Sara M is off on vacation, mostly because she couldn't handle seeing what MJW squeezed herself into this week. Well, it's far from the worst thing she's worn. It's a black dress, which could have been slender and curvy, but the ever-present corset has been cinched even tighter for the semifinals, and her hair is bigger than ever.
The contestants are getting a makeover and a photo shoot for Life & Style magazine. What, People didn't want to do a feature on these contestants from a summer show that I am convinced is only watched by myself and Sara M because we're paid to? Anyway, the final four get glammed up. Alicia is the first post-makeover person we see, and she looks great. The before and after pictures are impressive. Ruben nearly has a heart attack when they give him a Hugo Boss suit to wear. He looks pretty amazing in it, so rightfully so. Shayla looks adorable in a little pink dress, and Pinky is wearing a size eight! Without a rib-crushing corset. Amazing! Then the reporters ask some lame questions about dancing backgrounds, and the fancified folks get their moment in front of the camera. They all look like they are having a blast.
The surprise for the final four was a visit from Nick Kosovich, a ballroom champion, for help with their Cha Chas and Viennese Waltzes. They all gush about how much they learned from him and whatever.
Back to MJW, who introduces the judges in their rhinestone egg. The dancers are performing randomly tonight. First up is Shayla with the Cha Cha. Because this is the semifinals, we have to watch a retrospective of their time on the show. It's a lot of clips that we've already seen and Sara's already recapped, so you can just fill in the blanks. She's lost a bunch of weight and she's not going to be fat again, is the basic gist of it.
She's cha-cha'ing to Britney Spears' "Gimme More" while wearing a tiger-print dress. It looks pretty smooth and has a few split tricks in it, but it looks like a cha cha should, more or less. Mayte thinks she needs to let go a little more. She gives her a 9. Lisa Ann throws out a bunch of technical terms for the dance and says that she executed it well, and she loved it. A 10! Shayla looks like she's about to hyperventilate. Danny says that she's free from her ball and chain (weight, not a significant other or anything) and that she's able to move like she always wanted to. Another 10! Her average is a 9.7.
on the floor is Alicia, but first we see her heart-to-heart with Dr. H, because she's confused about her body image, and doesn't know what to do when she's not as big. She says this is the person she's always wanted to be, but she's only halfway to her goal weight.
She's dancing the Viennese Waltz to "The Trouble With Love Is." Her movements look a little too big and cartoony as she flails her arms and swirls around, in my opinion. Mayte says that Alicia is beautiful no matter her size, and that she really loves the waltz (as a dance, not specifically the one that Alicia did). She says that she wanted more traveling, but it was beautiful, which amounts to a 7 in Mayte-world. Lisa Ann says that they didn't spend enough time in hold, so their lines were off. Another 7. Danny says it was beautiful but she lacked confidence. He applauds her passion. He gives her a 7. Which averages out at a 7. Easy math!
Ruben's on deck. His clip package focuses on him being old but still awesome. Then they show the footage of his partner visiting last week, just in case you missed it. He's doing the Cha Cha to "Waiting for Tonight," It's hammy, but well-done, with a lot of good-looking footwork and hip action. Mayte says that his dancing makes her flustered, then she does a sexy squeal. She then gripes that he's not on his toes as much, but gives him a 9. Lisa Ann says it was great, but it took too long to get going. She doles out an 8. Danny says he had good hip movement, and he loved it, so he grants a Ruben a 9. That puts Ruben at 8.7.
Pinky talks about how she got thin, and there's a ton of footage of her journey, and she says she's more confident now. She's dancing the Viennese Waltz to "I'll Be." She looks pretty in a dress that isn't very typically waltzy. It's hot pink with a big flower in the middle and black gloves. She looks good, but there was a little too much hugging for me. Mayte liked it and gives her a 9. Lisa Ann says they had great turns and hold and it was lovely. She gives her a 10. Danny said it was simple and elegant. Then he babbles for about 10 minutes about how he told her all the things that she needed to fix and she did, so he's awesome for his advice and he gives her a 10. Way to pat yourself on the back there, Danny. Pinky's average is a 9.7.
