By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 6
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.David's sister Katie brings Ellen the security deposit on the apartment she shared with David. Ellen wants to go back to the apartment one last time, but Katie tells her it's already all packed up and not to bother. Ellen goes back to her old apartment anyway, 'cause who listens to Katie? Her -door neighbor brought over a package that was delivered after she left. It was a present from David, but Ellen can't open it. Please don't be his head in a box! Please don't be his head in a box! Please, no. Katie doesn't have time to be annoyed at Ellen for ignoring her, because she has problems of her own. Her purse was stolen! And when she goes to report the crime, she recognizes a cop that followed her back in the good old Frobisher days and snaps his photo to show Ellen. Since it is the same dirty cop who murdered David, he doesn't take too kindly to her Ansel Adams turn. Dirty Cop No. 1 and Dirty Cop No. 2 (who is the other dirty cop who killed David and was working with Frobisher and is now working with Wes and last week earned the moniker Mr. Cheeseburger. That all clear now? Good.) make a plan for Katie's imminent demise. Maybe. They may have been ordering her an Edible Arrangement for all her trouble. Whatever the plan, it may have been slightly derailed when Mr. Cheeseburger shoots Dirty Cop no.1 in the back.
Meanwhile, it seems like everyone knows about the murder of Purcell's wife. Especially when Patty goes on Greta Van Susteren's show (talk about an ugly face off!) and tells the world that Kendrick did it. While Kendrick plans to ignore Patty's accusation (it's not slander if it's true!), Claire wants to sue the pantsuit off Miss Patty for her slanderous ways. After an encounter with Frobisher (at the opera, naturally), Kendrick changes his mind and files a 200-million-dollar suit against Patty. They come up with a settlement that will benefit Kendrick's West Virginia home, because despite all (burned, buried and banished) evidence to the contrary, Kendrick cares deeply about the environment. Patty is more than happy to settle because she has a plaintiff for her class action. That plaintiff? Arthur Frobisher. WTF?? I don't even want to know what devil's bargain was made to come up with that arrangement. Well... maybe I do.
Remember those offensive jokes at Kendrick's roast last week? Well, there may be more to his desire to kick the poop out of the guy delivering the lines than just the off-putting gay grandpappy jokes. Turns out Kendrick and Claire Maddox are more than just employer/employee, Claire gets employment benefits in the biblical sense. Don't say UNR doesn't know how to treat its employees. Although seeing Walter Kendrick naked isn't much of a perk in my book. Claire breaks it off with him, because, now (now?) it's getting too complicated. In a suspiciously magnaminous effort, Kendrick tries to set Claire up with a rich friend, but she seems more interested in the waiter.
Darrell Hammond is also on a mission. It involves numbers on a scrap of paper, a GPS, and a paid-in-cash vehicle bought by Lester. I'm sure he is just going to deliver teddy bears to orphans, right?
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously Ellen blamed herself for David's death, Purcell blamed himself for his wife's death, and Patty blamed herself for making her eyebrows look like that permanently.
Ellen is in her hotel suite (sweet!) and she and her bouncy bouncy ponytail scurry to answer the door. She and Katie are going to a movie and Katie has opted to wildly overdress. Seriously, who wears a mini dress, heels, and full makeup to a movie? You'll be in the dark, sweetheart. In her current incarnation Katie is currently looking a lot like Heather Locklear, but since she is probably only 25 and Heather Locklear is pushing 80, that is not necessarily a good thing. Katie wanted to come by early so she and Ellen could talk. That is never a good sign. Katie has the security deposit from Ellen and David's apartment and the news that her parents packed the entire place up. Ellen looks surprised because the lease wasn't up for another month and she sort of thought about going back to the apartment one last time. Good times! Katie encourages her not to take that particular trip down (bad) memory lane, but you can tell Ellen is going to ignore her.
