It's Latin night! That could be bad news for some of the slower/older dancers, who tend to be better at ballroom than Latin. And wait! Tom didn't say LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! I feel so incomplete.
The couples make their way down the stairs to the stage. Latin brings out the bright and flashy costumes, right? And wigs, apparently. But I'll get to that later. Also, that Anna T. is a big girl. Like she's standing in front of Michael Irvin, professional athlete, and you almost can't see him. She's big and her hair has secrets. And Len is back! Samantha debiggified her hair this week. She announces that Tom DeLay has a stress fracture in his foot but of course they won't be announcing until later how that might affect his ability to compete. Hopefully, we just get to send him home.
Last week, Mark slipped on his pants leg and got a little off, and it affected his scores. This week, he and Lacey have the rumba, and Lacey has to try to get Mark to do things slowly because he normally behaves like a hyperactive child. I don't get how someone with so much martial arts discipline could be so unable to contain himself. When their actual routine starts, there's some business at the beginning where Mark teases some lady (his wife?) sitting in the audience, like he's a player. I actually don't really understand the storyline they've set up for this dance, but who cares? His hip action is good when he's dancing alone, but when they're in hold, he kind of forgets to move his hips and just walks. He's got great arm placement and flexibility; Lacey should choreograph to those strengths more. It's good but not compelling.
Judges? Len knows that the rumba is difficult for non-professional men, and this was a bit on the hard and masculine side, and he didn't feel the partners' connection. Bruno also thought there was a lack of chemistry. Carrie Ann thinks Mark is one of the best dancers in the competition, but lacks something, and it may be that connection with his partner. The audience gasps when Carrie Ann says that Mark looked awkward out there. Oh, relax audience. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 6. The audience boos.
Joanna and Derek are up . After last week's horse hair, Joanna is wearing a weird wig. [Do the costume designers just delight in making models look terrible? -- Angel] They have the samba this week. Derek tries to get Joanna to be sexy but the face she's making looks like a dead fish. Derek seems to like it, though. They work on samba rolls, and at least it's better than the one that Maks did with Denise Richards, although that's not saying much. So for their samba, Derek swings down onto the dance floor on a rope, which Len will probably hate. Their samba is adequate but not electric. Joanna looks more like a stripper than a Latin dancer when she rolls her hips around, and she doesn't bend her knees enough. Or something. I can't figure out what's weird about her legs, but they look like a Barbie Doll. It reminds me of Susan Lucci. And she takes steps that are too big, and they put her out of position for the series of moves. The samba rolls are passable, but I have to believe she did better in rehearsal.
Bruno thought their dance was full of excitement and life, but Joanna made some footwork mistakes, and she needs to work on her strength. See? Just like they told La Lucci! Carrie Ann loves that Joanna was fearless and just went for it, and that it was so sexy. Len appreciated both the dancing and the choreography. He loves Derek's choreography, doesn't he? I guess because he always includes standard ballroom elements. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 8, and Bruno 8. That seems a little high to me.
Mya and Dmitry finally hit their stride last week with their jive. But did they peak too early? This week, they have the rumba, which needs to be sexy. Dmitry also has to think about making their dance traditional, since Len got on them about their waltz. So then there's this ridiculously set up and fake thing where Mya makes the studio more romantic to help her get in the mood. Whatever. When they start their routine, Dmitry does a good job with the acting part, but Mya barely looks at him. I don't know if she's nervous or what, but she doesn't do a great job with the acting part of the dance, even as she does an amazing job with the dancing part. She looks great, but I'm not feeling the connection between them as strongly as I think it could potentially be.
Carrie Ann disagrees with me, as she claims she had the chills. She isn't even sure if they did a lift, because she was so caught up. For Christ's sake. Either she's a judge or a fan, but she can't be both. Len liked the chemistry, but he thought there was a bit much going on with the choreography. Bruno screams at Mya that she put all of America in the mood for love and then I think he calls her a whore? He said something about no price is too high for her. I'm sure that's not what he meant. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 7, and Bruno 10. Wow. Everyone goes quiet after Len's score. I don't think the 10s were earned, but I thought Len's score was low. I guess it all evens out.
Melissa and Mark are the couple to dance, and they have the samba this week. In rehearsals, Melissa has a hard time and Mark keeps pushing her and pushing her. She says that she wants to win, but only she can work on her technique. And she clearly worked really hard on her spray tan this week, because she is really, really dark. I also don't know what Mark is doing with his hair, but it's very poofy. When it comes to the actual dancing, it's very awkward. I think she's just not very graceful. She shakes her stuff all over the place but it looks weird. Maybe the judges can pinpoint it.
Len thought that Melissa really performed well, and had good foot and leg action, but she needs to feel the rhythm in her whole body. Bruno thought it was an improvement over last week, because she paid attention to her foot placement. Carrie Ann says that she can still see the fear in Melissa's performance, and she needs to let go of that. Tom makes a crack about how, when he sees Mark's hair, he wants to watch TJ Hooker. Yes! He's totally '80s Adrian Zmed. Good call, Tom. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno with a defiant 7.
