So, yeah. Wow.
At the cabin, Lila busts in and encounters Doakes, who reveals to her that Dexter is the BHB. She's shocked, of course, but instead of letting Doakes go, she decides to drop the cage keys just outside his cage and run to the stove, which she turns on just before cranking the propane feed to the place. She busts out of there, jamming an axe in the door so Doakes can't get out. Doakes is able to reach the keys and get out of the cage, but after realizing he can't get out of the cabin, he runs towards the flame as he utters his last "muthafucka" on this mortal coil. Sergeant Doakes, we'll miss your violent outbursts and irrational behavior. We'll also miss this show being good, because the way the writers killed you was kind of bullshit. It's not "Jumped the Shark," anymore; it's "Flamed the Cabin." "Hey, remember that show Dexter?" "Oh, yeah! But it totally Flamed the Cabin after season two." "True, true."
Anyway, this convoluted turn of events makes Dexter feel alive again, and we're treated to a semi-remake of the opening credit sequence, with Dexter cutting and cooking shit. He even runs over to Rita's for a quick morning bone, and she's powerless to resist his advances. The kids come in and ask if they're back together, and Rita says she guesses they are. Yay.
Meanwhile, LaGuerta's having kind of a tough time dealing with Doakes's death, and Deb tries to talk to her about it, because she also has once cared about someone who turned out to be a serial killer. Kind of a unique club to be in, huh? Anyway, LaGuerta doesn't give a shit, because she knows Doakes wasn't a killer, for real, but I guess they're saving her obsession over that for season. I mean, the writers tied up so many loose ends here, that there has to be something left for season three.
So, there's still the issue of Lila. Now that Dexter knows she's a killer, he arranges to meet her at the aquarium. He leads her on and tells her he wants to go away with her, all the while totally planning to put her in a bag. He later goes to her house to kill her, but he mistakes Deb for her, and almost totally blows his cover! Luckily, he's able to hide his syringe, but unluckily, Lila completely understands what's happening when she shows up, so she grabs Dex's murder bag, and uses his M99 to paralyze Cody and Astor's babysitter. Not fucking cool!
Of course, at the last minute, Dexter figures out that Lila's got the kids at her house, and he needs help from Deb to put out an APB on the crazy beyotch. Deb is vexed because she's supposed to be on a plane to vacation with Lundy, but she chooses Dex because it's an emergency. Not a deal-breaker, I don't think. Whatever. Dex goes to Lila's, and finds the kids watching TV in the loft. He turns around and sees Lila shutting the door behind her after kicking over some candles and setting the place ablaze. Lila escapes, but Dex helps the kids escape, then wraps himself in a rug and busts through a burning wall to safety. Pretty sweet. Deb is there to call the shots.
At the end of the episode, we see Lila in France. She gets back to her apartment, and finds a postcard from Miami with no postage on it. She flips it over and sees a picture of Doakes, and Dexter immediately slams a spinal paralyzer into her back. Not wasting any time, he carries her to the couch and stabs her in the heart with very little fanfare, which is awesome.
Previously: You know what? If you don't already know what happened, you really shouldn't be reading this yet. Sorry. All you need to know right now is that Lila has found the cabin where Doakes is being held.
So, at the cabin, Lila's snooping around outside, and Doakes calls out, "Hello! Who's out there?" Lila reaches the front door, and looks in puzzlement at the lock that's keeping it shut. "I need some help! Get me out of here!" Looking through a crack in the boarded-up window, Lila asks, "Who are you?" "Just open the door! I'm being held captive!" Lila spies an axe lying on the ground to the porch, and grabs it.
Over at Dex's place, Deb has her sidearm out, and she's loading that bad boy up. She notices Dexter cleaning up their dinner, and says, "Leave the mess for once! Walk away from the mess." "You know I can't do that," replies Dexter with a hint of a smile. Deb tells him that Lundy needs him, too: "He's mobilizing every agency in five counties. We're closin' in!" "You have a rental car, you don't have Doakes, yet." Deb lets her annoyance be known, and Dex reminds her that he's only useful if there's blood present at the scene. "Well, maybe we'll shoot him." "Then you'll need a paramedic, not me." "Are you afraid to face Doakes?" Dex tells her that of course he is, and that he has dishes to do. "Fine, I'll let you know when it's over," she says, pissed, and leaves. After a brief pause, she comes back in: "It's Doakes, you fucking hate the guy!" "I used to, but I can't afford to think of him as a person anymore." "I tried," she replies, and leaves again.
Once she's gone, Dexter sprints to the foot locker in his bedroom, VOing, "If they find Doakes locked inside a cage, it will seriously undermine my frame-job." Dex pulls out his case of M99, and inspects the rest of his tools. "I need to beat them to that cabin." Yeah, you do. What's gonna happen if you don't? Handheld drill? Check. Duct tape? Check. Let's roll.
In his car, which I can only imagine he got from the motor pool, Dexter's putting the pedal to the metal, and continuing his VO: "Waiting out there in the Everglades are hordes of county sheriffs, search parties, and ravenous reptiles. And in this corner, wearing the dark trunks, The Mighty Dexter." Dexter pulls up to a trailer that's going somewhere around fifteen miles per hour, and he frustratedly puts a hand to his face. After honking once, he pulls around and passes the slow-moving vehicle on the shoulder. "Drive much?" he yells over his shoulder, and turns back around to find that he's about to get into a head-on collision. He swerves to barely avoid it, and VOs, "I need a miracle."
