Last night, all five remaining competitors had to perform two dances each, which meant a whole lot of dancing. And tonight, one of them will be going home, and we'll find out LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
Tom and Samantha announce that Brad Paisley will be performing tonight, while Lacey will dance with her brother Benji. And I know you all know by now that I don't watch So You Think You Can Dance, and I kind of resent being forced to watch dancers from that show on this one. I can't believe that FOX doesn't have those dancers on lockdown. Also, tonight will be the dance that people on the website voted for, which should be kind of interesting. Plus, Dr. Drew!
To quote the Chenbot, "but first!" we need to review what happened last night. The judges are at a roundtable to discuss, and they agree it was one of the best two-dance nights in the history of the show. Cody started with a foxtrot. Len thought he beat expectations, and Carrie Ann admires his resilience. Brooke's tango got perfect scores from everyone but Len, who was disappointed by their footwork blunders. Maurice did a quickstep. Carrie Ann admired his vulnerability. Lance's foxtrot had a lot of personality, which won Len over. Warren's tango showed off his charisma and won over Carrie Ann.
On to the Latin round. The judges giggle over Cody's solo in the mambo, which was a little intense. Len wishes that Brooke had done her solo in the middle of the floor instead of on the side. Maurice's paso doble showed his determination, according to Bruno. Len thinks Lance's solo was too boy-band and not enough samba. Bruno refers to Warren as "Mr. Big Fun" and they all giggle over Warren's electric personality.
Samantha jokes that she's happy that the judges don't critique her and Tom, also, and Tom wonders why she thinks the judges don't do that. Why not? I do. Lots of people do! And Tom is awesome and Samantha is terrible. Anyway, Len announces that they would love to see Warren and Kym's tango again, so Warren and Kym come out and dance. Warren's posture is not quite as good as I remember from last night. His footwork might be better, though. I'm kind of interested in the thought process that goes into choosing which couple does the encore dance. It's not highest-scoring, and they obviously try to spread it out a little bit so that it's not the same couple every week. Some of the conspiracy theorists on the forums would argue that the producers use it to push whichever couple they are trying to get into the finals for whatever reasons, which I don't know if I buy.
Samantha is backstage talking to Brooke and Derek, the current leaders. Brooke and Derek are very careful not to say anything bad about Len, even though he gave them a low score. Cody is also standing there with both Julianne and Edyta. Cody manages to say something fairly coherent considering his situation. Julianne compliments Edyta and says it would be really frustrating if he got voted off the week before she was able to come back. Derek can't stop mugging for the camera, even ducking into the shot for a second. Derek is the new Cloris. Except in a bad way, because he should know better. He bugs me. I liked it better when he was new to the show and behaved himself.
Tom announces Brad Paisley is there to perform his song "Ticks" while Lacey and Benji Schwimmer dance. I think they just panned past Papa Schwimmer in the audience. At least that's what I think he looked like from the one time he's been on this show. So then Benji and Lacey come out all countrified, and their dancing is fine, but it seems way too gimmicky, instead of just pure ballroom dancing. They're like the Houghs on Red Bull or something. Whereas the Houghs take ballroom and crank it up a notch, the Houghs take contemporary dancing and add a little ballroom to it. And then there's the incessant mugging for the cameras. Blech.
Hey, you know what I didn't miss at all? The audience reaction to the dances montage. Because they just show nice and bad things about each couple equally so at the end, it's not like you leave thinking, "Oh, the consensus of the audience is..." or whatever. Instead, you're just left thinking, "What a waste of my time."
So which couples are moving on to the semifinals? The first couple moving on is... Warren and Kym. Joining them are... Lance and Lacey. They look surprised. I think everyone thought that Brooke and Derek would be announced . Cody looks really resigned, like he knows he's going. I don't know that he is! It could be Maurice. You know it's not Brooke and Derek, or they would have been teasing the shocking elimination all night.
And it's time for Dr. Drew. I think Adam Carolla needs to get in touch with his old buddy and turn him on to the idea that maybe pleated-front pants aren't the best look. Don't get me wrong. If you watch Celebrity Rehab (and why don't you?), you know that Dr. Drew is totally selling tickets to the gun show, if you get my drift. He's got a great body for a silver fox. But the pleated pants? Yeesh. Anyway, Drew is here to talk to the couples and resolve any problems. First up are Lance and Lacey. They discuss their recent fight, where Lacey accused Lance of being too negative. Lance says that he gets frustrated with his limitations, but he knows he'll get it in the end. Lacey is surprised to hear that, and Drew counsels her to have a more positive attitude herself, and know that Lance is just blowing off steam with his negativity. Drew announces that Lance and Lacey need to allow each other to have their feelings. Ooh. I like that. Drew is so smart!
Warren and Kym are up . Warren says that pressure doesn't bother him, because he had a rough childhood. Kym expresses that Warren's schedule is so crazy that they don't get much rehearsal time, and it's only going to get crazier. Warren thinks he can get it down in three focused hours. I think that SOME people can; Mel B was rumored to have really short rehearsals because she's just one of those people who gets choreography really quickly. Drew expresses concern that Warren isn't really facing the amount of pressure he's going to be under soon.
