Does it make any sense to anyone else that tonight, when there are six dances to perform, the show is an hour long, and tomorrow night, when there are only three plus the announcement, the show is two hours long? I get the whole Bachelor premiere and stuff, but just philosophically, does that bug anyone else? Then again, I hear that all of this season's contestants are actually going to dance tomorrow night. It's sort of like the stupid Dance-Off idea -- hey, you know those people that I voted off the show? I'd really love to see them all dance again. Boo.
Tom explains that the couples have been dancing for ten weeks, but most of them were eliminated one-by-one, including Ty last week. And now, the three best dancers are left. Well. That's a matter of opinion. I happen to think it's true, but I think a case could be made for Lil Kim over one of the others. I'll leave it to you to decide which one. Tonight, the three remaining couples will dance side-by-side in a paso doble faceoff. Perhaps it will involve John Travolta and Nicholas Cage? That would be pretty awesome, actually. And then, Tom says that the most anticipated dance of the season is the freestyle. I tend to be pretty underwhelmed by the freestyle. I can't remember the last one I really loved, or loved more than any other dance the couple did that season. I don't think I ever have. Even the Cheryl/Drew cowboy one -- not my favorite. But whatever happens, it will be LIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
The three couples come down the stairs in their paso doble costumes. I'm pretty sure Melissa is wearing almost the same one that Mel wore when she danced with Maks. It's the same style anyway -- the long coat over a bikini top and bottom. Tom reminds us that while Gilles and Cheryl are far and away ahead in total points, everyone starts back at zero tonight. The couples will do the paso doble and the freestyle tonight, the judges will score them, and the home viewers will vote. Then they will do one more dance tomorrow night for the judges scores, it all gets added together, and a champion is declared. I wonder if the dance tomorrow night even makes a difference. You know at this point that everyone is going to get nines and tens unless they really, really screw up.
As the couples were practicing their paso dobles, they each got a visit from a different judge. Len rides in the back of a limo and places a (fake) phone call to the other two. Bruno is poolside, in his Speedo, working on his tan. Thankgodfully, he has one leg up so you can't see his business. No one needs to see that. I have to thank the PA who made that executive decision. Carrie Ann is eating lunch alone -- a giant salad and a glass of wine. She looks really good, actually. Anyway, Len dispatches Len to go see Shawn and Carrie Ann to go see Melissa while he goes to see Gilles. I'm sure there will be various conspiracy theories hatched about which judge went to see which couple; I feel that this is all a setup for the cameras and at this point, if someone doesn't know how to dance, they wouldn't be in the finals. I don't know how much constructive criticism the judges can dispatch in a short visit, anyway. But we shall see.
Bruno visits Shawn first. I actually find this segment interesting, and you know how I usually hate filler. I'm interested to see the judges who are not Len in action on the dance floor. We hear their criticism every week, but we don't get to see their dancing chops, or lack thereof. So Bruno tells Shawn that her paso is fresh in people's minds, and she needs to do something surprising on the floor to overcome her competition. He demonstrates the type of drama and extension she needs, and his form is really good! Shawn promises Bruno that she'll kill it.
, Carrie Ann goes to see Melissa. She gets right into it and tells Melissa that she needs to travel the floor with intention and aggression instead of just sort of floating gracefully from one move to the . Carrie Ann comments that Melissa tends to fall back on her ballet and cheerleading training, which isn't always useful. Carrie Ann stands in front of Melissa and makes her walk into her to demonstrate how Melissa needs to project that "move out of my way" attitude. Melissa totally knocks her too. Carrie Ann goes in for the high five and Melissa totally leaves her hanging. Oops. I wonder if that's a point deduction.
