Once upon a time on Dawson's Creek: people gave a shit
Joey sits and drinks coffee in a café somewhere. "It's true what they say," she voiceovers. "Time plays tricks on you. Memory is an unreliable narrator. History gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day. I can't say this is exactly how it happened, but this is how it felt. I just read a whole lot of Proust and think I'm a genius."
We lead from her voice-overing into a quick montage: Grams holds a rummage sale at her house in Boston; Pacey and Jack pack up their apartment and look sad; Joey waits on customers at Le Voice-Over Café; Audrey studies; Pacey returns home, where he's met by a perturbed but not entirely unwelcoming Deputy Doug; Dawson busses tables at Leery's House of Fishcakes.
Finally, Joey rows her little boat across the creek, voice-overing that, at last, summer has come and that they've rapidly assumed the position. Er, I mean, that they'd assumed "[their] roles in what had become an already too-familiar scenario." Whatever. It seems to me that, if you don't want to find yourself in an unpleasant and all too familiar position, then perhaps you ought to stop putting yourself in that position. Although I would like to note that Joey's hair looks far better than it did last week. Perhaps it's because she's pulled it back into a nice, smooth ponytail, but it certainly looks more like it's all one color. Anyway, Joey is still talking: "Pacey had fallen from grace, Dawson's dreams were dashed, and I was somehow in the middle of it, all over again." Sigh. Yes, Josephine, if by "somehow," you mean "because I refused to remove myself from the situation."
Joey climbs the ladder up and into Dawson's boudoir. She's still reciting her voice-over. "The triangle we had all tried so hard to put to rest had come back to haunt us," she continues. If, after this show is done, I never see a triangle again in my life, it will be too soon. There go all my dreams of becoming a geometry teacher. Joey asks Dawson if he needs her help, and, as she speaks, the soundtrack stops abruptly. That directorial decision always amuses me, for no really good reason. I also kind of laugh when Dawson leaps a foot and squeaks that Joey scared the crap out of him. She looks around at his half-deconstructed room/set, and he tells her that he's indulging in some "symbolic purging," since the existence of this bedroom/set was just mocking all of his tragically destroyed hopes and dreams. While he's bitching and moaning, Joey rustles around in his desk and comes up with some sketchy storyboards. She holds them up with a cocked brow and reminds him that she's "the artist." Since when? Nice attempt at continuity, though, writers: better late than never, I say! I salute your efforts. Dawson tells her that "that's the movie, shot by shot." Joey seriously tells him that he shouldn't throw this away, since he's going to need it, and then she's all, "blah blah, I am here to help you because I am Saint Josephine of Potter, Patron Saint of It, who can do no wrong!" and he is all "yada yada complain, complain, whine, complain, martyr, martyr, whine, complain, I hate Pacey, complain, whine, martyr, complain." Joey reminds Dawson that Pacey didn't lose all his money on purpose, and Dawson sniffs self-righteously. "It never is [on purpose], Jo. It never is. But it happens every time, and I don't need it anymore." As Joey tries to sputter something neutral, he snaps that he can't believe she's taking Pacey's side! "I can," the entire audience mutters, before getting up en masse for a sandwich.
Joey insists that she's not taking Pacey's side, reminding Dawson how much she loves his script. "It was real, it was the truth. It made everything we've been through seem somehow worth it," she tells him, saying that she still thinks they can make Self-Indulgent Vanity Project a reality. Instead of thanking her for her compliments and for believing in him, Dawson just brats that he never wants to see Pacey again as long as he lives. "You know what? I know you don't mean that," Joey says. Dawson snips that, actually, yes, he does mean it. Also, his entire life is a waste and he'll never make this film and his dreams are dead and he might as well tie an anvil to his left foot and throw himself in the creek because everything is over, over, over! He explains that Idiotic Rehash of the Five Years We Just Lived Through was "a celebration of friendship," and he doesn't believe in any of that anymore. No one loves him! Everyone hates him! He's got a delicious worm sandwich waiting for him downstairs in the kitchen! Joey assures him that he's just "hurt and pissed." But she's not going to let him give up. "I'm going to leave you to your sulking for now," she chirps, cheerfully. "But I'll be back. And I promise you, it's not going to be pretty. Asses will be kicked. Names will be taken. Until then, bye-bye, old chum." She waves, and leaves by way of the window. He just furrows his brow. It occurs to me that I've never had anyone crawl through my bedroom window. That seems like a rather gaping hole in my romantic past all of a sudden. Of course, now that I'm an adult, I would probably assume that any man climbing through my bedroom window was doing so with an eye toward violently assaulting my virtue, and would be more likely than not to bash him over the head with a crowbar.
