The episode everyone's been waiting for (read: "dreading") is, apparently, finally here.
Previously on Dawson's Creek: Joey and Pacey smooched at a really awkward angle; Dawson -- hold onto your hats, folks -- bitched to the Flash that Pacey stole his girl, and that it hurts; Joey told Pacey that "dealing with Dawson is a reality for" her, and Pacey reminded her in turn that "the guy hates" him and he can't fix it, so Joey sputtered that he could try; Jen said, "Oh, hello, messenger" to Jack, and then killed him; Joey said that she and Pacey spent three months at sea, but didn't come close to weathering the storm. Of clichés. And skillets. And anvils. And the tidal wave of Maalox that I pray envelops Manhattan in a swamp of cherry-flavored stomach-soothing goodness.
Fade up on English class, with the teacher calling The Two Gentlemen Of Verona "not one of the Bard's best, but an interesting apprentice piece nonetheless." As he walks the room all John Keating and talks about Silvia as an early version of Juliet, we pan to the back of the room, where Drue "But Soft, What Shite Through Yonder Window Breaks" Valentine plays with Joey "My Mistress' Eyes Are Nothing Like The Spine" Potter's hair. Joey whips around and tells him to knock it off, or time she'll "draw blood." We're waiting, girlfriend. Drue adopts a butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth mien and tells her, "It's your own fault -- I'm new here, and you're not being very nice to me." Joey mutters, "I'm not trying to be." Drue points out that Joey's not "very popular," so she can turn around now: "You're of no use to me." Joey sets her jaw and prepares to deliver a stinging retort, only to get busted for talking by the teacher and asked to share with the class "what The Two Gentlemen Of Verona is all about." Joey cringes and stammers for a moment, and the teacher tells her to speak up because he doesn't "speak mumble," and Joey rallies with, "It's about a girl who comes between two guys." The teacher makes a joke about Two Guys, A Girl, And A Pizza Place which, while probably funnier than any of the jokes on that show, doesn't get so much as a pitying chuckle from the class. Or from the recapper. The teacher asks what Joey thought of the play, and she dismisses it as unrealistic, characterizing Valentine as a "cardboard-cutout hero" and saying that Proteus "is unfairly painted as a villain." A few seats over, Dawson "Titus Foreheadicus" Leery shoots her a "whaaaaat?" look as she finishes, "I just think these scenarios are actually a lot more complicated," a comment Dawson responds to by snorting aloud. The teacher urges Dawson to elaborate on his "little chortle," and Dawson reluctantly does so, flicking his eyes at Joey intermittently while saying that he doesn't think the play's about a girl coming between two guys, but rather about the friendship between the two guys. "Which fails when the girl comes between 'em," Joey sneers.
Dawson corrects her that the friendship fails because one betrays the other: "Proteus is a lousy friend." Joey points out that "Valentine isn't such a great guy either," like, welcome back, Potter, and she goes on to say that Valentine is fixated on his honor, to the exclusion of everything else. Dawson scoffs that Valentine "was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice" in giving up the girl he loved, and does Joey "think that's a bad thing?" Joey arches a brow and tells him that the situation isn't that black-and-white. Hey, wait a sec. Do you think the writers want us to draw a parallel between The Two Gentlemen Of Verona and the Dawson-Joey-Pacey situation? Because you can totally draw a parallel, because the writing in both of them sucks ass. See what I did there? Anyhow, Drue raises his hand and suggests that he would love to see Dawson and Joey "engage in a prepared debate about the merits of the play," prompting a confused glare from Dawson and a hissed "would you mind your own business?" from Joey, but the teacher loves the idea, saying he's never seen so much "heat" generated out of one of Shakespeare's worst comedies. Drue smiles evilly, but the smile fades when the teacher suggests that Drue throw his own viewpoint "into the mix." Dawson smiles wryly. Joey gives Dawson a melted-wax-face look of apprehension.
Cat getting sucked through a straw.
Capeside scenes, then a dissolve to the Ryan Home. Jen "Shall I Compare Thee To A Mack Truck?" Lindley wanders through the hall; a moment later, Grams "All's Well That Ends With My Foot In Your Ass" Ryan appears and dryly observes that it's almost time for her to pick Jen up from school. Heh. Jen says she's only an hour late, which doesn't even break her record. Grams observes primly that "skipping school is no way for a young lady to handle her problems." Jen smiles that she had "a lot of angry femme music to get through this morning," and she resents the interruption, but Grams doesn't think that's funny, telling Jen that "those songs you listen to only exacerbate your sadness." Jen says that she's not sad, but rather "currently in the thick of pissed-off," and Grams huffs, "Good -- then you'll recognize my attitude if you pull this routine one more time." Hee! More back-and-forth, Jen continuing to tease Grams and Grams stressing the importance of "fall term" in terms of Jen's future. Grams winds up by announcing, "I'm hereby putting a forty-eight-hour cap on your melancholy." Snerk. Jen laughs in disbelief. Grams tries to give Jen an umbrella even though it's sunny out, saying that it's "a red-letter day in the Farmer's Almanac," and Jen smiles patiently as Grams puts the umbrella in her hand. Aw.
