Last night was "a star spangled extravaganza." Ralph fell short of expectations while Hines rose to the top like the proverbial cream. It's still a dead heat between the competitors, and Kirstie engaged the powers of Xenu and John Travolta himself to keep from another onstage mishap. But what rockets and ramparts will the patriotic dances bring tonight?
We recap the two couples who didn't fall into a three-way tie last night -- Hines and Kym, and Kirstie and Maks. We start with Kirstie's writhing and lack of shoe-losing. We're reminded of Hines' superior hip action, which earned the couple's highest score yet. And, for the record, Australian Kym is not proud to be an American. But who is safe, and who might go home? As expected, Hines and Kym are safe, leaving Kirstie and Maks in the bottom.
Tom asks Len who he'd like to see again. Len says all the judges agreed they'd like to see Romeo and Chelsie's fox trot to "New York, New York." Both of them are having a ball this time, even though Chelsie manages to lose an earring in her own hair. Romeo in particular is much more relaxed -- go figure. This moment definitely shows his progression throughout the season.
It's time for Toby Keith's performance. For the record, I didn't know this was part of the deal when I signed up to recap this week. Regardless, he's performing "Shoulda Been a Cowboy" with the help of the Dancing with the Stars troupe. There's not much to note since it's mainly him strumming his guitar and about 64 counts of standard country-tinged ballroom dancing, though there's one section when they throw the lady dancer under about five people's legs. It's the Evel Knievel of ballroom dancing!
, Brooke interviews the three couples who tied for second place. Chelsea, if she advances, is looking forward to the challenge of the quickstep week. Romeo jokes that he's going to "get [his] Scarface on" and Hines may come up missing. Chris makes fun of Romeo for his gangster accent. We're reminded of their individual dances as the three couples head to the stage for the results. Chelsea and Mark are the first to learn they're staying in the competition. Romeo and Chelsie are also staying. Which leaves Chris and Cheryl in the bottom.
Then there's a stupid package about the conspiracy riddling the show. Mike Catherwood (a.k.a. that guy we don't remember anymore) introduces clips of Hines farting and Chelsea losing her bra. Kirstie berates Maks for being too cocky. He insists he's not, then describes himself as "sex on a stick -- a stick that's been dipped in a boiling pot of sex." We also get clips of Bruno and Carrie Ann being big old prissypants, which annoys the bejesus out of Len. Finally, we get a clip of Mike showing his underwear. He pretends to be angry, but he got three free minutes out of the fact that he sucked and didn't have fans, so I'd say he's ahead.
Tom and Brooke rightly note that they got off easy on that package as they introduce this week's Macy's American Dream, choreographed by and starring Step Up's Jamal Sims and set to Janelle Monae's "Tightrope." And this, my friends, is why professional choreographers exist. It's a five-minute New Yorkstravaganza that goes from a man's arrival to the city to his rise to the top. Seriously, he goes from jeans and tank top to a three-piece suit. It's like a 2011 version of Singin' in the Rain's "Broadway Melody". Seriously, watch it online.
Finally under the gun for elimination are the three couples who tied for last place. Petra says she's distracted by Maks. Kendra is proud to have been the 1,000th dance. And Ralph thinks dancing first may have hurt him since he was the one setting the bar for the night. We see a clip package of their performances as they head out to the stage. Petra apologized to Dmitry right after their performance. Ralph asked whether Bruno had "fire down below" and promised to bring more sex if Bruno brings the right scores. And, even though Louis ripped his pants right before their performance, Kendra thought she did her best job yet. But was it enough? The first couple deemed safe is Ralph and Karina. Also safe? Kendra and Louis. Which means Petra and Dmitry are in the bottom three.
During the commercial break, an audience member gave Len a Grumpy muggy from Snow White. And speaking of grumps, it's time for another Toby Keith performance. Jonathan Roberts and Anna Trebunskaya perform a lyrical, lovely rumba-waltz fusion to his "American Soldier."
After Toby Keith's performance, we get a package of the judges' midseason critiques. Len says Kendra has potential, but her biggest challenge is mental. Carrie Ann thinks Petra doesn't transition well from one move to another. She thinks Hines should take more risks. Len and Carrie Ann both think Chris lacks musicality. Chelsea has been the biggest risk taker of the season, which means she could go a long way. Len says Ralph needs to be more fluid to be a contender. Carrie Ann thinks Kirstie's biggest problem is her stamina. Bruno says Romeo needs control to complement his passion.
Now back to the elimination. Petra and Dmitry have fallen far from two weeks ago, when they were at the top of the leader board. Both Chris and Cheryl, and Kirstie and Maks are in the bottom despite scoring their highest marks yet. So who's safe? It's Kirstie and Maks. Thank you, Dance Doctor Travolta!
1 2 3
About the two couples in jeopardy, Len says it's no wonder he's grumpy. He thinks there's no justice that either Petra and Chris might leave. Without further ado, it's announced that Petra and Dmitry are exiting the competition. Petra says it's been a life-changing journey for her and appreciates that people have been inspired to throw their own dances for the Happy Hearts Fund. Before they perform their super-awkward final dance, we get a few more minutes of confirmation that Petra and Dmitry are the hottest couple that have ever hit this show. They love each other like brother and sister, blah blah blah. I'm cutting off the sound now and just ogling.
What are people saying about your favorite shows and stars right now? Find out with Talk Without Pity, the social media site for real TV fans. See Tweets and Facebook comments in real time and add your own -- all without leaving TWoP. Join the conversation now!
1 2 3