Last week, we lost Ashley and Macy, and no one was all that sad. Not even Macy. Maybe Ashley was a little, but he got over it. This week, the dancers have only had four days to prepare instead of the four weeks or so they had for their first routines. And we'll see the results LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
The couples are introduced and come down the stairs to the dance floor. You guys, Aaron Carter is dressed up like a leprechaun. He has on the brightest green tuxedo ever. It's freaking me out. And you can tell Mark and Melissa are doing a jive because they're in '50s wear. Does Mark ever do a jive that's not '50s themed? It's getting a little ridiculous. Once the couples are settled, Samantha introduces the guest judge, who is subbing in for Len: Baz Luhrman. Look, Moulin Rouge is a polarizing movie; either you love it or hate it. And yet, while I don't love it, I can appreciate the creativity and artistry. But I don't want to watch it. That may be more because I dislike Nicole Kidman, though. Tom explains that Baz's mother was a ballroom judge and his first movie was Strictly Ballroom, so it's not like Quentin Tarantino judging Idol.
You know what I love about having so many couples left and all of them dancing on one night? Not a lot of time for bullshit. Let's get right to Derek and Joanna, the first couple to dance tonight. Last week, they had the highest scores (undeserved). This week, they are doing the jive. Derek coaches Joanna in rehearsal to keep things under control while being fast enough. Hey, did you know Joanna was a Juggie on The Man Show? She doesn't talk about it that much.
Time for their jive. At first, I thought Joanne was chewing gum, but my husband decided that she's just not capable of closing her mouth. But it's distracting. Not as distracting as the giant mane of fake horsehair she's got stuck on top of her head. Besides that, the dancing is decent. She keeps the energy and precision up, but Derek has also built in some points where she gets to stand there and pose and catch her breath. Her kicks and flicks are fine, but she needs to work on posture and frame a bit.
Judges? Carrie Ann thinks she had good energy, but she needs to work on her feet and pointing her toes. Bruno likes that she doesn't hold back, but he advises her to keep her kicks and flick precise. Baz thinks they need to connect more during the routine and project that. Also, Tom says that they got Joanna's hair from Bert Lahr's wardrobe. You know, the dude who played the Cowardly Lion on The Wizard of Oz? Good one, Tom. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Baz 7 and Bruno 7 for a total of 20.
Natalie Coughlin and Alex are the second couple to dance. I felt Natalie was underscored last week, so I'm interested to see how she does this week. In rehearsal for their quickstep, Alec discovers that Natalie holds her breath while she's dancing, and it makes her stiffen up. He works with her on where to breathe in the choreography.
Their quickstep is to "I Want You Back" by the Jackson Five, which seems like a really slow song for a quickstep. In fact, the beginning looks more like a waltz than anything. Her footwork is really good, and she does try to take the judges' advice and sex it up a bit. I really just like her and wish the judges would score her higher. It might be a chemistry thing.
Judges? Bruno counsels Natalie to relax and smile a little more, because she holds her tension in her shoulders, but she could be amazing. Baz thinks in the first half, she was in her head, but in the second half, she just listened to the music and it was much better. Carrie Ann loves Natalie, but she needs to flow with her partner more. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Baz 7 and Bruno 7 for a total of 21. Natalie looks relieved.
Chuck Liddell and Anna are the couple to dance. In rehearsal for their tango, Anna and Chuck decide to ignore Len's advice for Chuck to bring out his feminine side, since the tango is so masculine. Also, Anna wants to make it like a fight, which Chuck is familiar with, as a former UFC fighter. It's all very Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Well, the band is massacring (in a bad way) "Seven Nation Army," so there's that. Chuck is decent. He doesn't miss any moves. He's got the aggressiveness of the tango down, but he doesn't really have the requisite grace. It's like he's walking through the dance and making the right facial expressions, but in the arms and legs, things aren't working out.
