Episode Report Card LuluBates: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Abundans Cautela Non Nocet
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 6
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.David's sister Katie brings Ellen the security deposit on the apartment she shared with David. Ellen wants to go back to the apartment one last time, but Katie tells her it's already all packed up and not to bother. Ellen goes back to her old apartment anyway, 'cause who listens to Katie? Her next-door neighbor brought over a package that was delivered after she left. It was a present from David, but Ellen can't open it. Please don't be his head in a box! Please don't be his head in a box! Please, no. Katie doesn't have time to be annoyed at Ellen for ignoring her, because she has problems of her own. Her purse was stolen! And when she goes to report the crime, she recognizes a cop that followed her back in the good old Frobisher days and snaps his photo to show Ellen. Since it is the same dirty cop who murdered David, he doesn't take too kindly to her Ansel Adams turn. Dirty Cop No. 1 and Dirty Cop No. 2 (who is the other dirty cop who killed David and was working with Frobisher and is now working with Wes and last week earned the moniker Mr. Cheeseburger. That all clear now? Good.) make a plan for Katie's imminent demise. Maybe. They may have been ordering her an Edible Arrangement for all her trouble. Whatever the plan, it may have been slightly derailed when Mr. Cheeseburger shoots Dirty Cop no.1 in the back.
Meanwhile, it seems like everyone knows about the murder of Purcell's wife. Especially when Patty goes on Greta Van Susteren's show (talk about an ugly face off!) and tells the world that Kendrick did it. While Kendrick plans to ignore Patty's accusation (it's not slander if it's true!), Claire wants to sue the pantsuit off Miss Patty for her slanderous ways. After an encounter with Frobisher (at the opera, naturally), Kendrick changes his mind and files a 200-million-dollar suit against Patty. They come up with a settlement that will benefit Kendrick's West Virginia home, because despite all (burned, buried and banished) evidence to the contrary, Kendrick cares deeply about the environment. Patty is more than happy to settle because she has a plaintiff for her class action. That plaintiff? Arthur Frobisher. WTF?? I don't even want to know what devil's bargain was made to come up with that arrangement. Well... maybe I do.
Remember those offensive jokes at Kendrick's roast last week? Well, there may be more to his desire to kick the poop out of the guy delivering the lines than just the off-putting gay grandpappy jokes. Turns out Kendrick and Claire Maddox are more than just employer/employee, Claire gets employment benefits in the biblical sense. Don't say UNR doesn't know how to treat its employees. Although seeing Walter Kendrick naked isn't much of a perk in my book. Claire breaks it off with him, because, now (now?) it's getting too complicated. In a suspiciously magnaminous effort, Kendrick tries to set Claire up with a rich friend, but she seems more interested in the waiter.
Darrell Hammond is also on a mission. It involves numbers on a scrap of paper, a GPS, and a paid-in-cash vehicle bought by Lester. I'm sure he is just going to deliver teddy bears to orphans, right?
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously Ellen blamed herself for David's death, Purcell blamed himself for his wife's death, and Patty blamed herself for making her eyebrows look like that permanently.
Ellen is in her hotel suite (sweet!) and she and her bouncy bouncy ponytail scurry to answer the door. She and Katie are going to a movie and Katie has opted to wildly overdress. Seriously, who wears a mini dress, heels, and full makeup to a movie? You'll be in the dark, sweetheart. In her current incarnation Katie is currently looking a lot like Heather Locklear, but since she is probably only 25 and Heather Locklear is pushing 80, that is not necessarily a good thing. Katie wanted to come by early so she and Ellen could talk. That is never a good sign. Katie has the security deposit from Ellen and David's apartment and the news that her parents packed the entire place up. Ellen looks surprised because the lease wasn't up for another month and she sort of thought about going back to the apartment one last time. Good times! Katie encourages her not to take that particular trip down (bad) memory lane, but you can tell Ellen is going to ignore her.
Patty Hewes is staging a sit-in on the teevee with Greta Van Susteren. And it's not... pretty. Greta with her weird slant talk out the side of your mouth crooked talk gives Patty a soapbox (is bully pulpit the new soapbox? I keep seeing it in the news lately) for her random slander. Greta tells her audience that Patty came in with an axe to grind against Walter Kendrick and then she just lets Patty go. Patty talks about Kendrick's systematic destruction of the environment, his ability to shield himself from litigation, and how he murdered Christine Purcell to cover up Aricite. Greta just nods along as Patty slanders blindly. There are so many things wrong with this segment. I can't figure out why Greta Van Susteren's producers would have booked Patty on the show. First off, she has no news peg and without a book to sell or an enormous settlement to discuss lawyers don't usually make the talk show rounds. Secondly, Patty Hewes is strangely considered liberal and do-goodish, which is clearly not the mission of Fox News. Third, why would Fox News let Patty come on and outright slander and defame a deep pocketed, lawyered up, CEO of a multinational energy company who probably advertises on their show and is without a doubt a Republican? Why would they let her do that? I mean if NBC wouldn't let Al Gore pay for an ad on global warming, why would Fox allow this malarkey? This segment is dumb, so writers? Quit it. Enough with the Fox media crossovers.