Last week, Susan finally went home, and now it's actually true that any of the remaining contestants could win. Don't you think? I don't think it's likely that, for example, Maurice is going to take home the trophy, but it seems possible. So who will get injured or screw up tonight? We'll find out LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
What is up with Samantha's hair? No, seriously. What is up with it? It's like, you know when you're having a bad hair day, and so you think that if you just put it all up in some sort of elaborate French braid, so that no hair is actually visible, it will look better? And then it still looks terrible so you try to slick it down with various products? And eventually you just call it a day because it's either take another shower and start over or move on with your life? It's like that. Except Samantha is on national television so maybe she should have gone with the take another shower option. Tom and Samantha introduce the couples. Cody is still with Edyta, which is not surprising. A lot of people are wearing red this week. Also, hello to Kym's boobs, which have been on the show all season, but are especially prominent this evening. I have this half-assed theory that the skimpier the lady's costume is, the crappier they expect their routine to be. Kym shows more boob to distract us from Warren's screwups. It's just a theory. I haven't actually like, Nate Silver-ed it up and run the statistics or anything.
Samantha explain that each couple will be doing two dances tonight, and during the Latin dance, the celebrity will have to do a fifteen-second solo. Len explains that the judges are really looking forward to it, because the stars will have nowhere to hide.
Cody and Edyta are up first. Last week, Cody fell to the bottom of the leader board with his Viennese Waltz. Plus, he's still getting used to having Edyta as a partner. Cody's friends show up to watch him rehearse. And then they all ogle Edyta. Not sure what the point of that segment was. And it also goes on and on and on. I have to assume that Cody has no personality so this is their substitute for making him interesting.
Their first dance is a fotxtrot. Edyta looks great in a slinky dress with no weird legwarmers or feathers or anything. Cody's movements look pretty good to me, but they're out of sync when they're not in hold. It's tough that he had to do a foxtrot after getting bad marks on the waltz, since the movements are so similar. I will say that they actually move around the floor, instead of using Edyta's typical "strike a pose and have my partner walk around me" style of choreography.
Len explains that, even with two dances, their standards aren't lowered. That said, he thought Cody did a great job. Bruno is impressed that Cody got his jerkiness under control and gave a "grown up performance." Carrie Ann gets interrupted by a shrieking fan, but finishes up by complimenting their routine but explaining that she saw Edyta's foot come off the ground. I'm so over lifts. Why don't they just eliminate that rule if it's clearly an accident? I mean, if the dude is swinging the girl over his head, that's one thing. But if she's trying to keep her foot on the ground and it slips up for a minute? Who cares? Backstage, Cody says that after last week's poor scores, he became a new man. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8. So Carrie Ann would have given a 9? Interesting.
Brooke and Derek are up , and it seems early in the night to see their routine, doesn't it? Last week, the judges told Brooke that she was getting as good as some of their professionals, and gave her a perfect score. In rehearsals, Derek tells Brooke that he's going to start treating her like a professional in rehearsals because he knows that she can handle it. Derek is frustrated, but he mentions that she's the only woman left in the competition and men have won much more frequently, so she has something to prove.
Their first dance is the tango, which actually starts before the music with Derek dragging Brooke across the floor. Brooke totally gets the tango but her posture seems a bit off. It's like she's leaning back too far. She totally gets the attitude of the tango, though, and her footwork is excellent. There's totally a lift though, so let's see if Carrie Ann calls them on it. Brooke tries to cover it, but I think both of her feet left the ground.
Tom was impressed. I love it when Tom drops the impartial façade and expresses his appreciation of a routine. Bruno loved the tone and compares them to two instruments that have played together forever. Carrie Ann thinks it was beyond phenomenal. She doesn't mention the lift. Len thinks they are a dream team, but he points out a lack of heel leads and other smaller mistakes and says that Derek knows it. Len is always harder on the tango, isn't he?
Backstage, Samantha asks Brooke how it feels to be judged as a professional. Brooke says that she's not, so it was kind of a backhanded compliment from Len. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 8, and Bruno 10. The crowd boos Len's score.
Last week. Len told Maurice he had his best dance yet. Maurice channels LL Cool J: "Don't call it a comeback! I been here for weeks!" Maurice danced the paso in the team dance, and that's his routine this week. He watches the video of his performance to learn from it, and then they move on to the quickstep. Maurice has trouble running while in hold, since he's used to running solo. Cheryl is faster than him!
