Tom claims that they've never had a cast like this. Is that a good thing? But tomorrow night, there will be a double elimination, and based on the rehearsal footage montage they just showed (which featured just about everyone falling down in painful ways), it could be anyone. And it's all happening LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
Samantha and Tom welcome us to the show. I think a bitter tech turned Samantha's mike down because you can barely hear her. Note that I am not complaining. The stars and their partners enter down the stairways. I always like this first opportunity to check out the clothing choices. I'm kind of concerned about Chuck and Julianne's soda jerk outfits, not to mention Mark and Shawn's sweatsuits. I would be a million dollars that they will rip them off to reveal other costumes beneath them. I kind of hate creative costumes. I feel like your dancing should be good enough that you don't need that to make an impression. Plus, I don't trust Mark not to be a total cheeseball, because he is Corky's son.
There are two new dances tonight, the Argentine tango and the Lindy Hop. I keep wanting to type the Lindsay Hop, but that involves Samantha Ronson, so let's not go there. Len explains the difference between the Argentine tango and the tango we've seen in other seasons; in the Argentine tango allows more flexibility in hold instead of having to stay with the same hold the whole routine. The Lindy Hop is like the jitterbug, and it involves kicks, lifts, and throws. Carrie Ann makes sure to clarify that she's okay with the lifts, so they must have gotten a dispensation.
DAG and Kym are opening up the show. DAG is coming off a stronger routine last week with his foxtrot, but this week they have the Lindy Hop. Kym explains that it's all about charisma and energy, and should be cartoonish. During rehearsal, DAG struggles with the lifts, so he asks Kym to show him better examples. They go to a club and watch other dancers perform the routines, and it inspires DAG to sing a little song. So their routine begins to the American Bandstand theme song. I am exhausted just watching them. I mean, they barely stop bouncing and kicking to do the tricks. They definitely keep up the energy and they don't screw up any of the lifts or throws, but DAG needs to learn to point his toes and watch his foot placement on his kicks, because it is ragged. Also, it doesn't seem to flow; it's like they do a trick and then a segment of kicks and hops, and then pause, and then another trick. It's not smooth.
Len thought it was fun and energetic, but they lost rhythm at times. Bruno liked to see DAG's energy, but thought he lost the timing on his footwork sometimes. Carrie Ann points out that they kicked up the energy near the end, which is tough to do with such an exhausting routine. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, and Bruno 7. They're very happy with those scores. DAG sings his pleasure with the judges and Samantha says that the Broadway version of that is coming soon to the theater near you. The Broadway version? In a theater? Holy mixed metaphors.
Lil Kim and Derek are up . Last week, Len told Kim that she had a "bionic booty," and Derek wants to capitalize on their upward score momentum. Derek explains in rehearsals that the tango is very serious, and there's no smiling. Kim has a hard time with it because they usually joke around a lot in rehearsals, but she tries to stay in character while remembering the footwork. Derek isn't that familiar with the dance either, so they learn it together, and Kim hopes it all works out. Kim looks really beautiful as they start their routine. I think she's lost weight because her waist is tiny. Their routine is seriously a thing of beauty. The shapes that they make with the bodies, the flicks and kicks of their feet, and the well-timed lifts all combine to make a routine that is a joy to watch. More than once I said, "Wow!" out loud. The audience clearly agrees, as they give a standing ovation.
Bruno thought it was "a tale about fatal beauty, enticing strangers, and the promise of forbidden pleasures." Tom cracks that Bruno is starting to look like "a really tan Bela Lugosi." Bruno is strangely tan this week. Carrie Ann loves how much Kim has improved, especially her lines. Len loved the choreography, but not the sensuality. The audience boos, and Bruno and Carrie Ann disagree with him. Bruno says that the fire department was parked outside it was so hot. Backstage, Kim says that she smiles a lot but she had to rein it in for her dance, and it was her favorite routine so far. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8, and Bruno 10. The audience erupts for the first 10 of the season. I think that score was deserved. That was the best routine I've seen so far this season, and a lot of it was due to Derek's choreography.
Hey, did you know Chuck and Julianne are a real-life couple? I don't know if that's been mentioned. Last week, Chuck finally earned a little praise, but now they have to do the Lindy Hop, and you know Julianne will be running around the floor like a maniac. The problem in rehearsals is that Chuck has a huge fear of landing on his head. He seriously won't shut up about landing on his head. Julianne changes up the choreography to accommodate him. I wonder if she would have done that for anyone else. Chuck looks like a big dork as they practice, and not in a good way. As previously mentioned, they are dressed like '50s soda jerks for their routine. Chuck does a lot of dancing for this one; I don't know if it's dancing, but it's definitely athletic and they take advantage of Chuck's height to do a lot of tricks. At one point he throws Julianne so high that I thought she was going to end up in the third row. A lot of the choreography seems recycled from Julianne's jitterbug routine last season, though, with more lifts and throws put into it. I don't know if the judges care about that or not, but there were a few sections that looked awfully familiar.
