Props to KR and Sars.
After all the usual filler, we're in the Sanctum Dawsonorum looking at a dartboard as Pacey "Choice of a New Generation" Witter starts rambling on about how "darts could be [his] destiny," and how he could travel around the world as a darts master. Dawson "What About Me?" Leery, sitting on his bed, ignores him, forcing Pacey to turn the subject of conversation to Dawson himself. Dutifully, Pacey asks what he's doing. Dawson says, "Yeah, I've re-watched a bunch of movies I think really delve into some complicated relationships. I'm trying to, you know, write some complexities in the characters in my movie. Layer them a little bit." Pacey throws his darts, then wanders over to the side of the bed, looks at a video and asks, "What's The Great Santini?" Dawson answers, "Classic dysfunctional father-son relationship," and smirks, not feeling the slightest awkwardness about saying so to Pacey even though, if they've been friends all their lives, he must know that Pacey and his dad have problems. How? Because the viewer knows it, because Pacey isn't terribly reticent about talking about it, so that the only way Dawson wouldn't at least know that Pacey feels that he and his father don't have a great relationship, whether or not that's empirically true, is if he were too self-absorbed to pay attention when Pacey talks about anything other than Dawson himself. And before I go on, I want to register my irritation at the way other movies are used as intertext on this show. Yes, I understand that the character of Dawson is supposed to be a film buff. Yes, kids who fancy themselves the future directors of America would have occasion to watch a lot of videos, particularly if they work in a video store. That's fine. What I object to is the way the writers on this show will name-drop a movie as lazy shorthand for some idea they want to get across. How do they signal that an episode will prove that Dawson is a good guy of the old school? Show him watching Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. How do they signal that this episode is going to be about father-son relationships? Mention The Great Santini. Considering that the show's target audience hasn't even heard of these movies, much less seen them -- even citing Footloose was a reach -- the only real purpose it serves is to irritate the older viewers who would have been able to make those connections on their own, without the writers' hinting. Anyway, I just couldn't let that pass without comment. There are less hackneyed ways to do the postmodern thing.
So anyway, Dawson says that crap about The Great Santini and Pacey says, "That's a father who thinks his son's a screw-up, huh?" Dawson says, "Pretty much." Pacey says, "Yeah, well, you can skip the Blockbuster [inaudible -- sounded like "mump," actually], Dawson. You're going to get plenty of insight into that on our little fishing trip this weekend." And we have a winner in the category of "Most Contrived Piece of Dialogue"! Dawson scoffs, "Oh, come on!" Pacey shoots him a sidelong glare. Dawson smirks some more, and allows, "Granted, your father's a little tense, but you tend to exaggerate just a little bit." Um, yeah, because Dawson's the one who lives with Pacey's dad, and he would totally know.
Dawson goes on to say, "The Great Santini bounces basketballs off his son's head to make a point. At least your father respects you enough not to do that." By the way, that last line was delivered without irony, like Pacey should actually be grateful that, whatever else his father might do to him, he doesn't do that one particular thing -- the only kind of father-son abuse Dawson can even fathom, of course, because his only frame of reference for father-son abuse is that one particular film. DUH. Instead of socking him in the jaw, Pacey says, "Ah yes, respect. Do you respect your father, Dawson?" Dawson says, "I'd hate to live in a world where I didn't," without realizing that Pacey does live in that world. (I'd also like to add that just behind Dawson's left shoulder is a book entitled AMATEUR ACTING. And how.) Pacey says, "That's not an answer." Dawson asks Pacey if he respects his father. Pacey says, "Well, I mean, you know, John Witter. Most well-known, well-respected man in Capeside. Provides safety, fights crime, locks up the bad guys, helps little old ladies across the street [and didn't Pacey say that Dawson did the last of these things in the episode where they watched Mr. Smith Goes to Washington? Can't the writers come up with another cliche for "nice guy"?]. How could you possibly not respect a man like that." Dawson says, "That's not an answer either." Pacey chuckles. Dawson delivers the non sequitur, "Good, old-fashioned father-son fishin' trip. Why do I sense disaster?" Pacey gets up and says, "Tell you what. Why don't we let the darts do the talking, huh? If I can hit a bullseye with this dart, you and I are in for a weekend of good fun, big fish, good old father-son bonding." Then Pacey throws the dart -- and does so in a take so that you can tell it's actually Joshua Jackson throwing it -- and gets a bullseye. Dawson jumps off the bed and scrutinizes the dart board, gasping quietly. Dawson says, "Best two out of three." Huh?
