By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 2
In the Grainy-Bloody Future, we are once again introduced to the sight of David Connor's bloody corpse in his bathtub. This time, though, we're on the POV of that pigeon that flew out of the bathroom when Detective Williams opened the door, and before that happened, our feathered friend strutted past a spiky, metal object of some kind, lying on the bathroom floor and covered in blood and hair. Looks like David got brained, literally, by this thing.
In the comparatively placid present ("6 Months Earlier"), Ellen's celebrating her birthday with family and friends (her aunt and uncle give her a gift certificate to The Olive Garden, which I particularly find perfectly parental and sweet, though I'm more bullish on The Olive Garden than most). Katie's there, but she's looking distracted and troubled. When there's a lull, Ellen tries to calm her down. Katie says Frobisher's people call three times a day, and every time she closes her eyes, she sees Saffron dead on the floor. Ellen reminds her that she meets with Patty tomorrow, and she'll know what to do. You mean beyond murdering Katie's dog and pinning it on Frobisher? She probably does.
David pokes his head into the kitchen to get Ellen back out to the party, but while she has them there, Katie wants to give Ellen her present: a pair of Statue of Liberty bookends. Man, those spiky crowns on Lady Liberty's head sure do look familiar. And indeed, we peer back into the Grainy-Bloody Future to see that the blood- and hair-covered instrument of David's demise was indeed one of the bookends. So ... maybe not the best birthday present ever.
Credits.
Patty's in her sparsely-appointed apartment, lusting after some jewelry on QVC, when Tom comes calling. He's getting kind of restless, what with pretending to be fired and all, but it's all according to plan. Not that Tom is privy to any more of the plan than he needs to know. Patty just hands him his advance, then asks him if Ellen's tried to contact him since their meeting at the stables. She hasn't, but Patty likes that Ellen trusts Tom. She'd like to exploit that. I was about to say I'd love to see what this lady could do in the Big Brother house, but I'm fairly certain no one would come out alive. So ... I guess I would love to see what she'd do in the Big Brother house. "Run into her again," Patty suggests. She wants Tom to come into Hewes Co. -- under the guise of cleaning out his office (I love how this all has the added benefit of reminding Tom what it would be like to get fired for real) -- and strike up a conversation with Ellen. "Work the relationship," she says, then manipulates the tea in her mug so that it leaps into her mouth without her lips having to touch ceramic.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 2
At the palatial Frobisher estate, Arthur is having breakfast poolside when his wife, Holly, sits down and starts passive-aggressively bitching about how shitty it is to have a nationally-recognized corporate criminal for a husband. Their kids get harassed at school, their shopping budget gets printed in the papers, photographers crash into her car. Arthur's clearly heard this before, if his weary "I know, I know" reaction is any indication. He says they have to ignore the press and keep on with their heads high. Holly's more interested in making the case go away -- she wants Arthur to offer the plaintiffs more money. "How much?" he asks. "One billion? Two billion? Why don't I just let you write out the check." Holly balks at that one (I would've called his bluff on $1 billion -- it's half of what they have, but I suppose I could learn to make do on a billion dollars) and simply reiterates that Arthur "promised" her. One of Frobisher's domestic help, "Ricky," shows up with a skillet full of omelet. Arthur takes one look at it, then offers it to Ricky because he's not hungry. He pauses, then tells Ricky, on second thought, to pick the peppers out and feed it to the dogs. "They'll love it." Wow, if you weren't pulling to Patty to take Frobisher down before. Holly continues her parade of passive-aggression, running down her schedule for the week and ignoring Arthur's promises that he's doing all he can. "I heard you," she finally says. "What do you want me to say?" Much as I'd like to feel sorry for Holly's screwed-up life, or even for Arthur and his bitchy spouse, it's like 85 degrees here and that pools looks effing awesome, so they can both go fuck themselves.
