Dexter TV Show - If I Had a Hammer - Dexter Recaps, Dexter Reviews, Dexter Episodes | TWoP

Aired 2009-11-01

At the crime scene, Dexter photographs the victim (poor dead Sandwich Guy) as DVO notes (he's still on probation, but this should be noted) that Trinity, having completed his cycle, will have his guard down and be easier to catch. Dexter's trying not to give too much useful information to Masuka and Quinn -- he's trying to get Trinity dead, not arrested. The best he offers them is that the perp was taller than the victim, given the spatter pattern. "Duh!" scoffs Masuka. Dex then mentally notes the victim's right arm was moved to point to a spot on the wall. He tries to be smooth and collect the dirt smudge particles from off the wall, but Masuka catches him and wants all the non-blood evidence he can get. Miami Metro: 1, Dexter: 0.

Back at the corpse, Masuka notes the bloody pattern on his forehead suggests a framing hammer. DVO: "Duh!" Okay, DVO, that was a good one. Dex asks Masuka how he knows so much about hammers. Masuka: "There's not a tool I haven't played with, my friend." Ew, Vince. Ew.

Meanwhile Trinity's out in his garage, whistling that same churchy song and cleaning off his killin' hammer. Really cleaning it, too, with bleach and everything. You could eat someone's brains off of that thing.

At the station, Deb watches Angel interrogate Nikki on the monitor. Nikki denies being at the hotel the night Lundy and Deb were shot, and Deb obviously thinks the "fucking junkie whore" is lying. Quinn shuts the TV off, telling Deb she shouldn't be watching. Nikki's gonna get sent away for a long time anyway, but they just have no way to pin the Lundy killing on her. Clearly, this is not good enough for Deb, but what can she do?

Angel, similarly frustrated, vents to LaGuerta about not getting Nikki to confess. LaGuerta says the brass wants the case kicked to County anyway, much as it frustrates all of them to leave Deb and Lundy's attack unsolved. Angel notes that he hasn't told anyone about his transfer yet (Maria hasn't done the paperwork either). He tries to put a rosy spin on it -- better hours and pay on the Fraud beat, plus he won't get shot at from behind his desk. LaGuerta laments that he hates sitting behind a desk, but Angel counters that he loves being with her. And she shouldn't beat herself up about telling Matthews about them. Just once, I want a show about a cop who LOVES his desk job. It can be on after the show about the lawyer who always takes the plea bargain.

By Joe R

At couples' therapy, Rita weepily plows through half a box of Kleenex, while Dexter sits there nonplussed by all these weird emotions. Is it at all strange that Dexter hasn't tried to fake emotions of remorse, regret, and intimacy with Rita over these last couple episodes? Hadn't he gotten pretty good at imitating regular people? Whatever, I'll ignore those questions for the moment because I see their therapist is being played by Roma Maffia, a.k.a. Liz from Nip/Tuck! It's weird seeing her as a character who isn't being completely abused and humiliated. Dexter makes the mistake of thinking the apartment is the issue here, which leads Rita to be all, "See! See! He never listens and he's always up in his head, and whenever he speaks it's all lies." "Not...all lies," says Dexter, unexpectedly truthful. Rita brings up the dread specter of Lila, as if I wasn't already feeling hostile towards her, but Dr. Roma Maffia does interject that, given the Lila situation and the (supposed) drug addiction, she kind of knew Dexter was secretive before she married him. Can't go expecting men to change! She's got you there! Rita (sincerely) and Dexter (probably not sincerely) agree that they don't want to keep on making the same mistakes. Unless Dex can be completely honest with her, Rita doesn't want to stay together.

