Episode Report Card 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Abby Morgan, Rest In Peace
By Sars | Season 2 | Episode 19 | Aired on 05.04.1999
At the Capeside Memorial Chapel, people file in for the service. Cut to a shot of the casket adorned with flowers, and a creepy school photo of Abby in a white blouse and a big tranquilized smile in front of the casket. Pacey tells Andie, who has on a little black dress with sheer cap sleeves, that she can still "duck out of here," but Andie intends to go through with it "even if it kills" her, and Pacey makes a bad joke about putting her in the coffin with Abby. Like, ha ha. Not. Joey comes in, also wearing a cap-sleeved black dress that seems a bit too slinky for a funeral, and sits down next to Dawson and asks him to hold her hand. Memo to Joey: enough with the zig-zag part in your hair. In the back, Grams bustles in and takes a seat next to Jen, who rolls her eyes and makes a snide comment. Grams whispers, "Jennifer, I lost a lot of sleep last night, and I, I do hope we can avoid ugly scenes like last night in the future. I want you to know I forgive you." Jen fumes silently before retorting, "I'm not looking for your forgiveness, Grams, I'm looking for your understanding. And that's something that you've never been able to provide." Grams looks away, stunned, and if you listen carefully you can hear the thin ice of Jen's living arrangement cracking beneath her.
The minister steps into the pulpit and says a few words and invites people up to share their memories of Abby, and for a long moment nobody moves, and Abby's mother turns around and stares at the congregation looking stricken, and the minister surveys the crowd also, and then Jen -- also wearing a black dress with sheer cap sleeves, which she wore to the dance earlier in the season, not to mention a facial expression suggesting a rhino on the verge of charging -- stands up, squares her shoulders, pushes past Grams, and stomps up to the front of the chapel as the rest of the gang (except Chris "Teen" Wolf, who should probably have given the eulogy, but who inexplicably doesn't appear anywhere in this episode) exchange worried looks. Jen ascends the pulpit, which is so high that it reminds me of the twenty-foot desk Andy Kaufman used to sit behind during his "talk show" in order to make his "guests" feel insignificant, and begins raining acidic home truths down on the assembled: "My name is Jen Lindley, and I was friends with Abby -- as much as anybody could be, because Abby had a toxic personality that bordered on radioactive." Mrs. Morgan wilts, and "what the fuck?" looks fly back and forth as Grams looks down at her lap and Jen continues, "Abby could be cruel, and Abby could be spiteful, and Abby could certainly be petty. She spent her days mischievously stirring up trouble and creating calamity and generally taking pleasure in other people's pain." Then she changes tacks, remarking bitterly, "You know, in Sunday school, they teach us that God made man in His image? Well, if God made Abby in His own image, then what does that say about God? God has always been such a mystery to me, I mean, what sort of deity creates a world that is so full of suffering, and is so full of tragedy?" Interesting point, but perhaps just a teensy bit, I don't know, INAPPROPRIATE in this particular venue. The minister squirms, and somewhere behind Grams's eyes a door slams shut as Jen hits her stride: "Tell you what, Abby taught me a lot. Abby taught me how to do a tequila shooter with one hand behind my back. [Um, Jen? For the last time, they're called "tequila shots," okay?] And she taught me how to live my life according to my own set of bounds [sic], and not to just follow the crowd in hopes of winning some phantom popularity contest. But most of all, what's most important is that Abby taught me the sadistic nature of our God, and while that knowledge is disturbing, it's true, and it's real." Oh, please. Grams presses her lips together as other people in the congregation flinch in disbelief, but Jen is on a roll: "And in a world that is so saturated with phoniness and with lies, for that small amount, for that little bit of honesty I will always be grateful to her." People continue to shoot each other "do you believe this shit?" glances; Mrs. Morgan sobs into her hankie, and Jen heads back to her seat. When she gets to her pew, Grams stands up, not to let her past but to stalk out of the chapel -- but not before giving Jen a look that could cut through sheet metal. Jen starts to realize that she bricked in a big way as she watches Grams go.
Jen sits down, and Andie stares at her and then sees Mrs. Morgan looking pleadingly in her direction, so she gets up and goes to the lectern. Back at Jen's pew, Jack gives Jen this weird "uh, okay" look. The entire congregation braces itself for another Ballantine blast, but Andie keeps it low-key; she starts off by mentioning the people in her life who comfort her and support her, and how much those people mean to her. Pacey smiles encouragingly as she goes on, "But there is another group of people, just as important and just as priceless. They are the people who challenge me, who push me to my breaking point, and who force me to muster courage I never thought I had." "Muster"? Jen sulks at Andie outclassing her as Andie says, "Abby Morgan was one of those people -- in her own truth-telling way, she gave me strength." A shot of Dawson and Joey's hands squeezing each other. Andie finishes, "I'm a stronger woman because of her, stronger than I ever thought that I could be. She gave me that gift; she was one of a kind. There's no one like her, and she will always hold a special spot in my heart." Mrs. Morgan dabs at her eyes some more, Pacey smiles at Andie some more, and Dawson goggles at Joey some more, and just as I don my water wings and prepare to "do an Abby" into a vat of liquid No-Doz, the camera cuts to the creepy school photo of Abby again, and mercifully we go to commercial.