Patty Hewes is staging a sit-in on the teevee with Greta Van Susteren. And it's not... pretty. Greta with her weird slant talk out the side of your mouth crooked talk gives Patty a soapbox (is bully pulpit the new soapbox? I keep seeing it in the news lately) for her random slander. Greta tells her audience that Patty came in with an axe to grind against Walter Kendrick and then she just lets Patty go. Patty talks about Kendrick's systematic destruction of the environment, his ability to shield himself from litigation, and how he murdered Christine Purcell to cover up Aricite. Greta just nods along as Patty slanders blindly. There are so many things wrong with this segment. I can't figure out why Greta Van Susteren's producers would have booked Patty on the show. First off, she has no news peg and without a book to sell or an enormous settlement to discuss lawyers don't usually make the talk show rounds. Secondly, Patty Hewes is strangely considered liberal and do-goodish, which is clearly not the mission of Fox News. Third, why would Fox News let Patty come on and outright slander and defame a deep pocketed, lawyered up, CEO of a multinational energy company who probably advertises on their show and is without a doubt a Republican? Why would they let her do that? I mean if NBC wouldn't let Al Gore pay for an ad on global warming, why would Fox allow this malarkey? This segment is dumb, so writers? Quit it. Enough with the Fox media crossovers.
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 6
Claire Maddox and Walter Kendrick meet over drinks to discuss the Patty situation. Since Claire demanded his assurance that he and Ultima National had nothing to do with Christine Purcell's murder, she wants to sue Patty for slander and defamation of character. She knows it is all a big lie. Kendrick, on the other hand, isn't so sure about that big lie thing. After a few random digs at Arthur Frobisher for dumping his own stock and getting caught, Kendrick puts Claire off, telling her to just wait Patty out and the whole thing will go away. Claire isn't going for it and Kendrick sips his Scotch as he flashes back seven weeks earlier. Kendrick sits in the back of a car and gets a call from Darrell Hammond. Darrell is wearing latex gloves and is calling from a well-lit room, which is most likely the Purcell house, but on this show it could be Wes's grandmother's parlor and we will find out in two weeks. Purcell asks if it's done yet and Darrell says no. Kendrick curses and Darrell asks what he would like done. Darrell nods as he receives his orders. Despite Claire's request that they sue, Kendrick isn't sure. Depending on where you sit, one of the best or worst things about the American legal system is that you can't sue for defamation if it's true.
Over at Hewes and Associates, trusty and forthright Tom is pestering Patty about why she would go on national television and call Walter Kendrick a murderer when she has no proof to back up her claims. Patty sighs. Didn't Tom just celebrate his ten years at the firm? Shouldn't he be used to her shenanigans by now? Patty clues him in that she wanted to make the fight personal. Shouldn't she just call Kendrick's mom ugly? Or borrow some material from that roaster last week? Patty asks Tom to work up a complete background on Claire Maddox. They need to know who they are up against.
Purcell is lying topless in bed while across the room Claire stands like a Cat on a Hot Tin Roof with one leg up on a chair as she attaches her thigh high pantyhose to a garter belt and looks like she walked off the page of a Tennessee Williams play, which is really taking it a tetch too far in my book. And, no, my book is not Suddenly, Last Summer. Claire asks Purcell if he knows what Patty is up to and Purcell explains that Patty is just flexing muscle now. Claire wants to know why Purcell never her told her about his past with Patty and Purcell gives her one of those bullshit "I was protecting you" lines that Claire doesn't like at all. He invites her up to the country this weekend, but she turns him down and then unexpectedly calls the whole thing off. She just can't make it work with him, it is all too complicated. Herm... wasn't it slightly more complicated when he was married? Maybe Claire is one of those poor unfortunate souls who is attracted to unavailability. Claire has finally put her leg down, but she is still channeling Maggie the Cat as she calls it off with Purcell. She doesn't look like Liz Taylor, though, in fact as she keeps fluffing her curls to the point of vertical and wears tight fitting, flared at the bottom dresses, and overly smoky eyes she most closely resembles Ursula the Sea Witch. Claire walks out, leaving Purcell lying in bed wondering whether he should have offed his wife if he was just going to get dumped by his girlfriend.
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 6
Ellen is feverishly pretending to work when her cell rings. It's Katie. She is at the police station because she was robbed (robbed!) and she wants Ellen to pick her up. While Katie is waiting to fill out useless forms (useless because she's not getting the purse back), she recognizes one of the cops. It was the guy who was following her during the Frobisher case. Unfortunately Katie is no Encyclopedia Brown and she gets busted snapping his picture with her cell phone. She takes the photo to Ellen and Ellen promises to get to the bottom of it.
