, he's caught in a lie, so he tries to cover by saying he wears gloves when he works. The guy is still pretty clearly suspicious, but tells Dexter it won't take him too long to mend the tire, and the town isn't far away if he wants to get something to eat in the meantime...

...and then, as Dexter walks down the dirt road, we see the guy come out onto the porch and cast a watchful eye in his direction. Blissfully unaware, Dexter allows Brian to divert him into the cornfield past a "Private Property" sign, and soon they've discovered the reason for said sign -- he's growing a few pot plants. It's hard to get too excited about this development given that I know more than one person who could smoke that entire farm in one sitting, but I guess now that Dexter has discovered the Big Rural Secret, we're supposed to worry about his safety, or something.

Colin Hanks rides a bicycle (?) up to EJO's church with a wary look on his face, which is well-founded, as EJO is inside ripping the entrails out of several animals that look like deer. I'm not sure what's actually happening given that EJO doesn't exist, but I'm sure we'll have forgotten about this scene when they get to that big reveal thirty years from now.

Anderson, who appears to be the only one at Unnamed Police Station who can read the Bible and therefore the only one who can read, informs the chuckleheads that when the Whore of Babylon is revealed, she's sitting on a scarlet-colored beast having seven heads, which Quinn speculates is a dragon. Batista expresses worry at how the killer(s) will actually bring that to life in the tableau, and Anderson adds that the Whore is supposed to be "drunk with the blood of the saints." Batista wonders if that means the killer(s) consider themselves saints, and Quinn speculates that the younger one is probably a former student of Gellar. Batista runs some numbers and says Gellar taught approximately 2,400 males in his twelve years at Tallahassee, a number that makes Deb despondent. Deb, if you tried you could probably find many ways to exclude a bunch of those people and narrow the number down. But that's called POLICE WORK, and despite your promotion you seem to be averse to it lately. Greene, on the other hand, mutters to Masuka that that's not really that big a number, and he's got some ideas on how to pare it down, like, again, can we get rid of the old regulars and start from scratch? Between Anderson and Greene we could get going on building a department that's halfway competent. Actually, for the most part, I have little issue with Batista and even Quinn as far as their work goes, but man, has Deb become just the worst cop or what? At least I won't do her the dishonor of lumping her in with Masuka, who needs to die five seasons ago. Deb whines about Dexter again...

...so I'm glad to jump over to Greene and Jamie hanging out at Dexter's place. She coaxes him into showing her the not-even-beta version of his game, and we see a hilarious computer version of Batista, to her delight. They make googly eyes at each other, but then Deb barges in, even using her key, like, YOU DON'T LIVE THERE ANYMORE, SO HAVE SOME BOUNDARIES, WOMAN! Also, do some work, or maybe talk to your shrink about your creepy obsession with your brother! Jamie's not exactly ecstatic about the invasion of privacy, but answers Deb's questions as best she can until Deb gets the bright idea to call Dexter from his home phone...

...while Brian and Dexter are chatting, and again, I'm confused by the decision to have Brian eating, like, I don't think Dexter's unconscious would add this detail, but Brian's "Nebraska Is For Lovers" T-shirt does amuse me, so I suppose I'll shut up about it. Anyway, when the phone rings, Dexter obviously thinks it's Jamie and as such answers, but instead he gets Deb alternately bitching him out, informing him that they've made a breakthrough on DDK, and whining at him that she's his sister. Hilariously, he asks her to tell his Lieutenant that he'll be back as soon as he can, and then does the old "You're breaking up" trick before disconnecting. Kind of cold, but she has been annoying the piss out of me for the last few episodes, so I'm not going to stick up for her. Dexter, who during that conversation observed the motel guy return with his car, does tell Brian that they've got to take care of this Jonah thing now, so they get going, unaware of the motel guy walking out of the shadows nearby, like, he got out of the car and then hid in the trees just for that bit of theatricality?