Back at work, Dexter's in that room where he bashes plaster skulls full of red goo in order to simulate spatter patterns. Which I've always been dubious of, to be honest. Wouldn't the blood pressure within a human head cause significant differences in spatter from a fake head with red corn syrup inside? I mean, whatever, it's a great and creepy visual, but it seems like shoddy police work. Anyway, so here's Dexter, cracking fake skulls like they're ostrich eggs, trying to see which kind of hammer Trinity used (they want to be able to track the purchase of the model number.) LaGuerta's getting impatient at Dexter's (intentional) slowness. What nobody expected, of course, was that Masuka would be having the week of his life. He shows up with a DNA report -- yes, that smudge Dexter found was cremated human remains (much like the ones we saw Trinity spread at the suicide-mom crime scene), including a bone fragment, and he was able to make out two strands of DNA, one from the remains, and one from the saliva used to get it to stick to the wall. Masuka's feeling it today. And not in the way he's usually feeling it. LaGuerta tells him to run it through their databases (though DVO says he's already checked and Arthur Mitchell isn't in any of the police databases).

By Joe R

Deb's at her desk, watching her phone ring and refusing to answer. Angel comes by and, not unkindly, asks for the Vacation Murders file back. Deb's apparently been poring over it, looking for some hole in Nikki's testimony. Nothing so far. Angel tells her she shouldn't even be here -- she's on sick leave. Of course, that'd be worse for Deb than getting shot again, so you can see why she lingers. She checks her messages and finds she has a returned call from a "Valerie Hodges," who has some information on Harry Morgan. And whether it's the prospect of actually finding out something about Harry she doesn't want to know, or Angel telling her to quit working already, Deb gets spooked and hangs up. Honestly, Operation Harry's Tarnished Halo is really not what Deb needs right now.

Back home, Dexter makes a concerted effort to share something honest with Rita. To really communicate with her. Only he can't settle on an appropriate topic that wouldn't scare her off or reveal too much of himself, and by the time he mentally settles on the subject of food, Rita's out of the room with a terse (yet ironic), "We're out of bread."

At church Dexter stares at the Family Trinity not at all conspicuously, and voices over his clear jealousy that he's been able to keep killing and keep a family all these years. Particularly when Dexter observes that Trinity's not faking it. He really is a caring husband and father. How does he do it? Dexter needs to find out.

Oddly, though Dexter certainly was ambling in his direction, it's Trinity who introduced himself first, as "Arthur Mitchell." "Kyle Butler," lies Dexter. Arthur hands Dex a flyer for "Four Walls, One Heart," a Habitat for Humanity knockoff that builds homes for the needy. When asked what brought him to the church, Dexter lies (though not by much) that his wife kicked him out and kept the kids. Arthur tells him he came to the right place.

At the Quinn flophouse, Christine works on her laptop, wearing the usual serious journalist's uniform of bra, panties, and a completely unbuttoned men's dress shirt. Quinn's fully dressed, which makes this scene both unfair and kind of like he's at a strip club. She asks him for scoop on the Vacation Murders case and then immediately tries to say she's not asking for scoop on the case. This is another character who's not being written with any intention other than for us to hate her. And, you know, I'll oblige, but I won't feel great about it. Anyway, what Christine really wants is an interview with Debra. She'll make sure it's a hero piece, et cetera, but Quinn manages to be resolute in the face of hot sex right in front of him, so I guess we need to give him some credit. He even pushes Christine off of him when Debra phones from out on the sidewalk. Sorry, ace reporter Porky O'Sexweapon!

By Joe R

Outside, Deb tells Quinn she wants to be an eyewitness against Nikki Wald. Even though she didn't so much eyewitness anybody. She says she has no doubt in her mind that Nikki did it. Quinn doesn't either, but he tells her if this comes back to bite her in the ass, she'll be finished. He adds that she shouldn't make this kind of decision while she's still so mentally fucked up. We see Christine's watching this all from Quinn's window with much sinister interest.

At work, Dexter continues to goldbrick the investigation so he'll have more time to take care of Trinity himself. Unfortunately, Masuka continues to have his Best Week Ever, as he reports back that he found "matching mitochondrial DNA" on the bone fragment and the saliva. "In English, por favor," Angel groans. Come on, Angel, you know. Mitochondria. They are the powerhouse of the cell. ...Okay, that's actually all I know. Masuka? "The killer is related to the human remains." While Dexter marvels thematically that Trin keeps his family with him wherever he goes (hey, no weirder than a glowing apparition of your dead father, right?), LaGuerta and Angel speculate as to whether this is Trinity wanting to get caught or just leave behind a legacy. Masuka wonders aloud why Angel's not working this case, and he and LaGuerta exchange busted glances before Angel brushes it off.