Judges? Baz isn't sure what to say at first, but compliments Chuck on his ability to face his fear. Carrie Ann admits she was scared, and adds that the dance had impact. Bruno liked that it was savage, but it was always a tango, and Chuck clearly worked hard on it, even if his technique wasn't always perfect. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Baz 7 and Bruno 6 for a total of 19.
Melissa did an elegant waltz last week, but the judges felt her nerves showed. This week, she has to do the jive with Mark, who says that Melissa has a lot of enthusiasm but she's not super-coordinated. So how is their jive? Well, I'll say this for Melissa -- she sells it. She's got the body language and facial expressions down, and she does them just big enough to translate but not so big it's obnoxious. Her tricks seem to go pretty well, but her footwork is not great. Her flicks and kicks are really weak, especially compared to Mark (who might consider toning down a step so as not to show up his partner). They end with a trick where Melissa slides backwards, in a seated position, in between Mark's legs and I don't know how she didn't end up nutting him. Good planning, there.
Carrie Ann admits that she thought Melissa wasn't long for the competition last week, but this week, Carrie Ann thinks Melissa will be around a while. Bruno reminds Melissa to work on her feet as much as she works on everything else. Baz thinks there was big improvement, and he liked the joy and abandon, but she needs to work on the steps. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Baz 6 and Bruno 6 for a total of 19. The audience disagrees, and boos loudly. Did they see her feet? Don't be fooled by the energy, people! She has to do the steps, too!
Last week, Michael Irvin took criticism for both his footwork and for his partner Anna's choreography. She feels like she let him down, too, and they vow to do better on their quickstep. There's a very NFL Films song playing behind their rehearsal, as they work hard and try to put more content in their dance.
Their quickstep begins. Oof. It's not good. It's mostly slow and Michael is dragging his feet, and I think the judges' comments took the pizzazz right out of him. Unfortunately, personality was his strength. His posture is terrible; he's sticking his butt way out. And the worst is his footwork. As a former wide receiver, he should at least have fast feet, even if they aren't precise, and he's dragging. It's not good. I know I said that already, but I was really hoping and expecting more because I thought he was underscored last week.
Bruno thinks they delivered on the "more content" promise, and really doesn't have much bad to say, surprisingly. Baz thinks Michael is a natural performer and charming, but he needs to stop wagging his tongue around. They all laugh. Carrie Ann thought it was a big improvement after last week. Man, was I watching a different routine? I don't get it. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Baz 7 and Bruno 6 for a total of 20. The audience boos. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood or something.
Debi and Maks didn't get great scores last week, but this week, they have the tango. Debi thinks it will work out great, because she and Maks have a very mercurial relationship. In rehearsal, Maks really yells at her, right in her face, and Debi melts down and tells him that he can't talk to her that way. Maks feels bad and apologizes, and hopefully they come to some sort of understanding.
How does all this agita translate to their tango? They kind of recreate the tango from Moulin Rouge, to that version of "Roxanne," which the band totally kills, in a bad way. There are a few stuttery/missed steps. I can tell it was choreographed beautifully (not sure if Maks did it all original or if it was lifted from the movie), but Debi is too much in her head, especially after the first little blip. She kind of goes in and out of character, because she's thinking about what she needs to do with her feet. So it's good, but it could have been great.
Baz likes how they played out the love/hate relationship. Carrie Ann thinks Debi brought her dramatic antics worked well on the dance floor, and her form and posture were beautiful. Bruno wants her to keep being assertive, because it could be even better if she stops getting shaky in between movements. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Baz 7 and Bruno 7 for a total of 21. I didn't think they'd score that high. I don't think Debi did either!
Louie and Chelsie have the jive this week. Louie discusses how he and Chelsie are the youngest couple on the show and hope to bring their energy to the show. Their jive starts out with high energy, with Louie doing a twisting flip over Chelsie's head onto the floor. They're lucky Len's not there, because he would hate it. Louie's footwork looks great in the first half of the dance. About halfway through, he seems less sure of the steps. He doesn't really miss any, but he seems to be thinking about it more. He's got a lot of natural grace and athleticism, though.