Cut to Grams's Bostonian digs. How close is Capeside to Boston, anyway? Earlier in the season, I was under the impression that it was a good couple hours' drive. Now it seems to be no more than a fifteen-minute cab ride. At any rate, General Joey is passing out assignments to Jen, Jack, and Audrey. She hands her erstwhile roommate a script. Audrey will be playing the role of Ta-MAR-ah Jacobs in I Stole My Best Friend's Hot Teacher-Fucking Story For My Own Movie, Because Nothing Interesting Ever Happened To Me. "Wait a second," Audrey says. "You want me to play the slutty teacher that robbed Pacey of his delicate flower?" Jen giggles, and suggests that Audrey could play Eve. I can't believe the writers even remember Eve existed. Joey announces that Eve didn't make the cut. Audrey, naturally, wonders who Eve is. "Long story, ambiguous ending," Jack pipes up. Jen wonders where Pacey is, and Joey explains that while he couldn't make it to this particular production meeting, she'll "take care of him." Oh, I'll just bet she will.
thing you know, she's over at Doug's. Doug tells her that Pacey is "out…or something." Joey doesn't buy it, so Dougie eventually lets her inside, warning her that "it's ugly." Pacey lies facedown on the sofa, watching television in his underwear. He looks up when Joey comes in, potato chip fragments stuck to the side of his face. "I'm finally beginning to understand soap operas. They're pretty good," he says. Why, it's like the writers had a camera in my living room during the time I was unemployed! Joey moves his legs and sits to him on the sofa, then tells him to get up and put on some pants. Bite your tongue, girl. Pacey blinks. "The Young and the Restless is about to come on. I've got to see how JT talks his way out of this one, because Colleen was about to kill him, and I wouldn't miss that for all the pizza in Capeside," he says. "We’ve got chips," he adds in a monotone. Apparently, this is an actual Y&R plotline. (I only watch Passions. And All My Children, every couple of weeks. And Days of Our Lives. Oh, shut up! Soaps are good.) Anyway, according to my resident soap expert, Heathen, JT is sleeping with a girl and her mother simultaneously. In her words, he is both robbing the cradle and having his cradle robbed. Joey tells him this is pathetic. Pacey looks up, and the chips have magically disappeared from his cheeks. "Kinda comes with the territory," he says. "I don't know what you expect me to do about it." Joey rolls her eyes and tells him that she expects him to help her figure out how to make Dawson's movie on "ten dollars and a dream." Pacey groans that he'll just ruin it, anyway, and all of them know it. Also, why should he help that dicksmack Dawson? What's Dawson ever done for him, anyway? (This last bit might just have been me talking.) "I'm a dangerous man. A lethal weapon," Pacey groans. "So, we're better off if I just lie here. On my couch. Watching my stories." Those potato chips, by the way, are appearing and disappearing at will. At this, Joey turns off the TV and roughly tells him that she needs him, and so does Dawson. Pacey retorts that things between the three of them will ever be the same, ever, and that she just has to accept that. "I don't and I never will," Joey says. Pacey sighs. "That's fine," he says. "Be cheery and delightful and whatever else it is you want to do, I really don't care." Joey simply makes an exasperated face and stomps off. Pacey turns lazily back to The Young and the Restless.
I'd like to take this moment to thank the writers for turning in a script with so little dialogue. To wit: in this scene, Joey and Audrey burst in on Patrick and Harley Flip-Flops making out. In exchange for not telling Professor Flip-Flops that they've been swapping spit, Joey strong-arms the children into playing Pacey and Joey in I Don't Think This Movie Has Any Moment In It Which Hasn't Been Lifted From Life Entirely.
Meanwhile, Jack more or less prostitutes himself to score some camera equipment for Why Is Jack Even Helping? He Hasn't Seen Dawson in Two Years: The Movie.