Carrie Ann thought Chuck was good this week and had fun, and she wants to see Chuck go for it a little more and stop being so restrained. Len thought it was competent, but that will only get him so far. Bruno tries to make a pizza metaphor but no one knows what he's talking about. He reiterates that Chuck needs to focus more on the details that will put him over the top, and make his movements crisper and sharper. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, and Bruno 7. Backstage, Chuck wonders if a fear of falling on your head is so irrational.
Last week, Lawrence ended up in the middle of the pack, despite feeling like he put together a great routine. This week, he and Edyta are rehearsing the Argentine tango. LT argues about wanting to learn the steps before he can get into the character, but Edyta wants him to do both at the same time. She's really brave to go up against such a huge guy. Edyta brings in her husband Alec to show him how the moves should be done and how to perform instead of just follow the steps. So did it pay off? Well, it's a mixed bag. First of all, their song is terrible. It's just loud, LOUD accordion and I can't hear any of the other instruments. I don't know if that was on purpose or a sound glitch, but I found it really distracting. And the rest of the dance is smooth, but it seems like a lot of LT standing there while Edyta does five minutes of footwork on her own, which is kind of boring. There are some dramatic lifts towards the end, and they are well done, but I wish there had been more of that at the opening. I think their routine is suffering from coming so soon after Derek and Kim's.
Judges? Len thought LT did a good job acting the part, but it lacked passion and he looked uncomfortable. Bruno disagrees, because he thought LT was menacing and dangerous. Len argues that LT was just walking around. Bruno and Len get carried away but finally Carrie Ann gets to talk. She says that LT did a good job with the routine, but he seemed a little afraid of Edyta's sensuality. Tom cracks, "Wouldn't you be?" Every time Tom talks, I get distracted by the woman sitting behind him who has Kim Basinger's hairstyle from 9 ½ Weeks. It's all '80s and mousse and hairspray. That is some big hair, people. Backstage, Samantha is still talking about how she's sick and losing her voice, as if anyone would complain. Bring back Drew Lachey! Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 5, and Bruno 7. Wow. Len really hated it. Tom calls him, "Little Lenny Hardbutt." Tom's kind of on fire tonight.
Ty (who is quickly becoming a favorite of the forum posters) and Chelsie are up . Except they screw up and start Woz's clip package at first, but quickly switch to Ty's. Chelsie apologizes for tripping over her dress during their routine last week. (Love that his solution was to get her a shorter dress. - Angel) This week, they have the Lindy Hop, which is fast and Ty needs to learn to stay on the beat by himself. Chelsie is psyched that Ty is so strong from his day job of bull riding, because she plans a lot of tricks. That's great as long as he doesn't kill his partner, and he drops her a lot during rehearsal. So how's their routine? Well, Chelsie was brilliant to put a lot of tricks in there, because they are impressive but she also doesn't need to worry about him keeping the beat or doing footwork. During the sections where he's supposed to be in hold, it's fairly obvious that he has zero sense of rhythm. But man, does he throw her really high in the air. And he's also full of energy; unlike DAG, he doesn't lose intensity in the middle of the routine.
Bruno was impressed with Ty's strength, but he's a bit rough around the edges. Carrie Ann thinks Ty is a DANCER and can't believe the improvement. Len says that Ty has gone far beyond his expectations, and has come so far since Len gave him a four in the first week. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8, and Bruno 8. Ty promises that others might outdance him but they won't outwork him, and he feels like he's getting the hang of it.
Last week, Woz got horrible judge scores and still stayed out of the bottom two. I don't get it. Look, I understand a little bit the whole Vote for the Worst mentality, just to eff with the show. But Woz has positioned this as a "Let's stick it to the pretty people" thing for his nerd followers. Have they seen his partner? I think she qualifies as one of the pretty people. And Gilles, for example, may be "one of the pretty people," but both on the show and in interviews, he comes off as one of the nicest, most sincere people they've ever had. So it makes sense to boost Woz over him? Ty is the same way, and he's not nearly as pretty as Gilles. And I don't kid myself that this is a dancing competition; it's a popularity contest. But I watch the show to see people in silly costumes do dance routines, not to see chubby guys with an inflated sense of self-importance wiggle around like my drunkle at a wedding. I admire Woz's accomplishments, but I don't get why he needs to add, "Used my nerd army to upset the natural order of a ridiculous dancing reality show" to the list. That's all. So this week, they are doing the Argentine tango. Karina tries to get Woz to affect an angry face, and works on some difficult steps with him. Woz claims that the judges hate him and the fans love him. The judges don't hate you, dude. They are judging your dancing, which is horrific. That's their job. Don't make it personal. Then there's a stupid segment involving his Segway and I'm just so over this. Blech.