Breaking news! I received an email from an astute watcher who filled me in on the fact that the FBI agent who is not Mario Van Peebles is actually Glenn Kessler, one of the writers of the show. I guess I could have figured that out if I had pored over the IMDB entry for the show, but, no. So Mario Van Peebles and Glenn (so much more concise) sit in a car and Glenn yammers at his wife some more. The set up for that scenario is so over the top that I am starting to doubt its actuality. There is no way that they will actually make him be a dirty paid-to-kill agent with all this build up is there? Glenn finally hangs up, much to everyone's relief, as Ellen gets into the car. She needs the FBI to look into the cop for her. The agents look at each other and then at Ellen and then say no, in unison. Ellen whines, why? Because they're not your bitch, bitch! The Feds aren't at her beck and call because their case is against Patty and, well, they don't like Ellen enough to do her a favor. Ellen calls bullshit as she gets out of the car. That meeting would have made a great phone call.
Ellen then goes to Patty with pictures of the dirty cop. Patty sighs that it is no wonder the police have made no progress on David's murder what with bad cops doing the dirty work. Ellen then reminds Patty that she promised she would help her get back at Frobisher for David's death. Patty agrees that all of the firm's resources (the fax machine, the coffeemaker, and the rolodex) are at Ellen's disposal.
Dirty Cop no. 2 meets up with Dirty Cop no. 1 (last week's Mr. Cheeseburger) in a vacant lot in the shadow of the Manhattan Bridge, so it must be in the Brooklyn Navy Yard? Not important. Dirty Cop tells Mr. Cheeseburger (every time I write that I think of Mayor McCheese from McDonald's and then I get sort of hungry, which says a lot for McDonald's advertising imprinting) that Katie saw him at the police station. Mr. Cheeseburger is troubled because the fact that Katie snapped a picture of Dirty Cop isn't a big deal by itself, but that Kodak moment in conjunction with Ellen meeting with the Feds, amounts to a whole pile of poo. Dirty Cop wants to know what to do, but Mr. Cheeseburger tells him not to do anything. He'll take care of it.
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 6
Lester a.k.a. Dave a.k.a. Lester is in the market for a new ride. He is at the dealership eyeballing a slick Cadillac Escalade. I know it is a Cadillac because the camera lingers on the front end of the car so long that SAG is calling to make sure it joins the union. Lester is looking sharp in a wool plaid suit. He asks the salesman if the car comes with GPS and the salesman gives him all the details in exquisite car talk language. Lester looks a moment longer and then says he'll take it. No, he doesn't want a test drive. And he'll pay the sticker price, too, in cash. Yeah, that's not suspicious at all. As if realizing how obviously strange that must sound to a guy who hawks American cars for a living, Lester suavely claims that the car practically sells itself. The salesman isn't buying it for a second, but manages to not snicker, 'cause, hey, a commission is a commission. Later Lester parks the Cadillac in the middle of the street (more of an alley, really) shuts the door and walks away. Hmm I wonder what that is all about?
Ellen is sitting at the feet of the great Patty Hewes as she lectures to her young apprentice (yeah, that's a Star Wars reference, what of it?) about how the UNR murder merger doesn't make financial sense. Ellen opines that if Kendrick overpaid then he must have a way of making the money back. Patty nods, but looks really distracted. I can't figure out why Patty lets Ellen talk. Maybe Patty just needs a sounding board as she connects the dots and if nothing else Ellen can act at least as well as a board. Patty needs to figure out how Kendrick is going to make his money back. She looks very pensive as she says it and is staring into the distance. Ellen pulls her back to the room by asking if she is concerned about the Feds. Patty knows to be discrete, but she is in the mood for a fight. I'm in the mood for a cheeseburger, myself. Cheeseburger cheeseburger cheeseburger. Now I'm in the mood for old SNL. Thank god for Hulu.
Walter Kendrick is staring at an abstract painting with his arms crossed and his legs spread. Lester comes up and stands in exactly the same position to him. Kendrick tells him that the merger has gone through. Lester asks him if he is ready and when Kendrick says yes, he hands him the keys to the Cadillac. Lester opines that he prefers paintings he understands: foxes, hounds, bugles. Abstract paintings look all the same to him. Kendrick nods that in this case he is right, the piece of shit painting isn't worth the canvas it's painted on. Geez, everyone's a critic! I can't help but wonder if the only reason that scene is in here is because Marcia Gay Harden won her Oscar for Pollock and this is some self-referential slap and tickle.