Eventually, Dawson and his new wiglet arrive home. They walk into his room to discover Jack, Jen, Audrey, Joey, and a bunch of camera equipment waiting for him. Dawson looks mildly stunned, as Joey tells him that now he must admit, once and for all, that he has "no excuses." She's even gotten him actors! They're learning their lines! And she'd like an executive producer credit on the movie. (Well, she doesn't say that part, but she ought to have done.) Jen wonders if Dawson is ready to "take off the dress and step up to the plate," and I suspect I've somehow transcribed that line incorrectly, but the image is amusing, so let's leave it as it is. Jack nods, piping up that Dawson has no idea what he had to go through for this project. Anyway, Dawson hems and haws until Joey reminds him that all he has to do is film the movie, just like he was planning to do the week before. "And if you tell me that you don't believe in friendship, I'm going to throw you out of that window," she smiles. Dawson offers weakly that he still has his job at the IHOF, but Gale sticks her head in the room and summarily fires him. She then flings him a bottle of champagne and tells him to make a toast to his "fairly amazing" friends. Dawson finally grins and pops the cork. "What can I say? Let's do this thing," he says.
When we come back from the ads, they're shooting at the video store. Joey and Jack watch the production shenanigans, and I wonder where they procured this crew, in Capeside. Anyway, blah blah production blah. Eventually, Joey heads over to Craft Services -- also known as "Gale" -- and wonders where their "special delivery" is. Gale grins. "In transit," she says.
Meanwhile, across town, Dougie stands in his kitchen and complains loudly about the fact that Pacey hasn't cooked his breakfast yet. Pacey shrugs that he has other things to do today. "You really do owe it to yourself as a modern bachelor to learn some rudimentary cooking skills. Chicks dig that sort of thing," he adds, before skipping off. Doug looks thoughtful at the packet of cheese in his hand. Pacey pops his head back in the room. "And, you know, those other guys, too," he says.
Over at the video store, George and Patrick reenact the moment that Tah-MAH-ra Jacobs walked into all of our lives. Patrick, naturally, has to make several inappropriate comments about Audrey's hooters and whatnot, and Joey boxes his ears. Dawson simply looks amused, and does some more boring directorial business.
Meanwhile, Pacey forces the local merchants to pony up cash for the movie. He charms the local dentist, for example, into investing two hundred dollars in the project, to the delight of her hygienist. Whom we later learn is Pacey's high school dream girl, Kristy Livingstone. Of course, if Ali Larter hadn't been so busy with…whatever it is Ali Larter is doing…we all would have realized it was her, here in this scene, rather than later. That would have made for a much more effective reveal. It's my opinion that, as they couldn't get Ali Larter, they should have excised this bit. But no one ever asks me!
Back at the video store, Dawson is telling Joey that they've hit the exact right moment in the day to be able to see through Audrey's dress. Joey is shocked and appalled, but Audrey, naturally, knows all about it and doesn't care whatsoever. There's then some business with the video store owner, who wants them out so he can actually, you know, rent some videos to some actual customers. Joey, thanks to some telepathic eyebrow work with their traffic control man, Doug, manages to talk him into giving them fifteen more minutes. She's squealing at Dawson about getting this shot, since they're losing their light and the location and blah blah producer blah. Dawson just grins at her. "Without chaos, there'd be no happy accidents," he tells her. Thank goodness, Todd sweeps into the shot at this moment. I am always happy to see Todd, although this shot really hammers home how short he is. But I don't care. I love Todd. And so does Dawson, because his face just lights up when he sees his mentor. He stammers something about wondering what Todd is doing there, and Todd shoots Audrey and her see-through dress a lascivious grin and explains that Dawson's "sexy mum" made him "an offer [he] couldn't refuse." And he came to work. Todd hires him as DP and camera operator on the spot. "Just get me a triple espresso and I'm good to go," Todd agrees. Dawson smirks that he's the director; that's not his job anymore. Joey twists her mouth up, and says that she'll go. Audrey tries to place her own coffee order, and Joey is all, "Don't even think about it." She storms off, as Todd announces that Dawson has a movie to make, and they're going to help him make it, "or die trying." Now that would be an awesome finale!