Finally, Len goes to see Gilles, reminding him that the other two judges gave Gilles a 10 on his paso, and Len was the sole 9. So no pressure there. Len reminds them that he thought their paso was a bit hectic, although we don't see him give any specifics about how to make it less so. I guess that's Cheryl's job. Len makes Gilles mirror him as they practice, and Len is all up in Gilles's face grunting, "Yes, please. Give it to me, sunshine!" I wish I were making that up. Please let that clip be on The Soup this week. Len points out the obvious -- that people will have very high expectations of Gilles, and it will be tough to overcome them. Len bids them goodbye, noting that he's sweating, and he never thought that would happen again in a dance studio.
After the judges' visits, all three couples head to the group rehearsal. Melissa explains that this routine will differ from the other group dances because while they'll be dancing together, and they want the dance to look good overall, they'll also each have a solo and they'll really be judged on that. As each couple rehearses, the other two stare daggers at them, analyzing every move. Wasn't there a couple last season that refused to actually rehearse their solo so as not to give anything away? If only there were a site with recaps of each episode... oh, yeah. So it was Lance and Lacey. I can't believe they were even in the finals. Anyway.
The paso doble begins to "So What" by Pink. Interesting choice. And by interesting, I mean weird. I would expect a more aggressive song for this one. Anyway, the group segment is very short and then Shawn and Mark take the floor for their solo. It's okay. I think Shawn is at a disadvantage here in that aggressive, serious dances are her weak point and Gilles's strength. Man, now I'm hatching the conspiracy theories. Anyway, I see a few stumbles with the footwork and I'm not crazy about the choreography, although I acknowledge that it must be really tough to do a true paso doble but also make it different enough from the others that it really stands out. Melissa and Tony do their solo . Melissa's costume enhances the drama because her long coat is black with a red lining, so every time she does a high kick (which is often), her coat swirls out dramatically. It helps, because I'm still not getting the intensity from her posture that Carrie Ann was talking about. Some of the transitions in and out of stunts seem a bit stiff. Finally, Gilles and Cheryl come out for their solo. It is the best of the three. Gilles's movements are so sharp and so on target, and you can't beat his intensity. I like the choreography best too; it's dramatic without being showy. It's tough to build the story of a paso in only a few minutes, and I don't think any of them did that successfully. All three couples finish the routine together, and it's very impressive. I do think this is the best final the show has ever had. No doubt. They get a well-deserved standing ovation and take a bow together.
Tom calls them all over the judges' scores. Len starts by pointing out that it's difficult to do a traditional paso to contemporary music, but they did well. He tells Shawn that her routine was much more exciting than her paso. To Melissa, he says that her routine was "riddled with problems" just like her last one, and she nods nervously. Man, I totally missed all the problems. Hey, producers -- here's an idea for free for season. Either on the show or even on the website, have Len and/or the other judges go through some of the routines with a telestrator and point out the problems. A bad arm movement here, a missed heel lead there. I would find that fascinating. Len concludes by telling Gilles that his routine wasn't hectic this time.
up is Bruno, who compliments them on working so well together when they are competing against one another. He tells Shawn that she was strong with great technique, and she turned into a serial killer like Dexter. I'm sure ABC will be sending Bruno a note to make sure he uses a Disney-owned show for his analogy; Showtime is owned by CBS. Bruno tells Melissa that she looked beautiful and acted like a drama queen. He didn't say anything about her dancing, though. He concludes by telling Gilles that he is a leading man. So no real critique or even comment on the actual dancing, other than telling Shawn that she had good technique.
Carrie Ann goes last and starts by telling them that this has been her favorite season, because they're all incredible dancers. She segues by saying that seeing them dance side-by-side showed some strengths and weaknesses, though. Shawn is (according to Carrie Ann) perfect in her movements, but doesn't show as much of an emotional connection with the dance, probably due to her age. Carrie Ann adds that she has called Melissa out on her lack of soul, but it was there tonight. And she thought Gilles was perfection, as usual. I know it's no fun to root for someone like Gilles, who always does well, but the thing is -- he always does really well. You've got to give the guy props, even if it's more fun to root for the underdog.