Then the credits roll.
This week, Dawson's Creek is brought to us by a movie starring Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Powder in some kind of witch-themed love story. Whatever.
Back in Capeside, Pacey and Dawson are riding their bikes on a lane beside the ocean, and setting a horrible example for the show's myriad young and impressionable viewers by not wearing helmets. Kids, don't ever ride your bike without a helmet on, even if Dawson and Pacey made it look like it was okay not to. It's not okay, and it's not cool. Okay, PSA mode off. A cop car with its lights flashing and siren blaring coasts along behind them so they pull off the road to a little paved path as the cruiser pulls up and stops beside them. We hear, before we see him, Sheriff "Hard-Ass" Witter, saying, I guess by way of greeting, "Dawson Leery. Capeside's own cinematic wunderkind," and shakes his hand, and he actually pronounces it "VOONderkinn'd." I don't want to cast aspersions on the vocabulary of a typical small-town law-enforcement official, but "wunderkind"? Who the hell would say that? And when did any of your friends' parents ever give you such an elaborate greeting when they ran into you on the street, hanging out with their own kid? How much is it necessary for tertiary characters to praise Dawson?
Anyway, The Sheriff isn't finished, and says, "You aren't gonna go forgetting us when you become a bigwig out in La-La Land, are you?" I hate it when people call Los Angeles "La-La Land," and furthermore, what a weird thing to say. Can we assume that anyone who is watching this episode is aware of Dawson's career aspirations, and doesn't need to have the plot recapped Dawson's Creek for Dummies style? Dawson turns on his false modesty, looking down and chuckling softly, and answers, "I wouldn't worry about that, Mr. Witter." The Sheriff remarks, "I'm sure you'll come back and visit Pacey in whatever fast-food joint he's flipping burgers at." Pacey throws up his hands and says, "Hey, the Witters all come from a long line of illustrious professions requiring uniforms, right Pop?" Dawson grins without any evident discomfort at the conversation. The Sheriff ignores Pacey and says, "Dawson, I spoke to your pop. I expect both of you on the dock at zero-six-hundred hours. Now, come prepared both physically and mentally, because you are going to be fishing in the presence of greatness. We are going to bring back the tournament trophy, Dawson, or we are going to end our lives at sea in pursuit of the big one that got away." Dawson, whose hair, if you can believe it, looks worse than ever before, and appears to have been coiffed into pin curls all around his face, says, "Okay, well, I don't want to disappoint you, but my father and I are not exactly accomplished fishermen." The Sheriff laughs and says, "Dawson, I have no doubt that with your brain and commitment to excellence, you'd make a first-rate first mate." Dawson doesn't look sheepish or embarrassed at this tribute, and instead of saying, oh, I don't know, "Thank you," he nods once as if accepting it as his due. The Sheriff claps him on the back one last time and adds, "In the meantime, keep Pacey out of trouble for me, would you?" Dawson says he will. Pacey, who by now has put on his sunglasses and is slouching defeatedly, waits silently for The Sheriff to leave, which he does. "Aye aye, Capitan," Pacey mutters as the cruiser pulls away. Setting new records for the depths to which willful ignorance can sink, Dawson admiringly says, "Your father's classic, Pacey." Uh, would that be "classic" in the same way that The Great Santini is a "[c]lassic dysfunctional father-son relationship," Dawson? It doesn't appear so, as Dawson grins and squints after the departing Sheriff. Pacey once again opts not to deck Dawson, and says only, "Oh yeah, he's a classic, all right. The man thinks my I.Q. matches my age. D'you hear that crack about flipping burgers?" Dawson's grin does not dim by a single watt as he answers, "He was obviously kidding," like, yeah, Pacey, Dawson would totally know better than you would what your own father meant by that. Not. Pacey gets on his bike and rides off; Dawson hesitates just long enough to roll his eyes at Pacey's back, then follows.
