By Amorgan
In this latest debacle of an award-nominated show, we find Zack strapped into some freaky torture machine at Manticore. Lydecker argues with a doctor about whether or not they should proceed with some procedure that will royally mess our boy up. Lydecker wins the argument (duh) and the doctor injects Zack with some, um, something. Then he shines a red light into Zack's forcibly open eye while Lydecker asks him to reveal the location of the other X5s. There's some flashback action; then Zack is in a prison cell watching a ghosty girl who looks like Max knock out his guards and bust him out. They run down the hall, they hide in an empty room, and then the ghosty Max asks him to tell her where the other X5s are so she can warn them. He gets confused, then angry, then he chokes her. Yay Zack! End this ridiculous travesty of a show! Oh, but, too bad, it's not Max at all. It's a Max look-alike. Soldiers and the doctor and Lydecker come in to save the girl, and Zack tells Lydecker he'll. Never. Tell. Him. Anything.
Um. Okay, so we come back from commercials to Max pulling a RAW CHICKEN out of a dirty canvas sack. She's in Logan's apartment, and she's all proud, showing it off to Number Two. She scored it at the farmer's market. It's not wrapped in plastic or anything. She holds it up, then she drops it back into the dirty canvas sack. Did you know that I once had to get a Certified Food Manager license to run a kitchen? It was a three-day joke of a course on all the different kinds of food poisoning, and also on health codes. What did I learn? Besides learning that I am smarter than many kitchen managers in Austin, Texas, I learned -- you know, I'm not even going to continue with this diatribe. Suffice it to say, that is just gross. I bet she doesn't wash the chicken or her hands before giving it to Logan to cook. Instead of washing her hands, she asks where Logan is. He's taking, says Number Two proudly, a walk down by the waterfront. A walk? Yes! A walk! Cut to the Cap'n, digging his toes in the sand. Max finds him there. They exchange banter about the dirty chicken. They exchange banter about the miracle of life. They marvel at the cold water, and they do not kiss. Three times. Then a hoverdrone tells them to go away, so they do. Oh, and then they don't kiss one more time. They start to walk away, then they stop, turn around, run back to kiss, but…they don't. That makes five times. They were each going the wrong way, you see. That's why they had to turn around. Those clever writers. Always keeping us guessing.