Tom reminds us that each couple had to do two dances last night, and one couple will not be making it to week's semifinals. This season, with its smaller starting lineup, has been so much better than last season's bloated affair. I feel like it's moved right along at a good clip, and especially once Kate Gosselin was gone, it felt like the right people were leaving in the right weeks for the most part. So what will happen tonight? Let's find out LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
Before there can even be opening credits, the couples are lined up on the stage to find out some results. What is Brooke wearing? It's not a bandage dress for once, but it's got some ugly black ruffle on one shoulder that looks like a wood fungus is overtaking her body. Maybe it's true. Oh, I guess they're not showing results yet.
Because first, we have to hear Len's recap of last night's dances. Len thought Evan's waltz was good, but thought his futuristic cha cha had too much future and not enough cha cha. He points out that Erin's tango was a revelation but her rumba wasn't fluid enough. Len thinks that Niecy and Chad are the pretenders and not the contenders. Chad's posture is not great (thank you someone for finally pointing that out!). Len adds that Niecy did well with her waltz but didn't wow with her paso doble. Len was mesmerized by Nicole's foxtrot and thought her '50s paso doble was "a marriage made in heaven." But isn't that more Derek's doing than Nicole's? I'm just saying.
Len gets to announce who gets the encore. He calls Derek and Nicole's '50s paso doble the dance of the season and possibly the dance of all ten seasons of the show. Really? I mean, it was good but it didn't give me chills like, say, some of Maks and Mel's routine, or even Derek's paso doble from the future of last season. I think it's because I just don't feel the emotion from Nicole and I'm not rooting for her. It's like watching the pro dances. I can appreciate that they're good, but since I'm not rooting for any of them, so I don't get emotionally involved.
Time for cross promotion! The Gipsy Kings are here to play a Latinified version of "You've Got a Friend in Me" from Toy Story 3. As they sing, Tony and Cheryl along with Dmitry and Kym (who I thought was Edyta for the first few moments) do a paso doble with colorful capes. Shiny!
DanceCenter! DanceCenter! Jerry Rice, Kenny Mayne, and Len are on hand to analyze the final five. They start with Niecy, and they go for the easy jokes about how she is fat because she eats all the time. I can't blame them; Niecy has made the joke herself a lot. It's disappointing because I admire her stance that she's not there to pull a Kelly Osbourne and lose a ton of weight, and that she wants to show that bigger girls can still dance. But then to go the cheap and easy route of "fat girls love food" is just lame. She's a better comic than that. Anyway, up is Chad Ochocinco, and they basically just make fun of him for not having a Super Bowl ring like Jerry. Len thinks Nicole is bizarrely talented and they show rehearsal footage of her smelling her armpits. See, if they showed more goofy parts and less crying, I might like Nicole more. DanceCenter has kind of lost its edge. Their biggest jokes were "Niecy eats a lot," "Chad hasn't won a Super Bowl," and "Nicole is goofy"? As Ochocinco would say, "Child, please."
Time for some results. Guess who's moving on to the semifinals? Nicole and Derek. No surprise. And guess who's in the bottom two for the first time? Chad and Cheryl. Chad pouts, probably jokingly.
So now that the season is nearly over, the show is introducing a college dancing championship. Okay. The first school to compete is UC San Diego. We see a clip package introducing the team, and then five couples come out and do a samba. It's okay. The group as a whole looks good but when you look at the individual couples, there is some things missing, and I'm not super impressed with the choreography. What did the judges think? Len was impressed with the staging and patterns, as was Bruno. Carrie Ann tells them to make sure they don't sacrifice passion for technique (and brings up Evan as an example, ouch). The judges score them: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8 for a total of 24.
After the break, it's time to see the team from Purdue University. They get their own clip package. They are doing the mambo. There are only four couples on their team. They do a series of lifts and the last couple totally muffs it and the girl's legs barely get off the ground. Ouch. The tempo also seems really slow, and I don't think they are as in sync as the first group. Judges? Bruno liked the hip action but didn't think they had enough pattern changes. Carrie Ann likes their spirit, but also wanted more pattern changes. Len liked what he saw but agrees that there needed to be more pattern changes. So pattern changes are the key for them. Got it. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, and Bruno 7 for a total of 22. Viewers get to vote for the two teams, just like we do for the regular couples.
The Gipsy Kings are back for another song, and this time a bunch of people I don't know are dancing to it. I can appreciate this style of music, but it's not my bag. Maybe I'm just a homer, but I like seeing the regular pros dance instead of some people I don't know. I know it's weird. I can't explain it.
DanceCenter is back to review the rest of the remaining celebs. They should put Adam Carolla on DanceCenter. Or at least hire better writers. They rave about Evan's awesome hair and then Kenny makes fun of him for his lack of excitement or energy. Okay, that part was funny. Because it's true. He's a robot. The last to be reviewed is Erin Andrews. Kenny says that they both work for ESPN so he probably should stay out of it, but then makes fun of her for saying Maks is Russian when he's actually from the Ukraine. Len thinks Maks and Erin need to stop the childish bickering. That's it? Am I imagining that this segment used to have a little edge to it? That's why I liked it.
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Time for more results! The couple who will be going through are... Evan and Anna. And we have to wait until after the commercial to find out more. So joining Chad and Cheryl in the bottom two will be either Niecy and Louis or Erin and Maks. So who is safe? Erin and Maks.
So that means the bottom two are Chad and Cheryl and Niecy and Louis. That's about right. We don't even get to hear Len say who he thinks should go home, because he would probably say either one is fine with him. So who's going home? Niecy and Louis. No surprise there. I will miss her though. I hope, like many of the other comedians who have been on the show, she returns in future seasons to do a segment of her own commenting on the action. Niecy tells Brooke that she has "three C-sections under her belt" and she's impressed that she made it so far against such tough competition. Tom tells Niecy that he's been a fan of hers for a long time, and he expected her to be bombastic, but he was surprised by her elegance. Niecy thanks him and thanks her mom and boyfriend. Cue the clip package about her journey. Aw, I got goosebumps. Love her. I would take ten Niecys over one Evan, because at least she has some personality. For her final dance, Niecy requests something to "get crunk" and I'm not sure what the band starts playing, but it seems lame. Niecy makes the best of it. That should be her one-woman Broadway show: Niecy Makes the Best Of It.
Watch the results and see who we think the most ill-advised contestants were.
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