I should think so: Lila's just hacked the lock off the door. When she enters the cabin, Doakes tells her there's a light switch right behind her on the wall. She flicks it on. "Goddamn, it's good to see another face," says Doakes, sounding pretty tired. "I never thought I would." Lila looks stunned by her surroundings, and looks around as Doakes announces who he is, and that he works for Miami Metro Homicide. "Who put you in theah?" she asks him. "Fuckin' psycho," he replies, "and he could be back any minute. Grab that key, right behind you on the wall." Lila does so as she asks, "Who is he?" Doakes, wanting her to hurry up, hastily answers, "His name is Dexter Morgan. I need you to open this gate!" Lila moves slowly, trying to figure out what exactly is going on here. "Why would he do that? Put you in theah?" "Because I found out that he's the fuckin' Bay Harbor Butcher. Please, just open this fucking gate!" As soon as the words "Bay Harbor Butcher" escape his mouth, Lila puts her hand up to her mouth as though she's going to be sick. "He's...the...Butchah?" she asks in disbelief. "That's what I've been trying to tell you." Lila spies the plastic bags on the floor, and asks, "What's in theah?" "Exactly what you think it is. It's evidence, and I saw it happen. I really need to get out of this cage, lady." "Poor thing, all alone," she says in sympathy. "I'm okay," says Doakes, appreciating the warm sentiment. "Just open the gate." "Not you," she corrects, "Dextah!" Doakes can't fuckin' believe this. I'm not having too much trouble, however. "Hiding such an enormous secret," she continues. "What a burden that's got to be. No wonder he is so shut down!" "What are you, his accomplice?" Lila thinks about the best way to phrase it, and she finally just comes out with it: "I'm his soul-mate." Lila smiles at Doakes, who is definitely not smiling back, and she drops the keys pointedly outside the cage, just out of his reach. She walks away from the cage, and Doakes shouts, "You can't leave me in here like this!"
Lila's over in the kitchen area, and she lights the stovetop as Doakes tells her that she'll be an accessory if she leaves without him. "I'm not gonna leave you. Not like that." Oh, what the fuck, dude! This is going to get...fire-y. "What the fuck are you doin'?" he asks as Lila opens the valve on the gas lead into the place. Doakes immediately starts yelling and freaking out, telling her, "Do you understand this is murder! Open this fuckin' door!" Lila reaches the front door, and wheels around, glancing at Doakes one last time. "This is fuckin' murder!" he screams, but she just makes a whatever face, and takes off. When she shuts the door, Doakes immediately falls to the ground and reaches his arm out under the cage and grabs the key. He busts out of the cage as we get a shot of the gas lead pumping invisible death into the place, pumping up the intensity. As soon as he gets out, he runs straight to the front door, which Lila has barricaded with the same axe she used to get in. When he realizes he can't get out, he runs back to the burner in slow-motion, clearly hoping to shut the flame before the inevitable happens. As he runs, he mouths one word, clearly distinguishable even if you don't read lips: "Muthafucka." As soon as he reaches the burner, the gas catches, and we're treated to the sight of Doakes getting completely engulfed and blasted all to hell. Lila watches from afar as the cabin goes up, and she looks awestruck. Fucking twat.
Now, once again, I understand that Doakes probably had to die. I (and White Rabbit, too) knew that as soon as Doakes found out who Dexter really is. But I can't say that I'm happy about it, really. I feel that the writers denied Dexter one last confrontation with Doakes, and I also feel like there must have been some other way to keep Doakes alive. What really bugs me is that now Dexter has no nemesis on the force, no one to keep him in check, or even be at least a little suspicious of him. What are they going to do season? Just invent someone out of the blue to "get the creeps" from Dexter? Whatever. I was really hoping after last week's episode that Dexter would find some way to get Doakes out of the country to a place that wouldn't extradite him, and that they'd be a strange brand of buddies in the future, but that was instantly dashed the second this bullshit went down. Anyway, you'll be missed on this show, Erik King. You gave "muthafucka" a whole new meaning. If you land any crime procedurals in the future, I'll be right there to admire your impressive upper body strength.
Dexter pulls up to a checkpoint and tells the cop who's shining the flashlight in his face that he's "Dexter Morgan, Miami Metro PD Forensics. I'm here to join the search for the Bay Harbor Butcher." "The search is on hold right now until they sort out the confusion." "Confusion, huh?" says Dexter nervously. "Yeah, it's a real mess." The cop tells Dex where to park: "Right behind the line of fire trucks." Uh-oh. "Confusion requires fire trucks?" Dexter says to himself as he pulls up to the scene. There's a clean-up squad putting out the flames as Dexter steps out of his car. "When something beyond reason happens, it turns skeptics into the believers," he VOs, "believers in a higher power. But what kind of power did this?" Deb spots Dexter, and asks him how he got there so fast. "I broke a lot of speed limits. After you left, I realized you were right: I didn't want to miss the action." After surveying the damage, he asks, "What happened?" "They think a propane tank exploded." "How?" "Do I look like a fuckin' fire chief?" "Did they find a body?" "Just bits and pieces, so far." Deb walks away, seeming really upset, all of a sudden. Dex VOs, "Was it spontaneous combustion? Divine intervention? If you believe God makes miracles, you have to wonder if Satan has a few up his sleeve. But when you don't believe in anything, who do you thank at a time like this?" Dex looks like his mind is blown.