At school, Joey "Sour Grapes" Potter is asking Dawson how the movie's going. Dawson launches into a laundry list of all the stuff he and Jen are working on now, and says, at the end of it, "realizing that the budget isn't really as big as I first thought it was." Uh, how big did you think $1250 was, idiot-boy? Joey says it sounds like the typical pre-production chaos. Dawson says that actually Jen has everything under control, that she's a trouble-shooting dynamo, that she's constantly "putting out fires before they even ignite." Joey guardedly remarks that, "She's never worked on a film in this capacity, I mean, how does she even know what to do?" as if, when Joey produced Dawson's first movie, she was a veteran with Shine and Dante's Peak on her C.V. Dawson says that Jen has an innate talent for producing, and that "it's causing me to step up my game as a director. It's great." But Dawson, how could any outside influence improve what was perfection to begin with? Gag me. Joey somewhat snottily says that it's a shame that Jen didn't produce Dawson's first movie: "Think how much better it would have turned out." Dawson puts on his sincere face and tells Joey he's not comparing Jen to Joey, and that working on his film with Joey was one of the best periods of his life. He's just saying that Jen's being good at producing is "a surprise, that's all." "Who would have thought?" Joey answers. At that moment, Jen "Di Novi" Lindley walks up and joins them. Dawson asks Jen if her ears were burning. Jen says, "Dare I ask?" Dawson says he was just singing her praises about the amazing job she's doing. Jen looks genuinely pleased and stunned and starry-eyed, and very quietly breathes, "Thanks!" Joey smiles reluctantly, and says, "I'll just leave you two professionals alone to collaborate." Jen says it was Joey she was looking for. Dawson takes off. Joey looks non-plussed. Jen says she needs Joey's help: "I promised Gale that I'd give her a hand on this news report --" Joey cuts her off with, "'Gale'? Mrs. Leery?" Jen says the Bride of Flash is "doing a news report on teenage girls as the new consumer phenomenon." Good thing that story isn't about nine months out of date. Whoops, my bad, it is (tm Sars). Joey unclenches her jaw long enough to quite frostily say, "Oh. So now in your spare time you're helping produce news reports for 'Gale'." Jen says, "Hardly. I mean, I wouldn't exactly say that. She's just letting me watch her in action, and pick up a few tricks of the trade." Joey nods and glares. Jen goes on to say that they're looking for girls to come by Dawson's house tomorrow. Joey says, "What, spill their guts on local television?" Jen sort of laughs and says, no, to talk about what it's like to be a teenager: "Joey, we really need girls who are thoughtful and articulate and nobody I know speaks her mind more eloquently and honestly than you do." Joey is unmoved by this and adds scowling to her standard glare, but says nothing. Okay, all together now: That Joey -- what a beeotch!