Capeside High hallway. Joey slumps out of English class; Dawson follows her and asks where she wants to "do this." Joey asks if he's "okay with this," but Dawson doesn't want to "debate the awkwardness of the situation"; he just wants to get it over with. I hear that. Joey has to work, so they'll have to meet at the Yacht Club. Dawson asks if she can "focus" there, and she says yes, "the place is a tomb on Thursdays" except for one old "geezer" who comes in for the prime rib special. They share a friendly chuckle at the expense of the elderly, but then Dawson sees Pacey "But By Heaven, The Forums Think His Love More Fair" Witter approaching, and bolts. As Joey makes an "oh brother" face, Pacey comments that Dawson "couldn't have hightailed it out of here fast enough," and they kiss, and Joey snarks that Pacey isn't exactly in a hurry to start a convo with Dawson his own self. Jen, standing behind Pacey, remarks that eventually one of them will have to break the silence; Pacey watches Dawson walk away and says, "But not me, and not today. Today, I am celebrating," and he and Joey put their arms around each other as he announces that he got "his first A." Um, hello? Continuity editor? Can you hear me? Because Pacey got an A in "Sex, She Wrote," and promptly freaked out and it caused a big old contrived fight between him and Andie. Look it up. ANYway, Pacey wants to celebrate by taking Joey out on the "True Love" since it's the last nice day of the season, but Joey has to rain on his parade (geddit? Rain? "The Storm"? Anyone? Okay, sorry) by saying that she'd love to, but she has a project to do, and it's due tomorrow, and…it's with Dawson. Pacey's face freezes. "It wasn't planned, it was assigned," Joey says hastily, but Pacey isn't mollified: "Well, isn't that cute." Jen, still standing nearby, breaks in before it can get ugly and suggests that Pacey take her out on the boat instead; maybe it'll cheer her up. Everyone seems down with that solution. Some banter about seasickness before we go to the scene.
A shot of geese heading south for the winter. Dissolve to McPhee Manor, where Andie "Festus" McPhee asks Jack "Some Are Born Gay, Some Achieve Gayness, And Some Have Gayness Thrust Upon 'Em" McPhee if she should wear her hair up or down. "Don't ask me hair questions," Jack grunts impatiently. No comment. Andie whines at him to help her, then decides to wear it down. Clan McPhee expositions for us that Andie has a college alumni interview for one of her safety schools. The alum? Drue's mom, a.k.a. Non-Liz Non-Claiborne. I will point out here that, if Andie applied early to various schools as certain spoilers have suggested, she'd already have turned in her applications for those schools. I will also point out that I have seen overweight house cats less lazy than these writers when it comes to this stuff. Whatever, moving on -- Andie bends over to gather up a stack of notebooks and gets a noticeable head rush, and Jack tells her to sit down and asks if it's "that new drug she started" that's making her lightheaded. Foreshadowing cracks open a delicious diet cola. Andie sits, and says that "Nardil" -- which, to the writers' credit, actually exists and is actually used in the treatment of depression -- is working better than the other medications she's tried. She's taking it as a preventive measure, apparently; Jack asks if she's okay with that. Andie says that it's a little scary, but her doctor recommended "an extra line of defense" in times of stress. Jack jokes that she could always try his "tactic" of forgetting he's a senior. Andie sighs that she "wasn't born with those genes" and gets up to primp, asking how she looks. Everyone on the forums yells out, "Thirty-five!" Jack gets up to rub Andie's shoulders and says, "Like you should be interviewing her."