At Habitat for Inhumanity (...sorry, I kept trying for something better, but this is what we're left with), Dexter observes Arthur and marvels (he's been marveling a lot this week) that he's using the same hammer he killed Sandwich Guy with to now build a house for poor people. Dex also stares jealously at Arthur's family. Arthur welcomes "Kyle" to the project and, noting he came sans tools, offers him his very murdering hammer ("Generosity of spirit," Arthur says). There's no underlying creepiness to the way Lithgow is playing Arthur here, which maybe makes it even more creepy. They exchange small talk, Arthur revealing that he took his wife to one of these home builds on their first date, and the kids have grown up pitching in. Dexter is clearly envious. Though happy to have the hammer.

By Joe R

Dexter then spots a wicked hot young guy across the way and stares at him for a moment before joining him at the water cooler. Before we all get any ideas about this turning into a very different sort of show, we find out that this is Arthur's son, Jonah. Hellooooo, Jonah! Dexter pokes around (not like that), asking Jonah about family life, kind of desperately searching for some kind of chink in Arthur's family-man armor. But Jonah has only glowing things to say about his old man -- he even gave Jonah his old classic car. DVO is particularly envious. In one sketchy moment, Arthur walks by in the distance and stares, seemingly with disapproval, at this interaction. Jonah immediately hops away, noting "Dad's not a big fan of idle hands." Before we start to ponder what Jonah does with his idle hands, let's move on to the scene.

Debra, accompainied by off-kilter angles and a dreamlike unsteadiness, visits Nikki Wald at her jail cell. Nikki's crazy strung out and, all things considered, might be in a more chaotic state than Deb is. Once she realizes Deb's after a confession, Nikki starts rocking back and forth, repeating her claims of innocence. Debra has her come closer to the bars, so she can see her eyes. Nikki delivers her alibi once again -- she was with Johnny, getting high, watching porn, fucking. Just your normal evening at Martha Stewart's house, really. "I didn't shoot you, all right? I didn't kill that old man!" Understandably, Deb snaps right around "old man" and reaches through the bars and grabs Nikki around the neck. "I'm gonna say I saw you," Deb whispers into her face, as Nikki advances the theory that somebody else wanted them dead. Deb calls Nikki a "nasty piece of shit" who killed her own boyfriend, then shoves her back into the cell. Nikki resumes crying and unraveling, then she points at Deb and says, "If you say you saw me kill Frank Lundy, then YOU are the liar!" Debra, shaken, backs away from the cell.

Meanwhile, LaGuerta goes to Matthews and requests to be reassigned elsewhere in the department. She couches the request as a career-advancement thing, mentioning perhaps a gig as Press Liaison. But once she mentions that, oh by the way, Sergeant Batista could stay in homicide as well, Matthews is pretty well onto her ruse. Still, he'll take it under advisement.

By Joe R

Dexter returns home to Rita snottily saying, "Please tell me that's the last of your stuff from the apartment" and then rolling her eyes when he says it's not. Of course, then Dexter makes the total rookie mistake of being too obvious about trying to buy your family's love, as he hands out a Nintendo DS to Cody, a DVD player to Astor, a "My Dad's a Geek" bib to Harrison (okay: aw), and for Rita...a breadmaker. You know, because she's always saying they're out of bread. Okay, officially, this is a bonehead move by Dexter who (let's be charitable) doesn't realize how transparent he's being. But also, given how insufferable Rita's been lately: HA! Yeah, you're complaining about bread so much? MAKE SOME. Oh man. Dexter, that is terrible. Heh. Then again, Rita's reply to Dexter's "We're always running out of bread," is: "We're always running out of milk, did you get me a cow too?" Point: Rita.