After the ads, Joey and Todd yammer about broccoli -- I believe Todd is on some bizarre broccoli-loving kick -- as Dawson, in the background, shoots the Sea Creature From the Deep segment of I Have No Artistic Vision. Basically, Joey is completely fed up with being Todd's gofer and Todd is primarily interested in checking out her ass. That's all you need to know.
Meanwhile, Pacey races around town, harassing local business owners. No, seriously -- that was the entire scene.
While Mr. Witter harasses the hardware store owner, Harley tells Dawson she won't do a portion of Sea Creature from the Deep, and stomps off in a huff. It's up to Patrick to explain that Harley can't swim. Dawson looks put upon.
Up on the lawn, Joey anoints Audrey and her very cute halter top Todd's new assistant. Audrey, after some good-natured bitching, very easily agrees.
Pacey continues to run around town collecting money. I'm not giving that scene short recapping shrift. That scene was ten seconds long.
Post-Sea Creature from the Deep, Joey combs out Harley's wet hair. "So, you're sure I'm not a lesbian?" Harley asks (about her character, not herself, people!). Joey is sure. Harley hypothesizes that latent lesbianism would explain why her character hates the girl door and would rather hang out with the "asexual film dork" instead of going to France. Joey thoughtfully explains that Harley's character isn't ready to go to France. "She has a lot of growing up to do." Harley looks thoughtful. "He must have been a really good kisser, the gay guy," she says. Joey rolls her eyes and smirks that Harley hasn't listened to a word she's said. Harley's not the only one, Joey.
More filming. More moneymaking. Pacey, in his quest to make back Dawson's lost cash, tells a local restaurant owner that he used to be a chef, but now he's just "helping out a friend." The chef looks at him thoughtfully, and tells him not to go anywhere, before running to get a takeout order for the Non-Ali-Larter Kristy Livingstone. She and Pacey have this silly conversation wherein he doesn't remember her, and she's totally stunned, and blah blah blah. We get it -- Pacey's not the loser he thinks he is. We've know that for years, people.
Across town, Grams sits on the Leerys' porch and gazes across the lawn at her old house. She nods at the curtains hung at her old kitchen window, and sniffs that they're really extremely ugly. Jen smiles that she'll be sure to alert "the interior decorating police," and Grams smiles back up at her and says that she's happy to see the kids having one last fun day in Capeside. Jen assures Grams that they'll have plenty of reasons to return to Capeside. "It's not like we're…" She trails off. "Dying?" Grams asks. "That's right. We're not. It's just one more chapter in our lives together. A very nice long one." Aw, I love Grams. Jen looks around the yard and asks if Grams misses Capeside. "Every day," she replies. "Do I regret leaving it? Never." The women embrace, until Dawson comes up and tells them that they're in his shot. He does it nicely, for what it's worth. After a sick-making comment about Dawson being "the Frank Capra of Capeside," Jen hugs him and they vacate the porch.
This hug cues up a long, fuzzy-lensed hugging montage. Jack, Jen, and Grams hug Joey and Dawson and Audrey and Gale. Multiple times. Grams, in one moment, toys with an orange, dried strand of Joey's hair. I like to think that she's telling Joey to make an appointment with Miss Clairol. Eventually, a Yellow Cab pulls up, and Jack and Jen and Grams load up. "We love you," Jen calls to the group. Grams climbs into the cab, but Jen stands for a moment and looks around. "What is this feeling?" she asks. "It seems like everything is getting smaller and smaller. It's still there, but I can't touch it," she says. Jack smiles at her. "It's called goodbye," he says. As he gets into the car, Jen gazes down toward the dock, where Harley, George, and Patrick are wrassling. And then she climbs into the cab, and leaves the way she came.