Reunion Ranch. Mitch "Flashstaff" Leery and Gail "Faithless Hussy" Leery slog down the stairs. Dawson comes in the front door and thinks aloud that now his father has gotten sick, and Flashstaff says that he's come down with "the sniffly part," and Gail, who's perfectly coiffed and wearing a metric ton of frosted lipstick despite her illness, grunts that she's "still got that nauseous part." Ruh-roh! Does Gail have a little Flash in the, uh, pan? As his parents flop down on the couch, Dawson suggests that "maybe if [they] kept [their] tongues out of each other's throats [sic] for two seconds," they'd stop passing the bug back and forth. Gail grabs Dawson by the collar, hustles him out onto the front lawn, and hammers him into it head-down with a bedroom slipper. And then I woke up. Actually, Gail just grumbles that Dawson should take a good look because "this is marriage," and hands Flashstaff a Kleenex. Dawson makes another snide comment before informing them that he has to go down to the Yacht Club to do a project with Joey. "Are you okay with that?" Flashstaff asks, and Dawson whinily wonders why everyone treats him like his head "is gonna spontaneously explode" every time Joey's name comes up. Well, maybe because if your head explodes, everyone on the Eastern seaboard gets coated with gore, Greasy Miyake, so they find the prospect of such an explosion extremely worrisome. Gail settles for cracking, "Because it did." Heh. Three months ago, Dawson grumps, and that's years in "teenager time," and Joey has her life and he has his. Shut up, Dawson. "And Pacey?" Gail wonders. Dawson busts on her for "joining" Flashstaff in "the great Pacey Watch 2000," but he doesn't have any updates, except that Pacey hates him now for telling Joey about the failing thing, which Dawson explicitly blames on Flashstaff. Ye gods and little fishes, Dawson -- shut UP. Flashstaff semi-rolls his eyes and tells Dawson that he "did the right thing." Oh, he washed his hair? Because I couldn't tell. Dawson semi-rolls his eyes back and asks if they need anything before he leaves, and Flashstaff asks him to close the windows in the back, "the wind's starting up."
Fade to the mildly choppy high seas, and a long shot of the "True Love" accompanied by The Clarinet Of Pathetic Fallacy. Jen comments that Pacey must have had a hard time turning the boat around and coming home, which Pacey terms "an understatement." You can forget the world "out there," Jen says; Pacey bitterly comments that yes, you can almost forget the fact that your girlfriend has elected to spend the afternoon "with her ex-soulmate." I don't even know what to do with that, so I'll just leave it alone in favor of mopping up the arterial blood that has begun to trickle out of my left eardrum at the mention of the word "soulmate." Jen tells him that she's the last person Pacey should have taken out on the boat, and Pacey snorts and asks if she's ever seen Doug in a Speedo. Heh. More self-pitying talk from Jen about how she's not the one to talk to about maintaining a relationship, bling blah blah. A wind crops up. Jen asks if Pacey checked the weather. Pacey did check the weather, and the storm is headed up the east coast, "but it's gonna pass us right overhead." That doesn't sound that comforting to me, but what do I know? Anyway, cue the Loveboat-esque seafaring trumpet, followed by a funky time-lapse shot of clouds taking over the horizon.
Yacht Club. In the empty dining room, Joey, Dawson, and Drue sit at a table. Drue takes a call on his cellphone, saying, "Hey gorgeous," and Joey stares daggers at him while Dawson mutters, "Unbelievable," and I have to agree, since Drue's line is so very pseudo-playa tired, and Joey corrects Dawson, "Unacceptable!" and grabs the phone from Drue and tells the girl on the other end that Drue will get back to her "when the syphilis clears up, 'kay?" and hangs up on her. Deep in the remains of Joey's spinal column, two bone-marrow cells hook up and formulate a plan. Drue and Joey bicker about who's ruder, and Drue makes a big old point of noticing the "sexual vibe" between Joey and Dawson. Drue? Stop it with that. "Must be the Star Wars thing," he says, clarifying for Dawson that "you're obviously Luke to this Pacey guy's Han Solo" and "the stuff of pre-teen daydreams -- cute, smart, non-threatening," and I'd take seeeerious issue with the "cute" element there, but anyway, Drue adds that, unfortunately for Dawson, Joey's in "her bad-boy phase." The comparison, while imprecise (not to mention overly precious), is actually fairly accurate, I think. Dawson can't believe what he's hearing; Joey tries not to jam her notebook into Drue's nostril. Joey suggests that Drue plays the Jabba the Hutt role. At least she didn't suggest Vader. The two of them sneer at each other. Drue gets up and walks off.
A man comes in and clears his throat; Joey greets him as "Mr. Brooks," and he does a little gruff schtick before mentioning that he wants to get his boat home before the storm. "Storm?" Joey repeats. Mr. Brooks sarcastically defines "storm" for her.
Joey goes over to the bar and tells Drue that Mr. Brooks told her "there's a storm coming." Duh, Joey. Didn't you see the previews? Drue watches a Pamela Anderson Lee movie and cracks wise. Joey grumpily tells him to let her know if he hears anything more about the weather, but Gorgeous calls him back, so Drue misses the weather scroll across the bottom of the screen that says the storm is headed straight for Cape Cod.