After a quick panning shot of a marsh with the sun coming up, we're back at the scene in full daylight. A search team in the water discovers something under a palm leaf, and a woman announces over her megaphone, "We got a floater." Everyone rushes to the shore (I don't know what else to call it in a marsh) as the team returns with the body. After they plop the torso onto a gurney, Masuka inspects it. He notices the "gaping areas of pulpified tissue, extensive fourth-degree burns" that could only have been caused by a "big-ass fuckin' explosion." "What else can you give us?" asks a disheveled-looking Lundy. Masuka tells him that there are certain parts of the eyes that are unburned, so he must have been alive when it happened, because he was squinting. The teeth are intact, so the dental records will provide a positive ID. "Is it Doakes?" asks Deb, fighting back tears. "Male, African-American, about the right length of torso, heavily muscled. I think it's him."
Later, Deb, Lundy, Adams, and Matthews are all standing around a table that has some of Dexter's instruments on it. "These are the same kind of tools that scuba class found," says Deb. "He'd need them to make cuts that clean," says Lundy, motioning with his head to the dismembered body parts of Chris Harlow. "Those come from the suspect?" asks Matthews idiotically. "No, they belong to a second body," says Lundy, going on to say that the body was dead and chopped before the explosion. "So, this is where the Butcher did his dirty work?" says Adams. Way to go, man! Way to catch on. Fool. "It's a perfect location for a kill room," says Matthews. "Doesn't get any more remote than this." "No, it couldn't," confirms Lundy. Adams voices his approval of the situation, but says, "We keep the search on until we have a firm ID on the body in the water." Adams and Matthews walk away, and Deb asks Lundy if he agrees with them. "The evidence is compelling. Overwhelming, actually." "I guess we got our man," says Deb. "Oh, shit, LaGuerta's here." LaGuerta is indeed there, and she's blank-facedly following the EMTs who are carrying what's left of Doakes away on a gurney. Dexter grabs her arm and stops her, saying, "Lieutenant! I wouldn't...if I were you." "Is it James?" "They don't know yet." Dex VOs, "Apparently miracles are subjective. I can't exactly feel LaGuerta's pain, but I can appreciate it. Doakes wasn't so bad in the end, but the truly tragic thing would be to let his sacrifice go to waste. There's only one way I can think of to honor him. I have to embrace my freedom." As long as by "embrace my freedom" you mean "kill that beeyotch Lila," I'm with you, bro. Get to it.
Dexter's alarm goes off the following morning, and the theme song kicks in. As he pulls his white shirt over his head, just like in the opening credit sequence, he VOs, "Sleep! What a concept!" As he runs on the treadmill, he continues: "I can't believe I actually contemplated turning myself in!" Eye drops, tooth-brushing. "This is so much better than a prison cell." Well, a lot of things are. Shaving macro. Orange macro. "I can squeeze fresh orange juice, savor a fine French Roast." Meat-cutting macro. Sizzling butter macro. Egg macro. "Grab a morning workout. Okay, working out I could have done in prison, but still." Tomato macro. "I'm free!" Dexter leaves his apartment, wearing the same thing he does in the credit sequence. That was a nice little self-aware nod to the viewers. Ding!
Outside Rita's window, Dexter knocks a couple of times and pokes his head in. "Dexter?" she says, curiously. "Sorry, hope I didn't scare you." "What are you doing out there?" she asks, confused and concerned. "Well, I figured the kids are still asleep. I didn't want to ring the bell." "Why are you here?" "Well, I figured the kids are still asleep..." Mischief! They both smile at one another, and some Latin music comes in on the soundtrack. thing we know, they're boning and giggling in bed. As Dexter rolls back in post-coital bliss, Rita says, "That was unexpected." "Well, I wound up with some unexpected time on my hands." "Like twenty years to life," he VOs. "I don't know if this is a good idea, Dexter. I was just getting used to you from a distance." "I know, you've been like a mirage." "I've been right here. You're the one that went away." "Yeah, I did. I forgot who I was. I've got it straight now." "Well, keep it straight, or I won't be here time." "I know that." Glad we got that straight, guys. Keep it up! "Mom?" yells Cody. Dexter hides under the covers as Astor and Cody both enter the bedroom. "How come you're still in bed?" asks Astor. Rita says she overslept, and Cody asks if she'll make pancakes for breakfast. "What's under there?" asks Astor, noticing Dexter's obvious lump under the covers. "Um..." says Rita, smiling. Cody pokes the lump, and Dexter groans and pokes his head out. Everyone is happy to see him, and they all share a laugh. Astor asks if they're back together, and Rita says yes, and everybody's happy. Aw.