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 6
Walter and some one-sleeved blonde trophy girl wander into the lobby during the ballet's intermission. Nice how this episode is really revealing Walter Kendrick's cultural side. I was concerned that he was one-dimensional. One dimension of evil! But, no that hellfire and brimstone is just one facet of the deep character development that went into Walter Kendrick. You know, I've almost forgotten that he was Deputy Commissioner Rawls? Lester will most likely always be Lester, though. The blonde excuses herself to the bar (she is a WASP after all) and despite promising the lady that he won't smoke, Kendrick pulls out a cigar. His evil plot to smoke and thus lead countless children down the path of smoking, fornication, and sin, is foiled by none other than Arthur Frobisher, who has pulled himself out of his near-death slump and looks rather spry and chipper and clean shaven. He introduces himself to Kendrick, reminding him that they met at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland and giggles about Musharraf not shutting up. And talk about not shutting up, dude, you're name-dropping Musharraf? Shut! Up! Kendrick obviously has no love lost for the guy (as his earlier comments to Claire made clear), but getting in the way of a man's smoke break is unforgivable. As Kendrick silently tucks his cigar back in his pocket, Frobisher does the corporate rich white guy small talk thing of making lewd comments about women. That shit never stops being funny. Frobisher tries to make manly anti-ballet comments, but Kendrick loves his Balanchine and only comes to the city for the culture. Frobisher asks after the merger and apologizes for the dip in stock price, but Kendrick still won't bite the bullet and make actual small talk. Frobisher wants to know what he did to Patty to piss her off so much, but Kendrick has never even met Patty. Frobisher warns him about getting in the ring with Patty and that he should just "bend over and take it," but his actual words were much more x-rated than that. As the bells chime, indicating that intermission is over, Frobisher heads back to his seat. He might be limping. Kendrick pulls out his phone and calls Claire. He tells her to "sue the bitch." Nice after bedtime language use this episode. Yowza. Quick point of clarification or rather I need a clarification: Did Kendrick heed Frobisher's warning? Or did he totally ignore his words? Is the fact that he is suing Patty an indication that he is playing hardball? Or that he is bending over and taking it? I'm going with it meaning that he is ignoring Frobisher's warning and going head to head with Patty.
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 6
Over at Hewes, Tom is giving Patty the rundown on Claire Maddox. Duke Law School, Supreme Court clerkship, two years at a white collar law firm and then hand-picked by Kendrick for UNR's legal team. Patty lets the information sink in. She has her feet up on the desk and is sipping a glass with about three fingers of Scotch or bourbon or distilled unicorn embryos (whatever it takes to stay young!) and while I admire a woman who drinks, I do think it is odd that she is full on drinking at work while the sun is still out. You can clearly see that it is daylight out the window and even though she is the boss and can do whatever she wants, you have to ask whether she should be. I mean this isn't Mad Men. Tom fills in more details: Kendrick championed Claire's career and now she is the only woman on the legal team and she is vice president to boot. Also, there are the requisite rumors of a relationship between the two (unsubstantiated, of course). Tom then changes tack and circles back to the conversation they already had about the soundness of a legal strategy that involves calling Kendrick a murderer on national television. But, since Patty's assault on UNR is personal, I mean, they aren't representing anyone but Patty's ego at this point, it really doesn't matter what strategy she takes on. Patty claims that she is trying to drive down the UNR stock price. Further discussion is delayed when Patty is served with papers that inform her that she is being sued by UNR/Walter Kendrick for $200 million dollars for defamation of character. $200 million? I know his ego is big, but is his good name really worth $200 million?
Ellen unlocks the door to her and David's apartment. As she steps in and sees the boxes the haunted crazy music starts up. She finds a picture of her and David and walks through the apartment holding it. She is flashing back to all their good times together. And the bad. She runs to shut the bathroom door before the bad memories get out. As she rushes away from the bad mojo, she is startled by a guy standing in the hallway. It is the president of the coop board. He is so familiar, but I cannot place him. I know he played some creepy bad guy who was maybe a child molester? Maybe a child murderer? Was it on Law & Order: Perverts? Hmm. That is totally going to bother me. Anyway the ex-child murderer makes his apologies about David, but has a package for Ellen. David had it delivered to the building, but never got a chance to pick it up. Seems he was busy being bludgeoned. Ellen takes the bag and inside is a carefully wrapped box with a card. The note says that as soon as the Frobisher case is done, David is going to taker her somewhere in the sun. It may not have rhymed though. Ellen doesn't open the box, but it is too small to be David's head or something else ominous. By the way, Ellen's dress in this scene is a super clingy grey satiny concoction that does nothing but accentuate her incredibly bony hips, which is not a good thing. Ellen, have you thought about eating a cheeseburger? 'Cause I have.