Over at the restaurant bar, Pacey is still flirting with Kristy Livingstone. She has to leave, she says, but she slips him her digits. "You should call me," she says, and he tells her that he will. Just as she leaves, Joey enters the bar. She's impressed that he finally managed to impress the legendary Ms. Livingstone, and then helps out the rest of the viewing audience by explaining that Kristy represents all the high school girls he never thought he could land, due to his alleged loserosity. She snarks -- nicely enough -- that when all the "normal girls" such as herself, Jen, Andie, and Audrey told him over and over again that he wasn't a loser, it didn't mean anything. And with that, she picks up her to-go order and turns to leave. Pacey wonders how the shoot is going. "It's not too late to find out for yourself," she tells him. "I'm not going to eat all those fine words I said the other day. I actually believe them," he responds. But he'd like her to take this giant envelope of cash to Dawson. "It's not everything, but it's everything I could get in one day. I'll get the rest whenever I can get the rest," he says, telling Joey to give it to the Head with his congratulations. "I could," Joey says. "But I won't." She slides the envelope back across the bar, and tells Pacey he was right. "This isn't my fight. It never has been. And it never will be." Pacey grins at her and asks if she's "washing [her] hands of the both of [them]." Joey smiles at him, widely. "I'm going to try," she tells him. He smiles back, ever more widely. "Take care," she says, and goes. Hey, I think that was this show's I Choose Me Moment! "Okay," Pacey breathes after her, and looks all impressed and admiring, like he's amazed by how saucy and insouciant Joey has become.
Back on set, Joey and Dawson watch as George and Harley wrap that scene from the pilot where Dawson and Joey decide they can still sleep in the same bed, no matter how much body hair they grow. Dawson calls "cut," and tells the crew and cast that he'll see them the day. Todd, exhausted, slumps into the director's chair. Dawson shoots him a look. "Oh, my apologies, sir, force of habit," Todd says. Dawson shrugs that he can take the seat -- Todd bailed his ass out. Todd agrees that he did. Dawson looks around his room, and asks Todd if this makes him want to "go back and apologize to the little people." Todd screws up his face. "Hell, no. It makes me want to produce, actually," he says. At this, Dawson leaves, and Audrey pops her head in and asks Todd if he needs anything else. He chuckles and calls her a "saucy one," and "a bit of a tart." She furrows her brow, and he assures her that he means this "in a good way." Then he demands a backrub. "Now. Go on! You know you want it! Give a geezer a rub," he entreats, and she laughs that he's an arrogant little bastard. Todd insists that he's totally misunderstood…and that he figures eventually "some bird is going to find it all very charming." Audrey finally snickers, and rubs his back. You know, I can totally see them together. Except for the part where Todd is all in love with Dawson. The backrub leads to a nightcap, which leads to the two of them scampering, giggling, over to Todd's room, right past a smirky Dawson.
Dawson walks into his room, and looks admiringly at all his camera equipment, much as I do at my shoes. He falls back on his bed, exhausted. Enter Joey, who tells him that she stuck around to congratulate him. "You were great," she says. "If anyone was great, it's because of you," he replies. Joey joins him lying on the bad, and grins that this may very well be true, but that he can "save [his] speech for Sundance," because she's exhausted. "Spend the night," he asks quietly. "And what would we call that? Life imitating art imitating life?" Joey asks. Dawson shrugs that she doesn't have to. "It's a little weird. Not to mention somewhat dangerous," he says, giving her lackluster sex eyes. But Joey totally doesn't get it. "What do you mean?" she asks. Dawson has the good grace not to explain that he was halfheartedly coming on to her. "I don't know," he says, instead. "What if you woke up and you were fifteen again?" he asks. Personally, I would kill myself. Joey look up at the ceiling and explains that, watching him shoot Super-Indulgent: The Final Chapter, "it was like a huge weight had been lifted." Dawson snickers that making this movie will save him tons of cash on therapy. The two of them agree that it's been a truly great day. "Who knows how many you get?" Dawson wonders, and tells Joey that he hopes she's close by for at least a few of them. They smile at each other. Joey, looking happy but wistful, wonders how he could describe his movie. "It's about a girl who wanted more than what she had. Who had to grow up to realize that she already had all she could ever want," he says. Isn't that The Wizard of Oz? I guarantee you, this show would be vastly improved by some flying monkeys. "I like that," Joey breathes. "I don't want to close my eyes," he tells her. Joey asks why, and he explains that he's afraid that when she opens them, she won't be there. "Close your eyes, Dawson," she whispers. Dawson does. Joey just looks up at the ceiling and sighs.
Morning. Dawson opens his eyes…and Joey's not there. But there is a note, which he reads and smiles.
Elsewhere -- the café we opened in -- Joey weighs cheese and looks at a clock.