I like Gilmore Girls fine, but they really need to ease up on the promo rotation. Like, yeah, she wants to be her daughter someday. We get it.
In the Yacht Club library, Non-Liz Non-Claiborne compliments "Andrea" on her outstanding academic record. Andie thanks her, and says that just "Andie" is fine. "Oh, a nickname. How charming," NLNC oozes. They sit on a tufted leather couch, and NLNC asks what Andie thinks she'd like to study, and Andie says she'd like to study everything, at least in the beginning, and "you can never underestimate the value of a well-rounded liberal arts education." Sure you can. Just ask my English degree, which I recently used to relight the stove. If you could have dinner with one person, living or dead blah blah blah Andie's extracurriculars blah blah blah "I see only one red flag here" blah blah blah uh-oh-cakes. NLNC spots the medical leave on Andie's record, and Andie tries to sidestep the question by saying that she made up all her finals and her grades didn't suffer, but winds up having to admit to "emotional problems." "Emotional problems…so this was a mental illness," NLNC purrs all cat-that-ate-the-canary. "Would you like some tea, dear?" "Sure," Andie chirps, trying to hide the fact that she looks worried.
Joey rambles on about Valentine and Proteus coming "to some mutual understanding," and she sounds inches away from tears. Dawson interrupts to grumble that "we are trying so hard not to talk about Pacey" that it's becoming "the subtext" of the play for them. Well, yes. And, duh. Also, shut up, Dawson. Dawson suggests that they "get it out in the open, once and for all." Taken aback, Joey shrugs, "Okay, let's." Dawson levels a gaze at her: "Pacey and I are not gonna be friends again. End of story." He goes on to say that he knows everyone thinks it's time they made up, but that's not going to happen. "Well, since you brought this up -- why not?" "What's done is done," Dawson nostril-flares. Joey snorts, "After ten years of friendship, 'what's done is done'?" Dawson corrects her, "No, after the greatest betrayal of my life, what's done is done." Dawson? You're ONLY SEVENTEEN. Pacey didn't name you in a RICO indictment, for God's sake. Climb to the top of that mountain of pomade you apparently keep in your bathroom and GET OVER YOURSELF. And SHUT UP. Joey points out that she played a part in that betrayal, and Dawson says that that's different, because she apologized and showed remorse, but "Pacey could care less [sic]," and that's not the kind of person Dawson wants as a friend, so everyone else needs to "accept that reality and move on with their lives." Joey shakes her head and smoothes her hair; Dawson says they can start moving on by talking about the play "without referencing" Pacey. A thunder crash startles Joey, and she distractedly nods in assent. He asks her what's wrong, and in response, she gets up, saying, "I'll be right back."
Joey rushes over to the bar and grabs the TV clicker. More bickering between her and Drue. Mr. Brooks wants his check. "Just a second," Joey tells him, searching for a weather report on the TV. Mr. Brooks wants his check "this instant." Joey asks Drue to get Mr. Brooks his check. Drue snarks. Joey splutters. Drue gets the check with much put-upon mugging. Perfect Storm-y meteorologist's report.
Out on the boat, Jen yells that she thought Pacey said the storm would pass them by. Pacey thought it would, and yells at Jen for using up the batteries on the portable radio so that now they can't get a storm report. Jen yells back that if he had any music besides crappy Zeppelin tapes, they wouldn't have needed the radio. Pacey runs around the boat, winching things or whatever, and says he'll set the course, and then they'll get on the VHF and get a weather reading. Jen hollers that he'd never admit that it's "getting scary" out there. Pacey scoffs that he's seen worse. Jen asks where, "The Perfect Storm?" At least The Perfect Storm had decent eye candy, whereas this just has…wet Dawson. Uck. Anyway, Pacey reassures her that they'll get a weather report and "go around," whatever that means, and then a big old fake wave hits them and shorts out the VHF.
Close-up of tea pouring. Andie rambles on about her greatest strength, tenacity, also by coincidence her greatest weakness, blah dee blah. NLNC asks if she doesn't consider her illness a weakness; Andie considers it a strength, because it taught her the importance of asking for help. She notes that "we seem to keep coming back to this topic." NLNC, who smells blood in the water, smarms, "Is that a problem?" Andie says no, not at all, PSA-ing that "most teenagers go through similar experiences" and "it's nothing to be ashamed of," but she'd rather emphasize her academic accomplishments and not let her illness define her. NLNC suggests that, although Andie might consider herself recovered, she might do better "in a less competitive environment," like a state school. Oh, that's nice. Way to slam people with depression and public education, NLNC. Andie asks in disbelief if NLNC thinks that Andie's academic achievements mean nothing because of one problem she had in the past, and NLNC folds her arms, narrows her eyes, and tells Andie to consider the position she's put NLNC in -- she has to evaluate Andie's ability to handle a high-pressure collegiate environment, and her name "is on the line." Andie gets to her feet and says that NLNC is right, her background does have a bearing on how she can handle college, but a positive one -- she admitted she had a problem, she got help, she recovered, and she thinks that makes her even better able to face the pressures of college. Throughout Andie's speech, NLNC sucks her teeth and looks condescendingly skeptical. A thunder crash. NLNC wishes Andie "all the best…and now, if you'll excuse me," and turns on the TV to get the weather report as Andie glares at the back of her head.