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 6
Tom is defending Patty in her defamation suit. The law works very quickly in Damages land. They didn't even give us a title saying "nine months later" or anything so we can only assume they are in court the day after Patty received notice. And even though it looks like they are in court-ordered settlement talks or mediation, it is still incredibly unlikely that even someone as illustrious as Patty Hewes could get into court that quickly. Regardless of realism, Tom and Patty sit across the table from Claire and Kendrick. Sorry, I just can't get myself to call him Walt. Do you call the devil Beezel? No, you do not. Tom claims that Patty believes her statements are true and that is an absolute defense to defamation. I am so not looking that up in Westlaw, so feel free to disagree and provide citations. Claire is having none of it and reminds the mediator that Patty called her client a murderer despite the actual perpetrator of the crime being incarcerated. Tom clarifies that Patty doesn't think Kendrick committed the crime, but he did commission it. And, the guy who was incarcerated, Kevin Walker, was murdered in jail. Claire counters that Kendrick was never questioned by the police and is not a suspect in any of the crimes. It is funny for how legal this show is, how extra-legally they function. Patty is not working with the police or the district attorney to tie Kendrick to these murders or witness tampering or blackmail, she is just a one-woman vigilante squad. The mediator asks Patty what she thinks of all this and Patty simply defers to her attorney, which is so slick that even Claire smiles. The mediator wants them to come up with a settlement. Tom wants Claire to remember that their only defense to a defamation suit is to prove that the allegation is true, which means a murder investigation. Claire doesn't even blink but instead reminds Tom that if they can't tie Kendrick to Christine Purcell's murder they will have to pay $200 million. Oh I doubt that. You know Patty could come up with reasonable doubt or whatever the standard is. The mediator thinks they all have shown ample incentive to come to terms. On opposite sides of the table, Patty and Kendrick start a staring contest.
Patty knocks on Ellen's office door and invites her to eat. Oh look they are in the same conference room as last time. That's a nice change of pace for this show. Unfortunately the one time they don't switch conference rooms is when they insist on sitting in the room with the ghastly wallpaper. The red brick, black spray paint, and white Grecian columns are truly hideous. Honestly, how can they eat in the same room as that wallpaper? The girls daintily pick away at their Chinese food and, oh look, beer. At work! I obviously worked in the wrong offices. Ellen says that David used to do most of the cooking and Patty counters with the fact that Phil is out of town. Ellen responds with a question about Phil being gone all the time and it being hard, and Patty simply stares at her impertinence and turns back to her kung pao shrimp. If Patty isn't going to talk to Ellen, why did she ask to eat with her? Oh who cares, shut up and drink! Ellen asks if UNR's defamation suit is serious and Patty assures her that Kendrick is always serious. Is he seriously fun at parties? I think last week's urinal episode would say no. Ellen wonders what Kendrick is up to, but Patty has no idea. Cut to Kendrick in the back of a car. He rolls down the window and hands Darrell Hammond a slip of paper with three numbers on it. He tells Darrell to use the keys. It's scenes like that one that make me wish I had the entire season on DVD so I could watch them all and find out what happens .
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 6
Katie is pissed that Ellen told Patty about the cop who was following her. How many times does she have to tell her that cops can't be trusted, especially when it is a cop you are complaining about? Ellen knows that Katie doesn't like and/or trust Patty, but she has resources they can use to track the guy down. Ellen then sighs or something and Katie asks her what's wrong. Ellen tells her about going back to the apartment and receiving David's package. That sounds dirty, but you know what I mean. Ellen is carrying the box around, but can't get herself to open it.
