Last night brought the first perfect score of the season for Mya and Dmitry and their '70s samba, and no one really did horribly! And yet, someone has to go home tonight, so who shall it be?
Tom asks Len which dance he would like to see again. Weirdly, they don't pick the one that got a perfect score, but they want to see Joanna and Derek's paso doble from THE FUTURE! Len addresses this by saying...well, he doesn't actually do a good job of explaining it. I think the routine is almost as good as last night but it doesn't have the wow factor since we've seen it once already. I do admire the fact that, if they didn't announce what kind of dance it was at the beginning, I would be able to tell that it's a paso doble even though it looks very different from the traditional routine.
Time to review what happened last night. Aaron and Karina were at the bottom of the scoring, as were Donny and Kym. Aaron was happy to get praise from the judges and Donny had a great time dancing. Kelly and Louis are , and Kelly was thrilled with her own performance. Joanna and Derek got good but not great scores. Mya and Dmitry finally got their perfect score, and we all learned that Dmitry doesn't look horrible with a '70s pornstache.
They're already going to reveal a couple that is safe! Man, that took no time at all .I guess it's because they have a lot of performances to do tonight. Anyway, the first couple that is safe is... Joanna and Derek. It's funny because when they turn out the spotlight over them, their LED costumes light up so you can still see them.
Apparently, now we're going to review what happened last night one more time. Dude. Didn't we just do this? If you have time to do TWO recaps of last night's episode, your results show may just be too long. I can't believe they can't come up with more original content. Let DanceCenter be two segments long. The only interesting things that happen are that Louis and Kelly cry and embrace after getting good scores for their ballroom dance. Both of them cry! They clearly like each other a great deal, and I think it's sweet. It has made me like Louis more.
Michael Buble is on to perform. See, now I'm starting to think that there must be something wrong with the audio setup on this show because he's off key, and I'm pretty sure that Michael Buble knows how to sing. Anyway, Jonathan and Maks come out to dance, and they are soon joined by Anna and Cheryl. These four always look like they're having a lot of fun on the dance floor. Okay, but seriously, are the monitors bad? Because Michael Buble just hit a really bad note. Maks gives Cheryl a big kiss at the end of the dance (on the cheek, pervs) -- I bet that will start a lot of rumors.
Backstage, Samantha asks Derek and Joanna what they plan to do to stay consistent. Joanna's solution is to keep eating. I don't know. Maybe she forgets to eat? Derek takes the opportunity to give props to Joanna for getting poor scores in the first round and coming through and kicking ass in her second dance.
Tom is ready to reveal who will be joining Joanna and Derek in the second round and it is... no shocker, Mya and Dmitry. And coming up , Sabrina Bryant is back in the Design-A-Dance, which was assembled by committee. People voted on who would dance, to what song, doing what routine, and what they would wear. Sounds like a trainwreck.
Time for DanceCenter! Len, Jerry Rice, Kenny Mayne, and Stacey Keibler are here to provide some laughs for once. Or at least laughs on purpose. They start by profiling Joanna and my first chuckle comes courtesy of the stat: "Chest: Don't be rude." Come on! That's funny. Okay, I realize that the only thing less funny that someone trying too hard is me explaining all of the jokes, so I'll just quote some of the funny lines and move on. There is a moment where Donny and Bruno are looking very cozy, and I do appreciate Donny's ability to laugh at himself and not be all "Ew, gay!" but then again this joke sort of relies on the idea that it's hilarious to be gay, so I don't know. Anyway, they don't make fun of Aaron enough for my tastes, but he's so sensitive and I'd hate to see him cry some more.
