Tom reviews the season, how it started with way too many contestants, and then some people got injured and some got eliminated, and how we've reduced the pool by half. So now they're going to have two weeks of double eliminations. This is what makes no sense to me. Why not have double eliminations when we have more sucky contestants, like in the third week? Give them a few weeks to get acclimated to the show, and then get rid of the dead weight early on. I mean, isn't it kind of boring watching people compete that you know have no chance in hell of winning? So just get rid of a bunch of them. Instead, we have to wait until we've narrowed it down to a group that's halfway decent, and then lose two of them in one week. It makes no sense to me. But anyway, they'll be dancing tonight, including a new thing called a Dance Marathon, and it'll all happen LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
Sam's got pageant hair tonight. They definitely busted out the hot rollers back in hair and makeup. It looks like my mom's hair at her wedding. In 1967. The couples are introduced. Y'all, I don't know what treatments or surgery or clean living or whatever that Louis Van Amstel has been doing, but he looks younger every week. He looks the same age as Kelly at this point, and I always thought of him as one of the older pro dancers. Holy crap, I just looked it up and he's 37. He looks way younger these days.
First to dance tonight are Mya and Dmitry. Last week, she had good technique but didn't make an emotional connection. This week, they have the jitterbug, and Mya is happy to hear it because it's a fun dance, and she's ready to have fun. Mya talks about the toll the dancing is taking on her body, but after a massage, she's ready to push on through. Their routine starts with Dmitry sweeping the floor with a broom while Mya dusts the judges' desk with a feather duster. There's way too much business at the beginning as Dmitry tries to get Mya to dance and she demurs until she's finally pulled into it. And again, it's technically very perfect, but I'm just not feeling it. Maybe it's the music, which I don't recognize. Mya is performing, but it feels hollow. I don't buy that she's having fun out there, and the same really goes for Dmitry. And frankly, the choreography doesn't look that hard to me.
Len hated the gimmicks and props, and he didn't like that they wasted 20 bars of music. I totally agree! He wanted more dancing. Bruno tells her not to worry because "cleanliness is to Godliness," and he compliments her timing and their synchronization. Carrie Ann thought it was too controlled and muted and underperformed. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, and Bruno 9. Len gets boos from the audience.
The couple to dance is Melissa and Mark, doing the waltz. Last week, Melissa's tango seemed more annoyed than intense. Melissa announces that she's ready to get serious. Now? She's ready now? Mark really needs to cut his hair. He has got quite the bush on his head. How can he think it looks good? Mark gives Melissa a hard time for raising her shoulders up to her ears. Mark brings his mother, professional dancer Shirley Ballas in, to help Melissa. She's kind of a ballbreaker, but it seems like it's what Melissa needs, because she's not listening to Mark. So how is their routine? Well, it's more graceful than Melissa has been in the past; I know I've ragged on her about that. She seems tentative at first, but gets into it a little better as it goes. Her footwork is better too. Near the end, her right shoulder goes up by her ear, which is what Mark kept telling her NOT to do. And then they do this weird spin at the end, and I'm not sure what was supposed to happen, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't right, because it looked horrible. The whole routine was adequate, but kind of boring, especially for this state in the competition.
Bruno says it wasn't good enough for week six, because Melissa was too much in her head and she lost her posture at the end. Carrie Ann thought it wasn't gliding and fluid enough and was too choppy. Len thought it had musicality and was elegant, while there were some problems. Len thinks the OTHER judges are too harsh. The world just turned upside down. Even Mark looks surprised to get praise from Len. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 6. So Len thought they were too harsh but gave the same score? Also, I should mention that Mark got a haircut after that horrible hair in rehearsal footage, thank God. I almost want to vote for them just because he cut his hair. But not really.
Last week, Mark finally broke through with the judges thanks to his paso doble. And he even made the usually sour Lacey laugh in their confessional. This week, they have the jitterbug and hope to keep it up. Lacey announces that she's making Mark do all the tricks and jumps since he can, and she's going to let him shine. Lacey takes him to a jitterbug club, and I thought those all closed like a year after Swingers came out. I don't understand Lacey's outfit in this routine; it's sort of a French maid but also sort of Minnie Mouse? Or a cat? Anyway, the routine itself is pretty awesome. High energy, with lots of tricks and flips by Mark, and the regular dancing is not bad either. It loses a little in the last quarter, but how could it not?
Carrie Ann thought it was amazing, despite a stumble at the end, and says that's what the energy she was looking for. Len says that sometimes less is more, but not with the jitterbug, and he thought this was great. Bruno calls it "truly spectacular," although he did lose the timing a little at the end. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 8.