In the bar, Joey, and Mr. Brooks watch the same weather report. Mr. Brooks is crusty. Joey is freaking out. Dawson slams by, snarking at Joey that if she wants to work later, she can let him know. She stops him: "They're out there." "Who's out there?" Pacey and Jen went out in the boat. Dawson sighs, "All right -- no wonder you've been so out of it," and asks why she didn't say something an hour ago. "It wasn't this bad an hour ago!" Jack tumbles in the door, all wet (go ahead…say it…all righty, then), and asks if they've seen Andie, and Andie comes in from the other door as Jack says that "it's really getting ugly out there," and Andie comments that it's not half as ugly as her interview, and then a burly guy comes in behind Jack and asks Drue, "Where's your mother?" and NLNC comes in behind Andie and asks Burly Guy what's the matter, and he gives her a bullet on the boats -- he's secured all of them except three, and those three have radioed their positions in, but they'll need assistance into the harbor. Joey asks if one of the three is the "True Love," and Andie gasps, "The 'True Love' is out there?" More freaking out regarding which slip Pacey uses and how Bruce hasn't heard the "True Love" mentioned on any of the radio bands and Joey knows it's definitely out there, and then a branch blows in through a window and everyone ducks away from the breaking glass, and there's a close-up on Joey looking terrified.
Rain-swept streets of Capeside. Non-special-non-effects shot of a boat that's about three times bigger than the "True Love" pitching to and fro on the CGI waves. Pacey confirms that the radio is "blown." Jen's "supposed to be on watch," but she snaps that "there's nothing to watch out there but water." A wave knocks them both off their feet, and Jen wails that the boat's going to capsize, but Pacey says that it won't, "she'll come over, that's what she does." Whatever. The boat rights itself, and Pacey hands Jen a life preserver and says he has to go trim the mainsail. Jen asks if that won't just slow them down, and Pacey says that they're not going back into port, "it's too dangerous," so instead they'll head for a little cove he knows about and ride out the storm -- he doesn't know its name, but he knows how to get there. Jen isn't having it, asking how he knows about it and how long it'll take to get there and what if the storm gets worse. Jerking down the sail, Pacey yells that it won't get any worse. "PACEY!!" a fed-up Jen yells. Pacey explains that, if it gets any worse, "they'll send someone for us," but Jen isn't having that either, bellowing that they don't have a radio and he doesn't even know the name of the cove: "Who the hell is gonna find us there?" Pacey turns around and yells, "Dawson!" and as we begin a weirdly-timed fade-out to commercial, he shouts, "Dawson will know!"
A sopping-wet Bruce reports that three boats are waiting for an escort at the mouth of the harbor; an equally sodden Dawson reminds him that he just said "that none of those boats are [sic] the 'True Love.'" Bruce tells him impatiently that "if your friends are out there, we'll get 'em back safe and sound." Joey tells him that Pacey wouldn't risk his boat to bring it into harbor in this weather, and Bruce counters that "no sensible person" would stay out in the storm. Dawson looks at a map and finds the cove off of Crescent Island where he and Pacey "weathered out [sic] a storm once -- that's where he is." Didn't we establish in "Show Me Love" that Dawson doesn't know how to sail? Did he just tag along with Pacey that other time? The hell? Bruce mutters that, at this point, the cove won't offer Pacey much protection, and Dawson asks how Pacey's supposed to know that, and Bruce snaps, "How could he not know?" Joey says that obviously Pacey's radio is broken, "that's why no one has heard from him," but Bruce tells her he isn't sending someone out to sea in hurricane-force winds on the strength of Dawson's hunch. "But you have to listen to him!" Joey pleads. Bruce sighs that he'll bring the other three boats in first and then, if they still haven't heard from Pacey, he'll send someone after Pacey and Jen. "But what if it's too late?" Joey whines. That's all Bruce can offer right now, he's sorry. Bruce goes back out into the storm. Joey goes to the door and looks out; Dawson stares at her, looks down, then flaps an arm in the direction of the map and says firmly, "They're there." "Well, what can we do about it?" Joey says. "Go get 'em. Now," Dawson says, shifting into Non-Quiet Non-Hero mode, and asks if anyone has a boat he could borrow. Joey thinks NLNC has a spare set of keys to all the boats moored at the club. "Which is why it's always a good idea to be nice to Mrs. Valentine's little boy," Drue says from the doorway. Joey stares helplessly at him; Drue lets her hang for a moment before suggesting that Dawson try Slip 41, the "Artful Dodger," and warning Dawson not to let "the old geez" see him. He hands Dawson the keys. Dawson takes them and shoots a "okay then" look at Joey, who shoots a "phew" look back.
