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Alma is quite full of herself over the initial success of her bank. Uh, she's also full of dope, at least enough to take a considerable edge off. Trixie's on to her.
Adams begins his middle-man duty between Al and Hearst, but the current concern on everybody's mind is Dan's beef with Captain Turner. Al wants Dan to be cool about it, and not strike against Turner, but of course, that's impossible. The conflict nags at Al so badly he has to not only return for counsel to his old friend Chief Head in the Box, but E.B. as well. He gets no real help from either of them and reluctantly gives Dan the go ahead for the Dority/Turner cage match. PEOPLE, they go at it and THERE IS EYE GOUGING. SERIOUSLY, DAN PULLS OUT TURNER'S EFFING EYEBALL. Okay...okay...I am still not over it. Dan finishes the sea creature off, victorious.
Steve cleans up and acts right for about three minutes, long enough to sign off on all the livery bullshit in synchronization with Hostetler. He demands as part of the deal that Hostetler return the chalkboard he signed as protection against the future, and the whole thing goes impossibly sour. Hostetler can't stand it any longer and kills himself. Dammit. I renew my sworn duty to kill Steve.
Alma steels herself with the juice to make some moves on Ellsworth. He is freaked out by it, but gives it a shot, though when he realizes she's not sober, pushes her away.
Hearst gets drunk to assuage his Turner pain. Bullock chooses this moment to get real mad about the recent Cornish deaths, and arrests him. He marches him through the thoroughfare, holding him by the ear. Things are about to get interesting. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Con Stapleton is in the Bella Union bathhouse...well, he's...sigh. You know, I'd rather see Al suffering with gleets the size of Volkswagen Beetles than open an episode of Deadwood with Con Stapleton mashing and manhandling the corpulent bosom of...some big, naked lady. I presume this is a Bella Union prostitute, though she looks almost exactly like Claudia who, we found out in the last episode, lowered her expectations of life enough to get it on with Con.Cy comes in during some truly embarrassing boob strangling -- he's considering, he says, making Con his go-between in the upcoming Hearst dealings. "I'd need to know my man had discipline," he says, visibly nauseated, "and appetites in fuckin' harness and the like." Con regrets that he must decline. "Yesterday, I occasioned to fuck a woman after a considerable period of abstention," he explains, with shame. "And that seems now to have throwed me unawares, uh, into a fuckin' spasm of sex interest, which I fuckin' pray will be brief." Cy goes pale under the three inches of Cornsilk on his face. "Well," he says, grossed out, "I believe I'll defer enlisting you in this other aspect." Best Cy dialogue yet this season. Con agrees that this is a prudent decision and Cy beats a hasty, disgusted retreat while Con goes back to his...jug juggling. Aw, hell. I had to.
Speaking of go-betweens, Adams is doing his duty for Al right now over in Hearst's rooms. Titus Welliver (I LOVE YOU) was born to be in Westerns. He looks great in the beard, the clothes, the posture, the strong-silent thing...the guy just rules. Early on, I thought this character was a bit superfluous. I mean, why add to the perfect mixture that is W. Earl Brown and Sean Bridgers, Dan and Johnny, when the two of them are so fantastic? It's gilding the lily. But clearly, it was a good move. Adams possesses a patient sophistication the others do not and in this scene tries to use it to flim-flam Hearst, albeit to limited effect. Hearst notes that Cy and Al seem to have some ugly history between them and Adams shrugs, saying he wouldn't know. "That feels to me less than a full verity," Hearst says. Adams gives him a tired look. "I don't know what that means, Mr. Hearst," he says, flatly. Hearst explains that he doesn't believe that Adams isn't fully aware of Al's relationship with Cy. "Yeah," Adams admits, "I guess so" and asks if Hearst is looking for him to declare his loyalty to him, and dump Al, because, if so, that would be an even bigger lie. "So, I'll have to win you away," Hearst smarms. "I guess so," Adams answers. All this dancing is too much for Captain Turner, who finally has to interrupt with his own agenda. "Go tell your friend I know he's afraid of me," he says, leaning over Adams, who remains cool. "Dority?" he dryly confirms. "Big guy?" Captain Turner scoffs. "I guess he looks big to you," he says. Adams, bored, turns back to Hearst. "Is that what you brought me here for?" he asks. "You want me to take that back to Dority?" Hearst: "I guess so."
Things continue to go wrong. So, so very wrong -- the Captain drags Dan to a particularly nasty mud puddle and shoves his face in, holding it down to drown him. Dan's on the ropes, people. Things are about as bad as they can get. Johnny and Adams are near vomiting. Al hangs his head in silence. And the Captain...well, here is where he makes his fatal error. Oh, yes. He looks up to Hearst on his roof for the "finish him" signal, but even as he receives it, Dan rallies. Somehow, he flings himself out of the mud hole, gagging and coughing and when Turner crawls after him, Dan makes his big move, by which I mean HE GOUGES OUT TURNER'S EYE. No, wait, let me try to make it more clear. The Captain has two eyes, right? And they reside inside his skull, you know, where eyes BELONG. But, Dan, see...he PULLS ONE OUT. And it is HANGING THERE...on the OUTSIDE of Turner's face, for all the world to see! Oh my Gaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhd the screaming that goes on! The Captain screams. I scream. My husband screams. Even our dog covers his eyes. Dan, barely on his feet and covered in blood, stands to face Al. At this point, his options are limited -- leave the one-eyed Captain to scream in the street, or finish him off. Al continues his stony stare, in which Dan must find the answer he's looking for -- he picks up a big log and beats Captain Turner to death.
Holy shit, W. Earl Brown. Long may you reign.
What follows is some thankless material involving the amusing theater troupe. Too bad they had to come right after that fight, thus making it completely immaterial. They are cute and everything -- the awesome Dennis Christopher, who plays Bellegarde, looks so much like Roddy McDowall that it freaks me right out -- and I think the actors are great, but...well, come on. Dan just ripped out someone's EYEBALL.
Adams and Johnny are having some recovery shots that night when Doc comes in to ask if Dan is receiving yet. "Broken bones mortally interfering with organs is what I would like to rule out," Doc says, and Johnny goes to the back to check on Dan and finds him, sitting naked (!) on a stool, trembling. He tells Johnny that he doesn't need the Doc. "Come on, Dan," Johnny protests. "Let him look at you. He come back special." Dan's pissed, though, and...can it be?...kind of crying. "You heard what the fuck I said," he snaps. "He wants to poke around in some innards, tell him to work on the one I killed." Johnny is at a loss. He offers him whiskey, but Dan shakes his head no. "One of the girls?" he tries . "There's a clamoring line to see to you." Dan isn't interested in any of this and just wants to be alone. "Get the fuck out of here, Johnny," he repeats, and Johnny goes out, where he shakes his head "no" at the Doc. "Listen for raspy fuckin' shallow breathing in the course of the fucking night," Doc advises. "Him going blue too, would hint to you to fucking come get me." Yeah, no joke. Johnny says he definitely will, and Doc leaves him and Adams to continue their vigil. Upstairs, Al lurks over them, watching.