When they get to the Mitchell home, Dexter tells Brian that he still doesn't know for sure that Jonah is guilty, which receives a beleaguered sigh from Brian and some questioning of Harry's code, and frankly, Dexter's been here before, so I'm not going to bother with Brian's tired argument when he's not even going to last beyond this episode, especially since Dexter soon has bigger fish to fry -- the motel guy took his knives and forensic kit. And I have to throw in another disclaimer about my contention that this episode is relatively well-written -- that is not to say that it is uniformly well-plotted, because no matter how footloose and fancy-free Dexter may seem to act with Brian, there is no way he would have left his knife collection, his forensic kit, and, as we'll soon learn, that enormous gun in the car when he could have just taken them into the hotel. No way, no day. Brian continues to alternate between annoying and amusing me, as when Dexter surreptitiously looks around as he prepares to break in, Brian calls to him, "It's the Midwest. Nobody locks their doors." Of course, they might be changing their habits now that they think a DOUBLE MURDER happened down the street, but I'll admit I still giggled. Dexter enters without the breaking...

By Couch Baron

Anyway, the guy pulls the ENORMOUS GUN on Dexter, and then they use Brian to cover up another glaring inconsistency, as first we see Brian pick up a pitchfork and stab the guy, but then we pan around his back and see Dexter's the one who did it. Of course, the fancy camerawork distracts from the fact that there's NO WAY IN HELL Dexter could have gotten the drop on the guy, particularly not with a weapon as unwieldy as that, and you can claim that what we're watching in regard to the Brian stuff isn't supposed to be an accurate representation of the show's reality anyway, but between this, Harry and EJO, I'm beyond tired of not being able to trust anything I'm seeing on screen. This show isn't nearly good enough to require effort. Anyway, Dexter does look evil enough as the guy regards him in horror with his dying breath, although again, being surprised that BLACKMAILING A GUY WHO CARRIES A HUGE GUN AND A MILLION KNIVES could end in tragedy seems a little naïve, to say the least, but we'll ignore that in getting to the best part of not just the episode but probably the entire season, as, still holding the pitchfork, Dexter backs up so that he and Brian are framed in front of a picture of the exact structure in the painting "American Gothic," made so much better by the fact that they don't call any particular attention to it. Bravo, show, you got me on that one. (The original is here, in case you're unfamiliar.)

Brian practically attends his own personal version of JizzFest, so excited is he at this idiot's death, and Dexter admits that he now feels like anything is possible, and after they take care of Jonah, "we keep going." I'm still wondering how they're going to catch up with Jonah, given the now-huge head start and the fact they have no idea where he went, but hey, he did say anything is possible.

Oh, but first, Dexter has to dump the guy into a silo full of corn. Even in Bumblefuck, that's got to violate some sort of health code.

At his apartment, Colin Hanks finds a photo from his graduation of him and EJO. After consideration, he stuffs it into a traveling bag, along with some of his books...

...and then he turns up to the church to tell EJO he doesn't want those things of his anymore. EJO conversationally notes that Colin Hanks could have dumped them in the trash, but says that if Colin Hanks wants him to beg, so be it -- and then offers, without looking up, "Please, [Colin Hanks], come back to me," in the most flat monotone possible. See, even EJO is making me laugh in this episode. Colin Hanks is unamused, but EJO won't let him go without citing some terrible stories that have happened in the news recently, adding that they're evidence of why the world has to end. Colin Hanks snaps and yells at EJO to shut up, but EJO isn't so easily intimidated, and asks what he wants. Colin Hanks's voice breaks as he says he wants to be free, and after a long moment, EJO says he'll talk to God, and he releases him. "You know where the door is." Colin Hanks wastes no time in getting out of there...