So how's their actual dance, as if it matters towards his ability to stay for another week? God bless Karina, as she's practically naked to try to draw attention away from Woz's horrible posture and lack of footwork. They do some fairly complicated tricks and lifts, so I'll begrudgingly give them points for that part. But the whole routine sucks. Again, not that it matters.
Carrie Ann knows that Woz is "the ultimate underdog," but there wasn't much going on in their routine and there was no passion. Len is pleased that they tried a proper tango, and he admires his spirit and improvement over last week. Bruno thought it really stunk and then Woz totally rips on Bruno for his role in Elton John's "I'm Still Standing" video. I don't know if anyone will pick up on that other than big fans -- I bet they'll think Woz was just showing pluck. But it was actually a rip. Woz claims that he nailed his angry face. I don't know if he understands what passion is. Do you think he has sex? I don't think he has sex. He might be asexual. I find that comforting. Scores: Carrie Ann 4, Len 4, and Bruno 4. Well, it's higher than last week.
Melissa and Tony were criticized for having something missing last week. In rehearsal, they have a great time. I've never seen Tony laugh so much, ever. He must be so happy to finally have a decent partner. At one point, they are practicing a flip where Melissa dives onto Tony's back face-down, and then flips over and comes back up through his legs. She cuts it a bit short and ends up with her face in his balls, like he's totally teabagging her. This is the family hour! Filthy! Also, probably sweaty. I'm just saying. You know you were thinking it. They work on some more tricks, some of which are working and some of which are not. Melissa hopes that they can stay on top with this routine. So can they? Well, their routine is great. Melissa has great rhythm and the tricks go really smoothly. The one thing that bugs me throughout is that she doesn't flick her foot on her kicks. They worked on it in rehearsal; Tony put a piece of toilet paper on her shoe and told her to flick her foot like she was trying to get it off. And then in the routine, she doesn't do it. And not just in one part -- throughout the whole routine. Once you notice it, it's really annoying. I wonder if any of the judges will mention it. Other than that, the routine is kind of flawless. Maybe some of the tricks could be more smoothly, but for an amateur, it's great.
Len thinks Melissa has the potential to go all the way, and points out that their last lift could have been smoother. Bruno thought it was "bursting with excitement" and she showed the full range of steps. Carrie Ann gives Melissa and Tony both a high five, and says that was Tony's best choreography ever. So no one but me noticed the lack of flicking on the kicks? Tony gooses Tom before they go backstage. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 9, and Bruno 10. Wow. Guess I'm wrong on the flicking the foot thing. I still think Kim and Derek's routine was better, though. (Me too. -- AC)
Holly survived the dance-off last week, and has the Argentine tango this week. Do you think that Holly wears the same pink shorts in rehearsal every day, or do you think she has multiple pair of the same shorts? Turns out that Holly injured her ribs during last week's routine, and she keeps having to stop rehearsing due to the pain. There's a long sniffle session in the bathroom and then she goes to the doctor and learns she strained the muscle around her ribs. Practicing won't permanently damage anything. And then she's suddenly fine. Vicodin? Percocet? Anyway, the routine isn't horrible, but Holly does a lot of standing around and then in the middle she clearly totally forgets a section where she's supposed to be doing footwork. The music is really weird too. It's very '70s educational film.
Bruno says they got off to a bad start and then it got worse, and he knows she lost her confidence. He points out that Dmitry was doing all the work, and she needs to "drop the Barbie and bring out the vixen." Carrie Ann gives Holly credit for pushing through her pain, but it wasn't strong enough. Len compliments Dmitry's routine, especially one complicated trick. He thinks Holly focused on her opening mistake throughout and it ruined the rest of the routine. Holly's annoying machine gun giggle is totally back. Ugh. Hate that. Scores: Carrie Ann 5, Len 6, and Bruno 5. Backstage, Holly feels awful because Dmitry made such a great routine and she screwed it up. She shows off a particularly bad bruise as well.
