Lots going on this week, not all of it necessarily paying off quite yet. Dexter's still looking to pick up tips on being a family man from Trinity, so he hastily finds himself some busywork. In addition to chaperoning Cody's scouting excursion, and trying to force Astor into taking up an activity besides scowling, Dex sets out to kill a fashion photog who has apparently been killing his models and, in at least one case, feeding them to gators.
Meanwhile, Debra's back at work and manages to convince LaGuerta to let her investigate Trinity. Deb also meets with one of Harry's C.I.s, who manages to gross her out thoroughly. Deb decides she can't take finding out how many of these skeevy old cougars Harry went to bed with, and so gives up the investigation. Good thing, too, since Dex's mom was on the pile of C.I.s. Dexter eagerly shreds his mom's file (though he holds on to her half-shredded photo out of misguided sentimentalism that will surely come back to bite him.
As for Quinn, he takes exception to Dexter strong-arming him to get Christine to leave Debra alone. And since he was already chaffing from Dexter knowing too much about his sticky fingers, Quinn decides to find some dirt on Dexter. Shades of Doakes?
Oh, and Trinity invites Dexter out to the woods to chop down a tree, is incredibly surly that whole day, ends up whimpering after hitting a deer with his truck and is unable to put it out of its misery, and finally spends the last 20 minutes of the episode obsessively making a coffin.
So Dexter sneaks out of the Cub Scout Picnic or whatever to go nab Fashion Photog and murder him up good. Only the day, at work, the cops bring in Photog's assistant, and Angel tells Dex they have concrete proof that he offed those women. So Dexter just killed an innocent man. Oh, fine, NOW he feels guilty.
Previously: Trinity's a serial killer given to random weeping. Dexter found him but decided to hold off killing him until he learns how to be the successful family man Trinity is. Lundy got killed, Debra finally decided Trinity did it. And she also decided she figured out the C.I. her and Dexter's dad was fucking way back when.
We open on Dexter and family (Deb included) out for a peaceful boat ride. I always forget Dexter's boat is called the Slice of Life. Yet another reason for everybody in Dexter's life to slap their foreheads if and when he's ever caught. Everybody seems to be enjoying the blissful relaxation, but Dex gets a call from work, so they have to return to shore. Deb also exposits that she's returning to work and that she's now going to be living in Dexter's old bachelor pad. The better to one day find an incriminating piece of evidence that leads her to discovering he's a murderer, one assumes.
Dexter ventures out to the murder scene, which is in the swamps. There he sees an alligator with its belly sliced open. Man, whoever's killing those gators is SO gonna pay! No, actually, the gator's belly has an arm in it, and before you start thinking it's weird that Miami PD would just randomly find an arm-eating gator conveniently gutted for them, one of the swamp locals notes that he was planning on eating the gator when he discovered the surprise limb. Dexter examines the arm, which appears remarkably undigested for having been in a stomach, and, noting the ligature marks on the wrists, concludes this is a homicide and not simply a gator-munching. Angel says they should search for further body parts. Dexter would very much appreciate a head.
That night, Dexter returns home to a house full of yappy kids who need attending to. He is but one man, people! (DVO notes that he's kinda two men, but we're ignoring DVO.) Dex sees a business card from Christine Hill atop Debra's stuff. Rita says she's called a couple times before, wants to do a hero piece on Deb. Dexter obviously wants nothing to do with a reporter snuffing around his family -- and by extension, him. Dex and Rita overhear the neighbor couple fighting, which gives them the opportunity to remind us they they're still in counseling and are doing much better now.
The day, Dexter stakes out Trinity at the hardware store while DVO lays out this week's broad strokes: "I'm a serial killer, and I need advice on how to keep my kids from taking over my life." So once again Dex turns to Trinity for lessons in living as a Complete Man. Dex offers to help Arthur load up his car -- sometimes serial killers just love the classics -- and asks after Arthur's son, Hot Jonah. Though probably not for the reasons I'd be asking after him. Trinity notes that Jonah's got ROTC in the morning and football in the afternoon, so no time to help the old man. And rather than let that suffice, we get the follow up for the back row, where Arthur explicitly states that he's trying to push his children out into the world so they can be their own people. All that flies right over Dexter's head, and all he can hear is "get the kids out of the house." After fishing, unsuccessfully, for Arthur to invite him over, Dexter finally lies that he's new in town and without his family, he doesn't know anybody. Arthur's aloofness dims for a moment, and he asks Dexter what he's doing this weekend.