By Couch Baron

Jonah tells him to get the fuck out, but Dexter, unintimidated, goads him into answering questions about the supposed incident with his father and trips him up in a lie. He then pushes things by telling him he knows "for a fact" that Arthur was never there, letting his voice drop to a meaningfully calm tone as he continues that Arthur didn't kill anyone in the house, and Jonah steps forward in realization, asking if that's because Dexter killed Arthur. Dexter, almost psychotically, almost drawls "Yessss," and seriously, Michael C. Hall is so talented to infuse that with a particular brand of understated menace that feels new for the character, even after all this time. Dexter adds, "Just like you killed your mother, and your sister," and Jonah, seeing Dexter's intentions in his eyes, runs out of the house as fast as he can, like, kid's a lot smarter than most people on this show. Dexter doesn't move to follow until Brian hisses, "Get him!" in his ear, and by the time Dexter gets out the door, Jonah's peeling away in his car. Some neighbor takes a break from watering her lawn to look over inquisitively, getting a wave from Dexter. Hee. Unfortunately, the fact that Jonah has a big head start on Dexter isn't his only problem, as he needs his knives...

...so he and Brian head back to the motel. Dexter doesn't know where to find Motel Guy at first, but then Brian clues him in that he's in the shed, like again, this seems a little beyond the imaginary character's capabilities here. Regardless, Dexter does indeed find the dude there, who speechifies about his tools and whatever and Dexter is in no mood. The guy thinks he's there because of the two pot plants growing in the cornfield, to which Dexter honestly replies that he couldn't give a shit, and then the guy gets the bright idea to blackmail Dexter for ten grand for his knives back, like, WHO BLACKMAILS A GUY WHO SURREPTIOUSLY CARRIES GINSU'S WHOLE COLLECTION AROUND WITH HIM? Brian points out that the guy is leaving Dexter no choice, as he's clearly going to kill Dexter if he doesn't kill him, and it's rather ironic to have Brian point out how safely the writers played this one. I mean, it would be one thing if Dexter truly went off code under Brian's influence, but even Harry wouldn't have Dexter die rather than defend himself from imminent danger. The show obviously is always worried about Dexter becoming unlikable; it's understandable, but the risks a show like Breaking Bad takes in that department make it clear how the only groundbreaking or lasting thing about the show, aside from MCH's performance, is the initial premise.

By Couch Baron

Oh, but first, Dexter has to dump the guy into a silo full of corn. Even in Bumblefuck, that's got to violate some sort of health code.

At his apartment, Colin Hanks finds a photo from his graduation of him and EJO. After consideration, he stuffs it into a traveling bag, along with some of his books...

By Couch Baron

...and then we get our, no lie, THIRD establishing shot in this episode of Miami Fucking Metro, which I think really is starting to make my brain leak out of my ears. Not, however, to the point where I can deal with Deb CHECKING HER VOICEMAIL again, like, if this is how she deals with boundaries I'm amazed Dexter was able to stand having her at his place for even one night.

Quinn appears in the door, and when she notes he's "looming," he steps in and doesn't beat around the bush in apologizing for "being an asshole" at her party, for sleeping with Porter, and...for proposing to her. Her eyes go wide at that last bit, and he admits that he only did it because he thought that's what people do after a certain period of time, which: Thank you for that sentiment, which I think is more common than people realize. Deb points out that they could have talked about it before he sprang the ring on her, but rather than discuss that, Quinn asks for confirmation that they had something good together, and Deb gives it. He tells her there are still times when he comes home expecting her to be there, and then he sees the place is all neat and it hits him all over again. Heh.

She gets up, and they lean against her desk side by side and bond over how weird it is for her to be in LaGuerta's office, and then, with some emotion, she admits she wanted to tell him her good news before anyone else, but...well, you know. He takes responsibility, saying he made that difficult, but she knows she'd hurt him, and she apologizes. He huskily tells her he misses her, and it's obvious at this point they're going to kiss, which they do...but it's not right, and she looks so sad as she tells him she can't. He realizes it's really over, and she smiles wistfully; he gives her a kiss on the cheek, and she answers with another watery smile before he leaves. Good scene; realistic in premise and well-acted in execution, and even with Deb pissing me off lately and Quinn being Quinn, it made me care about characters that I should always be caring about. Was that really so hard?