The tone changes dramatically as we go to Lila in her loft. She's painting a big painting of Dexter's face, looking demonic in lots of reds and blacks. Cool. As much as I hate her, that's a pretty cool painting. I'd love one of myself looking that bad-ass.
Deb is sitting on Lundy's lap, tying his tie for him as he instructs her. "I'm gonna be late!" he says. "So what? The case is closing." "I know, but we still need confirmation on Doakes's body." "And if it's him?" "Then it's over." "The case, not us, right?" Lundy says there's still plenty of work to do, and Deb says, "So, we've still got time?" "Plenty." They both get up and get dressed, and Deb says, "Time enough for a vacation?" "Now you're talking!" Deb's hoping for a tropical getaway, which is weird since she already lives in Miami. After she daydreams aloud about a "tiny bikini," Lundy says, "How 'bout a parka?" "A what?" "I've had my fill of heat. No more heat. You'd look great in a parka." He mentions a place called Lake Ipawash: "Wonderful ice-fishing. Very romantic." "Fine, book it. Let's just go!" says Deb as they leave the apartment together, arm-in-arm. Aw, they're cute, guys. I'm still totally okay with this relationship.
Dexter's back to his usual tricks, as he's now exiting the elevators at work with a dozen donuts. He cheerily asks one of the random cops if he'd like one, and the guy says he's not really feeling like it today. "Oh, right," says Dex, spying a wanted sign of Doakes behind the cop. Masuka, however, doesn't care: "Mmm, donuts!" He grabs a glazed, and says, "Hey, are you free?" "Vince, you have no idea!" says Dex. Careful, dude. I know you're excited, but you still have to watch what you say. Masuka says he could use some help cataloging a bunch of burned-up shit from the cabin. Dexter seems happy to help.
LaGuerta's keeping herself busy, obviously trying to distract herself from the reality (?) of Doakes being the BHB. Lundy comes in, and LaGuerta immediately begins telling him about more research she's done on Doakes's special ops missions. "We have a positive ID on the body," he says, interrupting her. Not listening, she says she discovered an additional date that puts him out of the country on one of the dates he was supposed to have killed on the BHB victims. "The burn victim is Sergeant Doakes," says Lundy, interrupting her again. That shut her up. "Dental records confirmed it." Shocked, and fighting back tears, she asks, "And the other body?" "Jose Garza, a murder fugitive who's been living under the alias Chris Harlow. The body was dismembered, consistent with our other victims. Deputy Director Adams is closing the case." Now crying, she replies, "I see." "Lieutenant, all the evidence points to James Doakes as the Bay Harbor Butcher, conclusively. I wanted you to hear it from me first." LaGuerta waves him away silently, sitting on the sofa. "I am truly sorry," Lundy says earnestly as he leaves her office. Once he's gone, LaGuerta is racked with sobs. Damn, that's gotta be rough. She's really the only one who knows that Doakes couldn't have been the BHB, and she has no way to prove it. I wonder if this will come back season?
In Masuka's office, Vince and Dexter are poring through tons of detritus from the cabin, all of it burned. "I don't know why they keep hauling all the crap from the cabin in here," says Masuka. "We already know what we need to know. Doakes was a suicidal maniac." "Uh, I believe the term is 'homicidal maniac,' not that I'm judging." "Yeah, whatever, Morgan. He blew himself up, that's all I'm saying." Dexter mentions that he heard it was a propane accident, but Vince counters that the stove was on while the propane filled the cabin. "The stove was on?" asks Dex. Vince says that it was in the official report. Dexter looks enlightened. "I guess Doakes would rather burn than get burned," says Masuka. "Hey, that's a good line for my movie!" "You're writing a movie about Doakes?" "Like you're not?" Masuka walks away to make a note of the silly line he just made up as Dexter stares ahead. After a second, he starts looking through all the evidence on the table, and finds a bag that contains what looks like a GPS unit.
"I just checked. I didn't see any GPS device in the minivan, Dexter," says Rita as she puts away a checkers game. "Did you check the glove-box? It's grey, rectangular, about the size of a paperback book." "No, it wasn't there. I even looked under the seats. Do you think someone stole it?" "Maybe. Thanks, Rita, I'll see you tonight." He hangs up, and VOs, "If someone stole my GPS, it would have led them straight to Doakes. Who do I know with a nasty habit of stealing? Lila." Well, fuckin' duh, dude. I can't believe you didn't immediately think of her when you saw the cabin demolished by flames. "My miracle worker." Riiiiight.