Aaron won the judges back last week, but the viewers still hated his smarmy face and he ended up in the bottom two. Karina reminds him that they can only control their own performance, and everything else is out of their hands. Well, they can control how annoying Aaron is. A little bit. With their routine, they haven't completely solved what I think is Aaron's biggest non-personality-based problem; he looks feminine at times when he dances. It's better than it was on some of the Latin dances, but when they're dancing out of hold, he still looks a little girly. Their dance is quite pretty though, and it doesn't have the desperation Aaron has shown in the past.
Len thought it was mature with good posture, and they had a good connection. Len pronounces it Aaron's best dance so far. Bruno thought Aaron became a man tonight, and though he lost his footing a few times, it was good. Carrie Ann thought it was beautiful, even though he lost his footing a bit. Carrie Ann enjoyed his dignity. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 9, and Bruno 8. What's up with Len and the high scores tonight?
Michael has never been a favorite of the judges, based on scoring, but he got his best scores so far last week. He still knows that his fans are saving him, though. Michael has a radio show on ESPN, and his fans call in and tell him how much they've been voting for him. During rehearsals, Michael gives an inspirational speech to himself in the mirror and I practically expect the NFL Films music to start up. So how does he handle the waltz? You know what? It's not bad. It's way better than I expected. His posture leaves a bit to be desired, but I'm captivated. It wasn't great, but it was good for him.
Bruno says Michael was having fun, and it was okay, but it was not as good as it should be in week six. Carrie Ann thinks that there was a lift in there, but she was charmed by the waltz. Len says that he can't believe that three people watched this dance and two got it totally wrong because he thinks Michael was great, and had the best footwork of any waltz they've seen tonight. I think Len got laid or something. He's usually even more grouchy than I am. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 8, and Bruno 6. Samantha points out that it's their first eight from Len.
Kelly is also dressed as Minnie Mouse this week, which is apparently the dress of choice for jitterbuggers. Last week, Kelly got hurt but she's fine, so that was boring. The problem that Louis has with her in rehearsals is that after every step, she asks, "Was that bad?" That would get really annoying, really quickly. So to try to show her that she can do anything, Louis makes her go on a trapeze. I don't know. It worked for Carrie Bradshaw, I guess. She just needs to get over her fear of looking dumb, I think. So their jitterbug is cute, but it's not as high-energy or high-flying as some of the other ones. It seems like a jitterbug that a much older competitor would do. I don't know if Louis had to tone it down due to Kelly's injury or lack of stamina or what, but it's kind of dull. It's well-executed, and every time Kelly smiles, she lights up the room, but compared to some of the earlier routines, it's not that exciting.
Carrie Ann enjoyed Kelly's sense of fun, and encourages her to stay happy and not get up in her head when she has a slight stumble. Len thought it was a little flat-footed, perhaps due to her injury, and he was disappointed. Bruno thought it was cute and nice, and now she has to be more of a performer and get rid of her fear. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 6, and Bruno 7. Kelly is a little disappointed, but she says that she tried and she had a lot of fun.
The bottom two couples this week (and ?) will have to dance in a dance-off, and the judges will decide who goes home. So each couple has spent time this week working on a special routine just for that occasion. As Michael points out, if he's the one in the dance-off, then his fans can't save him, so he'll really have to worry about technique.
The couple to dance is Louie and Chelsie. I don't know what's going on with Louie's hair this week. It's like he used Seinfeld's low-flow showerhead. As they rehearse the tricks, Louie discovers that he's not that comfortable with them. So they watch some footage of Louie snowboarding and Chelsie tries to get him to apply those same skills to the jitterbug. We'll see how that goes. Wow. I'm actually really impressed with this routine. Louie's kicks are really high and he shows more physical enthusiasm for this routine than any he's done. I feel like he's actually putting in some effort. His footwork is still not great, but his tricks are, especially a back flip he does off the judges' table.
Len says that parts of that were fantastic, especially his enthusiasm, but the problem is that he loses his energy in parts. Bruno thinks the craziness suits the dance, but he needs to work on precision. Carrie Ann loved it, especially the energy and athleticism, but he dropped his partner twice. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 7.
Last week, Joanna danced with Maks when Derek was down and out with the flu. But this week, Derek is back to dance the waltz. Joanna realizes that she has to be slow and controlled. I think that Derek is not quite healthy. He doesn't look good in rehearsals. He's sweaty and kind of pale, and easily frustrated. He works with her on her frame, which is already worlds better than Melissa Joan Hart's. So can she pull it off in their performance? You know what's weird to me? Derek seems a little off this week, more than Joanna. Usually, he's great at ballroom, but I think he might still be sick or something. Either that or he's covering for her mistakes, but there are times when he stutters a bit on his steps. Joanne looks great, although I caught a few points where she could have pointed her toes and extended her legs a little more.