Then it's evidently the day because Dawson and The Flash are walking along the dock as baseball-cap-wearing fishermen mess around in various boats. The Flash is blathering on about the romanticism of the sea and after a lot of blah blah blah fishcakes concludes with, "Kinda makes you want to chuck it all and become a fisherman, you know?" Uh, Flash? "Chuck" what, exactly? Dawson chuckles condescendingly and says, "Fish is [sic] a viable career option for you now?" The Flash says, "Well, maybe." Dawson says, "What's , Dad, a fireman?" I guess that The Flash decides he doesn't have the upper-body strength to smack Dawson's enormous head, so he apparently ignores that and, since they've by now arrived at the Witter Whaler, says to The Sheriff, "Permission to come aboard, sir!" The Sheriff grants him permission and shakes both their hands. Dawson says "hey" to Pacey, who starts to muse...something (he starts out, "You know"), and then jumps up and says
Back in the Laura Ashley-influenced living room of the No-Fault Hacienda, the Bride of Flash is standing with a mic and asking what the most important issue facing teenagers is. She asks each girl in turn, none of whom has anything to say. The Bride of Flash takes Jen into the room and asks if Jen thinks it's the formality that's making them uncomfortable. Jen says she thinks it's having everyone in the same room that's making them uncomfortable. Fair enough, but you'd think Jen might have seen that coming, no? Back in the living room, Abby is putting the juvenile moves on the cameraman, saying the equipment looks really heavy: "You must be built Ram tough." The Bride of Flash and Jen come back into the living room and the Bride announces that Jen has a great idea, and it is that instead of doing the interview right away, they should spend some time "bonding -- you know, make it a Ladies' Night." Er. Abby says, "'Ladies' Night'? How long are we going to be here?" Andie adds, "Yeah, Abby's got to make the rounds on her broom." Abby replies, "And Andie's mom might start roaming the city foaming at the mouth." Andie turns on her but the Bride of Flash cuts the exchange off with a brisk, "hey, hey, hey," and tells them they need to get to know each other a little better and "connect with one another as women." Abby says, "Oh, Gawd, I'm gonna need a drink." I hate to say it in response to anything Abby has to say, but, Word. The Bride of Flash says, "No alcohol. But I do have enough junk food in that kitchen to fulfill anyone's cravings. And it's all yours if you bear with me." Nice to know that, post-Flash, Gale has yet to get over her Twizzlers fixation. And good thing this whole notion of girls bonding over junk food isn't totally clichéd. Oh wait, my bad -- it is.
Speaking of gender-based clichés, back at the father-son fishing trip, The Sheriff is yelling a pep talk at the rest of the crew about how this isn't a pleasure trip or a "Carnival Cruise," and that they have to work together as "a well-oiled machine" since "somewhere out there is a fish. A very big fish that's going to hitch a ride with us back to Capeside." As he yells, Jack morosely cradles a fishing rod, Pacey does something with lures (at least, that's what it looked like to me), The Flash takes pictures, and Dawson leans against the edge, doing absolutely nothing. The Sheriff instructs Dawson and The Flash to "work the [something] rigs, and says, indicating Jack, "Jackie Onassis there can handle the starboard poles with me." "That makes me the odd man out," says Pacey. The Sheriff glances at him, and then curtly agrees: "Yeah." Pacey says, "You know, Dad, I may not be a charter member of the national brain trust, but I think I know how to handle a fishing rod." The Sheriff takes him aside and says, "Pacey, I need you to do everything else. [Insert your own list of probably crappy nautical tasks here. I can't be bothered.] Your job is most important. Who do you think raised the flag at Iwo Jima, General MacArthur? No, it was the grunts." Pacey says, "Dad, we're fishing, not storming the beaches at Normandy." The Sheriff laughs in response. Pacey turns away and mutters, "This sucks." The Sheriff hears and turns on him, saying, "A lot of things in this life suck, son. It's my job to prepare you for that inevitability." Wing to Sheriff: Hey, could you go tell Dawson that? Thanks. Pacey says nothing. The camera cuts, for no apparent reason, to Jack, who suddenly starts scratching his ear like there's something there. Like what, writers? A BUG? It's obviously very cold where they are. Dawson watches Jack scratch and smirks at him. Uh, whatever.
t more interesting than himself. I. Just. Hate. Dawson. Jack drops his cue on the pool table and walks off. Pacey mutters to Dawson, "It's your shot." Dawson stares, his eyes flickering back and forth. "Could it be that I'm actually not the measure of all men?" he wonders to himself. "I wouldn't want to live in a world where I'm not."Back at the No-Fault Hacienda, the interview has resumed and Abby is holding forth on the subject of teenage girls, and not letting anyone else get a word in. She claims that teenage girls drive trends because they're insecure, and that thus they're easy prey for the media. "I mean, look around this room. Every one of these girls is incredibly insecure. I mean, I can't even speak my mind anymore without stomping on somebody's feelings. I make a cancer joke, and Joey gets upset. Or, I make a crazy joke and Andie gets upset. Or you make a crack about ho-bags and Jen starts humping the couch." Note to Abby: "Sensitive" and "insecure" do not mean the same thing. Jen says, "Oh, screw you, Abby." Abby says, "See what I mean?"
