The theme this week is telling a story through dance. I always have a problem with this theme week, because shouldn't every dance tell a story in a way? Or at least the best ones? Although this one does seem a bit different because it's about telling a personal story, as opposed to acting a part. So anyway, stories. They're telling some.
Tom and Brooke welcome us. Brooke's boobs look bigger. Is she pregnant again? Calling it. She's knocked up. I think I see a bump. Either that, or she overdid it with the pasta at dinner. You know, if Kendra feels masculine, she should stand to Wendy Williams for a while. I bet Tony feels feminine standing to her.
Tom explains that there are a lot of different dance styles tonight, so the troupe is back to show us what they should look like. I love this. I mean, I don't really need this, because after recapping this show for many seasons, I know what a paso doble should look like, although I wouldn't mind hearing judges' commentary about what they are looking for. That would be helpful. They also demonstrate the rumba and the samba. Nice job, everyone.
The first dancer this week is Wendy Williams. She did terribly the first week and improved a bit the second week. So now Tony is trying to help her figure out how to make this week's dance personal. Wendy talks about how she got started in radio, and she was commuting between DC and NYC and slept in her car. Tony thinks it took a lot of strength. So somehow this is going to translate into a foxtrot.
They're doing the foxtrot to "Last Night a DJ Saved My Life." And it's not horrible, at least compared to the first week. The thing is, Wendy is SO MUCH BETTER when she's not in hold. In the opening, she actually boogies a little bit, and then they go into hold and she goes all stiff and tense and ungainly. Then they break hold and she's really good. I don't know what it is about being in hold that causes her to lose the rhythm and any sense of grace. Judges? Len says he knows that she worked hard, but it lacked fluidity. Bruno tells her that she was imposing but she needs to be long and flowing. Carrie Ann loves that she's a strong, brave woman, but she took a step backward from what she did last week. Scores: Carrie Ann 5, Len 5 and Bruno 5 for a total of 15. Ouch.
I forgot Chelsea and Mark were on this show. Even though they stood out for breaking the rules last week, Chelsea still falls right out of my head. In rehearsals, Chelsea starts out by asking if they can follow the rules AND entertain the audience. Yes! You can! Don't listen to stupid Mark. He's an idiot. Anyway, they are dancing to a song written by Chelsea's first boyfriend. She tells the whole story about how they met and he was in a band and he wrote the song and I was sure it was going to end with, "And that band is Snow Patrol" or something. Anyway, Mark tries to get Chelsea to be sexy and flirty, and she's not feeling it, because she feels likes a dork.
Well, the dance definitely has a lot of energy but that's mostly because Mark is taking forty-five steps when he could take three. Seriously, what kind of energy drink did he mainline backstage? It's so distracting. Remember the part where the pros are supposed to highlight their partners? Mark obviously doesn't. Chelsea still looks kind of uncomfortable (and ungraceful) when she's doing solo work shaking her hips, and Mark is over the top with his facial expressions. Chelsea does a lot better in hold. I think she could be really great with a different partner. Bruno thinks it was tasty, but you know, he yells about it a lot. Carrie Ann says she's a big fan of that cha cha cha, and calls Chelsea "a little baby Julianne." Len thinks it's Chelsea's best dance. You know, of the three she's done so far. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 8 and Bruno 8. I wish one of the judges had told Mark to cool it down.
Last week, Chris Jericho did really well with his quickstep. This week, he has decided to dance to "Let It Be" in honor of his mom. He tells Cheryl about how, when he first started in wrestling, his mom got in a car accident. Chris was going to quit wrestling to take care of her, but she refused to let him do that. Her health deteriorated and she died in 2005, and he played this song at her funeral. Chris adds that his real name is Chris Irvine, and for the first time, that's who we're going to see tonight instead of Chris Jericho, so he can pay tribute to his mom. You guys, I'm touched. Cynical old me is touched.
Let's hope the rumba is as good as the story behind it. I just noticed that when the announcer said their names, he said Chris Irvine. I seriously don't know how he's dancing right now. My mom also passed away in 2005, and if I watched that clip package and then had to look at a picture of her and listen to her favorite song? I would be a heap on the floor. He does a beautiful job, though. You can see the tenderness in his movements and facial expressions. His movements could be more fluid, and his hip action could be better, but you can tell he's really feeling it. Aw. Carrie Ann is crying and she says that his hip action was a little strange but the emotion was there. Len notes that Cheryl choreographed around his problems with his arms, but his poses were excellent. Bruno thought it was vulnerable, but he needs to learn to move from one pose to the other better. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7 and Bruno 7.
