Tom and Samantha welcome us to the results show, where we will learn which three couples will get to go to the finals week. First, they recap last night's performances with new confessional footage. In those confessionals, Jason tells Len that he loves him like a play-cousin, Cristian celebrates avoiding the ER, Kristi and Mark beg for votes (which makes me think maybe they don't understand that the confessional footage isn't shown on television until the results show), and Marissa and Tony hoped that they would return week, but promised to be in the audience if they're not. The one clip I really enjoyed there was the footage of Cheryl and Cristian walking through the backstage hallways and Cheryl teasing Tom Bergeron about her scores, as Tom walked around with his tie undone and his shirt half-unbuttoned (presumably after the show). I like real backstage moments.
Len asks to see an encore of Kristi and Mark's tango. That's funny, since he was the one who didn't like it last night. I wish Kristi had worn a slightly shorter dress (or one with more of a slit) because they do a lot of cool footwork and you can't really see her feet so well. I think Kristi's facial expressions were better tonight than last night.
Now it's time for the little kids to compete again, and I've gone on record as kind of hating this. Some people posted in the forums that these kids are used to competition, as they compete all the time around the country, and I'm kind of against that too, but I'm especially against doing it on national television, on one of the highest-ranked shows in the country. Tom is quick to point out that viewers will be voting for the winner, and we're supposed to pick the couple we find most entertaining, probably because, due to the age difference, it wouldn't be fair to just vote for who is technically better. But since when does the American public listen to instructions? The first couple, the 9-year-olds Aaron and Rashell, get a visit from Kym Johnson to get some pointers. The kids dance, and I don't know. There's just something unnatural about seeing little kids do these polished dances. It creeps me out a little bit. The judges heap praise on them.
Samantha does an interview with the remaining celebrities. As usual, no one says anything interesting except that they still really want to be there. Jason and Cristian declare that they are taking a temporary hiatus from their friendship, but only temporary.
Then a group of dancers performs a tribute to Michael Jackson's album "Thriller" that includes a performance by Omarion. I wonder, is there a more recognizable dance sequence, even to people who know nothing about dance or choreography, than the zombie dance sequence from the "Thriller" video? It's been referenced or mimicked or adapted in so many other videos or movies. I mean, there was even an homage in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I'm a little disappointed that they don't include a "Beat It" segment in the tribute, though. Wasn't that the biggest single off the album? Or was "Billie Jean" bigger? I, like many young girls of the era, was the BIGGEST Michael Jackson fan. You know how some people are all fired up about the New Kids reunion? Michael Jackson was my New Kids. Anyway, this was my favorite non-ballroom routine this season, by far.
Now it's time for the other kid couple, Jaryd and Cara, who won the 10 and under round. They feel famous after being on television, and then Maksim of all people came to help them in rehearsal. These guys must have been on the week I was on vacation, because I do not remember them at all. Jaryd and Cara do the samba, and there is nothing cuter than little Jaryd rolling his arms for the samba (and OMG, they're dancing to They Might Be Giants). Forget everything I said earlier about my strong stance against kids dancing competitively -- these two must win. Adorable. Sorry. I must be hormonal or something. Tom asks the kids for their autographs. Len tells them that he'd rather watch them than the grownup couples backstage. I kind of agree.
The final couple to compete is Brandon and Brittany from the 13-and-under round. Their celebrity coach is Ashly DelGrosso. They're dancing the paso doble this week. They are really incredible. REALLY incredible. Like I think they might be better than any pro couples dance we've seen this season. I get that they have longer to rehearse, but it was really astounding. The judges are stunned by the level of artistry. I'd love to see some video of Julianne when she was dancing competitively as a kid for comparison. I'm sure I could find it online somewhere, right, but it's not the same as when it's in HD on my television.
Samantha interviews the kids backstage, and if you think it's awkward when she talks to adults, imagine her talking to kids. The one funny part if she asks the teenagers who they would want to partner with if they were on the show. Brittany says she'd like Jesse McCartney and Brandon says he'd like any of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Really? Like, that's still a thing with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders? I thought that went out in the '80s.
Then there's a clip package where all of the celebrities talk about how awesome their competition is, and how the others will be really difficult to beat. And then they trash talk a little bit. Filler. Yawn.
Finally, it's time to learn who the first couple through to the finals will be. And that couple is...Kristi and Mark. I figured, since they weren't making a big deal about this being a shocking elimination. If Kristi were going to be eliminated, they would have been hyping that all over the place. After the break, we find out another couple that will dance in the finals, and it is... Jason and Edyta. Well, the judges must be happy, because they have seemed to favor a Jason/Kristi showdown all along.
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Tom points out that the remaining two couples are not necessarily the bottom two (although I kind of bet they are), and now it's time to find out who's going home. And the couple being eliminated is... Marissa and Tony. Marissa seemed to know it ahead of time in her heart, and doesn't seem all that devastated. Tony is all smiles too, and Tom points out that Tony has seemed happier this season. Is that a shot towards Jane? We watch a clip package of Marissa's journey -- the shrieking, the tears, and the additional shrieking. Finals week! See you then.
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