Last night, the show turned into a weird class system, with a bunch of people doing really well and a bunch of people doing really terribly and not a lot of middle ground. So there will be another dance-off tonight. GREAT! Another chance to see the two worst dances from last night. Can't wait. And it's all happening LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
Some highlights from the interview segments during the recap of all the routines: Tony doing a little victory dance to celebrate his tie for first place, Denise laughing that they'll probably be in the bottom two, Maks just looking dazed like, "WTF have I gotten myself into?" and Karina's bizarre Little Orphan Annie hairdo. How did I not notice that last night?
Right off, they're going to reveal four couples that are safe: Melissa and Tony, Gilles and Cheryl, Shawn and Mark and... WTF? Karina and Woz? The judges are PISSED. My husband totally called it. Karina screams loudly and jumps around. I guess there was a judge backlash and it got people to call in? Look, I'm not going to try to argue about the integrity of this show, because it is a silly dancing show, but this is ridiculous. Why does the audience hate me? And yes, it is all about me.
Samantha is talking to Gilles, Shawn, Melissa and Woz backstage. Gilles says that even when you have high scores, it's still scary to be standing out there, and he always hopes people will call. Shawn says that she is glad it paid off, since she worked hard to be elegant, which doesn't come naturally to her. Melissa is flattered that people think she makes dancing look easy, but she has to work really hard. Woz says that he's more shocked than he's ever been, except the time he got served with divorce papers. Can you imagine being married to him? I wonder if he had a pre-nup. Ooh, I just looked it up and he's currently on his fourth marriage. Wow.
Tom is ready to reveal some more couples that will be returning week. The safe couples are: Lawrence and Edyta, David and Kym, Chuck and Julianne, and Lil Kim and Derek. I was wondering where Kim and Derek were! I figured they would be in the first group. Tom promises that we'll find out the bottom two in a few minutes. I wonder if Steve-O might just forfeit if he's in the bottom two.
week, they are introducing two new dances: the Lindy Hop, and the Argentine Tango. So Cloris Leachman (blech) and Corky Ballas (double blech) are back to demonstrate. Oh, it's a taped segment, at least, and they're totally ripping on Cloris' age and lack of dancing ability. It's funny but I do really miss when Len used to give a little tutorial on each type of dance every week. Did that happen or did I imagine it? I do like knowing what specific moves the judges are looking for; it helps me to understand the scores, I think. I feel like they could cut out at least one trash-talking segment each week, or one of Samantha's stupid questions and fit that in. Anyway, that segment was as funny as Cloris and Corky always are. To me that is not funny, but clearly some people like them.
Aw, Hall & Oates are performing. Ooh, thank God this didn't happen the season that Adam Carolla was on -- they're playing "Maneater," and he has a big rant about how terrible this song is that I've heard many times. Also, Oates needs to stop dying his hair jet black. He's not fooling anyone. And also, I listened to "She's Gone" on the way home from work today and I was singing along REALLY LOUDLY and I had all the windows up and someone glanced over at me at a stoplight. Oops. So while they sing, Karina is all dressed up as the maneater, I guess, and she's dancing with Tony, Maks, and Dmitry. It's all VERY Solid Gold. I mean Karina is wearing a red spandex jumpsuit with legwarmers and a spangly headband, for crying out loud. And I just realized that I'm pretty sure this is a jitterbug? That was weird. At the end, Karina pushes the other dudes away and kisses Maks. Just like in real life!
Tom and Samantha introduce Adele, who sings "Chasing Pavements." Hey, that song is on my iPod, too! It's like they hit shuffle for tonight's musical entertainment. I love Adele. She's super-cute, and what a voice. I'm digging her fake eyelashes too. As she dances, Edyta and Alec do a rumba (I think). Man, they are all about the real-life couples this week. I do love the pro dances, though. It's nice to see them able to dance to the best of their abilities, instead of having to drag along some dead weight. I think Edyta and Alec practically started doing it at the end of the dance. It made me a little uncomfortable.
There's a clip package about the dance-off. Guess what? It's stressful. No one wants to do it. It sucks to have to perform an already low-scored routine. Hey, guess what, producers? None of us want to watch it, either. We already hated it the first time. We don't need to see it again. I was thinking tonight that they should have a top-two dance-off, have the judges re-score and then declare a weekly winner. It would be meaningless, but who cares? At least we would get to see the best dances again instead of the worst. They already used to do one encore performance, so why not two? Just an idea.
So who is going to be in the dance-off? Not Steve-O and Lacey. They're safe! Lacey looks completely surprised. Holly and Dmitry are in the bottom two, though. Ty and Chelsie are safe, so Maks and Denise are also in the bottom two. They don't look surprised.
After the break, we see a clip package about Dmitry and Holly practicing their samba to try to perfect it. They specifically focus on footwork and hip action. I have GOT to give props to forum poster msmplm, who noted that Holly's dance last night looked like Baby's older sister Lisa doing her hula routine in the camp talent show in Dirty Dancing. Nailed it! So they redo the routine. The beginning is MUCH better, but it falls apart a little in the middle. Holly seems unsure of the steps, although she does seem to taking Carrie Ann's advice to stand on her own feet. Judges? Len thinks it was much improved, although they did make a mistake at one point. Bruno tells Holly that she's super-hot, but her timing leaves a little to be desired, and she needs to work on her foot placement. Carrie Ann likes that Holly is a party, and she compliments her ability to avoid an illegal lift.
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Backstage, Holly tells Samantha that she's having fun out there and continues with her inane giggling. Dmitry has a chance to clarify his comment last night, where he seemed to suggest that he doesn't enjoy being Holly's partner. He... doesn't do a great job with that correction, although bless him for trying. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6 and Bruno 6. Holly has total bitchface during the scores, although their score is one higher than last night.
Last night, Denise and her gigantic throbbing forehead vein got terrible scores, so they rehearsed this morning. Maks tells her that she focuses too much on the steps, and adds that she needs to think about looking like she's enjoying herself. My husband wanted to amend his comment last night to, "Denise Richards Colon She's A Terrible Actress." So they redo their routine. Denise is much lighter on her feet and she actually looks like she's having some fun out there, although she's still got zero sense of rhythm and a weird stiffness in her upper body. Also, her crazy hair and heavy eyeliner are making her look really crazy. Judges? Bruno thinks she improved a great deal under difficult circumstances. He advises her to build a character and use that to get into steps. Carrie Ann says she's good under pressure, and Denise and Maks die laughing, so that must not be true. Len thinks Denise has proven that she deserves to stay.
Backstage, Samantha points out that Denise and Holly are very supportive of one another. Hey, they're E! reality star sisters! Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 7 and Bruno 7 for a total of 20. That's four points higher than they did last night. There's some confusion over Carrie Ann's score: the producers claim that she wrote 7 on the paper, but Carrie Ann says that she wrote 6. Tom tries to clear it up to no avail, so now we have to add in the home vote totals to find out who's staying and who's going.
After the break, Carrie Ann's 6 apparently stands, so Tom and Samantha prepare to reveal who's going home. And the big loser this week is Denise and Maks. I just think people really don't like her. I feel bad for Maks getting saddled with her. Denise says that her daughters love her dancing, and she's always been and will continue to be a fan of the show. Maks and Denise get their last dance and week will be, as previously mentioned, the Argentine tango and the Lindy Hop. And week is a double elimination! Wow, do you think Maks and Karina ever imagined that he would get eliminated before her this season, given their partners? And also, I am sad that I won't be able to make any more Denise Richards Colon It's Complicated jokes in homage to Joel McHale. Anyway, see you then.
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