And, to Rita's credit, she tells Dexter she appreciates the effort, but what she'd rather have is just one honest conversation. She takes his hands from across the table. Once again, DVO takes over and starts agonizing over how people just do this -- talk spontaneously without careful concern not to give themselves away. He ends up taking too long, and the strain is too visible. "How hard can it be??" Rita explodes, and she takes Harrison out of the room. On this level, it's hard not to grant Rita her point: it shouldn't be this hard to just talk about things. Particularly when she has no idea how deep Dex's pathology runs.

Angel shows up at LaGuerta's house just as she's lighting some romance candles. She's celebrating her awesome decision that lets Angel stay in homicide. She doesn't want to tell him the part about her getting transferred, but Angel's not dumb. He figures it out almost immediately, and while it's sweet, he can't let her do it. So we're at a Gift of the Magi-style standoff, each one wanting to lay down for the other. "What do we do?" asks Angel, but neither one knows.

The day, Dexter stares at Trinity's DNA map-out on the computer screen, and Masuka thankfully interrupts before DVO can get too self-pitying about "What is it about Arthur Mitchell that makes him a better family man than me?" Masuka says the mitochondrial DNA turned up female. Dexter wonders aloud why Trinity would carry the ashes with him and concludes that it's because whoever this relative was, she helped in making him the killer he is today. Masuka, meanwhile, relates this to how his mother breast-fed him until age 6, and now no one else can measure up. Once again, Masuka: Ew.

By Joe R

Dexter heads out into the bullpen to hand LaGuerta the hammer model that was used for the murder. (I'm assuming he went and bought one and didn't hand over the actual murder weapon.) He says he needs to cut out early to deal with a personal matter, and these days, LaGuerta is more than sympathetic to such a concern.

Meanwhile, Quinn checks in on Deb and asks if she still means to testify against Nikki. Deb says she changed her mind and thanks Quinn for talking her out of it. Lucky for Deb, she's moved onto a new obsession: Maybe Nikki Wald really didn't kill Lundy. She went and checked Lundy's personal effects and saw how much of his Trinity-hunting materials were missing (absconded by Dexter, in fact, but she doesn't know that). Quinn, as ever, is dubious about this whole Trinity thing and tells Deb she needs to drop it before she drives herself crazy. Deb's all, "I'm gonna end up going crazy about something, why not this?" Paraphrasing, but that's the point. Quinn backs away slowly.

Angel and LaGuerta show up in Matthews's office having made a decision: They're no longer seeing each other. They've signed affidavits to that effect, insuring the department against legal action. So there should be no reason to keep either of them out of Homicide. Matthews stresses that if this is just a lie to get him off their backs, it'll have repercussions. Career-ending-type repercussions. Angel and LaGuerta appear resolute. Getting off the elevator back down in Homicide, they part with some tension, LaGuerta repeating, "It's over." Is it, Maria? Is it? (No, seriously, is it?)

Dexter's back at his Murderer Pad, staring at the last few boxes yet to be moved. These would be the most Dark Passenger-intensive items: the Trunk O' Murderin' Tools, the Box O' Blood Samples, various articles of clothing (murderous clothing, no doubt), and Lundy's research on Trinity. DVO muses that if he doesn't find a way to successfully hide this stuff, it's all over for him. Turning back to the Trinity stuff, Dexter gets an idea. He does a records search for obits where the deceased was survived by Arthur Mitchell. He comes up with three: Vera, Marsha, and Henry Mitchell. Vera: Arthur's sixteen-year-old sister who was found dead in a bathtub. Marsha: Arthur's mother, who jumped to her death off a bridge. Henry: Arthur's dad, who was beaten to death in an alley. Well, that all fits really, really neatly, doesn't it? Not sure why Dexter's so floored (he is literally lying on the floor right now), given the pedestrian nature of this discovery. DVO notes how Arthur's easy symmetry to his killings reflects Dexter's own: He saw his mother get cut up, now he cuts people up. Fair enough, DVO. Looking over his blood slides, Dex pledges to find where Arthur keeps his own incriminating artifacts.