Their quickstep is up first. Maurice's footwork looks pretty good in the first pass. I'm not crazy about their second run around the floor because it looks just like running with no actual dance steps. Something goes flying off Cheryl's dress at one point, or her hair, or her earrings. They end with a really poor cartwheel by Cheryl. Bad idea, Cheryl.
Carrie Ann liked his posture and his head angles showed much improvement. Len says that Maurice flew around the floor, and he had great footwork. Bruno thought that Maurice kept his posture and energy throughout the routine instead of deflating halfway through. Knowing that's a problem, Cheryl should put something near the end of the choreography that Maurice loves to do to keep his energy up. No?
Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8. Backstage, Samantha asks Maurice if he thought he'd have an advantage in the running parts of the quickstep. Maurice points out that it's very different than running in a straight line on the track. Thanks for making him point out the obvious, Samantha.
Lance and Lacey faced Len's wrath last week when he danced barefoot. This week, they have to do the samba and the foxtrot. Lance encourages Lacey to press him really hard to improve his technique. Lance announces that, at the beginning of the semester, they were just trying to stand out with their gimmicks, but now they've realized that they need to focus more on technique.
Lance and Lacey start their foxtrot in a really un-foxtrot like way. It almost starts like a quickstep but then morphs into a foxtrot. I think Lacey sticks her butt out too much and that's why I think she doesn't look great. When they break out of hold, they're a little out of sync (no pun intended). Lacey's dress is also really ugly. But who cares how much I hate Lacey? What did the judges think?
Len thinks it was an extreme makeover, and while their footwork was "a bit dodgy" in hold, he thought it was great. Bruno enjoyed how they kept their personalities while demonstrating great technique. Carrie Ann calls Lance a "bright light."
Backstage, Samantha compliments Lance on getting compliments from all three judges. Lacey says that Lance's competitive spirit has been ignited now that he has his eyes on the prize. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8, and Bruno 9. Everyone jokes about how Len's score was still lower after all that.
Last week, Warren's high scores in the team dance helped him out a great deal, since his scores for his foxtrot were terrible. Afterwards, Warren freaks out because he says that it was the first time that he felt upside down on the dance floor. This week, they're working on the jive, which is a lot of movement around the floor for a big guy. And then they have to work on the tango. Warren looks at this like the playoffs, where you only get one shot and you're either in or out.
Their tango is up first. They start out very far apart on the floor for a tango. Warren's footwork is great as always, but he's looking down too much for a tango. I feel like his chin should be up more. There's some neat footwork in the choreography though, and I don't know that Kym has been able to show off her choreography skills like this before. There's one dodgy bit in the corner where it actually looks like Kym messes up, although it certainly could be that she was just trying to cover for Warren's mistake as well. The crowd freaking loves Warren.Bruno thinks Warren is back, and he does a mean tango. Carrie Ann compliments Warren's sparkly jacket, and loves how he connects with the audience. Len thinks Warren was fantastic, although he didn't like the rise and fall in parts. Tom chuckles that Len can't just give a straight compliment, and Len says he's just trying to help them improve.
Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 9, and Bruno 9. Warren is thrilled that he got a 10. Samantha asks about how the team dance saved them last week. Warren says that he definitely felt like he had something to prove. Warren also promises some craziness during his fifteen seconds of solo.
So now we start the Latin round. I'm most excited about this because it means no boring clip packages before we get to the dancing. Cody and Edyta are up first with the mambo. They do a lot of the routine up on the platform. Are they going to come down to the floor? Oh, they finally do. Cody gets a little ahead of the routine when he's out of hold. There's also another near lift. Cody does something that's not really dancing for his solo portion. He does a one-armed pushup and then a back somersault and then... some pelvic thrusts? Not really dancing. He finishes by leaping up onto the judges' table. Lame.
Carrie Ann gives him an A for effort but thinks that it felt a bit disjointed. Len thinks Cody did two good dances tonight, even if this one felt a little angular. Bruno thinks it was a bit spasmodic at times and even demonstrates. I want an animated gif of Bruno demonstrating that, please. Bruno appreciates that Cody always gives it his all. Backstage, Samantha forces Cody to brag about his success with the ladies and also discuss his sexual fantasies about half-naked women. GROSS! Cody drops the news that Julianne is coming back week, and Edyta is gracious enough to say that everyone needs to vote for Cody so Julianne can come back. I know I make fun of her legwarmers, but she seems really sweet. She even says that Cody is her youngest friend! Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8.