Carrie Ann loves the energy and the smile, but he needs to listen to the music more and stay with it more. Bruno thinks Louie can do more than he's doing, because he's trying to get by on being cute and cool. The audience doesn't like Bruno's comments. Baz thought they made a cute couple and had a lot of joy. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Baz 7 and Bruno 6 for a total of 19. The audience yells their disapproval.
Aaron and Karina are up with their quickstep. Aaron got the highest scores of all the men last week, so he needs to keep up the good work. It also freaks me out that he's rehearsing in a button down shirt. How is that comfortable? It's buttoned all the way up to the neck. So then they start fighting, and Karina realizes that she has to remember that he is new to the ballroom.
So before they even start dancing, the spotlight cuts to Animal (you know, the Muppet) up in the balcony, and then they come out and start dancing to the theme from The Muppet Show. I'll say this for Aaron -- he picks his feet up off the floor way better than most of the other celeb men. It gives an energy to his routine that the others are lacking. It's not perfect, by any means, but it does have a cameo from Gonzo at the end. That hardly seems fair to the other contestants.
Judges? Bruno thinks it was spectacular and realized its potential. Baz likes seeing Aaron grow as a performer. Oh, dear. Aaron has a giant throbbing vein in the middle of his forehead and it was FREAKING me out. Carrie Ann thought it was a pleasure to watch, and they had good content in hold. I don't know. I thought it was probably the best male dance so far tonight, but it wasn't all that. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Baz 9 and Bruno 9 for a total of 27. That is some bullshit. It was not that good.
Last week, Kelly said that she wanted to shock her parents in a good way for once, which I found sweet. I mean, if Sharon is out there sobbing every week, it's going to get old, but it was nice for that first week. This week, Kelly and Louis have the tango, and Kelly is really worried about living up to the expectations. Kelly's dancing this week is not as good, so she was right to be worried, but I think it might actually work for her because now people will vote to give her another chance. Anyway, her footwork is off for a lot of the dance, and she has trouble keeping up with the beat. She also lets everything show in her face; she beams when it's working and she grimaces when it's not, instead of staying in the character of the dance. And you can tell she's disappointed in herself at the end. They also could have chosen a more flattering costume.
Baz compliments Kelly on the ways she's discovering herself through dance, and while she knows she made mistakes, he loves that she's a fighter. Carrie Ann thinks Kelly is building a base of technique, but she needs to learn to stay in character even when she makes mistakes. Bruno knows Kelly can do it, but they all know she made a lot of mistakes. The judges are really very encouraging. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Baz 7 and Bruno 6 for a total of 19. Wow. I love Kelly. She might be my favorite this season, but she did not deserve those scores.
There are couples that I completely forgot about, and one of them is Kathy Ireland and Tony. Anyway, Kathy came really close to going home last week, and this week they have the quickstep. Tony thinks that Kathy needs to let go and show people what she can do. Good thing she has ballroom and not Latin this week, though. Their quickstep is very The King and I, set to "Shall We Dance?" They are kind of just acting out the lyrics of the song, like when it says "arms around each other," they put their arms around each other. That's lame. It's also really slow for a quickstep.
Carrie Ann liked the presentation better, but she thinks Kathy is still too reserved. Bruno thinks Kathy is beautiful but not engaging, and he advises Tony to pull Kathy in and get her to express herself. Baz agrees with what was said, and adds that they didn't put enough excitement into the quickstep. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Baz 6 and Bruno 6 for a total of 18.
This week, Mark and Lacey have the quickstep, and Mark feels really overwhelmed in rehearsals trying to learn all the steps. Man, these roll-in packages are getting shorter and shorter as the show goes on. So how's their routine? Mark slips a little in the very beginning and lets it show on his face, but after that, things go swimmingly. His footwork is great, and his facial expressions are awesome.
Bruno thinks Mark is a good dancer and a great performer, and he just needs to get his feet under control. Baz thought he came back well after nearly falling early on, and could be a great ballroom dance. Carrie Ann thinks Mark has tight and clean movements, and recovered well, but he needs to breathe and relax more. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Baz 7 and Bruno 7 for a total of 21. Man, everyone (but Aaron) is getting the same scores tonight. Boring.