The Bride of Flash tells the cameraman to stop rolling, and addresses Abby: "I think that we've heard enough of your opinions, so, thank you for coming." She gets up and walks toward the door. Abby is incredulous that she's getting the boot: "What about sisterhood and all that bunk about female bonding?" The Bride of Flash says goodnight. Abby says, "What kind of journalist are you? Oh, I know: a trashy one that sleeps around," and stomps out. This last remark causes the remaining occupants of the room to look at each other with reasonable discomfort.
Back at the boat, Dawson walks across the deck and up on the dock to The Flash, who is unrolling a sleeping bag. Dawson asks The Flash what he's going to do. The Flash says he planned to sleep "right out here under the stars." Dawson explains that he was referring to the restaurant, the Bride of Flash, his life. The Flash says he wishes he knew. Dawson asks if The Flash is okay for money. The Flash says he is, for now. Dawson isn't satisfied, and decides once again to stick his nose where it really doesn't belong: "Dad, I gotta be honest. As glad as I am that we can have this father-son bonding moment, I would think a weekend fishing trip would be the least of your priorities. Shouldn't you be out trying to procure some kind of employment -- or at least establish a game plan?" Instead of employing his foot to kick Dawson's ass, The Flash replies, "I'm sorry you're disappointed in me. I want to be the kind of man that you can respect. But there must be something out there, mustn't there? Something for me? Something that I can put my heart and my passion behind? Now, I can't stop looking for that until I find it." Dawson stares at him dumbly.
In the bar, The Sheriff is totally wasted, holding three darts in his hand and asking Pacey where everyone went. Pacey tells him they went back to the boat. The Sheriff suggests that he and Pacey play a round of darts. Pacey says, "You're drunk, Dad!" In response, The Sheriff downs a shot, glaring at Pacey all the while. Pacey says nothing. The Sheriff says, "Look, Pace, I know you think I'm being hard on you. But it's my job to protect you." Then he gets up and goes over to the dartboard saying the usual stuff about seeing what Pacey can do, "youth against the master," blah blah blah fishcakes. They throw some darts, with a little trash talk in between, some of which, from Pacey, is, "Must be tough losing to your second-born, huh?" The Sheriff throws his last dart, evidently gets off a good shot, and then with far too much vigour, screams, "YES! Beat that." Pacey takes his place for his last throw. He gets ready, and with a confident expression, glances over his shoulder at The Sheriff, who is right in his face and glaring at him stonily. Pacey's face falls, and he throws, barely landing dart on the board. The Sheriff chortles, and very aggressively rubs Pacey's head and claps him on the back and shoves him, saying, "There's nothing wrong with losing, Pacey, as long as you do it gracefully." He staggers over for another drink, and while no one's watching, Pacey throws a bullseye. Of course.
At the No-Fault Hacienda, the lights are low, the fireplace is blazing, everyone has their shoes off and their feet up, and vagina music plays in the background. We get a sort-of montage of the girls' speeches nearly overlapping. Jen kicks off by saying that she thinks Abby was right, and that the reason teenage girls are such consumers stems from insecurity. Andie says she has a need to look and be perfect: "My homelife is in total chaos and I feel like if I get straight A's, or if I'm involved in every activity, then, you know, people won't know that I'm this fraud, and that I have no idea what I'm doing and where I'm going." Jen says that when she first came to Capeside from New York, she felt relief, and that "trying to compete in that hyper-accelerated world" had her in the "fast lane to self-annihilation," and that in Capeside she felt that she had nothing to prove, blah blah blah fishcakes: "But having all that experience just came back to haunt me. I mean, in New York I was the precocious ingenue. And in Capeside, all I'll ever be known as is the New York wild child and the town slut, the bad girl." Joey says that having someone come along who's had experiences and seen things she hasn't puts her on the defensive and that she thinks of herself as a small-town girl who'll live and die on the creek: "And, you know, as much as I completely disdain that identity, you know, it's all I've got. And I don't know, so if I ever feel like, you know, somebody is going to steal that measly bit of self that I have, or that small amount of love that I've somehow managed to accumulate, I feel threatened and I go for the jugular -- I admit it. I admit it." Jen looks sideways at her. Apart from the gimmicky look and editing of it, not a bad scene.