Steve-O and Lacey are finally relatively healthy and ready to do an actual routine, since we haven't seen that from Steve-O since the first week. During rehearsals, Steve-O feels overloaded because the Lindy Hop is so chaotic and there are so many different steps. Lacey brings out a clown outfit for him, since that's his background. He actually looks really cute as a clown. Lacey has him do the routine dressed as a clown and it frees him up to do the big movements required. So does it work when he has to do the routine for the judges with no clown uniform? Well. Um. It's not very good. But I can't tell how much is Steve-O's lack of skill and how much is Lacey's choreography. It feels mostly like they do an eight count of kicks and then Lacey runs to another part of the floor and then Steve-O follows her, then another eight-count, then running. There's not a lot of actual dancing. Not to mention that the tempo is crazy slow for a Lindy Hop, relative to the others we've seen tonight. I would rate them above Woz and Holly, but barely. And maybe not above Holly.
Carrie Ann is sad that Steve-O has had such a rough road with the injuries. She's glad he got through the routine, but he's still following Lacey instead of leading. Len is also glad he got through the routine, but he needs to work on staying on the beat. Bruno encourages him to listen to the music and not to overthink it so much. Carrie Ann also pointed out that Steve-O is developmentally three weeks behind everyone because of his injuries, so his skill level now is where everyone else was in week two. Scores: Carrie Ann 5, Len 5, and Bruno 5. Steve-O jokes, "That's the same as last week. What are they thinking?"
Last week, everyone enjoyed seeing Gilles shake his ass, and he and Cheryl got great scores. This week, they have the Argentine tango, and Gilles struggles because he puts so much pressure on himself. Cheryl encourages him to use his acting skills and get into the character and the romance and the sexiness. And wow, if their routine has any of the intensity of their rehearsals, this could be great. Let's see. And...wow. Gilles does a fantastic job taking gliding steps instead of just walking across the floor. Cheryl put in some extremely complicated locking footwork in the middle that they made seem effortless, and their movements are so sharp and clean. It's really amazing. They get an immediate standing ovation that goes on for quite some time. This is why I wish there was a top two dance-off instead of a bottom two -- I'd love to see this routine stacked up against Derek and Kim's routine. Len loves how they captured the opposing dynamics of hard and soft, quick and slow, and says they were the first to do so properly. Bruno thought Gilles was "the quintessential Latin lover" and had "deadly animal magnetism and ferocious intensity." Carrie Ann is blushing and fanning herself. She says she couldn't tell who was the professional and who was the celebrity, which is totally true. Backstage, Gilles says that it's easy to fall in love with Cheryl when he dances, and quickly clarifies that he means that in a dance way, since his wife is in the audience and all. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 10, and Bruno 10. The season's first perfect score, and it was totally deserved. I couldn't see any flaws, and obviously the judges didn't either. And you know what I just realized? They didn't really do any fancy tricks or lifts, and they were still perfect. Gilles says that Cheryl deserves all of the credit for their scores.
Last week, Shawn and Mark were tied for first, and this week they have the Lindy Hop. Mark is thrilled that Shawn can add her tricks and flips to the routine. They head to the gym so Shawn can show off her skills on the beam and the floor. When they finally hit the dance floor in rehearsal, Shawn is happy to be more in her comfort zone with this routine. Well, they've set my expectations high. The whole conceit of their routine is that Mark is a nerd in short shorts, eyeglasses, and knee-high gym socks. I guess. I don't really get it, and I'm a little tired of Mark's nerd character since he busts that out every season and it's not nearly as funny as he thinks it is. Shawn opens the routine by doing a tumbling pass and then they dance around. There are lots of flips, lifts, and tricks, but it's lacking something for me, and I can't pinpoint it. Grace? Rhythm? Musicality? It just seems like stunt after stunt, which isn't really dancing. The audience digs it thought, and I bet it was thrilling to watch in person.
Bruno loved all the tricks and flips, but wishes she would do more dancing. Carrie Ann thought Shawn was polished, but she was a little too heavy on the footwork. Len also thought there were too many tricks and not enough dancing. Len is totally the Simon of this show. He's always right and the audience just boos him. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 9. I think that's about right.
And that's it for the evening! Here are the scores, and see you tomorrow night for the double elimination:
Gilles and Cheryl: 30
Melissa and Tony: 29
Kim and Derek: 27
Ty and Chelsie: 25
Shawn and Mark: 25
DAG and Kym: 21
LT and Edyta: 19
Holly and Dmitry: 16
Steve-O and Lacey: 15
Woz and Karina: 12