At the aquarium, Lila's watching all the fishies as Dexter creeps up behind her. "It looks peaceful in there," he says. "Doesn't it?" she says. "Glad you called. I was afraid maybe you'd left town." "Seems I found a good reason to stay." "Like what? A new victim?" Dexter comes around and looks her squarely in the eyes. "You mean you?" Lila looks paralyzed at this. "That's why you asked me to the aquarium," Dexter observes. "A public place. You thought I was going to slip my needle into your neck?" "Is that how you do it?" "It's one of the ways," he says quietly, looking at her intensely. Lila looks scandalized, and forces herself to break eye contact with Dexter. Dexter sighs deeply, and they both stand silent for a moment or two. "You're afraid of me now, aren't you?" he asks her. "I've always been afraid of you, Dextah," she replies. "Why?" "The first time I saw you, I could tell how hopelessly consumed you were by your need." "You lied to me. All that time as my sponsor, you said all you wanted was to help me control my addiction." "We did control it." "But that's not what you really wanted, was it?" She asks him what he thinks she wanted. "To know what it's like to feel something that deeply. Anything, that's why you hang out in recovery groups: you're emotionally color-blind. You use the right words, you pantomime the right behavior, but the feelings never come to pass." Lila tries to tell him that none of this is true, but he doesn't buy it for a second: "It is, Lila. You know the dictionary definition of emotions; longing, joy, sorrow. But you have no idea what any of those things actually feel like." "You're wrong! I have feelings for you." It's clear what he's doing here: he's totally taking the upper hand with her, and manipulating her in the exact same way she did with him earlier in the season. It's fucking great. He's breakin' her down! "You want to have feelings for me, but they're just impulses." "Enough!" Nope, not yet. "They're primitive responses to immediate needs. You know all the words, but you can't hear the music." Lila protests until Dexter grabs her face and says, "Lila, I'm just like you!" They kiss fervently as a guard looks on, not sure what to say. I don't really, either. What the fuck is Dexter doing? I hope this is all part of a ruse. Finally, the guard goes, "'Ey!" and Dex and Lila run out, giggling.
In another area of the aquarium, Lila says, "I was down to my last hope." "So was I." "When he told me who you are," she continues, "I thought that was a secret worth protecting." "Most definitely," he replies. Lila tells Dex that she wishes he could have seen the explosion. "I'm more like my father than I ever expected; I've created a monster of my own." Lila says she knows they were meant to be together, and Dexter tells her he's sorry he pushed her away. "I know how frightening it must have been for you, me scratching to get in, but it's okay. I'm in now. And I'm not going anywhere." "I am," he says. "Even with Doakes gone, I'm starting to think it's too dangerous for me here. I need to move on, disappear. I've already said my goodbyes." "Let me come with you." "I was hoping you'd say that." They hug as he asks her how long it would take her to get ready, and she says she can leave tomorrow afternoon. "Go home and pack. I'll call you tomorrow," he says. They kiss one last time, and she says she can't wait to go away with him. She leaves, and Dexter follows her with his eyes. "You're going away with me, all right," he VOs. "In a garbage bag." YES! That's what I'm talking about!
"But it went all right?" Deb asks Angel as they walk down the hallway at the station. "Sure, for an Internal Affairs investigation," he replies, clearly talking about Lila's "rape." "I spent two hours saying 'No, I did not rape Lila Tournay. She's batshit, nuts, wacko.' I started to run out of adjectives." "I've got a few you can use." Amen, sister. Angel sighs, and explains that the good news is that the department is eager to drop the charge, seeing as they have enough to answer for since Doakes was discovered to be the BHB. Deb says, "Good, so when they find out your so-called victim fled Miami, you'll be reinstated." "Lila went away?" "She fuckin' better," says Deb. "I dropped by her house last night and told her to haul her slag ass out of town before she's deported." Angel looks touched: "You did that for me?" "Of course! For you and for Dex. You two window-lickers needed someone to snap you out of it." Angel embraces her firmly, relief washing over his face. "It's good to know someone's pulling for you when you're down." After a while, the hug gets awkward, and Deb pats his back, saying, "Okay, I get the point." After Angel pulls away, he asks, "Are you sure Lila got the message?" Deb says she made it pretty clear.
LaGuerta walks up and says, "Excuse me." She hands them both flyers with Doakes's picture on them, and says, "Um, donations can be made directly to me." "Donations?" asks Deb, looking at the flyer. "For Sergeant Doakes's memorial service." "You've gotta be kidding," says Angel. "It's what we do for a fellow officer," says LaGuerta firmly, and she walks away. Deb follows her, and says, "Excuse me, Lieutenant? I was wondering..." "Checks, payable to cash." "Actually, I just wanted to offer my support, or sympathy...whatever the fuck. If you wanna talk." "Thank you, Morgan. I can manage." "I'm not so sure," says Deb. "I mean, you're collecting money to honor a killer." "I'm not honoring the Butcher, I'm honoring James Doakes." "Respectfully, Maria, that's denial." "So it is." "You're choosing to be in denial?" "Conscious denial. The case is closed, I'm not going to pursue it. But, I knew James. I knew him as a partner and as a friend, and I have to keep on believing that that is who he was, because if he could hide all that other fucked-up shit, then I don't think I could ever..." "Trust anyone again?" Deb offers. "That's right." "Or yourself?" Maria nods. "I'll leave a check in your office," says Deb. Interesting scene. I feel really bad for Maria.
Dexter's packing up his murderin' tools, VOing, "It's strange to have a creation out there, a deeply mutated version of yourself, running loose and screwing everything up." Really, dude? She kind of completely saved your ass. "I wonder if this is how parents feel." Dex heads out.