I forget how these first few weeks are like a marathon getting through all the couples. up are Mya and Dmitry. Last week, Len penalized them for not having enough waltz in their waltz, but this week they have the jive. Dmitry wants to make everything technically perfect. Did he succeed? Well, first of all, I'm really distracted by Dmitry's costume. He's going for the Mark/nerdy thing, but his pants are like five inches shorter than floods, so they kind of look like knickers. Anyway, the routine itself is great, although a little slow for a jive, and kind of untraditional. But it's executed well, and that's what matters, right?
Baz thought it was "the real deal" because they not only had speed and accuracy, but they also made the dance their own. Carrie Ann knows Len wouldn't have liked the beginning, but she thought it was great, and she loved how Mya disappeared into the performance. Bruno thinks Mya was original and inventive, and she's a great performer. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Baz 9 and Bruno 9 for a total of 27. I don't know that was deserved either, but their dance was at least as good as Aaron's, if not better.
Well, I've had my DVR on pause for like fifteen minutes if that gives you any indication on how much I don't want to watch these last two dances, but I also want to go to bed, so that's winning out. up is Tom DeLay and Cheryl. I don't know that I really communicated how gross it was to watch him shake his bum on the dance floor. This week, they have the tango, and Tom has a hard time doing the head snaps. And he got hurt, and then he got a pre-stress fracture, which sounds like a made-up condition. Don't we all have pre-stress fractures, really?
Tom is totally dancing on his heels instead of the balls of his feet, and he definitely doesn't sell it with his facial expressions. He stays on the beat, though, and he's fairly light on his feet, so I have to give him some credit. I actually think he's better than Chuck Liddell, at least until the end when he almost drops Cheryl on the floor while doing a dip. The audience gasps and Tom looks pained.
Carrie Ann thinks they are an "oddly well-matched couple" and she advises him to squeeze his ass cheeks together. And then Tom says that hasn't historically been his problem. So he's saying DeLay is a tight ass? Tom Bergeron! Bruno thinks it was elegant, and Baz loved the holds and thinks it was graceful. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Baz 6 and Bruno 6 for a total of 18.
Whew! The last couple is Donny and Kym. In rehearsals, Kym points out that Donny is old. Donny has a hard time with how physical the routine is, and Kym convinces him that he looks younger when he does it correctly. Appeal to his vanity, Kym! That will work. And you know what? It kind of does. Donny comes out like he's been shot out of a cannon and bounces around the dance floor like someone half his age. His footwork is a little wild and out of control, but he sells the story of the routine really well, and he looks like he's having a blast. I would have liked a little more time in hold, but overall, I think this '60s-themed routine will really appeal to his potential fan base, which is smart. Plus, he's wearing a purple suit. You know, like he used to wear the purple socks? Anyone but me old enough to remember that?
Bruno tells Donny that it was well-pitched and well-executed. Baz thought the dance was accurate, and loved how Donny was full of life and in the moment. Carrie Ann thought it was an amazing performance, but she encourages him to keep up the energy and youthfulness, because it's working. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Baz 9 and Bruno 8 for a total of 25. That's about right.
So who's going home? Everyone is so bunched up that it really could be anyone, but I doubt that Kathy has the fan base to keep her there and she hasn't shown much personality. She should have really laid on the sob story or the family angle or something in her clip package. So I'm going to guess that Kathy will go. Here are the scores:
Aaron and Karina: 27
Mya and Dmitry: 27
Donny and Kym: 25
Natalie and Alec: 21
Debi and Maks: 21
Mark and Lacey: 21
Joanna and Derek: 20
Michael and Anna: 20
Louis and Chelsie: 19
Chuck and Anna: 19
Melissa and Mark: 19
Kelly and Louis: 19
Kathy and Tony: 18
Tom and Cheryl: 18
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see who vloggers Val and Beth think should be on the show in TV is the Answer!