By Joe R

After an afternoon at Habitat for Inhumanity, the van drops everybody off in front of Arthur's house. Dexter follows him back to his garage. He brandishes a box-cutter, like we really think he's gonna off Tinity in episode six. Instead, he uses it to cut his own hand, the better to use as a pretext to getting inside Arthur's house. Arthur goes to get the first aid kit and instructs Dexter to make himself at home. Dex scopes the place out, the wall of family photos, the washer/dryer unit, the lamp (DVO grumbles that Arthur has a place to put his lamp). Then Dexter comes upon it: a wall adorned with plaques from each of his Habitat for Inhumanity builds. Each one corresponding to a city and year that the Trinity killings took place in. It's a bingo! DVO connects the thematic dots for us: These are Arthur's equivalents to blood slides, and he's keeping them not locked up in a secret apartment, but out in the open. DVO's been much more effective this week when it's been sarcastic and bitchy, so I just wish he'd bust loose with a "Jealous!" and get things over with.

So now that he's seen Trinity's trophies, I guess Dexter figures it's time to rattle the man's cage (shades of Officer Zoe the Family-Killer). He spots a flowery urn on the table in front of the plaques, the nameplate revealing that the ashes belong to Arthur's sister. DVO notes, humorously, that the ash supply has gotten low after 30 years of being left, bit by bit, at crime scenes. Arthur calls for "Kyle" from another room, and instead of scrambling to look innocent, Dexter instead picks up the uncovered urn and turns to anticipate Arthur. He wants to see what happens to Arthur when his "weak spot" is exposed. Arthur rounds the corner and freezes when he sees Dexter with the urn. He walks right up to Dexter, carefully takes the urn and puts it back on the table...and then SLAMS Dexter up against the wall, his forearm on Dex's throat. "Don't! Touch! My sister!" he wails, clearly dipping back into unhinged territory. Dexter struggles to breathe, and after a moment, Arthur releases him and apologizes.

By Joe R

Dexter's all "What the hell?" and Arthur explains, perfectly honestly, that he lost his sister when he was very young, and it was especially painful for him. Dexter, honest in spite of himself, says he can understand; he's lost people too. Arthur sits him down to tend to his hand, and Dex asks why he keeps the urn out, if it's so painful. "Because she's a part of me, Kyle," Arthur answers. "Makes me who I am." And how! But what if his family saw him flip out like that? "They'd understand," Arthur says. "This is my home. I can be myself here." Okay, now Dexter might just squeal "Jealous!" out loud. Arthur says he used to be secretive -- even lost a relationship over it (wonder if that fine lady will factor into the season somehow?) -- but he met Sally and realized he had to jump in with both feet. Both bloody feet. 'That saved your family?" Dexter asks. Arthur stresses to "Kyle" that his family saved him. Then Dexter rushes out to purchase a Dictaphone, because he's got some notes to take.

Before Dexter heads home, Arthur tells him to hold up. He places his murderin' hammer into a bag of tools and hands them to Dexter. A gift, "for the build." Arthur sends him on his way, until the build.

Back at therapy, Dexter has taken the lessons from the murdering psychopath to heart. He wants to jump in with both feet, he wants to let Rita in, but he doesn't know how. "I never learned," he says. This whole scene is fairly fascinating, because it's Dexter being as honest as he can, maybe as he's ever been with Rita. And yet still, he's got things he needs to hold back. So is this Dexter being "honest" with Rita? Or is this Dexter just getting better at lying while seeming to tell the truth? Rita says she understands, given his past. She reveals to the doctor that Dexter's mother was murdered in front of him. Whether Dr. Roma Maffia does or does not make the "ka-ching!" cash register motion with her arm, I can't say. But I can say Dexter looks fairly freaked out to have that information just linger out there for anyone to see. He admits that it shaped who he is today. But he wants to change. (Again, this feels true...to a point.)

Dr. Roma Maffia asks Dexter if he feels afraid to get close to Rita. Dexter: "Yes." Because of his past. "Are you afraid she'll abandon you?" she asks him. Dexter: "Yes." This bracing honesty lands with Rita. "If she ever sees me for who I am..." Dexter begins. Rita is incredulous that Dexter thinks she would leave him. "Absolutely," he says. Rita says she married him because she wants to know the real him. Hmmm. One would hope the marriage vows would come after one feels they know who their prospective spouse really is, but okay.