And it's time for the scores. First up are Shawn and Mark, who get the following scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 10. Samantha asks if they're putting a bunch of gymnastic tricks into their freestyle, and Shawn says that they tried to tone it down because she wanted to show off how much dancing she's learned. Good strategy. After a break, it's time for the other two sets of scores, and Melissa and Tony are up first: Carrie Ann 10, Len 9, and Bruno 10. Melissa and Tony are positively giddy and Samantha says that Melissa was really worried during the commercial break. Melissa can't wait to do her freestyle, and is grooving on all the energy and adrenaline in the room. Samantha quickly dispatches them and gets Gilles and Cheryl to come up, but not before Gilles shares a hug with Tony. I'm surprised the show hasn't played up their bromance. I guess it's been done. Gilles and Cheryl's scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 10, and Bruno 10. Samantha asks if that makes him more confident going into the freestyle and Gilles says that nothing could make him feel confident. And I feel like he's not just saying that; he really does seem humble. I'm sorry. This is turning into less of a recap and more me drooling all over Gilles, and not even about his body but about his dancing and attitude. How embarrassing.
Anyway, it's time for the freestyles, and Shawn and Mark are up first. I really hate Shawn's clip packages because, more than anyone, she sounds like she's reading off a teleprompter. I get that these interviews are semi-scripted, or at least that the celebs get the chance to phrase their answer a few different ways, but hers just sound like when my students get in front of the class for a presentation and just read off their PowerPoint slides (automatic deduction!). Anyway, she explains that she's looking forward to a routine with no rules. Shawn and Mark practice and work out some moves together, and then Apolo Ohno shows up in their rehearsal studio! I miss him. He was a cute little guy. Then Apolo says Olympics like a million times and I'm kind of over it because we get it, dude. You were both Olympians. Before they go to break, we get a quick shot of Shawn and Mark ready for their routine, and they're wearing black garbage bags with white diamond masks. They're freaking me out, a lot. I get that it's an homage to JabbaWockeeZ, but still.
So their routine finally starts and thankfully, they ditch the coveralls and masks early on. Shawn struggles a little to get out of hers, but manages in time. The rest of the routine is wonderful -- high energy but not overly hip hop. I find that on this show, when people try to do hip hop routines, they end up too stiff and derivative. This one is almost like a jive in terms of energy and style, with a few stunts thrown in, but nothing too crazy. Some of the moves, I seriously am not sure how they are physically possible. I'm annoyed by Mark's continued penchant for highwater pants and white socks, but whatever. Shawn didn't miss a beat. It's not the greatest freestyle I've ever seen, but it's very good. One styling note: Shawn should not ever wear high-waisted pants. As a fellow short girl with a short waist, I'd love her to learn that lesson now, because it took me until about 1994 to figure that one out, and there were a lot of paper bag waists and tight-rolled jeans in between.
Judges? Bruno yells out that Shawn is going for gold, and he couldn't believe that they stayed in sync despite the difficulty and intricacy of their tricks. Carrie Ann compliments her on being youthful, energetic, and precise. Len says that he loved the jive elements, and the precision, and he just loved it. Mark dramatically falls the floor in mock-shock, and then Shawn and Mark have to hug all of the judges as the audience continues to go nuts. Tom tries to fill in but realizes no one is listening and just throws it to Samantha. Backstage, Samantha asks Shawn to tell everyone why she wants to win so much. Shawn says that this is her new gold medal, and she had to overcome a lot of fears. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 10, and Bruno 10. Bruno actually yells out 11.
Tom reminds us that Melissa stepped into the show with only two days notice, and has been quite successful. Except for last week when she ended up in third place. Melissa tells us she's not too worried because the audience can determine who stays or leaves. Tony reminds everyone that he was in the season two finals with Stacy Keibler and the judges were disappointed in his disco freestyle. I was disappointed with that whole season; I thought Stacy was much more talented than Tony's choreography showed. It was a simpler time though; I don't know how she would do on this season. Anyway, the lesson that Tony learned is that he needs to take some risks, and on this show, that means stunts. They practice a bunch of tricks that involve Melissa flying around in the air. I hope her ribs are okay! They kind of haven't mentioned that injury since she had to sit out a week, although rumor has it that she had a bad reaction to some medication more than that she was in pain from her injury. Speaking of injuries, Melissa accidentally clocks Tony in the eyeball and gives him quite a shiner. Yeesh.
