If you thought Dexter had run out of reasons, ways, and excuses to put off killing Trinity, you found yourself sorely mistaken. With Christine in custody, Miami Metro is closing in on Trinity, and since Dexter doesn't want that, he hurries up and dispatches of Trinity himself, and we're just left with some loose ends to tie up. Oh wait, that doesn't happen. Instead, Dexter decides to throw the cops off the scent by framing someone ELSE for the Trinity killings -- making sure it's a bad, bad man who he can kill justifiably -- leaving him "enough time" to murder Trinity. Considering the rush-rush quality of many of Dexter's kills this season (including this week's aforementioned patsy), I'm not sure why that's a concern, but whatever.
At the same time, Dexter's keeping Trinity at bay by demanding a $50,000 ransom, lest he go public with accusations that Arthur is a pedophile. In retaliation, Arthur begins to track down every Kyle Butler in the phone book, with deadly results. He also discovers that Christine's been caught by the cops. He finally gets his daughter on the phone, cuts her loose completely, and tells her he wishes she were never born.
So by the time Dex is ready to quit fucking around and go after Trinity, he can't because Deb needs him. And that's because Deb just heard Christine's confession and then watched her blow her brains out. Dex gets close enough, though, that Arthur is able to follow him... all the way back to Miami Metro. Art takes a leisurely stroll around the place before coming face to face with "Kyle Butler" and reading the name on his laminate, "Dexter Morgan."
Um, also Rita confesses kissing Elliott, Dexter punches Elliott, Angel and LaGuerta get busted by Matthews, and Angel and LaGuerta get married.
Previously on Dexter, Christine got arrested for being a blood relative of Trinity's (and for probably shooting Deb and killing Lundy), Dexter saved a young boy from being murdered by Trinity, Ghost Harry and Dexter's Voice-Over (DVO) were suuuuper annoying and redundant, and most importantly of all, Angel and LaGuerta told Captain Matthews they were broken up when really they're not!
Angel's interrogating Christine while Deb and Quinn watch (and, at a different monitor, Dexter). Christine tries to sell the story that she doesn't know who her father is. Dexter's shitting a brick because if Christine gives the cops her father's name, they've got Mitchell and Dexter doesn't. Which, again, I still don't see why this matters to Dexter. He is clearly not operating from a primal need to kill Arthur himself, or else he'd have done it weeks ago. Arthur doesn't have anything on him, really, not even the Kyle Butler stuff; certainly not like what Miguel Prado had on him. I'm finding it very hard to find a reason, beyond pure plot contrivance, that Dexter can't let the cops just have Trinity. But anyway, here's the whole premise of the episode that I don't accept: Dexter needs to find someone to take the heat for the Trinity killings, at least until Dexter is able to kill Arthur himself. Which, at the rate he's been going, won't be until well after global climate change alters the face of the globe, at which point Dexter's going to have to find a higher shelf on which to keep his blood slides.
It appears that Arthur is hiding out in a hotel room in the wake of "Kyle" breaking up his attempted child-killing. He tries to call Christine but is only getting her voicemail. He then turns his attention to the TV, where there's a news report about young Scott's safe return. Upon hearing that the police have no leads as to Scott's abductor and the circumstances of his rescue, Arthur gets a half-pissed, half-curious expression on his face. A face that says "I've been sleeping on sheets that would give a black light the cold sweats for nothing?"
Cut to Dexter, in his office and hard at work trying to find a lowlife scumbag worthy of killing among the poor suckers who got DNA-swabbed by Deb's random sweep. He gets a phone call, but not on his regular cell. This must be his super-secret Kyle Butler cell, because it's Arthur calling him to ask what kind of person breaks up a child murder and doesn't call the cops. "Who are you, Kyle?" Trinity asks. "And what is it you want?" Dexter searches for an answer, then comes up with the dumbest one possible: "Money." To the show's credit, I think they know this is supposed to be just a dumb stab in the dark. But Dex is committed now, so he says he wants $50,000 or he tells the whole world that Arthur Mitchell is a pedophile. Arthur REALLY objects to that kind of slander, which is nice and darkly funny. Excuse me, but when Arthur drugged that boy and placed him into a plastic bag and dropped him into a hole in the earth filled with wet cement to await an unimaginably horrifying demise, that boy was UNSPOILED, you hear me? Arthur says he can't come up with that kind of money -- he's not even in Miami (he lies as he pulls out the Miami phone book). Dexter gives him 24 hours. After he hangs up, Arthur doesn't look half as concerned as he was even thirty seconds ago. Instead, he calmly flips through the phone book until he lands on a pair of entries for "Butler, Kyle."