By Joe R

Dr. Roma Maffia presses Dexter to tell Rita why he really kept his apartment. Here's where things get a lil' bullshitty. "Because...I need...space?" Dexter says. "To keep...my stuff?" Technically true, but he's also searching for something that will sound honest more than actually is honest. Hilariously, Dr. Roma Maffia interjects that Dexter means he needs space for himself within the marriage, and Dexter is like, "Yeah, that too, but speaking literally, I have shit that needs a place to get set down." At this point, Rita's so pleased with the honesty (or the illusion of honesty) that she's more than willing to give Dexter all the space he needs. Dr. Roma Maffia seems to view this as an unqualified success!

Back at the Mitchell household, Sally is taking a bath in what appears to be skim milk, when Arthur sneaks into the bathroom. The soundtrack plays it as very sinister, but it's actually just a husband wanting to join his wife in the tub. Sally remarks that he's always doing this, though she clearly doesn't mind. He steps in (bringing Naked Lithgow triumphantly back into our lives), and as he arranges himself behind her, it becomes incredibly apparent that this tableau is identical to the scene he sets for his bathtub killings. As is the case with the best Trinity/Arthur scenes, it's deeply, deeply creepy. He even grabs a hand mirror so he and Sally can look at each other in their bliss. Sally, I should mention, is played by uber-character-actress Julia Campbell, who you've seen at least once provided you've watched any television show in the last decade. Off the top of my head, she played the teenage gymnast's mom in the first season of In Treatment, though the role I most remember her for is Jerry's girlfriend in the "Frogger" episode of Seinfeld. Anyway, check out her IMDb page sometime. It's a clinic in how an actress can stay remarkably employed and yet incredibly anonymous.

The water in the Mitchell's tub dissolves into the milk carton in Dexter's kitchen, which grosses me out to no small degree. Dex is pouring himself a coffee when he's joined by Deb, who looks remarkably less like a 10-car pileup. It's because she has renewed purpose: Nikki Wald didn't kill Lundy, Trinity did. She's basing this off of her assumption that Trinity stole Lundy's research, so she's right (or so we're all assuming) for being wrong. Either way, Deb's psyched that she can track the cocksucker down herself; she doesn't have to feel helpless anymore. DVO is annoyed that he now has to plan Trinity's death and worry about Deb getting too close. But it seems like he's taking the path of least resistance for now. Deb says she's not taking the case to LaGuerta yet. She wants to make sure first, "don't want to step on my dick." (Aw, Deb, you ARE back on track!)

By Joe R

Oh, and also? Deb thinks she's found the name of the witness Harry was fucking, way back when. Dexter's ears definitely perk up to that little piece of information, but Deb's holding off on elaborating for now. "Don't want to step on my dick there, either." Dexter sighs the sigh of a man whose life could explode on any of a million fronts.

Deb leaves, only to be replaced by shiny, happy Rita. She leads Dexter to the yard, where, joined by the kids, Dexter places the final touches on what appears to be his Shed of Solitude. No idea why his Shed of Solitude needed to be painted every shade of the LaGuerta Pastel Rainbow. (Though, I will say, it's not nearly as screamingly queer as the barn in these photos.) Inside, Dexter's able to set down his Trunk o' Murderin' Tools, and we see they've even installed an air conditioner, the better to keep his Box o' Blood Slides. I start to question the need for A/C in an exterior shed before I realize it's Miami and I'm surprised their faces haven't melted to the ground yet.

DVO blathers on about evolution and learning to be more "myself" around the fam. Rita has one more thing for Dexter: a padlock for the shed. Dexter faux-protests that they don't need it, but Rita's resolute. They've got kids, and "there's dangerous stuff in there." Oh for Pete's sake, Rita, like they've never seen a BONE SAW before.

Joe R is only kidding. Kids don't get exposed to bone saws until high school. He can be reached for confirmation of the legal age of Trinity's son at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.

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