"Lila?" he calls out, entering the loft. Nobody answers, so he walks in and looks around. He spies the huge painting of his face, and looks a little creeped out by it. He hears a door open in the hallway, and hides behind one of Lila's big drapes after putting his murder bag on the floor. She walks into the space, and Dexter quietly pulls out his syringe, prepping it to plunge into her neck. Quickly, he lurches out and grabs her, but it's actually Deb! "What the fuck!" she says, and Dexter backs off. "Dex?" Deb pants, wondering what the hell is going on. "What are you doing here?" Dex asks her. "I came to make sure Lila left town." "Yeah, me too," he stumbles, putting the syringe in his pocket. Deb asks if he was planning to wrestle her, and shoves him just as Lila enters. "The door was open," Dex explains, careful not to give away too much. "I just stepped out to buy some snacks for the road trip," says Lila with a smile. Deb looks at Dexter, because the way Lila said that made it seem as though Dexter is familiar with her plans. "Come to say goodbye?" Lila asks Deb, holding out her hand as if to make peace and say farewell. Deb scoffs and says, "Actually, we came to make sure that you cleared out." Lila throws a salty glance at Dexter. "Now that we see you're on your way, we're good to go. Have a nice fuckin' life!" Lila, now understanding what's going on, spies Dexter's bag lying on the floor. "You're not coming with me, then?" she asks him. "Oh, my God!" says Deb, obviously missing what's really going on. "What did you do to make her so pathetically crazy for you?" she asks Dex. "Does your dick dance?" Ew, dude, that's your brother. Gross. Lila grabs Dexter's murder bag, and says, "I'd better be on my way, then." "Um, I think that's my bag. I must have left it last time I was here," says Dex. "No, I'm pretty sure it's mine," says Lila. "I can open it up for you, if you like, so you can check for yourself." "My mistake," he says, feeling Deb's curious stare. Lila leaves after saying goodbye, and Deb makes sure to get one last jab in: "Have a nice flight! Don't forget your broom!" Yeah, like, ha ha, Deb.
Now in the car, Dexter frantically calls Lila and leaves a message: "Lila, where are you? I'm ready to hit the road! Hope you're not mad about that thing with Deb. I had to lie; I don't want her know we're running off together. Call me right away! I miss you!" Yeah, I think it's too late, dude. She's a crazy bitch, but she's not stupid.
Under some overpass by the water, Lila opens up the murder bag, and sees all of Dexter's tools. She looks distraught as she opens the box containing Dex's M99. Good one, Dex. Now what's she gonna do? Fuck.
"Frank!" Deb calls out as she enters Lundy's place. "Bedroom!" he calls back. "What are you doing home in the middle of the day?" she says, then under her breath: "She asked, hoping for sex." Heh, nice. She loves boneration. She walks into the bedroom, and finds Lundy packing his suitcase. "You're packing already!" she notices, and puts on a winter hat to show Lundy she's excited as well. "Lake Ipawash or bust." Heh. "Deb, slow down," says Lundy, grabbing her shoulders as though he's bracing her for something. "Wait, I got a parka!" she says excitedly, going into another one of her shopping bags and explaining it was probably the only one in Miami. "When do we leave?" she asks. "Not we. Me," he says. Deb's face falls as Lundy explains that he just got a call from DC: "A pattern of bodies was identified in Oregon. My flight leaves tonight at seven." "You gotta be fuckin' kidding me." "I wish I were," he says, clearly meaning it. "But it's too soon. I mean, if you're leaving, we gotta work out logistics." "Logistics?" "Yeah, we got a lot of shit to figure out. Weekend visits, and red-eye flights and frequent flyer plans. Let me get my calendar." Lundy stops her and asks her if she's really ready to go down the long-distance-relationship path. She replies that she knows they never work out, "not even in the movies," but she still thinks it's worth it. She walks over to the phone and begins dialing, and Frank asks what she's up to. "Logistics," she replies. "I'm taking a leave of absence." He grabs the phone from her, and tells her she's not thinking it through completely. "What's to think about? I'm going with you! It's just a job!" "It's more than that to you," he says plainly. "Okay, I love my job. But not as much as I love...being with you." "Just, do me a favor. Take the afternoon and think about this." "Fine, you do me a favor and buy me a goddamn ticket on your flight. I'm going home to pack, and I'll see you at the airport." She leaves with a smile, grabbing her parka. Lundy can't help but smile himself. They're awesome.
Over at Rita's, the babysitter is coming inside with Astor and Cody when the doorbell rings. She answers the door, but nobody's there, so she goes out to see who it was. There's still no one, so she stands, perplexed, as Lila sneaks out from behind her and slams some M99 into her neck, making her pass out. Oh, well that's just great. Now she's gonna fuck with Rita's kids? Severely uncool. I guess that's just the name of Lila's game.