Louie and Chelsie are up , and Louie slicked his hair back this week, to try to get into the rumba mood. I think Louie has a little crush on her, and she might like him a little too. I don't know if their acting up for the cameras or what, but they do have a lot of chemistry. So how does that translate to the dance floor? Well, they definitely have chemistry. They're practically doing it on the floor. I tried to watch for any sign of hip action or footwork from Louie but I was so caught up in whether or not they were going to make out, I didn't see one way or the other. Wasn't I just criticizing Carrie Ann for that? Then again, judging is not my job. It's just my hobby.
Bruno basically says that Louie is super horny and he loves it. Bruno recovers enough to say that the dancing needs to be more fluid. Carrie Ann says that she and Bruno were screaming over how cute Louie and Chelsie were on the floor. Len complains that he didn't see any finesse, and it was too hectic. Grouchy Len is back. Tom tells the kids not to worry about the grumpy old man. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 5, and Bruno 7. Holy crap! Len! Damn. That was not a 5 dance at all. I'm usually right there with Len, but jeez.
Debi and Maks hit the bottom two last week, so how will they battle back? Debi claims that now she's really motivated to work hard. Maks brings in Mel B. to talk to Debi about battling back from being in the bottom. I bet they had a really interesting conversation that got edited out, knowing those two. Maks thinks Debi is much more focused this week. So did it pay off in their samba? Well... not really. Debi just doesn't seem fully committed to the dance. I think she's thinking so hard about what the steps are that she's not following through on the step she's currently doing. Like instead of extending her arm all the way up in the air, she kind of half-asses it, but I don't think it's because she doesn't care or is embarrassed. She just seems distracted.
Carrie Ann thought the routine was cute but safe, and she wants to see more of Debi's fiery personality. Len thought she was precise, but it never ignited. Bruno also thinks she was disconnected, and he advises her to work it and work with Maks. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 5, and Bruno 6. I think the 6 was deserved; don't know about the 5. LEN.
Do you think Donny Osmond is on steroids? Because he's kind of getting that Jerry Lewis giant head syndrome. And his body isn't fat, so I don't think it's just that he's overweight or something. Anyway, this week, he and Kym have the rumba, and he has to work hard to be romantic with the rumba since he's more the happy-go-lucky guy. They're dancing to "Endless Love," and I have a soft spot for this song. It opens with Donny doing some solo dancing, and it's not bad, or even embarrassing to watch, which is what I feared. And he has hip action! I mean, he doesn't look like Maks or Derek, but it's there. It's romantic. Not in the hot young way that Chelsie and Louie were, but it's nice. Like a couple dancing on their 30th wedding anniversary -- sentimental.
Len starts out with a pointer on technique and keeping your legs straight, but then says that he thinks Donny did a great job. Bruno thought it looked pretty, but a little too balletic. Donny gives Bruno a big kiss and then dips him and roars. I don't know what in the hell is going on there. Donny just lost his damn mind. He jokes that they're not going to let him back in Utah, and Bruno yells, "Let's all go to Bora Bora." Carrie Ann tries to gather her thoughts, and says she gives Donny credit for doing a solo, even though he lost his musicality partway through. And she liked his vulnerability. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 7. Samantha says that Donny should have given Bruno tongue for a higher score. Oh, dear.
Tom goes over and interviews Paula Abdul, who's sitting in the audience to Lance Bass. She babbles all Paula-like about how Len is like Simon and she wants to make out with Carrie Ann. I'm so glad she's not a judge on this show. I can't take her nonsense. We already have Bruno, who's goofy but at least makes sense once in a while.
Michael and Anna work on their samba in rehearsals, and Michael gets all fired up. He doesn't want to work on new steps until he has the old ones down, but Anna thinks they have to keep moving. Anna decides that they need to write out their goals and check them off as he learns them so they are both on the same page. It seems to work. Before the season, I kind of thought Michael would be more interesting. He's disappointing me. Their samba is entertaining, if not great technically. Michael has a ton of personality on the dance floor, anyway. His biggest samba problem is lack of hip action. I think he's confused shaking his butt with hip action, and they're not the same. Anna is getting better at the Julianne school of choreography where she dances around a stationary partner, but we're getting to the point in the competition where that's not going to fly anymore, I think.
Bruno thinks they're going backwards, because Michael has charm and personality, but he was always on the wrong foot and messed up the steps. Carrie Ann thinks Michael has plenty of rhythm, but he's dancing too small. Len knows the samba is difficult, but this was a bit disappointing for him. Scores: Carrie Ann 5, Len 4, and Bruno 5. Wow. The judges are really holding back the high scores, unless your name is Mya. That's surprising. I didn't think it was THAT bad.
Natalie, who I think is gaining some momentum in the competition, has the rumba this week. Her problem in rehearsals is that she doesn't feel comfortable being sexy, and every time Alec gets close to her, she turns red. Edyta (who is Alec's wife) comes in and advises Natalie to make eye contact while dancing to make it sexier. But every time Natalie tries to make eye contact, she giggles. Their dance starts kind of weirdly, with Natalie on the floor under a giant veil and smoke in the background. Natalie does a great job with the sexiness, I think. And she doesn't giggle! Alec's choreography shows off Natalie's flexibility and strength too.