Claire goes to find Kendrick. She knows what Patty might be up to. She thinks Patty made her accusations to drive the stock price down, tick off the shareholders, and then file a shareholder suit against Kendrick. Claire thinks they should settle and make her retract her statements before she can find a plaintiff. Kendrick isn't having it. Patty picked the fight and now she can play ball. Claire urges him to settle for a reasonable sum, let everything cool off and then go about his business. She looks him squarely in the eyes as she asks him if he really want Patty in his dirty laundry. Kendrick promises an answer by dessert and, yes, that was a dinner invitation. Claire is unimpressed, but agrees to go.
Somewhere under the Manhattan bridge Katie is nervously smoking outside the Internal Affairs Board and/or the Civilian Complaint Board, which are helpfully in the same building (kind of like those joint KFC/Taco Bell franchises, which are a stoner/pregnant lady's godsend. Biscuit, wings, and a chalupa? Why yes, thank you.) But here if a cop is worried at all about his untoward behavior towards the universe/the ladies/minorities/kittens being reported, he can just stake out the one convenient location on the off chance that a universalist lady or a chicano kitten is either reporting him to the Civilian Complaint Board or IA is starting an investigation on him. That seems to be the case here at any rate. Either that or Mr. Cheeseburger is omniscient and hence omnipresent. Or Katie is one unlucky lady. Because Mr. Cheeseburger is just sitting there watching her. Anyway Katie finally gets around to littering and makes her way inside the building; she is watched by Mr. Cheeseburger. Flash to four months in the future and Mr. Cheeseburger is now watching Ellen. He follows her into the hotel, gets off on the 19th floor, and goes to stand outside the infamous and often photographed room 1910. He uses a key card and a lot of ominous mouth pursing to open the door. He slips inside the room.
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 6
At dinner, Walter Kendrick stands up to meet his lawyer, who is of course Claire. The twosome kiss hello despite having seen each other mere hours before and then stand extremely close together as Kendrick points Claire to her seat, which is over near rich White Guy no. 2. Obviously it's a set up. As Kendrick takes a momentary break from the table, the waiter delivers White Guy no. 2's drink. Except it's the wrong one! Claire and White Guy no. 2 tag team in bitch slapping the waiter back to busser. After working up a sweat (what with all the piledrivers, montreal screwjobs, and spikes), Claire excuses herself to go stretch her legs. Who does that during dinner? How rude to excuse yourself for a walk between courses. What, is she going to go hit the gym if they don't mind ordering dessert for her? Claire wanders through the restaurant and runs in to Kendrick who is sitting drinking at the bar. These people are crazy! You host a dinner party (albeit at a restaurant, but I am pretty sure the same rules apply) and take a break for a private drink at the bar? What do you think your guests are doing? And if you don't want to be there, don't you think everyone else wants to go home, too? Kendrick asks Claire what she thinks of White Guy no. 2 and she is noncommittal. She promises to give the guy a chance only if Kendrick will give her an answer about the lawsuit. UNR's stock price is still falling. Kendrick agrees to let her settle. Um, guys? Are you going back to your table now?
Katie sits on Ellen's couch and fidgets like her life depends on it. She tells Ellen that she filed a complaint with the police department. Ellen can't believe she is so stupid as to trust the police. Katie points out that Ellen hasn't done anything to help her. Ellen pulls out a file on the guy and tells Katie what she knows. Which isn't much. Katie is unimpressed, but Ellen swears that Patty will be able to connect the guy to Frobisher. At the mention of the P word Katie gets agitated. She tells Ellen that she doesn't understand the attraction between her and Patty. But she does know that if Ellen had never met Patty, David would be alive. You would expect that comment to crush Ellen, but it appears that these two are secretly engaging in a contest to see who can use the fewest facial expressions in one scene. Loser gets wrinkles! Ellen swears she knows what she is doing with Patty, but these things are way over the troglodytic Katie's head. Strangely, Katie takes offense at that and then calls Ellen a lawyer, which is really hitting below the belt. When Ellen retorts that Katie should leave the hard stuff to people with grown up jobs, Katie tells her to go to hell and walks out. I'm not sure who won that contest, ladies, because you both suck butt at the acting.
