By Kim
You know, the more I think about the scores last night, the madder I get about Kurt and Anna. I thought they were actually good -- at least in the top half of performances for last night. And to score them second lowest? It's a travesty. And I don't even want to like Kurt! And here I am arguing that he was underscored. See what this show does to me?
Tom and Brooke start out by preparing to reveal some of the couples that are safe. But first, of course, we have to relive last night's show. The highlights (or lowlights) included Audrina learning that she needed to point her toes harder, Maks thought their dance might have stopped Len's pacemaker, and Jennifer Grey showed her age for the first time this season when she says that something was "dope, yo." Oh, Jennifer. Don't do that. I also just noticed that Derek is growing a mustache and goatee. Oh, Derek. Don't do that. So Audrina, Jennifer, and Brandy are ready to find out if they are safe, and...they all are!
Hey, my least favorite segment returns - let's hear what the live audience thought about the show! Not surprisingly, they liked some couples and disliked some others. Useless. So who's going to get the encore dance? No surprise here -- Jennifer and Derek. I agree. I actually watched it twice last night, and I rarely do that. It is flawless yet again, although they changed the opening. Maybe the piano player was like, "Hands off my piano, guys!" But it's still really good and I know a lot of people get sick of hearing about how awesome Derek is, and feel like the producers favor him, but he is an amazing choreographer. You cannot deny that.
The Goo Goo Dolls are here to perform "Iris." God, how sick are they of this song? It was so overplayed when it was popular that I'm STILL sick of it, all these years later. I guess Johnny Rzzzzzezzzznik can't hit the high notes anymore, because he's not even trying to sign them. Dmitry and Chelsie are out to dance along -- I think it's a waltz? Man, the Goo Goo Dolls sound like shit. They are phoning it in. I hate to say it, since they're my homeboys, being from Buffalo and all. I am allowed to count anyone from Upstate New York and parts of Canada as homeboys. Those are the rules. Some other pro dancers come out for the second song in the medley. I don't like how the male half of this couple dances. Not that they asked me. This whole number is not doing it for me. The music sounds horrible, and Johnny has had a lot of work done on his face and looks scary. Do not want.
Brooke talks to Kyle and Lacey and Mark and Bristol backstage. Kyle and Lacey reveal that they have the foxtrot if they return week, which makes yet another slow dance for them. Bummer. Bristol says that she thought the judges were a little harsh on her because she thinks she's improving as a dancer and performer. She actually doesn't sound totally awkward, so she's definitely improving as an interview question-answerer. Brooke is not improving as an interviewer, since she once again leaves the mike thrust into Bristol's face for a ten count after Bristol finishes her response, so Mark jumps in and babbles to save the moment from being completely awkward. Then Tom reminds us that last night, Len told Mark that he (Len) doesn't take his shirt off and expose himself. Not so fast, Dance Master. Turns out that Len did appear shirtless during one of the DanceCenter segments. And yikes! He is a hairy dude, but only from the biceps down. Creepy. So in your face, Len! You lied! Was anyone that worked up about it? Eh, any excuse to show DanceCenter footage, right?