At sea, Pacey and Jen continue to holler and struggle while production assistants throw large buckets of water at them.
"I'll radio in as soon as I know something," Dawson shouts, heading for the boat. Joey chases after him, saying she's not letting him go without her. Dawson nixes that idea, but Joey screams that "my boyfriend is out there, and whatever your reason --" "Is my reason!" Dawson interrupts. Joey grabs his arm and yells that she won't "worry about the both of you!" Dawson blinks and absorbs this, then gives in: "Let's go!" They board the "Artful Dodger," and Dawson starts giving orders. Because he…knows how to sail…now…or something.
In the marina office, Andie asks if they've seen any sign of the "True Love." Joey's voice comes back -- they can barely see in front of their boat. Andie asks for their location. Joey says that they're not lost (heh), and Dawson calls out the coordinates as the camera pans over the fake water to the fake "Artful Dodger" pitching and rolling in the fake rain; Mr. Brooks, sitting to Andie, gruffs that "that's ten miles north of Kalispell, Montana." Andie asks for the coordinates again, and repeats the message, asking, "Dawson, Joey, are you still there?" but the radio has gone out.
On the "Artful Dodger," Joey tries to raise the signal, to no avail: "We've lost them." Lightning. Fake waves. "That's all right, we're almost there," Dawson says. How does he know? "Trust me," he says, squinting through the mop of split ends pasted to his face. "There they are!" Joey calls out, pointing, and Dawson confirms that "that's them" and announces his plan to come alongside and tie the boats together. "Careful, we're gonna hit!" Joey calls. "[Crashing]," closed captioning tells me, and there's the sound of wood splintering.
Inside the "True Love," Jen gets knocked over and says she thinks they hit something, and Pacey corrects her that "something hit us," and he helps her up. Overhead shot of the two boats beside each other as Pacey says, "It has to be Dawson." Deck shot; Joey and Dawson run out onto the deck of the "Artful Dodger," and Joey calls to Jen and Pacey to ask if they're all right, and Jen calls back, "Now we are," and Dawson throws a rope to Pacey to secure the boat. After more waves and yelling, Jen jumps over to the "Artful Dodger." Then it's Pacey's turn, and Dawson urges him to "come on, let's go," but Pacey starts untying the two boats. Joey screams, "Pacey, are you crazy?" and Pacey yells back that he's not leaving his boat. More yelling. He's not leaving the boat. Dawson, nostrils billowed out like a topsail, shouts, "I'm not leavin' you!"
Grand gesture time as Dawson leaps over to the "True Love" and lands on Pacey like a ton of bricks, and Pacey yells at Dawson to get off of his boat. Dawson won't let Pacey do this. Pacey roars, "Get off! My boat!" Joey bleats. The two boys wrassle. Dramatic cellos. Fake rain. Dawson saying people care more for Pacey "than they do for this damn boat." Cue the echo-chamber effect as Joey shouts, "Pacey!" And into slo-mo we go for Pacey's Realization That Material Things Don't Matter. Pacey locks eyes with Joey as she squints against the rain and stares beseechingly at him. Still in slo-mo, still clinging to each other's jacket front, Dawson and Pacey leap all Lethal Weapon back into the "Artful Dodger."
A few minutes later, in the bow, Joey sits beside Pacey and follows his gaze to the "True Love," which gets further and further away as they head back to dry land.
I'll still see it, but damn, Book Of Shadows: Blair Witch Poo looks super bad.
