Last night was Latin Night and the 10 paddles came out! And Gavin's dance was a hot mess! Not even a hot mess. A cold mess. Don't you think that's worse than a hot mess? I do. Anyway, the bottom two will be dueling to the death with pistols at dawn, I guess.
They're doing an encore performance this week, and Len says that they could have picked any couple (really, even Gavin?) but they chose Maria and Derek. Why? Why would they choose them? Gross. One of the forum posters referred to Derek as "Dennis the Menace" yesterday and I laughed out loud and now that's all I can see. During the part where Derek is supposed to kiss Maria, the music stops and he walks over and kisses Carrie Ann instead, and then Maria kisses Bruno. Are there really people at home who are like, "Oh, that Derek! Such a sketch!" My friend's mom used to call people "a sketch" when they were mildly amusing. And it somehow fits here. It would have been funnier if they had awkwardly high-fived or fist-bumped instead of kissing. Or, you know, danced. That would be exciting.
Time to review some of last night's performances. Gladys told the crowd that it was party time before her dance, and Tristan really tried to get her fired up during the routine. Tristan is super sweaty after the dance. He was working hard out there. Maks got Melissa fired up before her routine, and she had a lot of fun. He said he was proud of her but then told her that he needs her to do better. Oh, Maks. I didn't mention last night that it was creepy how Maria's dad was applauding Bruno asking to join in a threesome with her and Derek. In the confessional, Maria says that Bruno can definitely join in, and when Derek expresses doubt, she stage whispers, "He's a judge!" Heh. There's a break before we get results and I take a second to check out Brooke's weird dress. It's another one-shoulder cleavage cut out situation. Why does she do that? It looks awful.
So are any of these three in the bottom two? Maria and Derek are safe, of course. Melissa and Maks are also safe and I think Melissa cursed with joy because they cut the audio for a second there. I like her more if she did. Gladys and Tristan are also safe. Aw, I'm glad. I'm glad for Gladys. And she gets to be in Motown Week week. Now I can't figure out who will be in the duel against Gavin.
Clip package where the judges explain the Dance Duel. The bottom two will be doing the same dance to the same music, side-by-side on the dance floor, and the judges will decide who goes home. This is a terrible idea for so many reasons. First of all, side-by-side dances are never good for a TV audience. We don't know where to look and when and it's chaotic and confusing. Second, the whole gist of this show has always been that it's half judges' scores and half fan votes that keep couples safe. And now they're screwing with that on a whim? And if it's not on a whim, then it smells a lot like producer intervention, like maybe someone who isn't very good is getting a lot of fan support, which is also a bad idea. If someone gets propped up by fans, that's the way it goes. That's what happens on these fan-voting competitive reality shows, right Sanjaya? The only upside I can see if that it might make more people tune into the results show beyond the last five minutes, but there has to be other ways to make the results show more interesting than screwing with the formula of the show. Anyway, the judges claim that it's all about the dancing and eliminates the sentimentality. Yeah, because the judges are robots and don't let their emotions interfere, ever. Heh.
It's Train. That's all I have to say about that. Well, just this. Someone I follow tweeted today, "My love for you went viral" from this new Train song and I thought they were making something up that would probably be in a cheesy Train song. Nope. It's an actual lyric in the song. Also, Louis is back to dance with Cheryl. Glad to see Louis getting the work. I wish they would ditch Val and bring back Louis as a pro.
Brooke is backstage with William, Gavin, and Roshon. William says his ankle is okay, and if he has to dance tonight, he'll be fine. Gavin is pretty much expecting to be in the bottom two, and hoping for a miracle. Roshon says he's ready for the dance duel, but he doesn't want to do it.
Sheila E. is on hand to drum while some pros dance. Not the show's troupe or anything. Just some random dancers. Y'all, Sheila E is 55 years old. She looks FANTASTIC. I need to take up the drums. She looks about 40, tops. And I only guessed that old because I remember her having hits in the 1980s. And being Arsenio Hall's house bandleader. Anyway, whatever work she's had done or supplements she's taking, she needs to bottle and sell it.