At Miami Metro everybody can't wait to welcome Deb back, including one gloriously uncomfortable hug by the coffee truck. And the coffee's even free! As you can imagine, Deb takes to this excessive attention like it's a swarm of back-patting bees. She tries to slip inside quietly and asks Dex to run interference with an approaching Christine. Dex takes a pretty firm stance with Christine from the get-go, no false pleasantries -- Deb's been through enough, she needs to be left alone, leave her alone. Quinn sees this and asks to speak to Dexter alone. He says Christine's just trying to do her job and Deb can take care of herself. They take turns puffing out their chests and posturing, before Dexter hits with the hard stuff: "The guy who saw the other guy steal the money from the crime scene wants Christine kept away." Message received! Though Quinn is getting that "Must take Dexter down" glint in his eye.
Inside, Debra rushes into the briefing room, late. She apologizes but quickly admits her late entrance was on purpose: "I was waiting at the end of the hall so I could tell you all at once and get it over with." She thanks everybody for their concern, but she doesn't need anybody's help, and she's not going to show anyone her scars (pointing to Quinn). "So please, can we just fucking move on ... and why is there a picture of a fucking arm up there?" LaGuerta, barely suppressing a giant smile, welcomes back "Detective fucking Morgan."
Back to work, Angel briefs the room on the arm's original owner: Estrella Carazo, Nicaraguan cocktail waitress and part-time model. She last worked a job for a fashion photographer named Jonathan Farrow, whose works are of the "gruesome violence and horror visited upon hot chicks" type. Even DVO is disturbed, which made me laugh. "That is sick," spits one off-screen cop. Really, grizzled homicide detectives? THIS offends your sensibilities? Anyway, Estrella never checked in to work the day after the shoot, and Farrow was arrested for rape six years earlier. And they think the victim was paid off to drop the charges. DVO is like, "Good enough for me! Bouncing!" Farrow has agreed to come in for questioning, and Deb says she wants in on that. LaGuerta adjourns the briefing, awkwardly fumbling with whether to call Angel "Angel" or "Sergeant Batista." Hey, at least she opted against "Papi."
Debra is immediately all over the nonverbal weirdness and asks Quinn what's going on between LaGuerta and Angel. Quinn has no idea, of course, but Deb thinks they're doing it.
Dexter's in his office, searching online for activities to sign the kids up for so they can get out of his hair. I swear to you, those are the very reasons why my siblings and I wound up in vacation bible school for three consecutive summers. And we were Catholic, so I'm pretty sure that's not even allowed. Anyway, Dexter's distracted by Farrow being led in for questioning, followed by his entourage (including an assistant glued to the phone.). Dexter eyes him up like a succulent pork chop. Harry appears and lectures Dexter about focusing on a small fish like Farrow when he's knowingly putting off killing Trinity. They have one of their "You're not the hallucinatory subconscious projection of my dead father of me!" back-and-forths and Dexter fairly easily talks himself into bumping Farrow to the top of his list.
It's easy to understand why, as Farrow might be the most affected stereotype of fashion asshattery ever. And he's wearing a shiny suit coat. With a thickly fake Brit accent, he smarms to Angel and Debra about what a "nice ass" Estrella had and how she was "FOJJ" ("fresh off the jumbo jet," like, that's NOT EVEN A SAYING). Deb's clearly disgusted by him, which Farrow picks up on. He says he'd love to get her into his studio, rip off her clothes, and rough her up a bit. If you could see DVO right now, he'd be dusting off his hands in the "that's that" motion. Farrow, consider yourself already murdered.
That night, Quinn helps Debra move her stuff into her new apartment. He cocks an incredulous eyebrow when she tells him it used to belong to Dexter. "What'd he use it as a fuck pad?" Deb's like, "Obviously not," because she's still not asking questions yet. As Quinn leaves, he runs into Dexter and taunts him about what kind of a heel gets married and holds on to his old apartment. He asks Dex what he's hiding, and Dexter, with pronounced calm, tells Quinn to stay out of his life. I'm putting it at about 50/50 now between "Quinn's fucking with Dexter" and "Quinn is starting to believe Dexter's hiding something serious." Inside, Dexter asks Deb if she's always going to have people over to her new apartment. Aw, yeah, that's kinda out of your hands now, Dex. Deb shows off everything she's gathered about the Trinity investigation. She's ready to take it to LaGuerta tomorrow, including her theory that Trinity killed Lundy and shot her. Deb's sure LaGuerta's gonna flip for it, while DVO is sure LaGuerta will find the whole thing paranoid and farfetched. Dex also finds Deb's stack of Harry's old C.I. files. He presses her about this particular investigation, and he's nonplussed when she tells him the woman she thinks Harry was sleeping with is some old bag she's having coffee with tomorrow. Dex is momentarily relieved Deb hasn't stumbled upon Laura Moser's file yet, but once she does, that's a slippery slope, down past Brian Moser, the Ice Truck Killer, Harry's code, and finally Dexter the avenging angel. Not a bit of which Debra wants to know. As he unconsciously moves toward the A/C unit that once housed his blood samples, almost like he's guarding it (nice subtle touch, that), Dexter tries his hardest to be nonchalant as he asks Deb to keep him posted.