Christine continues to stonewall Angel; Angel continues to alternate hot and cold pressure on her. She tries to assert her "rights" (come on, lady, it's Obama's America not Jane Fonda's America) but Angel tells her, as a material witness, she can be held indefinitely. Out in the bullpen, Deb yells at the TV like your dad during sports (or me during the Real World/Road Rules Challenge) that Christine had better talk, then. Quinn looks over at her, unsure whether this is a fight he wants to pick (or one he even has a right to pick) and tries to make the case that Christine's said she doesn't know anything; maybe she doesn't. Deb admonishes him that he's too close to this case, but he points to the whiteboard where Lundy's listed as the victim and says she is too. Dexter approaches to check if Christine's said anything yet. "Nope," says Quinn, "and she won't." "Let's hope so," mutters Dexter. Jesus H. It's bad enough when DVO is playing Captain Obvious in his head. Now he's just saying random, cryptic, incriminating things for no reason. That's some Krusty the Clown, "I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet" shit. Anyway, Deb looks at him like he's an asshole, and Dex sputters and says, "For Quinn's sake." This earns him a hearty "Fuck you!" from Quinn, this time not undeserved. Still, it allows us to see Dexter's brand new method of dealing with Quinn: aggressive sarcasm. To the FU, Dex replies, "And you," and when Quinn questions Dexter's stated lunchtime plans with Rita, Dexter actually moves to charge at Quinn before Debra intervenes. This won't be the last we'll see of Newly Aggro Dexter.
As Dexter leaves, he passes LaGuerta and hears that they've got a warrant to search Christine's apartment, which gives him even more incentive to yada yada MacGuffin. Quinn wants in on the apartment search, which LaGuerta rightly shoots down, for obvious reasons. She's gonna send Deb over with Angel. Only not so fast on THAT, because now Matthews is here and needs to speak with both Angel and Maria ASAP. In Maria's office, Matthews shows them security footage of a liquor store robbery from the other night. But it got sent up to him because 30 minutes earlier, there's footage of Angel and Maria at the same store, making out in the aisle. Okay, let this be a lesson to all you people: the liquor store is a place of business. A place of business where lonely people go to purchase the bottle that will be their only companion tonight. You flaunt your relationship in the aisle in front of the cabernet, as far as I'm concerned, you deserve what you get. Anyhoo, suffice it to say, Matthews wants their asses for this. They lied in an affidavit, under oath. He tells them to call their union reps and look into alternate career paths. So...he's mad, then. After she catches her breath, LaGuerta confronts Matthews. He's had a bug up his ass about her since almost the beginning. Why? Is it because she's a woman? Latina? "Your arrogance," Matthews growls at her. Yeah, but she's gotten WAY better at that, man. Can't you see how boring she's been written this season?
Dexter's in his storage unit, bathed in the warm glow of Harry's obviousness. Dex rifles through Lundy's Trinity files, looking for a close-but-no-cigar suspect that he can use as a patsy. He comes upon one Stan Bodrie, a long-haul trucker who killed a hooker with a crowbar, though the cops fucked up the evidence. Well that's an easy call. Dex then scrambles to make his appointment with Rita. Harry, miraculously, fails to hassle him for it.
Meanwhile, Arthur is at some poor SOB's house, removing the screen from his front window. The house's owner, who looks like a cross between a more hipster-y Seth Gabel from Dirty Sexy Money and Derrick from the aforementioned Real World/Road Rules Challenge, comes home and is seriously pissed about this quasi-home invasion. Arthur is hilariously nonchalant about it, once he confirms this guy owns the house, saying he thought this was his friend's house instead. But Hipster Derrick isn't taking "I thought I was breaking into my friend's house" for an answer. He slams Arthur's car door shut and says he's got his license plate number. He's gonna call the cops. Well, Hipster Derrick, you said the phrase of the day! You're...not gonna like the prize.