Kendra wants to tell the story of her relationship with her husband, NFL player Hank Baskett. She could totally be on The Bachelor with her grasp of grammar, as she talks about "Hank and I's relationship." She tells the tale that there was a billboard of Hank in his hometown that said "Hometown Hero" but when news broke that he was dating Kendra, they took it down. Really? Did that really happen? It wasn't that the contract ran out on the billboard? That sounds like one of those small town gossip stories that could be true but probably isn't. Hank comes to visit the rehearsal. I kind of wish he was on the show instead of her, although they both seem pretty, well, dumb.
The dance starts with Kendra in a giant cloud of smoke, which I think is a technical glitch. I think there was supposed to be a LITTLE smoke, but not this much. She can barely walk down the stairs, either because there's too much smoke or because of her shoes. Given her history as an exotic dancer, I'm guessing the shoes aren't a problem. Her moves, once they get going, are pretty good, but she has the blankest expression on her face. I'm guessing that she's thinking about the steps, but she needs to perform more with her facial expressions. I mean, she used to be a stripper. I have to imagine she used her face while dancing then, right? Unless she was the world's worst stripper. Len didn't love the gyrations, but he was impressed by her foot and leg action. Bruno thought it was "teasingly erotic, hot and arousing." Yikes. Carrie Ann thought it was "hot, hot, hot" and loves that Kendra owns her sensuality. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7 and Bruno 8.
Romeo was pleased that he made Len smile last week, so he wants to do well this week. He tells Chelsie how he lost two of his cousins, with whom he was very close, at a young age. Chelsie knows that the rumba is usually sexy, but due to Romeo's story, she is going to try to make it more about love and loss. Romeo has trouble with the dancing and blames his shoes, but Chelsie thinks he's really upset about his cousins. And of course, she's right! Romeo loves his shoes. Not really, but he admits that wasn't why he was upset.
I think Romeo and Chelsie really missed an opportunity to be sexy. Not with that story, obviously, but they are young and have good chemistry, and this could have been a really sexy rumba. Instead, it's stiff and boring. And Romeo has zero hip action and his poses are terrible. I think he's so terrified of looking "girly" that he won't do anything that might be considered graceful. And if that's the case, he shouldn't have agreed to go on the show. I'm over him unless he changes his tune. Bruno says that Romeo was connected and involved emotionally, which led to him messing up his feet at times. Carrie Ann thought he committed emotionally, and she saw improvement. Len thinks it's a huge step back. Then he stops, and Tom just stares at him, and Len says he thought he was supposed to be quick. Well, Len's right. It wasn't good. I wish someone had mentioned hip action, though. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 6 and Bruno 7.
Hines is up . He talks about his mother, who was an immigrant from Korea, who had trouble getting a job, but she stuck it out because she wanted Hines to have a chance in America. And he went to college and played pro ball. Hines works hard to get the dance right, because his mother made a lot of sacrifices for him and he wants to celebrate her. Aw. As a mom, I find that sweet.
Hines has got that samba bounce DOWN. He is on it. I still say he reminds me more of Apolo even though everyone compares him to Emmitt Smith. Anyway, he has got the moves, and he looks great. There are a few missteps, including one near the end where I think Kym slips, but overall it's great and fun, and he's just got a huge personality and he can dance. Love it. And his mom is there, which is adorable. The judges loved it. It's not even worth detailing what each says, because they all say the same thing: Hines knows how to shake it. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8 and Bruno 8. I think that's the first 9 of the season, right?
Petra is obviously going to have a story about the tsunami. I know some people will think that she's exploiting her experience, but seriously, I have to imagine that when something like that happens to you, it does inform the rest of your life. She talks about the song "You Raise Me Up," and how she listened to it when she went back to the site of the tsunami and decided to start a foundation to help the children of the area. So Dmitry is trying to choreograph an angelic, hopeful waltz.
Well, it's very pretty. I found it kind of boring, but it was very beautiful. I really can't find much more to say about it than that. Although I think there was a lift but Carrie Ann didn't say anything, so I guess not. Len says that it had grace and fluidity. He adds that he loves this season because he comes into each night thinking he knows who will get high scores, and he's wrong every week. Bruno thinks Petra dances like an angel, and she was much improved. Carrie Ann thought Petra really showed her heart, and she's an inspiration. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 9 and Bruno 8.