By Couch Baron

Dexter and Brian are driving around, for what reason I can't fathom, but eventually Jonah calls, and pardon me, but wouldn't part of witness protection be to get rid of your old phone? Are we to imagine Jonah's had Dexter's number memorized all this time? Anyway, Jonah asks Dexter to meet him back at the shop where he works, and then Brian and Dexter babble inconsequentially, but it does appear Dexter's looking forward to this...

...and then he's heading into the darkened store and finding Jonah with that same hook he was brandishing when he first saw him. Dexter tells Jonah he came to Nebraska because he couldn't believe that Jonah had turned into a killer like his father, as he thought he'd set him free. Jonah, however, denies that assertion by clumsily coming at Dexter with the weapon, but with his martial-arts skills Dexter has no problem getting the better of the kid, and soon Dexter's got him down and is pressing the hook toward his throat...and Jonah is exhorting Dexter to kill him.

Dexter is not so consumed by bloodlust that he fails to hear those words, and asks in disbelief what Jonah means. When Jonah tells him to kill him for what he did, Dexter pulls the hook away and grabs Jonah by the throat, ordering him to tell him the real story, which he does: Apparently, his mother chose to blame the kids for all the mental and physical abuse Arthur visited on them, and still loved him after all that, and eventually this was too much for his sister's self-esteem -- she committed suicide. I'm guessing that she had to have killed herself by cutting her femoral artery, as if Jonah had done it after the fact to make it look like a Trinity kill, the blood wouldn't have drained. And if that's the case, the girl really wanted her exit to be a final fuck-you to Mommie Dearest. When Jonah found her, he exploded on his mother, hitting her over and over, "just like Dad! I'm my father's son!" But obviously, the remorse that Jonah is showing in the way he tells this story makes him entirely different from his dad, and Dexter steps back, any urge to kill the boy gone, despite Brian's exhortations to do the deed. Dexter stalks outside, whereupon Brian grabs him by the temples and holds him close, but after we get some jump-cut memory flashes of Dexter saving Deb from Brian's table, Dexter shoves Brian off and gets in the car.

By Couch Baron

Before he can drive away, though, Jonah rushes out and asks how he's supposed to live with this guilt, and Dexter, echoing Mos Def, tells him to forgive himself before running the manifestation of Brian down, after which, in the rearview mirror, Brian disappears. Christian Camargo did the best he could, but that appearance was kind of a waste, given the really dark places Brian and Dexter could have gone together.

Greene and a typically insufferable Masuka come in to Deb's office, whereupon Greene tells her that, with a combination of computer skills, marginally illegal activity, and common sense, he was able to narrow down the number of possible matches for EJO's accomplice to two hundred. Masuka acting like he had ANYTHING to do with this is frankly stunning, but I'm glad Greene's star continues to rise around here. When Deb flips through the photos, we see Colin Hanks in there, so we know Greene has them on the path...

...while Colin Hanks, in his sister's kitchen, finds the photo of him and EJO he seemed to leave at the church. So, you know, cuckoo!

As he returns to Miami, DVO wonders if maybe darkness can't exist without light, and honestly, DVO, do you know how to torture a metaphor or what? Dexter stops to pick up a hitchhiker -- Harry, who greets him: "Welcome home, son." Dexter looks happy to see him, and they drive off...but week, Deb and Miami Metro track Colin Hanks down.

John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. Believe it or not, he's worked with Michael C. Hall, as well as Lucy Liu and Peter Fonda, on his film "The Trouble With Bliss," (formerly "East Fifth Bliss") which will be in theaters in March 2012 and about which you can get information here.

Also, he writes about film and television on his blog "Pull Up A Chair," which he would just love for you to visit. And you can follow him on Twitter here.