So the routine itself is very '90s dance music inspired. And I don't hate that idea; as someone who spent a lot of time in dance clubs and watching music videos in the early '90s, I could have been a big fan of this routine. Even with Tony's terrible Right Said Fred see-through T-shirt. The problem is that it's a mish mash of styles, with the Running Man right to a turn from the jive, right to the Robot. Tony should have watched some Janet Jackson or Paula Abdul or Bobby Brown videos, or even done what I've been known to do from time to time and watch Dance Party USA videos on YouTube. Not to mention that it just feels messy, and they're out of sync at times. I will say that the energy level is good, but neither of them looks like they're truly having fun with it.
Carrie Ann tells Melissa that she loves her positive attitude and energy this week, but the choreography felt disjointed. Shouldn't she be telling Tony that? Len thinks Melissa has true versatility, but wishes that she had done a routine that showed off her elegance a bit more. He adds that the routine wasn't his cup of tea. Bruno makes a running man joke and then says that he agrees with Carrie Ann that it was disjointed, and not as perfect as he'd expect a final dance to be. I feel bad for Melissa; all of the judges' complaints were about the choreography, which is not her fault. Backstage, Samantha asks Melissa why the voters should vote for her. Melissa has clearly spent too much time on The Bachelor because she talks about the journey a lot. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9.
Gilles and Cheryl are the final couple to dance. Last week, Gilles and Cheryl got two perfect scores, so he's got a lot to live up to this week. Cheryl explains that her strategy in a finale (with Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith) has always been to show off her partner's personality. Apparently, Gilles' personality is uplifting because all we see them rehearse are tricks where Gilles lifts Cheryl up to his shoulder. And the problem is that he's been battling a shoulder injury all season, so he gets a doctor to come in and help him battle through the pain. And then Cheryl spends twenty minutes trying to get Gilles to smile. No smiling! I want smoldering.
Oh, dear. Gilles is wearing a strategically ripped T-shirt. It's bad times. They're dancing to "What A Feeling (Flashdance)" which makes me think of my mom, because she thought the chorus said, "Take your pants down and make it happen" and started questioning why I was listening to such a song as a middle-schooler. But it was part of that awesome genre of songs that we all loved in middle school, where they started out slow and then got fast. See also: "Dim All the Lights" by Donna Summer. They were great for making up dance routines, even then. And also, did you guys notice the acoustic version of this song on Grey's? What was up with that? It totally took me out of the scene. So anyway, I'm avoiding talking about the routine. As with Tony, this had the potential to be nostalgic fun, with some serious '80s moves. It's cute, and they look like they're having fun, but there's just not much dancing going on. It's a lot of purposeful walking around the floor with some lifts thrown in. I did like the bit where they pointed at the judges, an homage to the movie. But when you look at how much actual dancing Shawn did, this is nothing like that. It was better than Melissa and Tony's but barely.
Len says that he thought it was fun and high energy, and he especially liked the slow bit at the beginning. He thinks it's proved that Gilles is a real dancer. Bruno says that it was a great performance, but based on what he knows Gilles can do, he was hoping for a little more actual dancing. Carrie Ann points out that "Flashdance" is about the female dancer, so she thought it was an odd choice for Gilles. The audience boos loudly, so Carrie Ann has to yell out the Gilles is amazing. Backstage, Gilles says that he's honored that he got the chance to be on the show. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 10, and Bruno 9.
And that's the penultimate show of the season! See you tomorrow night for filler, filler, dancing and some results. Final scores:
Shawn and Mark: 28 + 30 = 58
Gilles and Cheryl: 30 + 28 = 58
Melissa and Tony: 29 + 27 = 56