Back in Testosterone Town, Dawson steps onto the boat. Jack calls his name. Dawson dismissively says, "Jack, whatever it is, it's late and I've had enough drama for one night." Well, in that case, Dawson, better not create any more than you already have, you cretin. Jack says, "I think I'm going to be nauseous [sic]." At this news, Dawson smirks. Jack says that he's been fighting seasickness all day: "I've been trying to play cool, but ever since I stepped foot on this boat, I just want to barf." "I know the feeling," says Dawson curtly. Oh, shut UP. Dawson adds, "This isn't exactly how I envisioned this father-son outing," like, is that supposed to be sympathy? How about offering to help out the guy who's just told you he's in imminent danger of VOMITING, you self-absorbed little dink? Jack says simply, "Well, I wouldn't know. I haven't had a father-son weekend in a long time." Dawson knits his enormous brows at this and gingerly sits down: "Where is your dad, Jack?" Jack says, "I'll tell you where he's not: he's not here. Of course, if you ask my mother or my sister, they'll tell you he's up in Providence, taking care of the business. The truth is he's up in Providence because he left us." Sars tells me that, for people on Cape Cod, Providence is down, not up. I shall take her word for it. Dawson, as usual, makes it about himself: "I know how that feels." Jack disgustedly points out, "Dawson, your father moved up the street. My father's gone. Try and put that in perspective, huh?" Dawson rears up to deliver some scathing rejoinder, and yet, nothing comes. Maybe that's because JACK SHUT YOU UP. Please remain so until further notice.
On another part of the waterfront, Pacey has his arm around a pitifully staggering, very drunk Sheriff, who very quickly gets too heavy and collapses on the beach, grunting, "We've run aground!" Pacey looks down at The Sheriff, who is making little smacking noises with his mouth. Pacey says, "So. I guess this is as good a time as any to have that father-son talk. [Lowers his voice a register] So. How're you doing in school, Pacey? [In his normal voice] Well, actually, Dad, I'm doing all right. I'm really turning things around. Turns out I'm pretty smart. Maybe I'm college-bound. [Sheriff voice] Good man, Pacey. Always knew you'd turn out to be something. How're the ladies treating you? [Pacey voice] Ah. I met this woman. [Sheriff voice] Is she cute? [Pacey voice] Huh. Cute? Andie's beautiful. She's smart, she's funny. I'll tell you, this girl's really something special, Dad. For whatever reason, she seems to think I'm pretty special too. So why can't you see that? Hm? Why can't you see me, man? [Voice starts to break] When did you give up on me, when I was five? Hm? Ten? Twelve? I'm sixteen years old, Dad! And I'm here, and I'm not perfect, and I've tried so hard for you, I just [sobbing now]...it's your job. It is your job to love me no matter who I am or what I become, because you're my father! You're my dad! You're supposed to love me, you son of a bitch. I can't do this by myself." Nice job by Joshua Jackson selling that one. I just want the writers to realize that just because Joshua Jackson pulled that off doesn't mean they should see what kind of chops Van Der Beek has for this sort of thing. Ever.
Boat. Day. Line unspools. Jack doesn't know how to handle it. Pacey helps him. Jack tries for a bit, then hands the rod to Pacey. The Sheriff helps him reel it in. Everyone's excited. The Sheriff and The Flash, for some reason, hold Pacey's torso as he reels it in. The camera shows slo-mo reaction shots of everyone's face as Pacey works the line. Everyone looks excited except Dawson, who, I gather, is irritated that it isn't he at the centre of attention. At the end of it, Pacey triumphantly holds aloft what looks to me like a two-and-a-half-feet-long fish of some kind. Yay, Pacey!