Dexter is late to counseling, as he meets Rita in the Amazing Technicolor Family Therapist's Waiting Room. Seriously, this room looks like the inside of the Simpsons' house. Anyway, Rita's bitchy and cold, but for different reasons than usual. Dex gets a call from work (supposedly) but Rita manages to stop him cold by just confessing to kissing Elliott. I love how Rita can manage to make confessing an infidelity into a shrewish ploy to nag Dexter into not going to work. Hilariously, Dexter does her one better, using the occasion of this shocking confession to get the heck up out of there.
Cut to a closeup of Hipster Derrick, dead as a doornail on the floor of his home. Close observation seems to place the cause of death as Getting His Fa
ce Bashed the Fuck In. While LaGuerta interviews a neighbor, and Dexter takes photos, Masuka wormily pokes around Dexter, asking about "lunch-slash-therapy with Rita." Dex tells him to quit reading his desk calendar and tries to change the subject, but Masuka finally gathers his stones and blurts that he saw Rita kissing the neighbor. Dexter, of course, knows, and Masuka's relieved. Meanwhile, the neighbor gives LaGuerta Hipster Derrick's name: Kyle Butler. Dexter's super-keen serial-killer ears pick that one up from across the room. DVO states the obvious (Arthur's in town and looking for him), then lays on the guilt about another innocent man dead because of him.Christine Hill's Apartment of Cop-Fucking and Crazed Pacing. Angel and Deb sift through boxes of shoes before they happen upon something far more useful: postcards to Christine from cities that match the Trinity killings, all signed "Love, Daddy." "It still doesn't give us Trinity," Angel cautions. "No," says Deb, "but it gives us something to make the bitch talk."
Closeup on an apartment door that says "K. Butler" on the front bell. Someone rings it and waits for the poorly-named sap to step outside to look around. That's when a syringe gets plunged into his neck -- yes, this is Dexter getting the jump on him. Has Dex decided to just cut out the middle man and start killing these innocent bystanders before Arthur can? YOU'RE SO STUPID. Actually, no, Dexter just wants to knock this Kyle out so he can lie in wait for Arthur. Okay, let's hear it for the first sensible thing Dexter's done all week. (Yes, I just described injecting a man with a paralytic and squatting in his house to better kill a man as "sensible.") Oh, and in case you were wondering and/or a moron, DVO lays out the whole plan for us in delicious redundo-vision.
So Dexter waits, and waits, and paces, and waits, and writes a testimonial for Phenobarbital or whatever the hell it is that's keeping Real Kyle knocked out for so long, and waits. Finally, he sees Arthur sauntering up to the front door. Dex lies in wait. Arthur opens the door, stalls, waits a moment, then leaves. DVO does its one entertaining thing of the week and spits "What the FUCK?!" in frustration. Dex goes to chase, but since the apartment opens up to a courtyard, there's too many people around. Thwarted. Dex sees Real Kyle's Christmas cards on the hallway table, which I guess we're assuming Trinity saw and realized this isn't the Kyle he knows? It's a stretch, but...fine.
Miami Metro. Angel presents the postcards to Christine, explains their significance, points out Daddy's signature. Christine's rattled, deep down, but on the surface, she simply says Miami PD's trying to set her up. In turn, Angel starts pressing: she used Quinn to keep Daddy safe, she kept tabs on Lundy, and she shot him. Christine finally leans in and asks for her lawyer. Out watching the monitor, Quinn finally gives up the ghost: "She lied," he says, before proceeding to make it All About Quinn and how he was used and how he's an asshole because of it. Deb tries to make him feel better by reminding him she used to be engaged to the Ice Truck Killer. Yeah, that'll knock you down a few pegs. "So," she says with a rueful smile, "We can play 'Who's a Bigger Asshole?' but I guarantee I'll win." You guys, I love Deb. Angel appears and says he's keeping Christine another night. "Good!" overcompensates Quinn. "Let her fuckin' rot!"