Back home, Dexter has arrived with pamphlets for kid-distracting activities! (Rita first notes that -door-neighbor Elliott's girlfriend moved out -- that's two conspicuous mentions of that this week, you figure it's gonna crop up again soon.) For Cody, the Young Sailors' Club. For Astor, soccer (hilariously because "you can kick things"). Cody's psyched, but Astor is surly about soccer AND ballet. And when Dexter pulls out a pamphlet for Little Scientists, she snaps, "Why do you hate me so much??" Normally I'd chafe at Astor being such a brat, but honestly, I might react that way to Little Scientists too. So, back to the drawing board there.
Cut to Arthur and Dexter, early the morning, driving out into the swamplands. DVO: "Two serial killers go out for a ride. Why do I get the feeling this joke ends with only one of them coming back?" That line weighed heavily in the previews for this episode, and while I was certainly not expecting their big, bloody confrontation to take place in Ep 7, what goes down on this little road trip is still a big ol' letdown. So let's get to it! Trinity takes Dexter to the back of the van and tells him to choose a weapon; there's a chainsaw, an axe, a band saw, some hedge clippers, et cetera. Dex picks the axe, while Trinity goes chainsaw. I WONDER IF THEY'LL START FIGHTING NOW PROBABLY NOT. Sigh. No, they're just gonna cut down a tree and let the portent lie thick in the air.
It should be noted that Arthur is in an extremely glum/irritable mood today, for no particular reason. It doesn't help that he can't get his chainsaw to start (ooh! That gives me an idea for a Cialis ad pitch. None of you steal my intellectual property!). Dexter can, however, and he managed to cut down the small-ish tree without much effort. After, he starts plugging Arthur for further advice on how to get the kids involved with stuff. Arthur basically says make it an order, not a request. Of course, subtle domineering of the sort Arthur probably pulled on his kids is best implemented from Day One. I can't imagine someone like Astor would respond to anything like that. But Trinity's in a mood, so let him have his opinion. Dexter continues to pester Arthur about why not just buy lumber from the hardware store, and Arthur snaps back that he doesn't like the lumber from the lumber yard! Also, he sprinkled some of his mother's ashes in his cheerios this morning and they told him to go cut down a tree. You know how breakfast goes.
As Arthur and Dexter drive on out of the woods, a deer runs out onto the road, and they hit it. And here's where I take a break to watch footage of cars hitting deer on YouTube. It's morbidly fascinating to see how people react. And by "how people react" I mean "grown men scream like Twilight fans." Arthur is freaked at the sight of the deer, which isn't quite dead yet. Dexter says the suffering animal needs to be put out of its misery, but Arthur's too squeamish. Harry shows up to taunt wussy Arthur for a moment. He whimpers around while Dexter lets him dangle on the line a bit, which is cruel but appropriate. Harry would strongly prefer if Dexter just took the axe and killed Trinity now, but Dexter still wants to hang on to his font of familial wisdom. Finally, after much (MUCH) more whimpering from Arthur and carping from Harry, Dexter brings the axe down on Bambi's neck. Done. Gotta love the look of disappointment on Dexter's face after that little episode.