Morning at the Hacienda. The Bride of Flash is still wearing the same clothes she had on the day before, even though it's her house. And she hasn't even taken off her blazer. Whatever. Anyway, she's thanking Joey for everything she did, and telling her it meant a lot to her for Joey to have been there. Joey says it was no problem and starts to go. The Bride of Flash says, "Um, honey? I have a confession. As I was listening to you girls talk so beautifully about your fears and your dreams, I started feeling a little bit sorry for myself." Joey asks why. The Bride of Flash answers not, "Because Dawson gets that from me," but, "I don't know. I think because I've always wanted a daughter. I mean, I love Dawson more than life," ("more than life"? That's a bit much, don't you think?), "but, you know, men are men, women are women..." "Right," says Joey. "The great divide." The Bride of Flash says, "But then I realized, I have you. You're my surrogate daughter, Joey. I have always felt that way, and, honey, I am so proud of the woman you've become." Joey looks embarrassed and pleased at this, and tucks her hair behind her ear, saying nothing. "Come here," says the Bride of Flash, and hugs her. Joey buries her face in the neck of the Bride of Flash, who strokes her hair. "Thanks," breathes Joey. "You're welcome," says the Bride of Flash. "Awwwwww!" say Sars and Wing. That was nice. I liked that.
Then Andie is coming out the front door, apparently happily enough, and then stops and looks quizzically at a figure sitting in one of the Adirondack chairs on the patio. As she comes up behind, we see that it's a scowling Abby, looking none the worse for wear for having spent the night outside in an Adirondack chair. As Andie's shadow falls over her, Abby flicks her eyes up, but says nothing. Andie asks what she's still doing there. Abby quietly says she's waiting for her mom, who thought she was spending the night. Wing Chun asks what prevented Abby, in the moment after the Bride of Flash asked her to go home, from asking to, I don't know, call for a ride? Andie asks if she's been out there all night. Abby says, "What do you care?" Andie readily admits she doesn't care. Abby grumbles, "I bet you don't." Andie, rightly, asks, "Well, Abby, what do you expect? I mean, your favourite pastime is making my life a living hell!" Abby says that's not what she does: "I play such a crucial role in this little circle and you guys are just too unimaginative to notice. I'm the girl everyone loves to hate. I'm the scapegoat. I'm the one you can take out all your anger and aggression on and never lose a moment's sleep over." Andie sputters for a moment and then tells her that she's got it mixed up, since Abby trashes them, and is mean. Abby yells that being sweet is boring, and then kind of starts to cry: "I don't have family lives like you guys! My mom isn't a lunatic! My dad isn't in prison! I'm not the prodigal daughter from New York. My parents' divorce is boring. My house is boring. There's no intrigue, no drama. So you know what? I create drama. And I think it's a valid extra-curricular activity." I think that if that's the most convincing motivation the writers can come up with, it may be time to fill out another application in another matchbook cover and take another "So You Wanna Be A Hollywood Hack" course. Andie tells Abby that she doesn't know how lucky she is, and that what she has is what Andie's always wanted: a normal life. Abby says, "Well, the grass is always greener, right?" "Interesting," says Andie. Abby says, "Whatever," and then notices that her mom's pulled up and says she'll see her in school. Then she offers her a ride. Andie takes it. "Whatever," indeed.