Sugar Ray was told by the judges that he needs to put more punch into his feet. So his story this week is about beating the odds, and showing that he can do it even when everyone doubts it. They are doing the paso doble, and Anna has trouble getting Sugar Ray to be intimidating, which seems odd, since he's a boxer and all.
They get the "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" guy to announce Sugar Ray and he comes out in his robe and gloves. Bah. I hate gimmicks. This is the most boring paso doble of all time. It seems like a lot of walking around and not much actual dancing. Sugar Ray does manage to try to be intimidating, but his posture is horrible. He's got the attitude, but he's still not a good dancer. Bruno thinks Sugar Ray is back in business, but he thinks Ray needs to work on his lines. Carrie Ann thinks there was a lot of improvement. Len thinks that this is the first week that Ray beat the dance instead of the dance beating him. Am I just in a bad mood or something? Why are they loving these dances that I find really boring? Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 6 and Bruno 7.
Kirstie is thrilled that she gets to do the rumba this week, because it's slower. She tells Maks her story: when she first moved to LA, she got cast in Star Trek the same week that her parents were hit by a drunk driver. Her mom died and her father almost did, but she had to keep going on and her career started to take off. So she's dancing to "Over the Rainbow" because she thinks it's all about hoping for better things to come. During rehearsals, Maks tries to get her to be sexy, but she can't do it without laughing. Hmm. I would have thought Kirstie would be bawdier than that. She did famously thank her then-husband Parker Stevenson for giving her "the big one" all those years. Kirstie explains that she sees it more as being vulnerable than being sexy, and vulnerable is a tough place to be for a lot of people.
Oh, it's sad. The rumba starts off beautifully, and I have really high hopes. But then Maks is dragging Kirstie across the floor, and I don't know if he hyperextended his knee or what, but he totally drops her on the floor. Which is terrible for anyone, but you know everyone's going to think it's because of Kirstie's weight. Maks can't put any weight on it at first, but he asks for a second and the music continues. Soon, he's right back in it and for the second half, you wouldn't even know he's was injured. He really powers through it. He explains to Tom at the end that his thigh just gave out. Carrie Ann thinks that something magical happened out of a tragedy. Really, tragedy? Let's not overstate it. Len loved that they got through it. Bruno thought it was better than ever after she got up. Plus, people are going to vote for them, because they feel bad, don't you think? I also think Maks is hurting a lot more than he's showing, and he states backstage that it had nothing to do with Kirstie. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7 and Bruno 7. Kirstie acts upset about the scores. As the numbers are announced, Maks practically runs off camera and Tony and Cheryl quickly follow. I think he might be really hurt. I'm nervous.
Ralph Macchio is the last one to dance this week. He explains that the song "Stay Gold" from The Outsiders was very meaningful to him, and it was his wedding song with his wife Phyllis. They show wedding footage from 1987, and Ralph looks about fourteen. I hope that Ralph takes the money he's earning each week on this show and puts it towards a better wig, because the one he's got is terrible. Anyway, he dedicates this rumba to his wife, and it's sweet how devoted he still seems. At least publicly.
So this rumba is nice. I might be rumba'd out, after all of the rumbas this evening. You guys, I have watched The Outsiders more than a few times, and I do not remember this song at all. AT ALL. It's terrible. It's so 1980s. Ralph still has the problem of making the moves a bit too quickly and ahead of the beat, and his hip action is bad at times. However, some of his poses are very nice. He has the opposite problem of Chelsea; he does better in hold than out of it. At the end, he goes over and kisses his wife and high fives his son. I dig that his family looks like any family you'd see at the mall. Like his son is a little awkward. Len thinks the routine needs a little refinement, but overall it was appealing. Bruno needs Ralph to treat Karina like a woman and not like she's too hot to handle. Carrie Ann thought it was sweet, and then the judges all start yelling over one another. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7 and Bruno 7. For all their arguing, the judges agreed on their scores.
I note that Maks, Tony and Cheryl are not back in the interview room while Ralph is talking. But in the very end when Tom reviews the scores, they are all back out there and Maks is smiling, so who knows? Here are the scores:
Hines and Kym: 25
Petra and Dmitry: 25
Chelsea and Mark: 23
Kendra and Louis: 23
Chris and Cheryl: 21
Kirstie and Maks: 21
Ralph and Karina: 21
Romeo and Chelsie: 20
Sugar Ray and Anna: 20
Wendy and Tony: 15
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Watch Maksim explain his fall in this video interview.
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