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 6
Claire Maddox needs to invest in some regular pantyhose. Once again she is fiddling with her thigh high and reattaching her garter. She asks her guest to come zip her up. It's the waiter from the restaurant. I guess Claire owed him a tip. She pulls out a pack of cigarettes and the waiter is surprised. Claire informs him that she only smokes one, at the end of every day. Besides, she works at UNR -- you know she had some evil in her. Why not show it through smoking? The waiter offers to light it and she says no thanks, because she smokes alone. She walks out of the apartment and it is hard to tell whether they went to his place or whether she smokes outside her own apartment. Both scenarios seem unlikely because the apartment was huge and judging from the outside, it is in Soho and there is no fucking way that a waiter (a bad waiter, to boot) can afford a huge apartment in Soho. Unless he is a trustfund baby who waits tables for fun, because picking up strangers' dirty plates is a hoot! Claire sits on the stoop and blows smoke. Cut to the Cadillac, which is still parked on the rainy night in the alley-like street. Darrell Hammond gets in the car and types a number into the GPS. The coordinates are from the piece of paper that Kendrick gave him. Still no idea what the heck is going on there.
Back in court, Tom and Claire argue about numbers for a settlement. When they reach five, Kendrick yells stop. Five million to his favorite charity will suffice to ease the damage done to his sterling reputation. Patty asks what the charity is and Claire answers, "The NRA." Patty, stone faced as ever, stares blankly as the room gets very quiet. Kendrick starts chuckling and laughs that the money will actually go to a West Virginia environmental group, which is quite funny, too, but no one laughs. Patty and Tom exit the fake, but pretty courthouse they always use for New York-based legal dramas and Patty opines that she is so happy to have given $5 million to charity. How rich are these people? And does the firm have to pick up that tab? Can we get a tax lawyer up in here to answer these questions? Patty and Tom giggle over the low-ball settlement. They know that the only reason Kendrick and UNR were willing to settle was to avoid any further drop in stock price and make it harder for Patty to find a lead plaintiff for her class action suit. They giggle some more and Tom smirks, "Too late!" Cut back to Claire and Kendrick leaving the courtroom. They are stopped by a process server who hands Claire a document. You got served! Patty is suing them on behalf of a major UNR stockholder. Claire almost looks impressed with the cojones on Patty. Cut back to Patty at an office. She is thanking her new client for his discretion. Who is the new client? Arthur Fuckin' Frobisher. What the hell, show? That's just crazy talk. Patty thanks him for his discretion because she didn't want to out their relationship yet to her coworkers (read: Ellen). She then thanks Frobisher for his "little tete-a-tete" with Kendrick, which she thinks pushed Kendrick over the edge. That talk at the ballet was planned? Wow. I am not nearly conspiracy-theory minded enough. Frobisher reminds Patty that they are not friends. He is willing to work with her (for god knows what reason) but it is for his own ends. Patty is okay with that. Mostly.
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 6
Ellen and her unopened present call Katie. David's gift is in the front of the shot for the entire scene. Ellen apologizes and really wants to talk. She almost opens the box, but a call from Patty derails her. Patty apparently invites Ellen over for a pajama party, because the scene is Ellen at Patty's pad sipping tea and talking business. Patty tells her that they found a plaintiff. She doesn't say who it is though. Patty asks after Katie. Ellen says she's fine and Patty adds that she hopes the policeman leads back to Frobisher. I'm not sure what this scene was meant to accomplish aside from confusing me. Is Patty still out to get Frobisher? Or is she willing to undermine Ellen's investigation to get to Kendrick?
Dirty Cop no. 2 and Mr. Cheeseburger meet in an alley to discuss their little problem. Mr. Cheeseburger assures Dirty Cop no. 2 that if the Civilian Review Board kicks the complaint upstairs he has friends in Internal Affairs who can make the case disappear. They both agree that doesn't entirely make the problem vanish. They have different ideas on how to resolve that situation, though. Dirty Cop no. 2 seems to think that they should take out Katie (yeah, I vote for that one!), but Mr. Cheeseburger is pretty sure he should just shoot Dirty Cop no. 2 in the back and then in the chest. He wins! Flashback to the incredibly graphic Death of David and Mr. Cheeseburger assuring Frobisher that there is nothing from David's death that can be traced back to him. Jump ahead four months and Mr. Cheeseburger is inside Ellen's hotel room. Ellen hears the door click and shouts, presumably from the bathroom, "Wes, is that you?" Mr. Cheeseburger puts a silencer on his gun and tiptoes off to find Ellen. Really wish I could put in the disk and find out what happens . Damn you show! Stop being good.
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