Episode Report Card Kim: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Clomp, Clomp, Sneer
By Kim | Season 10 | Episode 4 | Aired on 04.05.2010
Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 7.Oh, Ochocinco. Please do better this week. Cheryl tells Chad in rehearsals that their story is going to be him trying to seduce her and her refusing him. Chad jokes that it's art imitating life, but he has a lot of trouble with the steps. He knows that NFL players have always done well with the paso, so he needs a comeback. Well, he does a great job with the story and the passion of the dance, but his technique is still pretty terrible. He just sort of throws his arms up in the air instead of placing them, and his posture is not the way it needs to be in a paso.
Bruno starts out with the first "release the Kraken" joke, and says that he loved the attitude and it was much better, even if the lines were a bit off. Carrie Ann loves how he used his energy to focus on Cheryl and it was much better. Len agrees that it was better, but he needs to work on his posture. I really hope he gets to stick around and do another Latin dance because I think he could do better with that. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 6, and Bruno 7. That's about right.
Pamela admits that she didn't put much effort into the voting last week, and she didn't even get her kids or her ex-husband to vote for her, and she's learned her lesson. I've read the stories about how Pamela refused to be interviewed unless they had certain lighting, and if you look at her interview segments, you can see that she has very different lighting than everyone else. Pamela is worried about doing the paso doble because she's really against bull fighting. So how do you solve that moral quandary? You invite Charo to your rehearsal! I mean, obviously. Duh. Anyway, their paso isn't as good as their routines last week. Pamela seems unfocused at times and she screws up the steps more than once. I also don't really get what the story is supposed to be other than the usual paso story. She looks pretty good, though.
Carrie Ann got that the story was supposed to be that she hated the bull fighter, but she thought Pamela got too into it and threw herself off. Len liked the intensity but she needs to refine the dance. Bruno agreed it was sexy, but it was also a really good performance. Really? I didn't think it was that great. Well, let's see what the scores are, because that's what matters. Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 7. Behind them, you can see Kate talking to Jake and looking miserable as always.
Aiden puked from nerves after his dance last week, and thank God they got it on tape and showed us this week! Anyway, they have the quickstep this week, and their story is that Aiden is painting the woman of his dreams and she comes to life. Aiden reveals something about rehearsing the quickstep that I hadn't really considered -- you can't practice it full speed every time or you would die. But even rehearsing at half or three quarter speed is exhausting. You know what part of the problem for this couple is? No chemistry. You'd think between sex bomb Edyta and Aiden's soap acting skills, they could brew up some chemistry, but there just isn't any. None. Maybe they hate each other? No, because even then there would be intensity of emotion. Aiden gets most of the steps down but it's just...lackluster. And he screws up the first pass. And the song sucks. It's just sort of there, all around. He has nice posture? I wanted to say something nice.
Len says it was too careful, and that's what I was trying to say. Bruno thought it was an improvement in both confidence and technique. Carrie Ann thinks he's more at ease, but he was a little too skippy for her. Like he was bouncing around the floor. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 6, and Bruno 7.
Erin and Maks have the waltz this week, and their story is that Erin is giving herself over to Maks, and to demonstrate it, she's going to dance blindfolded. You guys, they are totally doing it. I just started sweating while watching them rehearse. Erin realizes she has control issues and has a hard time submitting, so this is a challenge. Man, I don't know what the story is they are trying to tell, but I think it's "we are having sex a lot and we might do it right here on the dance floor." Damn. So Erin starts the dance regular, and then Maks puts the blindfold on her. Whoo! Kinky. Can't wait to see what Bruno has to say about this. At the end, she rips off the blindfold and twirls it around. I don't even know how she danced. I couldn't pay attention. That was hot.
Bruno tells Erin that she's kinky, and then gets to the dancing. He advises Erin to connect her phrases better. Carrie Ann loved the storytelling and their prop and she loved it. Len thought there was too much business at the beginning and it was boring. He liked what waltzing she did, but there wasn't enough of it. He asks for more dancing. Tom jokes to Erin, "Apparently you weren't the only one blindfolded." As Tom tries to read the teleprompter to throw to commercial, Maks blindfolds him and Tom barely misses a beat because he is awesome. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, and Bruno 8.
Ugh. Kate and Tony. I don't even want to watch this. So they're dancing to "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga, which Kate says she can relate to. Tony thinks Kate is bottling up her emotions so he brings in an acting coach. Kate still can't get her face to match what she's feeling, so they have her punch a punching bag to express her anger. She's still got dead eyes. You guys, I think she's just a sociopath. Or a robot. Or an alien trying to learn how to be human and failing. That would explain so much, actually. So the story of their dance is that Kate is... herself? A celebrity? And Tony is a member of the paparazzi taking her picture. Oh my God, I just burst out laughing and had to pause the recording. Kate is clomping around like a cow and her way of showing anger on her face is baring her teeth in a sneer for .5 seconds. She really is a robot. It's like "Clomp, clomp, turn, clomp, clomp, sneer." Does she look in the mirror while she's dancing at all? Does she think this looks good? After her two sneers, she goes back to her usual blank face for the rest of the dance. Earlier, in her clip package, she said that if she's thinking about cooking dinner, you'll see that on her face while she's dancing and that's not true. She's just BLANK. There is nothing there. My favorite part is at the end, after fighting Tony the whole dance, she grabs onto his leg like, "Don't go!" Did she think through the implications of that? Because I think it's totally true -- she claims to hate the fame yet she needs it, or thinks she does, to make a living. Okay, let me say two nice things. One, it took balls to come back out this week after the drubbing she took last week. And two, she pointed her toes on her kicks this week, which she didn't do before. Ooh, look at her fellow contestants "clapping" for her. Niecy has it all over her face. I wish Niecy would call me and give me the behind-the-scenes dirt.
Carrie Ann says it was odd, and hard to watch. None of the emotion made it to Kate's face. Len thinks she got over her nerves, but all she did was walk around with no intensity. Bruno thought she played the "super bitch from hell" with her face (um, how is that different from any other week?) and now she needs to dance instead of walk around the floor. Scores: Carrie Ann 5, Len 5, and Bruno 5. Dude, that was generous.
Nicole and Derek are the final dancers of the episode. Thank God I get to cleanse my palate from the horror of Kate. Derek has come up with a story for their quickstep where they are two sailors slacking off. Nicole's sailor is showing a lot of cleavage. I didn't know sailors had that kind of boobage. Don't ask, don't tell. They're trying to do a vaudeville routine but Nicole gets frustrated and scared and melts down in rehearsal. See, that's the "she's not perfect and feeling the weight of expectations" edit, so we'll feel sorry for her even though she got 10s last week. And wow, it's really good again. I don't think Nicole's technique is perfect, and I'm not seeing a lot of quickstep content, but she's such a performer and Derek's choreography is so good that