Carrie Ann is cheering and says that Natalie pulled through. Len thought it was expressive with good leg and hip action, and he loved it. Bruno tells Natalie that she didn't just fly, but she went stratospheric. He also calls her a sexy beast. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8, and Bruno 9.
Chuck and Anna impressed the judges with their tango last week, but now they have to do the samba. Anna explain to Chuck that this is a party dance, unlike the tango which was much more serious, and Chuck could use his intimidating nature. So then we find out that Chuck goes and gets pedicures with his tween daughter, so he's not all gruff and tumble. Chuck is also wearing giant ruffled sleeves. I mean, they are giant. He rips them off and throws them away early on, thankfully. Oh, his posture is horrible. And he has zero hip action. I think if Anna had choreographed this as a more smooth routine with more time in hold, he would have done better, because he almost got into a groove there for a second.
Len congratulates Anna on her choreography and Chuck on his ability to entertain. Bruno is all giggly as he explains that this routine obviously took a lot of work, but Chuck kind of looked like a zombie. Carrie Ann loves Chuck's attitude. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 5, and Bruno 6. That seems about right; I was worried after the comments that Chuck would get higher scores. I like his attitude, but he didn't deserver higher scores.
Karina and Aaron have the rumba this week, and Karina has to keep telling Aaron that he's overdoing it, because he's used to performing and making things bigger. If she didn't want him to overperform, maybe she shouldn't have dressed him in a powder blue smoking jacket. What the fuck is that thing? He looks like he's wearing a nightgown or something. I mean, he's a pretty slight and feminine dude anyway, and the outfit isn't helping. Earlier, Len said that the rumba can come off as either too feminine or too masculine and Mark was the latter. I think Aaron is the former. He's too flamboyant with his movements, and I see what Karina was talking about.
Bruno liked the attack, but says that it needed more fluidity and subtlety. Carrie Ann loves his lines, but he did overexaggerate his movements. Len thinks Aaron flung his arms around too much instead of being graceful and fluid. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 6, and Bruno 7.
So what's up with Tom DeLay? Well, he's backstage, so it doesn't look good. In rehearsals, he was dancing like a robot, but Cheryl got him looking a little better by Saturday. Unfortunately, they had to cut rehearsal short because of the stress fracture in his foot. Tom explains that the producers and his doctors told him to drop out, but he refused. And now, speaking to him live, he has stress fractures in both feet. But he's not dropping out! God, just drop out. I mean, he's not going to win. Then again, what's he going to do? Go home and wait for his court date? So they do their samba and it's a whole play on politics with DeLay wearing a sequined elephant and Cheryl wearing a sequined donkey on her dress. And it's not as horrible as I imagined. I mean, Tom counts out loud, but given his limited rehearsal time and injuries, it could have been worse. Again, it was like your watching a mom and dad at a wedding, and they went out and took a couple of dance classes so they could do this big routine, but neither of them are exactly professional dancers. But they also don't embarrass themselves. Maybe I'm being overly charitable. He does shake his butt a bunch of times and I think we've seen about enough of that.
Carrie Ann says that it's easy to watch Tom, because he's smooth and entertaining, but it could have been more exciting somehow. Len thinks Tom is a hero for dancing through his injuries. Bruno thinks Tom is, in the immortal words of ABBA, a super trooper. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 4, and Bruno 5. They're not in last place, so there's that.
Kelly Osbourne is wigging it up this week with a red bobbed number, but last week, her tango fell apart and she lost her composure. Kelly explains that she hated realizing that her mother and the judges all felt sorry for her. She doesn't want anyone's pity. Louis gives her a little pep talk to get her back into it. Louis advises her to stay in the moment and stop judging herself, even if her confidence got knocked for a loop. Oh, I'm really rooting for her and her little red-headed wig. She and Louis dance to Lady Gaga and she's really got her spunk back. The routine is good. Could maybe have a little more spark, but it's definitely a party.
Len says that Kelly's only problem is confidence, and boosting that will only increase her performance level. Bruno thinks she's back, and she had some beautiful sections in a difficult routine. Carrie Ann thinks Kelly's technique is awesome at times, and she just needs to stay focused and not lose her step when she stumbles. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 6, and Bruno 7. I think that's fair and I can't wait to see what she does week.
So some weird scoring last night, especially after last week when it seemed like everyone got the same scores from the judges, and Len was a bit harsh. I think Tom might go home because people feel like he's going to have to drop out anyway, but I could be wrong. It would be a shame if someone else went home and then he had to drop out, though. Here are the final scores:
Mya and Dmitry: 27
Natalie and Alec: 26
Joanna and Derek: 23
Donny and Kym: 21
Aaron and Karina: 21
Louie and Chelsie: 20
Kelly and Louis: 20
Melissa and Mark: 19
Mark and Lacey: 18
Debi and Maks: 17
Chuck and Anna: 17
Tom and Cheryl: 15
Michael and Anna: 14