Bruno says it was like "watching a butterfly gently gliding over an Alpine meadow." Carrie Ann thought her lines were graceful, but she saw a lot of hesitation. I think that's what I saw, and I really think it was Derek not leading as strongly as he usually does. Len thought there were some problems with her footwork, but he appreciated that they didn't mess about at the beginning. By the time Len is done talking, Derek has broken out in a serious sweat. That boy is not right. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 9, and Bruno 9.
Donny and Kym are the last to go, and for some reason they are wearing choo choo train outfits. Like I think they might be pitching a children's show. A really disturbing children's show. Last week, they got their highest score ever, so this week Kym has got some crazy moves planned. The problem is that Donny is old and he's having a hard time with all the lifts and tricks. So then Donny and Kym do their volunteering thing, which I'm sure every couple will get around to this season at some point. Their routine starts, and in the beginning Donny loses the plot a bit and his arms are just flailing around, but he quickly regains control and gets the audience really into it. It's high energy, for sure.
Carrie Ann says that it was engaging, but they had some stumbles and got out of sync. Len thought it was entertaining and a great performance, despite the stumbles. Bruno knows that Donny can work a room, but he could tell Donny was having trouble keeping up at times. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8.
So the dance marathon is happening now, and it's the mambo. This whole thing just reminds me of that episode of Happy Days where Fonzie promised Joanie that he would be her partner in a dance marathon, but then his motorcycle broke down and he had to walk like a hundred miles home, but he didn't want to let Shortcake down, so he did the marathon anyway. And they were up against this really obnoxious short blonde girl (played by Charlene Tilton!) and her tall partner, and Fonzie was practically dead on the dance floor, and then the blonde girl decided to do a challenge dance and Fonzie collapsed. Joanie was totally a bitch about it so they finally told her why Fonzie was so tired, and she went and told the Fonz that they could throw in the towel. But then Fonzie remembers that he said he would get a crewcut if Blondie won the marathon and as they are taking him out the door on a stretcher, he grabs the doorjamb and pulls himself back in. He issues his own dance challenge, some crazy Russian dance that my cousin Steve could totally do like a pro, where you squat down and kick your legs out to the side. And Blondie and her partner couldn't do it, so Joanie and Fonzie won! And then Fonzie practically did die, and Richie kept saying "Yowza yowza yowza." Man, I love that show. And I realize the whole thing was a ripoff of They Shoot Horses, Don't They? but it was way better.
So anyway, that's not what this is at all. In this competition, all of the dancers will be doing the mambo at the same time, and the judges will tap them on the shoulder to tell them that they're out one at a time. The longer you stay, the more points you get. Some of the couples are worried about technique, and some are worried about stamina. They can also try to dominate the dance floor through movement, too. Some of the couples, like Donny and Kym, are planning a routine, while others, like Kelly and Louis, are planning on doing freestyle. This should be interesting.
After Tom and Samantha explain the scoring again, the couples take the floor. It looks like the couples are required to stay in one spot at first, as no one is moving all that much. Michael and Anna are the first couple to be told to leave the floor. Louie and Chelsie are . There are so many couples that the cameras keep switching views. They should just do a wide shot so we can compare the couples. Melissa and Mark are told to leave , followed by Kelly and Louis. Aaron's desperation has returned, big time. It would have been nice to get a sense, before this started, of what the judges would be looking at to determine the order, because right now it just seems arbitrary. Mark and Lacey leave . Now that there are only four couples left, the couples are allowed to move around on the floor. Derek and Joanna are doing some crazy tricks, and Donny and Kym have to leave. Donny doesn't seem to want to go, but finally does, and then Aaron and Karina are eliminated.
So it's down to Joanna and Derek and Mya and Dmitry. Derek is really hotdogging it, taking up a lot of space on the floor. The judges confer for quite a while before finally eliminating Mya and Dmitry. Derek and Joanna get a victory lap of a few extra bars for dancing before leaving the floor.
When the dance ends, Len says that he loved it, and the judges argued every time. Carrie Ann says it was close between Joanna and Mya at the end, but Joanna seemed really determined to win and it put her over the top.
Here are the final scores and the mambo competition helped Joanna and Derek and Kelly and Louis the most -- they moved up the most spots. So I'm going to say that Melissa and Mark will be eliminated tomorrow straight off, and then Michael and Anna and Aaron and Karina will have to do the dance-off, with the judges finally getting rid of Michael as they have wanted to do for so long. See you tomorrow!:
Joanna and Derek: 26 + 10 = 36
Mark and Lacey: 26 + 6 = 32
Aaron and Karina: 25 + 8 = 33
Mya and Dmitry: 24 + 9 = 32
Donny and Kym: 24 + 7 = 31
Kelly and Louis: 20 + 5 = 25
Louie and Chelsie: 21 + 3 = 24
Melissa and Mark: 20 + 4 = 24
Michael and Anna: 20 + 2 = 22
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see who vloggers Val and Beth think should be on the show in TV is the Answer!