Whew! It's been a week, hasn't it? I hope people really love this show, because five hours in one week is a lot to ask. Then again, maybe it's exactly what people need to avoid thinking about the financial meltdown and the presidential race and the tainted milk in China and whatnot. So let's get it started in here. Tom reminds us that Jeff Ross and his sequined eyepatch went home last night, and another couple will go home tonight. Will there be a surprise tonight? We'll find out LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
I really like Samantha's dress tonight -- it's a chocolate brown that looks really good with her coloring and she'd better look good, because God knows she isn't going to sound that good. They immediately throw to a dance by the pros set to "Under Pressure" by Queen and David Bowie. It's Alec, Tony, and Derek dancing with Lacey, Cheryl, and Edyta. And then Kym, Julianne, and Inna (I think?) come out and dance with Corky and Mark. And then Maks and Karina come out and do a sexy bit during the bridge. It's always weird to me to see Derek and Julianne dancing together, because not only are they siblings, they look like twins. It is really nice to see the pros have the chance to show their stuff, although I think I prefer the dances where they have fewer participants and you can really focus on one or two of them. After the routine, Tom plugs their new fitness DVD, and frankly, seeing the bodies on these people (minus Cheryl, sorry), and seeing the transformation from celebrities in seasons past, I'm kind of sold.
Tom reviews last night's routines. I find it interesting that they don't even let Samantha do this part, which is probably prerecorded. Can't she read copy? And after four hours of programming already this week, they really need a lot of filler apparently, so they review last night's scores as well. They even repeat one of Kim's confessionals where she talks about how she's opening up more with each dance. I am so not going there. I guess there's no encore performance tonight since they need the time for the teenybopper performers -- the Jonas Brothers and Jesse McCartney.
Samantha is ready to reveal the first two couples that are safe, so here we go. The first one is... Brooke and Derek. The second one is... Kim and Mark. Ugh. Vote for the worst. She is kind of a trainwreck, but not one I'm enjoying. And I do usually enjoy a good trainwreck. Tom tries to buy me off by giving me one last LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE before going into break, but no dice, Tom.
Oh, instead of an encore of the best performance, they're letting Jeff and Edyta do their quickstep, since they didn't get to do it last night. That's nice, but I frankly don't want to see another bad performance. It's actually not that bad, though. It does remind me of Idol where they make the eliminated person re-sing the song that got them booted in the first place. Insult to injury. It cracks me up because Jeff's kicks are totally karate kicks with a flat foot instead of a pointed toe. It's better than Kim's mambo, that's for sure. I wonder if the pressure being off made it easier.
Samantha talks to the safe couples backstage. She asks Brooke if everyone is gunning for her now. Derek says it's more pressure and Brooke worries that people might not vote, assuming they're safe. Samantha asks Mark and Kim if waiting so long to dance made things more difficult. Kim gives some platitudes about improving and listening to the judges. Blah.
Tom is ready to reveal one more safe couples and it's...Cloris and Corky. Boo. That means someone actually deserving is going home because the two worst are already safe.
Now it's time for Jesse McCartney to perform. I remember recapping this kid on Summerland, along with a young Zac Efron. What a time that was. I do like his shorter hair, though. At the risk of sounding like a parent from the '60s, I hope shorter hair comes back from men. I'm not into that greasy mess most dudes have on their heads. While he sings, Ashly and some dude named Italo, I think? I'm sure people who are fans of actual ballroom dancing will be mad I don't know this guy, but you know, I get all my dancing information from cheesy reality shows and occasional gossip items on blogs.
Ooh, a pre-recorded Adam Carolla statement. I wish he were on live, though. Adam is talking to people on the streets to find out what they think of the new season. God, it looks hot out there. People say semi-goofy things and Adam makes fun of them. I've just summed up the entire segment. My favorite part is when Adam is talking to one dude and someone in a black Spiderman costume just strolls down the sidewalk behind them. You know, as you do. Adam pretends that he hates Cody Linley because he's dancing with Julianne, which is kind of funny. Also, no one knows who Adam is. Aw, I was really looking forward to an Adam and Julianne reunion. I always enjoyed their Lucy/Ricky chemistry.
1 2 3 4
Time to save another couple! And the couple to be saved is...Maurice and Cheryl.
Oh, the Jonas Brothers. How many ABC execs were scrambling today trying to get their daughters tickets to the show tonight? I can't wait until these boys go totally Hanson and start getting married and pushing out ten kids each and going on Howard Stern. That will be awesome. Joe Jonas stands up and "dances" with Mark and Derek, but really he's kind of tapping his toes while they actually dance. That was effing lame. When the song kicks into rock mode, Lacey and Inna join Mark and Derek on the floor for some dancing. How do these pros learn all these routines? They had to choreograph and teach two routines, and then learn two more routines for the results show. That must be exhausting.
After the performance, Samantha throws to a clip package where we learn why this is the biggest season ever. Dear ABC: We're already watching. You don't need to convince us. Thanks. I do enjoy watching Susan Lucci trash-talking because since she's such a soap star, she does it so well.
So now we get to hear two more safe couples. The first one is... Misty and Maks. Yay! I'm kind of rooting for them. And the second one is... Warren and Kym. This all sucks because other than maybe Cody, I don't want any of the people left to leave. Boo.
Samantha's backstage with Maurice, Misty, Warren and Cloris and their partners. Maurice says he's looking forward to dancing "real sexy doing the rumba." Misty says that she's excited to learn a new dance, but she has no expression on her face at all when she says it. Like totally deadpan. And kind of annoyed. Then again, she's talking to Samantha, so there's that. Warren is looking forward to wearing sequins. Cloris is looking forward to seeing everyone dance, and she thinks Maurice loves himself. Also, Cloris decides Samantha is going to be her new partner after Corky calls her "mouth."
The couple continuing to the round is... Susan and Tony. And joining them are... Rocco and Karina! Yay! I was getting worried about old Rocco. I didn't know what kind of fan base he had. So one of the following will be going home: Cody, Ted, Toni, or Lance. It would be really shocking if it were Lance, but if that happened, I would blame Lacey.
After the final break, it's time for more results. Lance and Lacey are safe. Cody and Julianne are safe. So it's down to Toni and Alec or Ted and Inna. Tom reminds them that they are not necessarily in the bottom two. Let's hear what the judges think. Len reminds us that the judges' scores don't determine who goes home, since the remaining two got decent scores. I guess the other judges don't matter, since we go right to the final announcement. Going home this week is... Ted and Inna. Oh, poor Inna. She finally gets on the show and then goes home in week one. I hope they let her come back season. In their exit interview, Ted says he'll miss everyone, and he was actually looking forward to dancing more. week's dances are the rumba and the paso doble. See you then!
1 2 3 4