Another musical performance. Selena Gomez. Is she the one that's dating Justin Beiber? I think she is. I don't know who is dancing while she's singing, but it's not the pro troupe. Seriously, why do they have the troupe? They never use them, we don't know anything about them as individuals, and they're not interesting.
Finally, some actual results! Donald and Peta did an amazing dance last night, although Len liked the lifts better than the rest of the dancing. Peta was really mad about Len's score. Donald was at first, but he got over it. Mark admitted he wasn't wearing a cup despite the damage Katherine caused in rehearsals. Cheryl urged William to fight through his pain and not show it on his face. Knowing he had a torn tendon in his ankle, I'm more impressed with his dance. I mean, his scores shouldn't have been higher or anything, but it is pretty impressive.
So are any of these couple in the bottom two? William and Cheryl are safe. Katherine and Mark are safe. Donald and Peta are safe. Wait, who's left? Roshon, Gavin, and Jaleel. So two of them are the bottom two. I'm guessing Gavin and Roshon, but we'll find out.
Before we do find out, we have to review last night's performances. Kym told Jaleel to act like a tiger, and he kind of did. That was good direction. Roshon was signing autographs right before going on the floor. I think he needs a little more focus. Gavin knew he screwed up the routine and apologized to Karina, and after the dance, Karina said that they needed to prepare for the duel, due to their low scores.
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So out of these three couples, Roshon and Chelsie are safe. Hmm, not what I expected. That means Gavin and Karina and Jaleel and Kym are the bottom two and will be in the Dance Duel. Again, I smell producer interference. Doesn't it make sense that they would want someone who was a LOT better than Gavin than someone who was slightly better? Okay, I need to stop with the conspiracy theories. I'm sure it's all on the up and up. Jaleel vows to stay and Gavin says he knew he'd be in the duel, and they practiced for it, but he thinks Jaleel is a better dancer.
While they prepare, we get to see how they rehearsed. After last night's scores, Gavin and Karina went straight into rehearsals for their cha cha. Meanwhile, Jaleel and Kym started rehearsing at 8:30 this morning. Gavin seems pretty pessimistic and Jaleel seems pretty optimistic.
Time for the dance duel. They show it in split screen, which helps, but it's still really difficult to watch both dances. I mean, if I were really dedicated, I guess I could watch it twice, watching each couple one time all the way through. But the judges don't get to watch it twice, so I won't either. Also, I'm lazy. Anyway, Gavin's dance starts off horrible, like he's just knee-walking paso doble style and then standing there while Karina dances. Meanwhile, Jaleel is dancing his fool head off. Gavin actually improves in the second half, and has some great hip action that I didn't know he had in him! Jaleel gets a bit sloppy but overall, Jaleel is clearly the better dancer. I mean, he was actually doing a cha cha, albeit a messy one. I don't know what Gavin was doing. It's his time to go. Let's see if the judges agree with me.
Tom is trying to keep things in line after the dances end, but Gavin is running around hugging everyone because he knows he's going home. The judges need to make it official. Carrie Ann says that Jaleel had strong technique and Gavin was good in hold. Damning with faint praise. Len commends them for learning a dance so quickly and giving it their all. He loves Gavin's energy, and Jaleel had great rhythm. Bruno thought Gavin showed improvement and had some good shapes, while Jaleel was fantastic overall. The judges now have to vote live, and they all vote for Jaleel and Kym, obviously.
So Gavin and Karina are going home. The rest of the pros watching on the sidelines are all looking at each other like, "This is some bullshit." Seriously, they look pissed off. I wish we knew whether or not Gavin would have gone home in a traditional elimination or not. Gavin hugs the judges before heading out to take his final dance with Karina but he can't get any dancing in because everyone wants to hug him goodbye.
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