Time-lapse of the clouds and rain peeling back to a starry sky and calm breakers. Dissolve to the "Artful Dodger" drifting into port and various people running down the dock to greet the boat. Gail bitches Dawson out for his recklessness, but then Flashstaff has to go and add, "And we've never been more proud of you in our entire lives." Shut up, Flashstaff. Don't encourage him. Grams gives Jen a huge hug and utters many "thank God"s, but Jen points out that "it's Dawson you should be thanking" (as I do for my ulcer each week), which prompts Grams to wrap Dawson in an equally huge hug. Mr. Brooks approaches Dawson and gives him guff for the gash in the boat's hull. Dawson apologizes sincerely, but Mr. Brooks grumps that "the gash is still there, and 'sorry' isn't gonna fix it," and he keeps on in this vein until Dawson tries to placate him by saying he has some money he saved for college over the summer. Grams, who has come up beside them, stares at Mr. Brooks in frank disgust before telling Dawson, "Which is exactly what you will keep on doing!" And now it's time for Grams to punt Mr. Brooks for the field goal. Let's go to the helmet mic for Grams's speech: "That boat is a thing, a replaceable thing. This young man risked his life to save my granddaughter, and the fact that you can't appreciate his courage explains to me why you've lived alone all these years in that Godforsaken house, and if I find out that you let him dip into his college fund, I will personally -- kick your shriveled old butt." And it's three points for Team Ryan! Woo hoo! Grams shoots Dawson a "don't thank me now" look and stomps off to the car. Mr. Brooks looks scared, as well he should. Dawson, trying not to burst out laughing, meekly hands Mr. Brooks the keys to the boat and slinks off.
Inside the club, Andie and Jack wearily head into the bar area to collect their things. NLNC calls to Andie and tells her how she impressed NLNC with the way she handled herself that day. "Thank you," Andie snorts wearily. Jack points out that "she did more than handle herself, she handled the whole club." Andie smiles at Jack as NLNC acknowledges that Andie "did a fine job." "Yeah, she did your job," Jack snarks, putting on his jacket -- zing! -- and Andie grins even more broadly and tells him that they should go. NLNC says quickly that "the University will be very interested to hear my impressions of you," and Jack turns around and tells NLNC with a fake smile that he's sure the University will also "be interested" in hearing "what a bitch they have representing them." Tee hee! Then Andie says sardonically that she's very sorry, but NLNC should understand the position she's now put Andie in, thus turning NLNC's own line around on her. The McPhees make to leave. "You wouldn't dare," NLNC hisses. Andie turns around and says that no, she wouldn't, because she's "nothing like" NLNC and derives no pleasure from wielding "whatever little power" she has over other people, so NLNC should just go ahead and write whatever she wants, because if anyone at the University knows NLNC half as well as Andie does, "it's not gonna count for much anyway. Come on, Jack, let's go." NLNC glares at them; Jack gives NLNC a victorious "that's my sister" look as they leave.
Down at the dock, Joey asks if Pacey has any idea how pissed off he's made her. Pacey sighs that the best memories of his life went down with the boat, and "it represents everything that's good to me in this world," so she'll have to excuse him if he's having a hard time with losing it. "No, I won't excuse you," Joey snaps, continuing tearfully, "I don't think I've ever been so scared for someone in my whole life!" Pacey regards her gently. She drops her head and begins to cry. Pacey says quietly that he's sorry he "put [her] through that." Joey shakes it off: "Just…can you do me a favor? You know, in the future, when you're…dealing with life-and-death matters, um, remember that you're thinking for two." My first thought when I heard this line, and the first thought of several people on the boards: "Pacey's pregnant all of a sudden?" Pacey smiles that he can do that. They hug. Joey cries some more. Pacey rests his head against hers. Joey pulls away and gives him a teasing look: "So, you knew he was gonna come for you, didn't you?" What makes Joey say that? "Because you know him just as well as he knows you. It's the nature of best friends." Whatever, Joey. Pacey feels the same way; he looks away and sets his jaw: "Mmm. No. Ex-best friends, now." Joey says that, whether he and Dawson hang out or not, "he's still a part of you, Pace. How can you be whole if you continue to pretend that he doesn't exist?" Oh, PUH-LEASE. "Be whole"? He's not a kidney, okay? He's DAWSON, and despite recent minor improvements, he still sucks. Pacey mulls. More canoodling. An ovary makes its entrance on the soundtrack.
Gail and Flashstaff find Dawson leaning on the SUV and watching Pacey and Joey walking arm-in-arm to Joey's truck. Flashstaff leans to Dawson: "Doesn't seem fair, does it?" "What's that?" "You save the day, you still don't get the girl," Flashstaff grunts. Shut UP, Flashstaff! Don't encourage him! Please! So he went out after them -- big whoop. The storm had nearly blown itself out anyway, obviously, and besides, he's still a fugster with a disproportionate regard for himself. STOP FEEDING HIS EGO. Flashstaff says that maybe Dawson got something more important. Dawson asks how Flashstaff figures that, and Flashstaff goes all commencement speech: "You have this moment. No matter where your life takes you, you can look back on it and know that you did a great thing. That's something that all the girls and all the thank-yous in the world can't replace." Dawson, as usual, accepts the praise as his rightful due, gazing silently at his father, then over at Pacey and Joey kissing to the truck, and then he snorts and says, "Let's go home." Flashstaff gives him The Manly Shoulder Clasp Of Comfort and they get in the car. Pacey closes Joey's door and looks over at the SUV.