Meanwhile…or something, the timeframe of this episode is confusing…Dawson waits, leaning against a tree. And here comes Pacey, who spies him and swiftly realizes that they've been duped. They exchange cautious greetings, and Pacey explains that Joey must have tricked them. Dawson seems vaguely pissed, and calls her "Joey Potter, amateur peace broker." Pacey, on the other hand, seems primarily amused, and says that Joey seems to have "the kooky notion" that they can work it out. Dawson snits that they're never going to work it out, and Pacey points out that Joey has never listened to a single word either one of them has ever said. Dawson agrees with this, at least. "She's stubborn, that girl," Pacey grins. Dawson just looks at his watch and announces that he has somewhere to be. Because Pacey is the bigger man, he tells Dawson to wait a moment. "You said some pretty crappy things the other day," he begins. Dawson snaps that Pacey did, too. "Yes, I did. And I meant them, one hundred percent," Pacey responds. Dawson snips that he knows this, and he doesn't know how to get past it. "Maybe we don't," Pacey says, and tells him that they can't go back in time. The only thing that ties them together, Pacey says, is the fact that they "love the same woman." Dawson blinks that it always comes back to that. Pacey just chuckles. "Yes, it does. Yes, it does. And I don't regret a single second I spent with her," he says.
Pacey tells Dawson that he considers them lucky Joey would give either one of them the time of day. Dawson looks at the ground and flares. He finally admits that it makes sense, why it never worked out for either of them. "All we wanted was her. To the extent that it destroyed our friendship And in the end, all that she wanted was for us to be friends again." Technically, I don't think Dawson wanted Joey as much as he didn't want anyone else to have her, but let's not get into that now. Pacey nods, and says that he needs to ask Dawson something. "Is it possible for us to be friends again?" Dawson thinks about it. "Anything's possible," he finally says, and Pacey smiles. "Fair enough," he says, and hands over The Giant Wad Of Cash. Dawson stares down at the money. "Thank you," he finally forces out. "Don't mention it," Pacey says sunnily. They stare at each other. "Making love with you has left me peaceful," the soundtrack sings. Interesting music cue. Am I supposed to take something subtexual from that?
The music swells as we see Harley rowing her boat across the creek. Todd films her, as Dawson calls cut. "I used to be afraid of so many things," Joey voice-overs, as Dawson announces that it's a wrap. His cast and crew cheers. "That I'd never grow up. That I'd be trapped in the same place for all eternity," Joey continues.
Elsewhere, Pacey putters around in a kitchen, in full chef regalia. "That my dreams would forever be shy of my reach," Joey says.
Jack and Jen walk through NYU's campus. "It's true what they say. Time plays tricks on you. One day, you're dreaming. The day, your dream has become your reality," Joey voice-overs. She walks out of the café, bidding some customers "au revoir." She walks onto the streets of what is clearly supposed to be Paris, but which I hear is actually Montreal. They've got Joey doing everything Parisian short of juggling berets. She's buying fruit from a street vendor and looking at artwork and skipping around in a blue coat and a head scarf. "And now that this scared little girl no longer follows me everywhere that I go, I miss her. I do. Because there are things I want to tell her: to relax, to lighten up, that it's all going to be okay. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for what you are will become an increasingly rare occurrence. Jen, Jack, Audrey, Andie, Pacey, and Dawson, these people who contributed to what I am, they are with me wherever I go, and as history gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day, my love for them only grows. Because the truth is, it was the best of times." Oh, yeah? Well it was the worst of times for me. And Joey? Shut up! This is all heartfelt and all, but stop with the yammering! My carpal tunnel is acting up. "Mistakes were made, hearts where broken, harsh lessons learned, but all of that has receded into fond memory now. How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticize the good? Maybe because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something, that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all. A time in our lives that we that we will never forget." Joey stands in front of a green screen and stares up at the most obviously phony Eiffel Tower ever. "I can't swear this is exactly how it happened. But this is how it felt," she finally finishes.
Well, that would have been a perfectly fine finale. But no. week, two more hours and then we're free. FREE! Free at last! Thank you, God, thank you! And as a special treat, Sars and Wing Chun are going to recap the first hour, whilst yours truly tackles the second. That's three recappers for the price of one, people! Whee!