Hey, guess who's dancing with Sabrina in Design-A-Dance? Mark Ballas! What a shocker! Except that stupid Corky posted about it online a few days ago and kind of ruined the surprise. So they are doing the paso doble to "Eye of the Tiger" in some supremely cheesy tiger-striped outfits. Given that these two dated and allegedly had a bad breakup, the whole love/hate thing of the paso doble actually kind of works on them. There are a couple of weirdo moves, but Sabrina could easily be a pro. If she just showed up and danced, and I didn't know who she was, I might believe that she's a pro. She's that good, at least at this one dance. Mark spends a weirdly long time at the end of the song, after the music ends, with his nose buried in Sabrina's cleavage. Wonder how his girlfriend feels about that.
Michael Buble is back to perform again. I hope they fixed his audio issues. He sings "Feelin' Good" and he is no Nina Simone, but it's much better than his first song. Two pros that I don't know (I don't think) come out and dance and they are pretty awesome. Tom says their names at the end of the dance but I couldn't hear him over the audience shrieking.
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Samantha is backstage with the three couples who still don't know if they are staying or going. How much Botox does Donny have in his forehead, by the way? It is immobile. He looks like Marcia Cross. Donny says that if he goes home now, he'll have learned how much a body can ache. Kelly says that she's learned that you can do anything you want. Aaron has learned a lot of life lessons, which doesn't really answer the question.
The three couples come back out on stage to learn one more couple that is safe. And that couple is... Donny and Kym. If Donny's face could move, you'd probably be able to tell that he's happy. So either Aaron and Karina or Kelly and Louis are going home. But we're not going to find that out quite yet.
About six months too late, Susan Boyle is here to perform her big song. I kind of missed the whole Susan Boyle thing somehow. Like I read about it, but I was never interested enough to watch the YouTube video or anything, and I find it kind of insulting that people were like, "Wow, she's old and ugly and yet she can still sing!" Because only attractive people have good voices? It just always rubbed me the wrong way somehow. Tony and Chelsie are on hand to dance as Susan sings and you're going to be shocked, but Chelsie isn't wearing shoes. I know. Anyway, Susan Boyle has a beautiful voice but it's not my bag. It's like music that your aunt would want to see in concert at Christmas time or something. She doesn't even really have a Broadway voice (even though she's singing a Broadway song). Didn't Sharon Osbourne just insult Susan Boyle in the papers too? I wonder if Kelly steered clear backstage.
Finally, some relief from the schmaltz with the second half of DanceCenter. They make fun of Kelly's swearing, and then joke that Dmitry is one of the celebrities because Mya must be the pro. I kind of think that DanceCenter has been defanged a bit over the years though. I feel like it was meaner back in the day, and I liked it. And then they play electric football like my brother and I used to play back in the '70s. Remember how it took like thirty minutes to set up all the little guys and then you'd turn on the giant vibrating piece of metal and... nothing would really happen? My brother had this whole complex set of rules on top of the actual set of rules to determine who won. And no surprise, he always won. Come to think of it, as my older brother, he usually won every game we played. Like we used to play Monopoly, and I didn't understand money or adding yet, so he would just tell me, "Give me one yellow one and one pink one" or whatever. And I always lost! He is such a cheater. I'm going to call him right now and give him a piece of my mind.
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Time to reveal who's going home! Tom gets as far as saying, "The couple who is not going through to the semifinals is... going to be revealed after these commercials." Oh, Tom. You are no Ryan Seacrest. And thank God for that.
So after the break, Tom is finally going to reveal who's going home. And who is eliminated? Aaron and Karina. Thank freaking God. I've been hoping for this for many weeks now. Kelly looks shocked. I think she really thought that she was done. In his final interview, Aaron says that the one thing he will always remember is the lessons that he's learned. See, again that doesn't answer the questions. Aaron thanks the judges for their criticism and helping him learn. Len has asked for time to speak to Aaron, which he's never done before, and he gives a nice speech about how proud he is of Aaron and how much he's grown. That's nice because I think Aaron really needed that. As much as he annoyed me, he's had it rough growing up and I hope he does get that approval he so desperately seeks. Okay, enough Psych 101. Thank God he's gone. Can't wait until week -- the semifinals! See you then.
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