As the Leerys head off, Jen congratulates Grams on kicking Mr. Brooks between the goalposts, saying she always knew Grams had it in her. Duh, Jen. Read the recaps. She jokes that, when they get home, she has some angry femme music that Grams will love. Grams chuckles patiently and puts her handbag on the hood of the car and scrabbles through it for her keys, but she can't find them, and she gets more and more agitated; Jen grabs her hands: "Grams -- Grams, Grams, Grams." Grams stops, and sighs through tears that she thought she'd never see Jen again. Jen strokes her back and tells her it's okay, but Grams says, "No. No, it's not 'okay,'" and adds that she couldn't stop thinking of what she'd have to tell Jen's mother. Jen says softly that Grams handled this "much better" than her mother ever would have. Grams puts a hand to her chest and says that she's never lost herself like this before, and in spite of all her talk of faith, "I had none." Jen tells her that maybe she "lent it to" Jen: "I was terrified out there tonight -- but I still had hope, you know? So I figured that I must have gotten it from somebody." Grams is touched, and her face crumbles as she looks at Jen. Awww. Jen hands her a Kleenex, and Grams wipes her nose and sighs, then chuckles and shoots Jen a sidelong glance before saying slyly: "Does this mean I can count on you for church on Sunday?" "Not unless you want that place to fall down," Jen smiles. "Just thought I'd…give it a try," Grams smiles back. They hug tightly. Sniffle.
Jen goes back into the club to get Grams's keys. Drue comes into the room behind her. She turns around. They stare at each other. Jen, curling her lip: "What are you doing here?" Drue, happily: "What are you doing here?" Jen lives here; she has for the past two years. Drue heard that Jen's parents "banished their bad seed," and says that it's good to see her; Jen hopes he'll pardon her if she doesn't say the same thing. "Jennifer Lindley, the girl who set New York on fire," Drue intones. Whatever. She's not Nicky Hilton, writers. Drop it. Drue goes on to say that he thought moving to Capeside "was gonna be the most miserable mistake of my life," so I guess we can infer that Jen's presence mitigates that misery somewhat. "I'm sorry, you live here now?" Drue tells her to "sound a little more upbeat" when she says that: "A guy might take offense." "Drue Valentine in Capeside," Jen smirks. "God help us all." Okay, so I guess he didn't grow up in Capeside after all, but since he's not in the opening credits, I don't have to care.
Fade to the day on the Leerys' front lawn. Dawson, clad in the customary XXXL cargo cords and giant long-sleeved tee, clears off branches as Pacey comes up the lawn. Dawson catches sight of him and pauses, and Pacey stammers that he thought he might come by -- "Pacey, you don't owe me anything," Dawson says, evidently eager to get rid of him, but Pacey says that they both know what Dawson did yesterday…"was exactly what you would have done," Dawson finishes flatly, sounding almost angry about it. "Maybe, maybe not," Pacey mumbles. "Trust me, you'd've done exactly the same thing," Dawson grunts, hurling branches onto the compost heap. Pacey hopes that's true, but he wanted to say thank you. Dawson nods and says with effort, "You're welcome," but there's something else Pacey wants to say to Dawson. Dawson pauses, rake in hand and an impatient look (and way too much blush) on his face. Pacey says heavily that he knows things between them "are pretty much beyond repair right now," and he wouldn't presume that one conversation could fix that "'cause…that's just not the way it works," but he wants to tell Dawson that he's sorry. Dawson looks down, brow furrowed, as if he doesn't understand; Pacey goes on to say that he's sorry for the way things went down the spring, "for my part in it, for the pain that it must have caused you," and for ruining the friendship, "because I miss it. Badly." All right, everyone knows how I feel about Dawson's so-called "friendship," so I won't belabor the point. Suffice it to say that I don't understand why Pacey would miss an absentee friend like Dawson who only patronized and insulted him when he bothered to pay attention to him in the first pl -- oh, there I go again. Sorry. Anyway, Pacey knows it might not happen for a long time, but he does look forward to the day when he and Dawson might become friends again, "so, until then." He looks at Dawson with tears in his eyes. Dawson looks up and says hoarsely, "Until then." Dawson swallows, sighs, makes a "wow, didn't see that coming" face, and goes back to his yard work as Pacey strolls away down the lawn.
time: Joey gets ripshit, and Drue gives Jen two hits of Ecstasy in gumball form. Like the man said, "Until then."