Tom reveals that Julianne will be back for tomorrow night's results show. But first we have to see Brooke and Derek's mambo. Derek starts out with his back to the audience and he's totally rubbing his buttocks. What is happening? He does a series of moves and then throws it to Brooke, who's in front of the judges' table. She does some fancy footwork (and hip work), which is great, except that the judges can't see her feet. The best part is watching Bruno's overly dramatic reactions. I guess this is Brooke's solo? Because the rest of the routine is pretty much done in hold. There are some cute moves where they pretend like one or the other of them is tripping and being caught -- at least it differentiates them from the other mambo dancers tonight. I thought Brooke's legs looked extra skinny tonight. I don't know if it was due to her poufy skirt or what, but they were kind of creeping me out.
The crowd gives them a standing ovation but it doesn't seem as enthusiastic as Warren's was. Len thought it was ambitious, but he couldn't see Brooke's feet in the beginning. Overall, he thought it was fantastic. Bruno thought it was exuberant and then pretends like he's into chicks for a while. Didn't we establish last week that he loves feather boas? Carrie Ann loved it, but thought Brooke's posture wasn't great at times. Hey! Dr. Drew's going to be on tomorrow night. I freaking love Dr. Drew. Both for his mind and his silver fox body. Anyway, scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9.
Maurice and Cheryl's paso doble is up . Maurice's posture starts out great, although it's sort of disconcerting to see him so serious instead of smiling big. He and Cheryl do some work with a cape and then Cheryl retreats so that Maurice can do some twirling of the cape for his solo bit. Again, not dancing. It looks cool, but it's not dancing. Also, Maurice's solo turns are really stiff. When he and Cheryl finally get back in hold, he does really well, but he seems to confuse straight posture with stiff posture. The audience loved it though, so what do I know?
Bruno loved the cape twirling, and thought Maurice was strong, imposing, and powerful. Carrie Ann loved his focus and intensity, and offers some challenges for week. Len doesn't always love the cape work, but he thought it was a good use of the fifteen seconds, and Maurice really attacked it. Backstage, Samantha asks if Maurice's success in the group dance last week helped him out, and Maurice agrees that it did. Samantha asks the most leading questions ever: "Cheryl, do you feel that his champion's mentality..." Like she's going to say no. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8. I thought that was a few points underscored, actually.
Lance and Lacey will be doing the samba for their Latin round. Lance does the solo work in the beginning, and while it's not fantastic or anything, at least he's actually dancing. Lacey's skirt is basically about ten ostrich feathers gathered around her waist and it's supremely unflattering to her body type. It makes her look like Petunia Pig. I can't really comment on the dancing because it's just...there.
Carrie Ann thinks that the samba is really difficult to master, and they did well. She wondered why Lance was looking up all the time, which I actually wondered too. Bruno thinks he was looking at the balcony. Len saw some nice elements in the routine, but he wanted the solo to have more of a samba flavor. I agree. He wants Lance to work on his footwork and finally mentions that Lance is severely pigeon-toed. Thank you! Bruno loved the solo, and praises their samba rolls, which was more content than a lot of others put into their routines. Backstage, Samantha asks if Lance's background helped his solo, and Lance says it did because he's not used to partnering. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, and Bruno 9. Bruno snarls as he gives his score.
Warren and Kym begin their jive. Warren looks kind of tentative at first; I think he's anticipating his solo turn. And when it comes, his footwork is awesome as always! He does one kick that's higher than I've seen most of the female contestants do this season. He still looks a little tentative when they go back into hold, but he clearly loved having the crowd's attention. They reward him with another standing ovation.
Len tells Warren that his dancing is joyful, but his feet were indescribably bad. Bruno releases "a contagious sense of fun" and he thinks you can't dissect his technique. Carrie Ann thinks Warren's comfy shoes (which look like sneakers) made them stare at his feet, and she says that despite his footwear, he made his footwork work somehow. Backstage, Samantha asks how Warren felt about the fast pace of the jive. Warren says that once he gets going, he can't stop. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8, and Bruno 9. Kym is kind of surprised by how high the scores ended up. Me too! After those comments, I was thinking more like 24.
The standings are:
Brooke and Derek: 28 + 27 = 55
Warren and Kym: 28 + 26 = 54
Lance and Lacey: 26 + 24 = 50
Cody and Edyta: 24 + 24 = 48
Maurice and Cheryl: 24 + 24 = 48
Kim plots world domination, one domain at a time, at her blog Fresh Hell. You can contact her at reedkim@gmail.com.