Last night, there was a disastrous group dance, and frankly, most of the couple dances were pretty terrible too, save for Kristi's and Mario's efforts. But tonight, we get to send one more couple packing, and it's all going to be LIIIIIIIVE!
After reviewing last night's routines, Tom asks Len what dance he would like to see again. To the surprise of no one, since everyone was already wearing their Western outfits, Len wants to see the group dance again. I think I forgot to mention last night that it was done to the tune of "Cotton-Eyed Joe" and suddenly I feel like I'm at a Yankee game. The whole routine is a bit less messy than last night, and thankfully they change the camera angle when Marissa is flipping over so we don't get an eyeful of her butt and thighs like we did last night. Mario and Karina's is still the best trick, especially since Jason and Edyta's is not nearly as smooth as last night. I did enjoy the interplay between Kristi and Jason. Jason is actually a decent actor!
Now Ashlee Simpson is here to perform. She doesn't sound like herself at all. She sounds like Gwen Stefani. Wow, her engagement ring is GIGANTIC! She's gotten much better at lip-synching since the SNL debacle.
Samantha and Tom recap the leader board from last night as we see each couple react. Shannon is SOBBING in her confessional and Derek calls her "honey" and asks why she's so upset. Shannon is more upset by the critique than the scores. She really needs to toughen up. Not just for this show, but for life. How does she work in Hollywood with that attitude? Her attitude should be, "Eff Carrie Ann. I know I can dance." I mean, it's not like she plans to be a professional dancer, so who cares?
It's time to reveal some results. The first couple that will be back week is...Shannon and Derek! Oh, thank God they revealed that first. I thought Shannon might have a nervous breakdown. The first couple that will be in the bottom two is...Marlee and Fabian. Well, no shocker there. Marlee kind of shrugs, which is the exact right reaction.
Backstage, Samantha asks Marlee how she hopes to deal with doing two dances week if she makes it through. Marlee says she totally will be up for whatever. Derek has a ton of lipstick kisses on his face and everyone laughs. Shannon apologizes for getting so heated last night, but explains that they have a lot of passion. Samantha snarks, "You can definitely see the passion." Samantha! With the quip! Unscripted!
So then Riverdance performs. I trust you're familiar with their work and thus know what that's all about. My only connection with Irish step dancing is that my kindergarten-aged nephew was trying to do it in music class and he apparently slipped and fell right on his head. He doesn't remember how it happened and the music teacher wasn't looking at the time. And then he threw up like three times but now he's fine. I asked him to do a reenactment and he wouldn't. Coordination: It runs in the family.
So now the little kids are dancing again. I really don't like the fact that they're competing. It's one thing for them to do it at real dance competitions in front of possibly thousands of people, but this is in front of millions of people. Actually, tonight's couple seems a little older, so it's not as weird. It's still weird, but it's not as weird. In the second couple, the boy is much shorter than the girl, but he claims to be a player. He clearly hasn't hit puberty yet, and she kind of has, so that looks a bit strange. It kind of looks like a woman dancing with a little boy. This whole thing just creeps me out. I hope they don't do the little kid competition season. I mean, it's better than the audience reaction bullshit segments, but not by much. So anyway, the mismatched couple gets sent home so we don't have to watch them anymore.
It's time for the judges to have their say. Len claims that the pressures on the judges are incredible. What's funny is that all of the celebrities have to be there early in the day for hair and makeup and the pretaped segments and all that, and the judges don't get there until right before the show airs. I heard Adam talking on his radio show about how in the first week, the men had to be there at like 1:00 PM and sit through the women's routines and all the lighting and rehearsals, for five hours. Meanwhile, the judges had stand-ins. Good planning, producers. Anyway, Len and Carrie Ann both talk about how difficult it is to watch the dances and take notes at the same time, because they don't want to look down and miss something. They also claim that their remarks aren't scripted, which is BS. I believe that they have a handful of comments pre-planned, but don't necessarily know which couple will get which remark. Especially Len and Bruno, who most often have the seemingly scripted crap. Carrie Ann seems to give more honest reactions, and tries to give each couple an idea of how they could improve. Carrie Ann jokes that they're like a married threesome, and she has two husbands who are both crazy. Len admits that he goes home sometimes and mulls over his scoring. Carrie Ann admits that she has overscored at times. Len concludes that their job is ultimately easier because they don't have the sword hanging over their heads each week.
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So who else is staying through to week? Marissa and Tony. How about one more couple? Christian and Cheryl. Wow. That means either Mario, Jason, or Kristi is in the bottom two.
Backstage, Marissa and Christian are interviewed with their partners. Christian can't even answer Samantha's questions because he's so overwhelmed with the idea of being safe. Marissa and Tony refuse to name anyone that they think should be going home this week. No one will talk to her, so Samantha tries to throw it back to Tom, at least until she realizes that she was supposed to throw it to commercial. Oops.
Okay, did anyone else get a quick glimpse of a screen that said, "The Mole was here" during that commercial break? I am so excited for that show to come back, I can't even tell you. I wish Anderson Cooper were hosting still, but I understand he's too big and fancy now.
Tom welcomes us back and it's time to reveal who else is in the bottom two. Kristi and Mark are safe. Jason and Edyta are also safe. Aw, Jason seemed really worried. He's really into this competition. Anyway, that means that Mario and Karina are in the bottom two.
Tom reminds Marlee and Fabian and Mario and Karina that one of them is going home. And going home is...Marlee and Fabian. Well, as I said in last night's weecap, it kind of seemed like it was time. Marlee was awesome, but she just couldn't keep up.
Samantha tries to interview Marlee, who thanks the judges and Fabian, as well as her family. She also thanks Henry Winkler for his support, and the fans. Fabian thanks Marlee for making his first season a great experience. Tom Bergeron says that he and Marlee have known each other for years, and he wants to step out of the host role and tell her that he's proud of her. Aw. Tom.
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