Sad intense music starts up as we move on to Maurice and Cheryl. Whoa. What's going to happen in their session? Drew asks them first if their goal is to win this competition or to have a good time. Cheryl wants both, but Maurice says he's very competitive even if he's out of his comfort zone. Drew reminds Maurice that coaches can be hard on you to get performance. Maurice says that he shuts down and it makes Cheryl frustrated, especially when he doesn't get something after many tries. Drew explains that Maurice needs to get his technique down so that he can let the emotionality out. Wow. I could watch a whole one-hour special just on this.
So now it's time for the dance that the Internet picked. An audience member designed the costumes, and everyone votes on the type of dance and who would perform. And it's the jive! Derek comes out, so he was the male choice, and the song is "Great Balls of Fire." He dances down to a grand piano in the middle of the floor, and then opens it up and out pops... Julianne! Considering that she had surgery like two weeks ago, it's amazing that she's out there at all, but then when you see the actual routine... holy crap! The jive is not exactly the waltz, and because they're the Houghs, they've added all kinds of flips and jumps and kicks and lifts and cartwheels. At one point, Julianne leaps off the piano and Derek catches her. She also carries him around on her shoulders. The amount of energy in this routine is amazing; I'd like to think they were kind of like, "Let's show those stupid Schwimmers how a brother/sister routine is done!" And they do. And they get a standing ovation.
Dr. Drew is going to meet with the remaining competition. Brooke and Derek are up . Brooke says she's tried to do whatever Derek asks, but they recently got in a fight because Derek got really rude and mean with her. Derek explains that he treats her like a professional sometimes. Brooke can't deal with him insulting and disrespecting her. Drew explains that Brooke needs to be more clear about where her lines are, and when Derek crosses them. Sometimes I forget how young Derek and Julianne and some of the other dancers are, because they are such mature performers.
Julianne and Cody are on the couch. Cody says he has a rollercoaster of emotions. Julianne says that Cody gets frustrated in rehearsals, and he gets distracted. Drew brings up Julianne's surgery. Cody says that he was really worried and he actually cries a little bit, which makes Julianne tear up, too. Cody says that she's amazing and helped him grow as a person. Julianne says that she loves the friendships from the show. They hug. Drew didn't even have to talk to them. They kind of handled it all themselves.
Samantha is backstage with the two safe couples. She asks Warren what he has to do to win, and he says that he has to focus and listen to Kym, his coach. Samantha asks Lance and Lacey about Len's low score for them. Lance says that Len is who he is, and they're through trying to figure him out. That sounds snarky; he actually said it very diplomatically.
Brad Paisley is back to sing another song. Dancing along this time are Maks and Karina, Alec and Edyta, and two other people I've never heard of before. I just noticed that Brad Paisley has a paisley section on his guitar. That's kind of... twee, isn't it? Maks comes out and I think his hair grew a ton since last week. I guess going from nearly bald to short hair is a lot more obvious than going from long hair to slightly longer hair. The synchronization in the pro routines is really amazing. They are all doing the same thing at the exact same time. Tom comes out to thank Brad Paisley and then announces that this year's live tour is going to be choreographed by Maks. Tom asks Maks about his hair, but he doesn't have much to say. Maks says that this year's tour will be a lot more pop, and announces that Lance, Maurice, Marlee and Toni Braxton will be joining them.
Now we go to a clip package to talk about the anatomy of a dancer. This is sort of like all those packages during the Olympics explaining why Michael Phelps is the perfect swimmer. The doctor explains that dancers have very fast foot speed, and they also can spin 180 revolutions per minute while maintaining balance. She kind of goes on and on about their muscles and whatever - everyone is just looking at the footage of half-naked Alec and Edyta they're showing while the doctor talks. The doctor adds that these dancers can't show any effort or strain while performing, unlike most athletes. They can't grunt or groan or anything. They have to slap a smile on their faces and work through it. She concludes that these dancers are true athletes. That could have been a lot more interesting.
Now it's time to find out who else is going to the semifinals. Maurice and Cheryl are in the bottom two. Brooke and Derek are going to the semifinals, so to the surprise of no one, Cody and Edyta are also in jeopardy.
After the break ,we get to find out who's going home FINALLY. And the couple going home is... Maurice and Cheryl. I didn't know who I wanted, but after tonight's episode, I'm happy that Cody is sticking around for at least another week, because I thought he would have a nervous breakdown if he didn't get a chance to dance with Julianne one more time. Maurice says that he loved everything about the experience, and Cheryl says that he was the hardest-working partner she's ever had. Cody looks like he hasn't quite figured out yet that he gets to stick around. Maurice pulls his daughter out of the crowd for a final dance and she is adorable. Nice that for Maurice, the band plays, "Please Don't Go" while they told Susan to "Hit the Road, Jack." You stay classy, band. See you guys week!
Discuss this episode in our forums, then check out our gallery of Stars We Wanna See on Dancing With the Stars! And watch our video recap of this week's episode.
Kim plots world domination, one domain at a time, at her blog Fresh Hell. You can contact her at reedkim@gmail.com.