Last night, Ralph made a comeback and Romeo had...the opposite of that. So who will go home tonight? Let's find out... live! But not LIIIIIIIIIIIVE! Right off the bat, Tom throws to Len to find out which routine they would like to see again, and Len says that they want to see the team dance from Chelsea, Ralph and Romeo and partners.
Interesting that they chose this routine over the other team routine, since they got equal scores. Anyway, as many commenters in the forums pointed out, Mark is the only dude who is wearing white spats. Their outfits are otherwise identical. Because he's an asshole. Both Romeo and Ralph seem to do better tonight, relieved from the pressure of judging. Ralph still gets the crazy eyes when he hits poses, though. Am I the only one who sees this? It's like he looks fine while doing a move but when he hits any sort of position or pose he goes overly intense with his face and his eyes bug out a little and he's got this frozen rictus of a grin and it's creepy instead of joyful. Mark is overdancing, as usual, and he actually points to his dick while he does pelvic thrusts. I am seriously starting to think he is on something. Like maybe he has a little pick-me-up before hitting the dance floor? It would certainly explain the extra energy and the delusions of grandeur. I don't remember him being this bad in season. Note that this is just speculation, and he's probably on nothing stronger than Red Bull. I just have to amuse myself somehow, and I want there to be some explanation about why Mark has either turned into such a juicebox (it's the new d-bag) or let his juicebox ways come out.
Last night, Hines cursed at the end of their routine because he stepped on her skirt and nearly fell down. And yet he got a 10. Bruno is crazy. Kirstie got all screwed up during their routine because she got so into character that she forgot to dance. She apologized to Maks afterwards. I kind of wish they had chosen her for the encore, because I think that could have been a good routine. Then again, they don't want her to have a heart attack in the middle of the dance floor or something. Okay, so it's time for some results for these two couples. Hines and Kym are definitely safe. Kirstie and Maks are in jeopardy. They mess up the music cue, so Maks and Kirstie look a little confused.
Backstage, Brooke interviews Ralph, who has nothing interesting to say. Brooke asks Chelsea if she thinks they pushed it too far last night, and Chelsea says that they try to take a risk every week and be outrageous. Ooh, rage against the machine, Disney girl. Hines and Kirstie pop up. Brooke asks Hines if he has an advantage with week's two dances because he's an athlete, and Hines says it's more mentally tough than physical. Kirstie mumbles something about hoping she gets to stay and Maks says something so nonsensical about being a witness that even Kirstie is like, "What are you talking about?"
Nicki Minaj is on hand to perform. I feel like I should like Nicki Minaj more than I do. I like female rappers, and she's kind of old school. I still listen to Queen Latifah. Chelsie and Lacey come out to dance with their male partners. Their contemporary routine doesn't do it for me. I've said it many times - that's not why I watch this show.
Then there's a segment about Patricia Zhou, an Asian girl who just joined the Royal Ballet. I mention the Asian part because they make a big deal about how her parents didn't want her to go into ballet, and wanted her to be a lawyer or doctor. What's most impressive is that she didn't even start ballet until she was 13. She's 17 now, and her teachers are calling her "the Michael Jordan of ballet." That's pretty amazing. And now she's here to perform. She's a lovely dancer. I'm a little concerned that she might fall out of the top of her costume because it's made for someone with breasts, but you know, not a big deal.
Ralph and Karina had a comeback last night, and their scores reflected it. Mark was pissed about their scores, and whined that Len was being two-faced. Turns out they had a private conversation where Len pointed out that the highest scores he gave out last night were two 8s, and Mark got one of them. Yeah, Mark. In your face! Mark whines further in his confessional that he doesn't know how to please Len. Here's how. Do a traditional routine. Cut the Michael Jackson bullshit and the pelvic thrusts where they're not part of the dance and the showboating. Showcase your partner for once. FOR ONCE! Gah. So let's find out who's safe. Ralph and Karina will be coming back week. Chelsea and Mark are in jeopardy.
Brooke is backstage, where she asks Romeo about missing a day of rehearsals this week to promote his movie, and he admits that it was bad timing. She asks Kendra if she's ready to take on two dances. Kendra says she's too nervous about getting through tonight to even think about it.
Today would have been James Brown's 78th birthday. Remember when James Brown died? And they didn't bury him for a long time? That was weird. Anyway, Wayne Brady is here to pay tribute to the Godfather. Wayne Brady has had a really strange career, hasn't he? I think he was just born like thirty years too late. He would have been a great song-and-dance man in the '60s. He starts out with "It's a Man's Man's Man's World" and then goes into, "I Got the Feeling," and I'm going to predict he'll end with "I Feel Good." Just a feeling. Ooh, I was wrong. It's a "Sex Machine" interlude. And then they do the thing with the cape. I remember seeing footage of James Brown doing that when I was a kid, and I did not get it AT ALL. Like why is that man covering him with a cape? And then he throws the cape off and keeps dancing? I didn't understand that James just had to keep grooving. I am so happy that they did that whole thing without "I Feel Good." You know what's amazing about listening to James Brown's music today? Besides how awesome it is? How many of the drum tracks and licks you can recognize from being sampled in other songs. Try it. Especially "Funky Drummer."
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Stupid montage where the couples sit down face-to-face to talk about what to do to make it in the finals. Chelsie tells Romeo that he needs to make dancing a priority. Karina wants Ralph to be sexier. Kym wants Hines to get out of his head. Mark wants Chelsea to stay in the game mentally. On the flip side, Kendra wants Louis to push her more, and Kirstie wants more validation from Maks. Chelsea loves that Mark keeps it fun. Hines admits that he's really challenged by Kym's choreography. Maks tells Kirstie that her strength is her personality. Karina loves how Ralph creates a story in his dance. Kym thinks Hines is a natural dancer. The pros all talk about how hard it will get in the few weeks. It would be awesome if one of the stars was like, "Fuck this noise. I'm out." But of course, no one does.
James Blunt is on hand to sing his new single. Maks's brother is dancing with his partner. I don't enjoy watching Val dance. It's like alternate Maks. I find that to be true with most celebrity brothers. Patrick Swayze's brother looks weird. Any time you see a celebrity brother, they look like they've been through the wringer or something.
Romeo was told he was off-beat, but he didn't get discouraged. Kendra felt like she didn't want this whole thing to end. Her attitude has gotten a LOT better. So she'll probably go home tonight. Let's find out if she's still in jeopardy. Romeo and Chelsie are safe, and seem really shocked that they are. Kendra and Louis are still in jeopardy, though. Tom ribs Romeo for thinking he was going home.
So it's down to Chelsea and Mark, Kirstie and Maks, or Kendra and Louis. Len has some advice for everyone. He wants consistency from Kirstie. He compliments Kendra on blooming late, and he thinks Chelsea is one of the most talented girls on the show. I just noticed that all of the people in jeopardy are women. Well, Kirstie and Maks are safe. I'm glad. I don't love her, but she is interesting to watch. Tom points out that these aren't necessarily the bottom two, as always, so it's meaningless until we find out who's going home. And the couple going home is Kendra and Louis. I actually almost feel bad for Kendra. She's going to be one of those who vows to make dancing a part of her life going forward but will ditch it in two weeks. Kendra thanks Louis and her family, and says she's going back to being a mom. Louis tells Kendra that it was an awesome journey and he's glad they are finishing on a high. Kendra goes out onto the floor to do some last-minute stripper moves. That, I won't miss.
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