still can't get a search warrant for Farrow's studio. This is all music to an eavesdropping Dexter's ears, since "multiple murders" plus "judicial roadblocks" (plus, let's face it, "unrepentant douche") all add up pretty strongly to "Dexter's victim of the week." DVO could not be more thrilled. Or superfluous (yes, yes, you don't need a warrant, WE KNOW). And once again, Angel and LaGuarta are awkward around each other. Deb notices and asks LaGuerta about it, privately. LaGuerta bristles at the idea that there's a rumor going around; she curtly tells Debra to stop spreading it and won't discuss it further. You guys, I love LaGuerta, and I want nothing but happiness for her and Angel, but this subplot has outlived its usefulness.Dexter does a web search on Farrow (on Tinselweb! The #1 web source for...tinsel), and then it's off to his studio, where Farrow's assistant is locking up for the night. Once he's gone, Dexter breaks in and finds the proofs from Estrella's shoot. Quite a few provocative photos that may have been artistic sadism or may have been documentation of a murder. Dex then takes out his handy black light and starts searching for fluid stains. Who parties harder than Dexter Morgan, you know? He, of course, does find one head-sized blood stain, accompanied by a steady trickle, leading to the wall. And it's there that Dex finds a fingernail embedded in the exposed brick. He takes the nail back to the morgue and matches it to Estrella's hand. Doesn't look good for Farrow.
Back in Trinity's basement, Arthur mirthlessly planes down the tree from this morning into planks. This happens a lot in this second half of the episode, without much variation. I shall try to keep you apprised of his progress. For now, still sanding it down.
Debra meets with her slattern of choice in the Miami Metro courtyard. The woman, Valerie, is decked out in some purple hippie-patterned halter that suggest she may not have changed clothes since her days of banging Harry. And bang she did. Val (can I call her Val?) is under the impression that Miami Metro wants to start paying her to be an informant again, but Deb's like, "Uh, no, but you can tell me if you were having a romantic relationship with my dad." Val doesn't think romance had much to do with it, but she was "one of Harry's girls." Deb's grossed out at that thought, as you can imagine. Seems Harry "picked the C.I.s based on how good we were in the sack." Before Val can continue describing the ways she'd drive Harry wild, Deb cuts the meeting short and hustles the fuck away.
Deb flees to Dexter's office and starts unspooling (though by Deb's standards it's a minor unspooling) about how all this information about Harry is to
o much to take. Dexter's nerves are soothed when he realizes all this fuss is because Harry was fucking Valerie (as opposed to Laura). Kind of hilariously, Harry shows up acting all penitent and somber, like he's giving a press conference resigning the governorship of South Carolina (uh, for example). "We all have secrets, Deb," Dexter says, self-servingly. "Some of them shouldn't be found out." Deb says she doesn't have secrets like that (Dex lies that he doesn't either), but she's gonna leave it alone anyway. She drops the stack of C.I. files on Dexter's table (Laura's image on the tippy-top), and Dexter hastily tells her he'll return them for her. Deb thanks him and leaves. "Return them" to the shredder, he means. At least in the case of Laura's file. He starts to do the same with her photo, but he gets halfway before he yanks it back out. He can't see her get cut up again. He places the half-torn photo in his drawer, where it will one day come back to haunt him but serious.That night, at home, Dexter presents Astor with a guitar, so she can take lessons. This is a HUGE step up from Nerd Academy or whatever that was, and so Astor manages a slightly less intense scowl as she says she'll see. Dex then brushes off Rita's advice that you can't force kids to do what they want to do. Except for school, church, bedtime, brushing their teeth, wearing pants, eating vegetables, taking a bath, and giving Grandma a hug. But, you know, other than that. (Actually, though, Rita's right, and Dexter's method of "extracurriculars by parental decree" is a recipe for disaster.) Rita then reminds him that Cody's Young Sailors' Club is having a camping trip this weekend, and Dexter's signed up to chaperone. Dex is kind of hilarious with his "I didn't know I'd have to get involved" whining. But there's no way he can beg off on account of "stuff" (i.e., killing Farrow), so Dex resolves to kill Farrow tonight instead. He verbally ticks off a list of errands he needs to run to prep for camping, while DVO mentally ticks off his to-do list for a quickie murder. Rita appreciates Dexter realizing how important this is for Cody and sends him on his way.
So now Dexter's got a man to kill and a short window to do it in. It feels awfully similar to the beginning of the season, doesn't it? So Dex follows Farrow to a club and spies on him from afar. But we see Quinn is following Dexter, so we've got some nice threeway action here, which Farrow would no doubt appreciate. After staring at Farrow as he gets awfully familiar with some young lady ("awfully familiar" including some breast-suckling, if you must know), Dex instructs one of the cocktail boys to tell Mr. Farrow that a homeless guy is throwing up in the back seat of his car. It's a decent way to get the Eurotrash Farrow to come running, I have to admit, but I'm not exactly bougie and I can tell you right now I would not be thrilled in that instance either. Farrow does indeed make a beeline for the door when he gets the news, but before Dexter can chase after him, he spots Quinn and halts in his tracks. DVO makes a judgment call that this whole enterprise just became too risky. Not a bad call by DVO. But he still needs to give Quinn the slip, and he does so in pretty much the most simplistic way possible. He points Quinn out to some young chippie and is all, "That's QUINN! Can you believe he's here?" The girl is exactly the kind of dumb Dex is looking for, and while she flirts with Quinn, Dex slips away. Quinn, who realizes he's been duped after about 30 seconds of flirting, is pissed that "this lab geek" gave him the slip.
