Last night, the judges brought Brooke and Derek back down to earth when they turned in a disastrous first performance, and they elevated Lance and Lacey when they showed up with their game faces on. Tonight, we'll find out who's going on to the finals week, and we'll find out LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
Tonight's show will also feature the most musical talent ever packed into one show, and they're starting right off with Aretha doing "Chain of Fools." Yes, Aretha. Aretha Franklin. Hopefully you are familiar with her body of work, and you're probably also familiar with her divadom. My favorite diva move was on one of the VH1 Divas Live concerts when she just started singing over the top of Celine Dion as if to say, "Don't even try, bitch. I was singing soul classics before you even married your creepy manager as a child bride." Anyway, Aretha doesn't sound the best I've ever heard her, but WTF people, she's like a hundred years old and she's Aretha. And she still sounds better than most of the "talent" they have on this show. While she sings, Louis and Karina dance along with another couple, which is interesting because there were rumors that Aretha demanded that there be no dancers while she sang because she didn't want anything to pull focus. She's kind of awesome that way.
Tom reminds us that last night, Brooke's jive was terrible because she missed so many steps. Cody's paso doble was stiff and wooden. Warren's mambo won over the audience but not so much the judges. Lance's mambo got everyone excited again after a lackluster beginning from the other dancers. In the second round, Brooke came back with her salsa. Cody's salsa, in comparison, was not quite enough to win over the judges and he hoped it wasn't his last dance. Warren's jitterbug was a little out of control but the judges seemed okay with it. Lance lost a shoe in his jitterbug but still earned his highest scores yet. So which three will advance to the finals? We'll find out shortly.
The performance is set to begin. Look, I appreciate that being on this show is a big boost for lots of performers, but I watch this show for dancing, not musical performances. And the little dances the pros do while the performers sing isn't quite enough. Anyway, it's Leona Lewis and here's a shocker! She's singing "Bleeding Love." Maks and Karina come out to dance. Ooh! This just! Got! Interesting! Because they are rumored to be dating, so everyone is going to be analyzing their every move for evidence. It's hard to tell because the pros are good at making it look like they're totally doing it even when they're not. Anyway, Maks and Karina do a fairly awesome routine, and afterwards Tom and Samantha makes some cracks about how much chemistry they had and that they should date. So that's pretty much a confirmation, right? Wait. Why do I care?
The judges are asked what will send each couple to the finals. Len says that Cody has youth and energy, and some people think he's cute. Bruno thinks Lance brings originality and freshness. Carrie Ann thinks Warren would provide entertainment and charm. Len concludes that Brooke is the most polished and has the best technique. He adds that they're all fantastic, and Tom agrees.
Julianne is on to sing "My Hallelujah Song," and I think I read that this was actually recorded before her surgery. Mark and Derek come out to dance with her. Lacey makes an appearance as well. She's very talented, but her style just isn't my favorite. I can admit that she's a good dancer, but something about how she dances just doesn't appeal to me. Speaking of not appealing, this song kind of sucks, and Julianne has a lot of effects on her mic. She's no Faith Hill. It's nice to see Mark, Derek, and Lacey dancing together though because they are in perfect sync.
Backstage, Samantha interviews the final four about how they feel about their semifinal performances. Cody says he has no regrets, and neither does Lance. Brooke is proud of all they've accomplished. Warren goes for honesty and says he didn't sleep last night at all. Tom jokes that it wasn't because of nerves. I'm not quite sure what he's implying there, but I think there are a lot of jokes you could fill in.
Now for the fourth musical performance of the night, it's time for John Legend. As he sings, a bunch of dancers (like around fifteen or so) dance in front of him as well as behind him in stage. They sort of act as an American Bandstand/Soul Train thing, and they even form two lines and take turns dancing down the middle. It's a bit of a departure for this show, but it would probably be kind of boring to watch so many couples' dances in one night anyway. I think if I weren't weecapping, I probably would have fast forwarded through it, though.
Let's hear from the families of the contestants! Warren's mother loves to watch him dance. Hey! So does Cody's mom! She loves to watch Cody dance. It's unclear how Cody's mom feels about Warren. Brooke's fiancé (they're not married?) has a new respect for her. Lance's grandfather is proud, and also super cute. The families support their contestants. Cody's mom flies from Texas every week and tries to give him motherly advice. Lance's grandfather calls and votes on his landline and his cell phone both! I think his grandfather is more technologically advanced than some of my friends. David, Brooke's fiancé, says that he's tried to step it up in terms of parenting. Cody's mom hates to hear criticism of her son. That must be tough. I would want to jump up and slap the judges, I think. Warren's mom thinks that Warren is taking things more seriously than she thought he would. Cody's mom thinks the show has made him a deeper person. Brooke's fiancé has enjoyed seeing Brooke's competitive side, and he'll try to help her stay motivated. So what did we learn? They all have supportive family. Did you really expect that any of the families would say, "Eh. I watch if there's nothing else on." So that was kind of useless.
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Kristi and Mark, last season's champions, are back to dance along with Aretha Franklin singing "Respect." You know who didn't get any respect? Kristi from the hair and makeup department. Her hair is terrible! She really needs to ditch the bangs. Their dance is awesome though, and makes me wish for an All-Star version of this show. I'd love to see Kristi and Mark go up against Julianne and Apollo, for example.
Trash talk! Trash talk! They do this same segment every season and it always features the finalists in some sort of basement steam room or something. I don't get that setting at all. Is it like a Fight Club scenario? Also, everyone is wearing black leather and sequins. You know something's up when Lance Bass is the LEAST gay-looking one left. Each of the finalists says something nice about the others. Cody's awesome! Lance is awesome! Brooke is awesome! Warren is awesome! We didn't have enough content to fill up the whole hour, despite all the musical performances! And then they all threaten each other, but it's not funny or interesting really, so I'm bored.
It's finally time to reveal some results. Tom reminds us that these are in no particular order. The first couple to make it to the finals is Lance and Lacey. It's funny because before the season started, I would have predicted them to be in the finals, but halfway through the season, I had my doubts. The other couple moving on to the finals is Brooke and Derek! That's mildly surprising, since a lot of people on the forums thought we might have a Brooke leaving shocker this week. Backstage, the finalists are giddy. Samantha tries to get them to trash talk each other, but Brooke says she's happy that Lance and Lacey are still there, and Lance agrees.
Finally, it's time to reveal who's going home tonight. And the couple going home is Cody and Julianne. Warren looks really relieved, and Kym looks sad for Cody. They all hug and the crowd gives Cody a standing ovation. Samantha tells Cody that his "notoriety" has grown. I don't think she knows what that word means. Cody says that words fail him to explain how much he grew and learned on this show. He thanks the fans for their support as well. Tom points out that Cody had two different partners, which was unusual, and then introduces a clip package showing Cody's changes throughout the season and his friendship with Julianne. Julianne thinks that she and Cody have had the biggest journey of any couple, and they move over to take their last dance together.
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See how this season's stars stack up against celebs of season's past. And see what Maksim has to say about the finalists. And watch our video recap of this week's episode.
Kim plots world domination, one domain at a time, at her blog Fresh Hell. You can contact her at reedkim@gmail.com.
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