Now that they've all done a round of dancing, it's time for some filler. Guess what, it's Green Week and the contestants are going to help the earth. Meg the nutritionist has a gift for them -- reusable grocery bags. They freak out like it is gold. Yes, they say "Dance Your Ass Off" on them, but do they not realize they can get them for a dollar? Less if you use a coupon?
Then it's costume time, and we learn that this show is frugal! They've taken some old costumes and frankensteined them into new dresses. Alicia is the only one we see, which is a weird trend tonight. She was the only magazine interview we saw, and she had the longest clip package with her meeting with Dr. H. Highly suspicious. Methinks it means she's either the eventual winner, or she's going home, so they want to squeeze as many insanely enthusiastic faces out of her as they can before she goes.
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Back in the theater, MJW says that the last two contestants called, lost the least weight. So the first big loser is Alicia. And there's another clip package, with her working out and practicing and talking some more. She's doing the Cha Cha to "Can't Get You Outta My Head" and acting more goofy than sexy, but she dances it pretty well. Mayte says that she took control, and it was good. She gives her a 9. Lisa Ann says that she is cha cha, whatever that means, but it equals a 10. Danny calls her a comeback queen, and gives her a 10. Her average is 9.7 for this round, but 8.4 for both together. She loses 3.5 pounds, 1.62 percent of her body weight, which makes her total score a 10.02. She starts fake-crying when MJW tells her that she's lost 45 pounds so far.
up, and out of the bottom two is Ruben. He dances the Viennese Waltz to "Ordinary Day." I'm not a waltz expert, but he seems to glide around and keep his elbows up, and lifts his partner so easily. Mayte loved it! She gives him a 10. Lisa Ann says he committed to standard ballroom hold, though she wanted it to be a little bit bigger, so she gives him a 9. Danny says it had finesse, thinks it was perfectly sized and he loved it, so he gives it a 10. That averages out to a 9.7, and a 9.2 combined. He loses 7.1 lbs. Holy crap! That's impressive, at this point. It's 2.79 percent of his body weight. That gives him an 11.99 and puts him in the lead. He's lost 66.9 pounds so far, and his top score sends him straight to the finale.
MJW makes her sad face when she announces the bottom two. Pinky goes first with a Cha Cha to "Just Fine." She looks hot in a sparkly silver dress with lots of fringe. She's got some fun moves, but is working the sexy angle and not going for comedy like Alicia. Mayte wonders if Pinky's been sleeping with her heels on, because she's so strong on them, and she had great lines. Lisa Ann agrees and thinks that she's got the best upper body in the competition, although she does say she was a little stompy. Danny says that he's been a fan of hers from the beginning, but he didn't think she could actually win it... until now. She steps on the scale and she's lost 1.9 pounds, which is 1.17 percent of her body weight.
Shayla's last to dance, and her video package says she wants all 10s. She dances the Viennese Waltz to "Fallen" in an emerald green gown. It starts out weird with just some arms swinging from side-to-side, but she looks pretty elegant in hold. Mayte liked the swaying an arm movement, but she wanted more big moves. Lisa Ann says she was in good proper dance hold, but she wanted a little bit more actual waltz. Danny says that on paper it was great, but it was lacking passion. She's pretty much crying as she finds out that she lost 2.1 pounds, or 1.19 percent of her body weight. She does start smiling when she finds out she's lost more than 36 pounds.
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Alicia, Pinky and Shayla are on stage for the judges' scores. Shayla's scores are first. Mayte gave her an 8. Lisa Ann gave her a 9 and Danny gave her a 9, which is a total of 9.2, for an overall total of 10.39, which puts her above Alicia. She's ecstatic. Alicia... not so much.
Pinky needs more than 8.9. She gets a 9 from Mayte, a 9 from Lisa Ann. If Danny gave her a nine or better she's golden. Alicia is sobbing in the most unfortunate-looking way, with her mouth gaping. Pinky is just quietly crying. Danny blathers on and extends their torture a while, before revealing that he gave Pinky a 10. Alicia is wailing now, and is hyperventilating and making some truly pained noises. Guess I was right about her getting eliminated. MJW says so long, but Alicia can't put together a sentence. Being a true professional, MJW switches to the positive and tells Ruben he's the winner of the night and then says the words I'm happiest to hear, week is the Alicia-free finale. But who will torch the cheat cabinet Survivor-style now?
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see what other weight-loss reality shows we'd like to see!
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