So Dexter shelves his killing plans for the night and figures he might as well prep the boat for the camping trip anyway. Meanwhile, Arthur continues to plane and sand and moan.
The morning, Dexter takes Cody and three of his scout-mates out across Biscayne Bay and to their camp site. Dex is frustrated he hasn't been able to kill Farrow, but he's at least happy to show Cody a good time.
At work, Debra sits at her desk and contemplates the stuffed box of Trinity files. She eyes LaGuerta's office, waiting for the perfect time to pitch her case. It looks like she's talked herself out of it for today when she grabs her abdomen, a little residual pain from the shooting. This gives her an idea. Instead of hauling the whole huge case box into LaGuerta's office, she instead pulls one file and heads on in.
At the camp site, Dexter is going full bore with this Dad thing, showing Cody how to tie knots for their tent. Cody's like, "That's cool, Dexter, but can I throw dirt with the other kids?" Man, between this and Where the Wild Things Are, pop culture is making a strong case for dirt clods as legitimate entertainment. I remain dubious. Harry shows up to once again nag Dexter about killing Trinity. "After Farrow," Dexter procrastinates.
Meanwhile, Deb emerges from LaGuerta's office barely suppressing a smile. She calls Dexter with the good news: She got the go-ahead to open a Trinity investigation. She explains that rather than pitching the whole Trinity shebang, she went with just the bludgeoning. They go back 30 years, and Miami Metro already has a head start in that poor sandwich counter guy. Dexter tries to hide his annoyance that now he's got one more cook in his kitchen.
Quinn approaches Angel with the rumors about him and LaGuerta. Of course, he's Quinn, so he phrases it as "a little bump-n-grind." (He's also maybe wearing the same shirt he was last night, which raises some bump-n-grind questions of my own, but let's leave that aside.) Angel leaps to LaGuerta's defense and tells Quinn never to talk about her that way again. Quinn backs off and observes that Angel must really like her. Angel heads right for LaGuerta's office, and they compare notes. Angel playfully blames it on LaGuerta, saying she keeps staring at his culo. They share a laugh before they get to mooning over each other and how they miss one another but they made their choice and now their love must wither on the vine. Or something.
That night, Dexter and the other sailing dads join their kids around the campfire. One dad is telling a particularly inept urban legend pastiche that's supposed to pass for a ghost story. Both DVO and I are disgusted by this joker. So Dexter decides to tell one of his own. He tells the tale of a man they call Trinity, who is not a man but a monster. Born in a bathtub full of blood, for countless years he's roamed the countryside, killing the innocent. Leaving behind bits of his dead sister. "Sometimes," Dex continues, "he'll sneak up behind a man and raise his hammer overhead. And then he'll swing it down and --" At which point Dexter is rudely interrupted by Storytelling Amateur Dad over there. Probably for the best that Dexter wasn't able to get to the spatter part, given his vast clinical vocabulary on the subject, but I still can't abide a man who can't tell the hook story correctly. Anyway, the kids all hit their sleeping bags.
Arthur's still in wood shop, as it were. We see now that he's assembling something from his planks.
Dexter zips Cody into his tent, then looks around and realizes the camp is all asleep, and it's only 9PM. Time enough to kill a douchebag and make it back before sunrise. Well it certainly sounds like a good idea! So Dex takes his butcher-mobile out for a ride back to the mainland.
Cut to Farrow at his studio, where he's distracted by a series of flashing lights in the other room. He follows the strobe and makes for fairly easy pickings when Dexter jumps him from behind and knocks him out. When he comes to, he's surrounded by the familiar (to us) sight of Dexter's plastic-wrap, plus the familiar (to him) sight of photos of the various models he's killed. As ever, Dexter makes quite the art director.
So while Dexter pontificates (I love him, but he's at his most tedious when he's having these fireside chats (homicide chats?) with his victims) and cuts himself a blood sample, Farrow feverishly tries to plead his innocence. He also tries to explain the concept of