That night, Dexter seeks out Stan Beaudry's house. Or, rather, his shack. Stan's not home, but Dex finds his CB radio (turned on, for whatever reason) and a photo of him to his rig. You guys, remember when Jackie on Roseanne became a trucker? That and that one Simpsons episode are my only reference points for truckers. Anyway. Dexter gleans that ol' Stan is due back tomorrow. Of course, Dex would be able to head him off at Jacksonville tonight if he didn't have to make an appearance with that albatross of a family of his. Harry's words. Harry's paraphrased words.
Back home, Rita has stayed up so they can big-T Talk. Dexter is so not interested, both because he's mad but probably more because he's tired. He relents, though, because Rita says it can't wait. She says she didn't sleep with Elliott, and it was a HUGE mistake, and she's SO sorry. Dexter's like, "Okay, apology accepted." This, of course, sounds completely crazy to Rita, and I can't quite blame her there. She quite naturally feels like he's bottling up his feelings of hurt and betrayal and anger. But Dexter's just over it. He assures her everything's okay.
After attempting to reach Christine several more times, Arthur finally just heads over to her apartment, where he finds yellow police tape across her door. Troubling.
The morning, Dexter breaks into Arthur's house and gets to DNA-gathering (combs, razors, nothing grody). Angel phones and says they need him in at work, ASAP. Harry pesters that Dex is "juggling too many people." And he doesn't mean Trinity, Beaudry, Rita, et cetera. He means the personas Dexter has to put on. See, this is what you're missing when I gloss over Harry and DVO's pointlessness. I.e., nothing.
Miami Metro. Debra convinces Angel to give her one crack at interrogating Christine before her lawyer shows up. Not sure what good that'll do but hey! Go for it. Deb plays good cop, bringing Christine food (she's too paranoid to eat it, but whatevs) and attempting to find common ground on the topic of fathers. Deb talks about Harry; how she wanted them to have been close, but he was more interested in Dexter. Christine can tell this is at least 30% bullshit designed to build trust. So Deb tries another tack, talking about realizing one day that her dad wasn't the end-all, be-all. Christine still manages to see this for the tactic it is and stonewalls. Deb leaves the room, and Angel says Christine's lawyer is demanding her release. They decide to let her go and see if they can follow her to Trinity.
Hey, so remember when Angel called Dexter in to work on that urgent matter that couldn't wait? Yeah, here's that urgent matter: Angel and LaGuerta are in her office with a judge, ready to get married. They need Dexter to be a witness. Now, there's no way they could have known that this insane, boring scheme would be interrupting Dexter from framing a trucker for the Trinity killings so he can better kill Trinity himself, but I'd like to think if they did know, they'd be terribly embarrassed about it. Anyway, Dexter's the witness, signs where he needs to sign, and BOOM -- Angel and Maria are married. Obviously, this is a quickie way around Matthews's attempt to fire them, but for the moment, they seem blissfully in love. They ask Dexter to keep this under his hat, for now, and just as quickly, they're called out to work.
With that out of the way, Dexter can get back to framing Beaudry. He puts out a CB call for "Stan the Man" (which is what's emblazoned on his rig's door in the photo). He doesn't have to wait long before another helpful trucker chimes in to say he saw Stan at a nearby truck stop. This is a weird subculture and way more like Craigslist missed connections than I expected it to be. Dex then gets a call on the Kyle-phone, and Arthur says, "I'm standing right in front of your house, Kyle." Considering he's leaning up against a gaudy yellow mailpost and the soundtrack bottoms out, we're led to believe he's really at Dexter's home. But the camera backs up to reveal he's at the marina, which is the fake address Dexter marked down for Kyle at Habitat for Inhumanity. Dexter suggests Arthur try a jet ski. Arthur now knows Kyle was lying from the beginning, but Dexter says a liar is better than a pedophile. Arthur yells again at the mention of the p-word. Dexter demands his money again, but Arthur coolly, almost smugly says he needs until tomorrow.
Dexter reaches the truck stop, and we see Stan the Man in person for the first t
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ime. He looks like a resurrected James Coburn crossed with that country guy who really hated the Dixie Chicks. He steps into his rig, but before he can turn the key, Dexter's got him from behind with the piano wire. And because we've got a lot to do, and Dexter killing this guilty-of-something trucker isn't high on the priority list, Dexter speeds through the kill. Plastic. Yelling. Scalpel. "You fuck!" Blood. Slide. Threats. Power drill. More threats. Throat. Blood. Splash. Done.Afterwards, Dexter plants all of his Arthur artifacts (including a pic of Christine) in the cab of Beaudry's truck, ensuring that the cops will connect the dots from him to Trinity. And since we're all very stupid, Dexter narrates his entire process. So now it's not just his voice-over or the imaginary subconscious father figure leading us by the hand, it's Dexter himself. Brilliant.