At the station, Dexter finds Matthews and says, "Captain, you called for me?" "Oh, hey, Dexter. Yeah, I received a phone call from a woman who says she's a friend of yours." "Who?" "She wouldn't give her name. She claims to have vital information on the Bay Harbor Butcher. Any idea who she might be?" "English accent?" "That's her." "I think she might have a personal issue with me. Um, this is the same woman who tried to railroad Batista; you might want to avoid her." "Not a chance," says Matthews. "This case is closing and I can't afford any loose ends." "Did she say she was coming in?" asks Dex. "Within the hour," replies Matthews. "And you said she mentioned my name?" "Specifically. Stick around, we'll sort this thing out together, okay?" Matthews pats Dex on the shoulder with a smile, and walks away. Man, what's Lila up to? Dexter's curious, too: "If Lila plans to turn me in, why would she drop my name to the Captain and give me a chance to intercept her? It doesn't make sense...unless she wants me here so she can hurt me some other way." "Rita," Dexter says aloud, a look of terror smacking him in the face. He runs to the elevators.
Dexter finds the door at Rita's unlocked, and barges right in to find the babysitter passed out on the couch. He runs to her after calling out for the kids and getting no response. "Lexi!" Oh, that's her name. "Lexi!" She wakes up groggily as Dexter asks where the kids are. "I can't remember," she says, looking terrified. Rita walks in, just home from work, and asks what's going on. "Dexter? I got your message. What is it? What's going on?" "The kids are missing," he says bluntly, and Lexi immediately starts apologizing for falling asleep. Rita says she has to call the cops, and Dex tells her to call Deb, because she'll get the whole force looking for the kids. "I promise we'll find them," he says, leaving the house.
"We're going to Terminal Seven, Miami International," Deb tells the cab driver who's helping her with her bags. Her phone rings, and she answers, "Morgan." "Debra, it's Rita." "Hey, I'm just getting in a cab." "Look, Cody and Astor are missing," Rita says frantically, just barely keeping it together. "Did you call the police?" "Dexter said to call you." "Okay," says Deb. "Um, you just sit by the phone, I'll take it from here." Deb hangs up and tells the cab driver to wait up a second. "You don't want to go to the airport?" "Of course I want to go to the airport," she says, and the guy continues putting her bags in the back. "I just said to wait!" she says, and the frustrated guy tells her to make up her mind. "Why? Why do I have to make up my mind?" she says, her voice getting shaky. "Goddammit, here," she says, handing the guy a bill and grabbing her bags out of the back. Oh, poor Deb.
Dex slides open the door at Lila's loft, and finds the kids on the bed watching TV. Cody says, "Hi, Dexter!" as if nothing is strange at all, and Dexter runs up to the lofted area where they are. "Hey, guys, you havin' fun?" Dex asks, trying not to panic so the kids stay calm. "Super fun!" says Cody. "Lila's so nice!" "Where is Lila?" Dexter asks. "I'm ovah heah," says Lila, now standing in the doorway to a large drape and a candelabra. Dex wheels around and their eyes meet. "You could've had it all, Dextah," she says. After a pause, she pushes the candelabra over, instantly setting the large drape on fire. Dexter jumps over the loft to the front door as Lila slams it shut and padlocks it so he and the kids can't get out. Damn, that's fucked up, dude. Dexter tells the kids to stay on the bed and not move as he tries to jimmy the door open. Outside, Lila hovers for a moment, then leaves. Inside, Cody cries out for Dexter as the whole place gets engulfed in flames, and Dexter sprints back up to the loft. He tells the kids to both look away as he slams open a window with his foot and clears all the glass away. Being a loft-style window, it's large enough for the kids to pass through, but too small for a full-grown man, so Dexter thinks fast. He pads it with a cushion and slips Astor and Cody out to safety, as the fire turns into an inferno. Once they're out, he tells them to go call for help. They're good kids, and they're probably familiar with 911 since they did have FND as a dad, so they run for help. Inside, Dexter fights the flames and tries to find a way out. He drops to the ground to avoid smoke inhalation, and grabs the candelabra, hoping to use it as a makeshift crowbar to jimmy the door open with. Unfortunately, this plans fails, and he falls back to the ground, coughing violently. He notices that the plaster on the walls is beginning to peel back, revealing the beams and sticks holding it up, and apparently this sight inspires a flashback.
Harry and Young Dexter are sitting by a campfire, and Harry asks Dex, "What do you remember from before? You know, before we took you in?" "Nothing." "Good," replies Harry, "because what happened was too strong. Son, it got into you too early, and it's gonna stay there." As this conversation goes on, we see shots of Dexter seemingly losing consciousness on the floor, struggling to breathe. "It's gonna make you want to kill, and you won't be able to stop it," Harry continues. "So, I'm gonna be like this forever?" asks Young Dex, with tons of reverb on his voice. "Yes," answers Harry, matter-of-factly.
Dexter blinks a couple times, coming to, and looks at the same wall as it loses its integrity. Slowly, Dexter climbs to his feet and grabs the rug he's been lying on, covering himself with it. He runs at the wall and strikes it with his full body weight, trying to slam it open. The first attempt doesn't work, and after the second, the rug has caught on fire. The third, however, proves fruitful as Dexter busts through the weakened wood slats and beams to the other side. Deb, who's just arrived, sees Dex bust through, and immediately sprints to his aid, throwing her jacket onto the still-burning rug to tamp out the flames. She tells him he's going to be okay as we hear fire engines pulling up, and she pulls him to his feet and drags him outside. You're awesome, Deb. I don't care what White Rabbit says, you're the shit!
At the airport, we see Lila boarding a plane headed for Paris. I'm sure this won't be relevant later. Actually, it probably will be.