Jen stands in the window of the Sanctum Dawsonorum. Joey comes in. They both start to talk over each other, and then Joey says, "I've been thinking," and Jen says, "I've been thinking too," and Joey sort of yells, "No, I've been thinking more, okay!" and then they both chuckle. They both sit down on Dawson's bed, and Joey says, "I've been thinking that it kind of sucks that the people who I respect the most are the people who I've become most competitive with, and, um, I wish that there was some way to..." and trails off and Jen says, "You know, for all your thinking you're not being very articulate!" Joey closes her eyes and smiles and says, "I am trying to apologize here," and Jen says, "I know, I know, and I'm kidding. Joey, I'm sorry, I mean, I totally understand what you're trying to say and um, I think that you're right, I think that we have been locked at a stalemate for way too long, and, I think there's room in Dawson's life for me without replacing you." Joey says, "No, listen, Jen, you know, we can sit here and rehash all of our old problems and psychologically deconstruct all of our petty rivalries, but I guess what I'm trying to say is, is that I respect you. I respect who you are. As a person." Jen smiles gratefully and with some surprise, and says, "Thanks, Joey." Joey says, "Sure." Jen says, "You too." Joey smiles and looks down. Oh, okay, so the theme of this episode is respect. Got it. That scene was nicely done too, though it remains to be seen whether Jen and Joey will remember week that they made up this week.
Then Pacey and his big fish -- which now looks more like a three-footer -- are being feted in the winner's circle, and then Pacey and The Sheriff are handed a trophy. A bit later (I guess), Dawson and Jack shake hands and say goodbye. Oh, because they've had some kind of emotional breakthrough? Sorry, I don't think Dawson is that evolved, and I am positive that he won't remember that week. Plus he looks a little bit too pleased with himself for having overcome his anti-Jack feelings and shaken his hand, like, yeah, you're Gandhi. Behind him, Pacey and The Sheriff are walking through the crowd, and Pacey is saying, "I will never as long as I live forget the feeling of adrenaline that I got when I got that good, solid tug on the line and I knew that that fish had surrendered to the greater power." The Sheriff hands him the trophy and says, "Be proud of yourself. Enjoy this moment. You probably won't have many more like it." Ouch, that's gonna leave a mark. As The Sheriff struts off, Pacey slumps defeatedly. Dawson walks over and for once doesn't say anything. Pacey says, "Do you have any idea how many times I've set myself up for that one?" Dawson looks on grimly, biting his lip. Pacey continues, "I mean, over and over and over again, I just can't seem to stop myself from trying to get one unqualified 'Good job, son,' out of that bastard. I really must be a simpleton." Dawson says, "I know it's not the same, but there are people in your life who recognize and respect your talent and intelligence, and one of them's standing right in front of you. The other one is probably sitting in her bedroom right now having a perky coronary in anticipation of your return from sea." Pacey smiles at that one, and says, "Yeah. Yeah." He gets up and thanks Dawson. Uh, that was a pep talk? Forget your dad, you have two people who care about you? Nice one. And, Dawson, I think you count as a half.
Then it's night and Dawson and The Flash are at the No-Fault Hacienda getting Dawson's gear out of the back of The Flash's SUV. The Flash is telling Dawson that father-son relationships are "excruciatingly complicated" and that he's spent his entire life trying to understand the dynamic he had with his dad: "But I'll keep trying until the day I die to do the best I can -- to be the best father to you that I know how." Dawson says he knows, and thanks him. The Flash asks for what. Dawson says, "For allowing me to make a multitude of mistakes and never making me feel inadequate. I mean, I know that my ability to dream without boundaries [GAK] comes from you. And you never disappointed me, okay? I mean, I worry about you, but I respect you more than anybody that I've ever known. And I know, especially after today, how lucky I am to have you for a father." The Flash tells him to "C'mere," and Dawson tells him not to get all sappy on him, and they hug, and The Flash thanks him. They unclinch, and then The Flash starts to go up the stairs to the house, before Dawson, and then freezes, and they exchange a stricken, awkward look. I understand why the writers want us to think that was a big deal, but hello? The Flash and his Bride have a child, and they separated under pretty amicable circumstances, all things considered. I doubt that, if this were real life, a father wouldn't go into the house with his son and at least say hello to his wife of sixteen years. But whatever. The Flash comes back down the stairs and says goodnight and walks quickly back to his SUV. Dawson hangs his head, and gazes after The Flash, and goes inside, bringing my nightmare to an end. Note to the writers: please do try to make Dawson less hateful in the coming episodes, please?