Christine gets home and immediately calls her dad. She tries to explain why she hasn't returned his calls, but be blurts that he knows where she's been, and she's not to call him anymore. Click. Harsh.
That night, Dexter plants still more items of Arthur's, this time at Beaudry's ramshackle abode. And finally, he places Arthur's bludgeoning hammer in Beaudry's toolbox. Done and done.
Dexter gets home, and as he's walking up to his front door, he spots Elliott sitting on the stoop door. Rita is peering out through the blinds and takes particular interest in Dexter crossing the lawn. But she doesn't try to stop him. Dexter greets Elliott, who's shitting a smallish brick as he stands up. "Stay the hell away from my wife," says a surprisingly territorial Dexter. Deflated, Elliott begins with, "Jesus, Dex..." but before he can explain, Dexter hauls off and punches him. He moves in to do it again, but Elliott begs off. He gives a few mealy-mouthed excuses, and finally Dexter just says not to touch her again. The he goes home, the triumphant caveman, and Rita is surprisingly not pissed off. "I'm glad that you cared that much," she smiles. Okay, I know we're like two scenes removed from Dexter tearing into a man's throat with a power drill, but THIS is making me queasy. Rita kisses Dexter's sore punching-knuckles and helps ice them down. They both giggle about Dexter the Unlikely Fistfighter. Whatever. She deserves him.
The day, at work, LaGuerta and Angel meet in Matthews's office and smugly inform him of their nuptials. And I do mean "smugly." They basically tell him that if he pursues (perfectly legal) action against them (for falsifying an affidavit), he's gonna look like a big, mean, anti-marriage jerk. It's really making me not like them. Matthews, who knows he's been beat: "I can only marvel at the level of cynicism. Using the institute of marriage as a cheap political ploy. You must be very proud of yourselves." And yeah, in a vacuum I guess that counts as an oblique nod to current events, but it's weird lining Angel and LaGuerta on the bad side of that line. Whatever, nobody cares about this storyline anyway.
So Angel gets a phone call at the end of the meeting and says they have a lead on Trinity. Gee I wonder... Cut to Deb, Quinn, and Dexter at Beaudry's metal shack. They're chalking Beaudry's absence up to Christine warning him to stay away. While Masuka picks up all the breadcrumbs Dexter left for him, Debra is outside the shack and finds the planted hammer. She takes it inside and gets Dex to confirm the make of the murder weapon, but she's finding this whole bust far too easy. "It's a little hard to believe this is the same guy that never made a mistake in 30 years," she says. "Nah, I'm sure he made mistakes," says Dexter, "we just weren't looking." It's a lie designed to override Deb's bullshit detector, but it's a pretty smooth one.
Later, Angel's giving the whole story of the Beaudry "bust" to the news. Back at his seedy motel, Arthur is watching. He's utterly nonplussed at this turn of events. He gets a call from Christine, who assures him the call won't be traced. He berates her for fucking everything up. Christine cries that she was only protecting him, because she loves him. Arthur goes cold as ice. He refuses to help her and says she's on her own. He says he's sorry. "I'm sorry too," she whimpers, but Arthur wasn't finished: "I'm sorry you were ever born!" At which point a goofy but amiable angel appears to Christine and takes her in a tour through a version of Miami where she was never born. Oh, what an unfamiliar landscape it is! Quinn, for one thing, is banging some Asian waitress. No, no, fine. No angel. Arthur just tells her not to call again, ever, and Christine breaks down into hiccupping sobs.
Back at the Beaudry shack, Deb gets word that Christine wants to speak to Deb. Only Deb. Quinn manages to get her to let him tag along, though. Meanwhile, Dexter gets a call from Arthur, who is back at the carnival, scoping out the abductable boys. He tells Dexter he has the money and tries to arrange an exchange point, but Dexter tells him to meet him at the marina at 8. Planning on a quick and easy burial at sea, hmm? But once Dex is off the phone, DVO lays it out for us: He's gonna intercept Arthur right now, at the carnival, before he can nab another kid.