Back at the scene, Dexter, who's sitting on a gurney getting checked out by paramedics, tells Rita, "I'm so sorry for all of this." "It's over now," she says, holding the kids tight. "They're safe, you're safe; that's all that matters." Dexter nods as Rita smiles at him and leads the kids away. Well, that was a pretty fast forgive! I'm not so sure I'd be so quick to just get over this shit.
"You two," says Deb to a couple of uniforms, "secure a perimeter and have the fire chief come see me as soon as he gets here, okay?" Yeah, Deb! Take charge! She approaches a couple other uniforms and tells them to "Put out an APB on Lila West, a.k.a. Lila Tournay, suspected arsonist, 5' 7", black hair, pale like a fuckin' corpse." "Fuckin' corpse, got it," says one guys, earning his SAG card. Nice one, bro! Air fives! Deb moves over to Dexter, who's still on the gurney. "You're wasting your time; she's not coming back, not after this," says Dex. "Yeah, I wouldn't bet on it," Deb agrees. "She won't. She's a survivalist. How'd you know the kids were here?" "One of the neighbors saw them walking with a strange woman. It wasn't much of a leap." Heh. "Lila's gone after everyone that's close to you." Dexter looks at Deb intensely, and she looks taken aback: "What?" "It's pretty impressive. It seems it wasn't too long ago I was taking care of you." "I like it better this way," she says, smiling. "I can see that," he replies calmly. "How can you be so fucking relaxed?" asks Deb, and he responds that he's "good at compartmentalization." "You're a little weird, Dex." "That's not gonna change. I'm gonna be this way forever." "I can live with that. Just smarten up, okay?" Deb leaves him in the hands of the paramedics, and as Dexter gets into the ambulance, he VOs, "I passed through the flames and rose from the ashes, again. I've never been one to put much weight into the idea of a higher power, but if I didn't know better, I'd have to believe that some force out there wants me to keep doing what I'm doing." The screen abruptly goes to black with a resonating clang, leading us to believe that that's it.
But it's not, for here we are in Paris. A metro train speeds by as Lila appears under the overpass, the Eiffel Tower visible in the distance. She walks around the city for a while, and heads to her apartment. When she reaches home, she puts her mail on a high table, and goes through it to see what's what. After a couple of bills, she finds a postcard with no postage on it. It reads, "Greetings from Miami," with a shot of the fair city. She turns it over to reveal a photograph of Doakes smiling up at her. Quickly, Dexter slinks up and sinks a syringe into Lila's spine, making her collapse into his arms right away. "Dextah," she whispers. "You wanted to be close to me, Lila? This is the most I have to offer." "I can't feel my legs or my body," she says, beginning to panic. "Good," he says. "I went with a spinal epidural instead of the tranquilizer. I've got a plane to catch, and you don't need to feel this." He picks her up and carries her to the couch in the living room, where he's already laid out plastic wrap. "You killed an innocent man." "I did it for you." "Did you try to kill the children for me too?" he asks as he slams her down on the sofa. She lets out a terrified moan. "Don't do this," she says. "You taught me to accept who I am," he whispers, staring at her, "and to trust in the one thing I know with absolute clarity." With no fanfare, he grabs a knife that's sitting on the coffee table and instantly plunges it into her chest. "Thank you," he says as Lila dies. He shuts her eyes and zips up her plastic body bag.
"Not long ago, I had a dream that people could see me for what I am, and for a brief instant in time, the world actually saw my bodies of work." We're at Doakes's memorial service now; only his mother and sisters and LaGuerta are in attendance. "Some even cheered, but as it turns out, nobody mourns the wicked. Sorry, James." The camera pans around and reveals that Dexter is at the service as well. "I think Harry knew that from the start. That's why he gave me a code. It cost him his life, but it kept me alive through incredible trials. The code is mine, now, and mine alone." Now, Dexter is running on the grass in slow motion with Rita and the kids. Everyone is all smiles. "So, too, are the relationships I cultivate. They're not just disguises, anymore." We're at an awards ceremony where Angel and Deb are both receiving plaques for their hard work. "I need them, even if they make me vulnerable. My father might not approve, but I'm no longer his disciple. I'm a master, now; an idea transcended into life."
Now home, Dexter opens a package, and from the sea of packing peanuts he pulls a new blood-slide case and admires it. "And so, this is my new path, which is a lot like the old one, only mine. To stay on that path, I need to work harder, explore new rituals. Evolve." He puts the slides in the same spot in the air conditioner that the old one used to inhabit, and as we look at him from the inside of the machine, he finishes: "Am I evil? Am I good? I'm done asking those questions; I don't have the answers. Does anyone?"
Well, I certainly don't. I'm just happy you got rid of Lila. My buddy Quail was upset that Dexter didn't chop her up into little pieces, but to him I say this: she didn't deserve Dexter's usual ritual. Fuck her. I hope she rots in that body bag for weeks.
Anyway, I guess that's it. They certainly wrapped up a lot of shit. I have no idea where they're going to start season, or where the drama's going to come from. I just hope the show doesn't suck, because I do think the way they killed Doakes was a bit lazy.