Deb shows up at Christine's apartment, looking somewhat reticent. I like how Deb isn't entirely sure how to act around Christine. She's torn between the savvy cop she's become and the reactionary victim she's trying to keep under wraps. Christine looks like hell as they both sit down. "That motherfucker," she leads off. Deb thinks she's talking about Quinn, but it's her dad. Deb shocks Christine by saying they know who he is, but when Deb says "Stan Beaudry," Christine lets out a rueful giggle and just says, "wow." Yeah, at least Dexter won't be getting sandbagged by Crazy right here. Christine then returns to the subject of fathers and daughters. She only wanted to make her dad love her. But he hates her. Deb says he's a killer, she doesn't need his love. Christine then says she's a killer like her dad. "I shot you," she says, as Deb swallows hard. "And I killed Lundy." Deb holds it together as Christine says she is sorry, but not so much when Christine asks (perfectly sincerely but still) if Deb can forgive her. "Are you kidding me?" Deb says, breaking down. "I came here to do a job, and to take you in, and get justice for Lundy. But forgive you? Fuck you." She's hyperventilating now. I love Jennifer Carpenter something serious. Christine just closes her eyes. Deb says they should just get to the station, but Christine won't be doing that. She pulls a gun from beneath a pillow, and before Deb can make a move, Christine puts the muzzle up under her own chin and pulls the trigger. Quinn hears the shot from street level and comes running. By the time he gets up there, Deb's already in the hallway. She blocks him, but he looks in and sees the blood, the gun, and Christine's dead body. Think he'll ultimately find a way to blame this one on Dexter? Me too.
At the carnival, Dexter searches in vain for Arthur. He gets a call from Deb, who tells him about Christine. She needs her brother right about now. DVO dithers about multiple Dexter identities (the serial killer v. the brother, blah blah), but Dex makes a quick call: "I'm on my way." As he heads for the car, Arthur is watching him from the upper level. And in a mirror image of earlier episodes, it's Arthur who now follows Dexter through the streets of Miami.
Arthur follows him all the way to Miami Metro. Talk about the mouse bringing the cat home for dinner. ...Do people talk about that? Lord knows I would. Arthur follows Dexter into the police station and just starts walking around. Remember when the CIA raided SD-6 in the second season of Alias? This feels just as intrusive. He asks the cop at the desk if a Kyle Butler works here (he doesn't), then swipes a visitor's badge from some doddering old biddie. He strolls into the station.
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Dexter goes to see Deb, who is crying. She's afraid to erase Lundy's name from the whiteboard. If she does, it's all over, and Lundy's still dead. She says she knew finding Lundy's killer wouldn't bring him back, but she thought it would bring something. Dexter, per usual, isn't able to give traditional comfort, but he does offer to erase Lundy's name himself. Deb almost lets him, but she pulls it together and does it herself. One can't help but feel that poor dead "O'Rourke," on the board below Lundy's name, is getting the short shrift.
Back to Arthur, roaming the halls of the station like the deadliest Alzheimer's patient you ever did see. He strolls past a trophy case (where's THAT been?) and sees a photo of Dexter on a championship team. The composition of the team (Angel, Masuka, some random dude) is very Pin Pals. The caption tells Art this is the team from the Homicide division.
So off the elevator and into the Homicide floor comes Arthur. He wanders into the briefing room, where the whole Trinity case is laid out on whiteboards. Never one for obsessive clippings or wallowing in his conquests, Arthur finally gets to see all his handiwork, and he is perversely impressed and delighted. But then he spots Beaudry's name and photo underneath the word "suspect." Not as proud about that one, but he's happy to have the heat off him.
Arthur then walks into the Homicide bullpen ... and right into Dexter's sightline. He comes bounding out of his office, face to face (or face to chest, since Lithgow is The Sasquatch) with Arthur. Arthur looks down at Dexter's laminate, smirks, and greets him. "Hello, Dexter Morgan." Um. Fucked.
Joe R is pretty psyched for the finale -- how will Angel and LaGuerta adapt to married life??? He can be reached for lavish praise and nothing but at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.
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