At Hewes Co., Patty tells Ellen she was talking about her last night. In a remarkable show of restraint, which you can tell impresses Patty, Ellen declines to ask for details. So Patty provides them anyway: "All good things." Patty then invites Ellen to sit in on the client meeting, wherein Larry is apparently still trying to push for a settlement, despite the new development of Katie's deposition. Patty assures them that Frobisher is praying they'll settle and that the offer isn't going anywhere. Patty just wants time to find out what Katie knows and see if she can find a smoking gun.
Frobisher meets with Ray Fiske and learns that Katie Connor has neither signed the confidentiality agreement nor been to her restaurant in a week. Arthur's dismayed by this news, but right now he's more concerned about Holly. Specifically, he's worried about what will happen if she divorces him. Well, Ray says, besides the check he'll have to cut her for half his fortune, not to mention custody of the kids, it'll also be a public relations disaster for the case, and right now, Frobisher needs all the public goodwill he can get. You know, maybe this makes me a bad person, but I'm thinking why wouldn't Holly divorce him now, before any kind of verdict crippled his net worth? Get while you can, lady! Anyway, Ray says their case, on the merits and on the law, is water-tight. But if Patty gets Katie in front of a jury, "all bets are off."
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 2
At Hewes Co., Ellen greets Katie, who's there for her deposition. Katie stresses that she only saw Frobisher two or three times during the whole weekend. Ellen says that's fine, Patty just wants to see if there's any little thing she can tell them that contradicts any testimony Frobisher's made. Ellen's called away to a meeting by one of her fellow associates, an impatient, purple-tied douche named Andrew. Felicia leads the meeting, saying that Patty wants them all to re-prep their clients. Andrew thinks it's a shit idea, since poking around in their wounds will only make them more eager to settle. Patty, passing by, is incredulous and asks if anyone else wants to weigh in. She asks Ellen point-blank, and she says that, quite the opposite, talking about losing their jobs and their pensions can only serve to stir up their emotion and strengthen their resolve. After a bit of a stare-down from Patty, Andrew concedes that there's some value in that, and Patty has the associates divide up the clients for interviews. She tells Ellen to shadow Andrew. "Now?" Ellen asks, clearly thinking of Katie's upcoming interview.
And, in fact, Katie's currently freaking out that Ellen has to leave. At least one person is in the right frame of mind and scared to death to be in a room alone with Patty.
Ellen and Andrew walk to their car, and Andrew starts working on her. He tells her that with Tom gone, she's lost the one person at the firm who had her back. Everyone else is just looking out for themselves, and if Ellen keeps showing them (read: him) up in front of Patty like that, she's not going to win many friends. Ellen, quite sensibly, says that Patty called on her specifically, but Andrew's desperately trying to throw what little weight he has around. "The only way you're going to make it here is with our support," he says. Ellen stresses that she was just answering a question and has no agenda. Andrew suggests she get one. Ellen's not going to be Patty's closest link to a star witness forever, after all. Andrew gets in the car, no doubt leaving an oil slick a foot wide in his wake.
Back inside, Patty is putting Katie at ease with some conversation about Food Network and olive oil, and then as soon as Katie's good and comfortable, Patty thanks her for her time and says she can leave. Katie's confused -- she thought she was going to go over her timeline from Florida. Patty says she doesn't really see the point, then poses a nonsequiter: "How old were you?" At this point, Katie can't tell her ass from her elbow, so Patty clarifies, "I had just turned six...when I found out I was a good liar. How old were you?" Katie sputters some more, and Patty finally says that she doesn't buy Katie's timeline, and unless she's going to tell her the truth, Katie's of no use to her. Katie protests that she's telling her everything she knows; Patty thinks she's full of shit. "They want me to sign a confidentiality agreement," Katie says, panicking. "What should I do?" Patty, again, could give a shit. "Do whatever you want, sign it." Katie says she thought Patty was going to protect her from the Frobisher camp. "Until you stop lying," says Patty, "you're not my witness and you're not my problem." She walks away, not responding to Katie's rather pathetic pleading.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 2
Grainy-Bloody Future. Ellen and David's apartment is crawling with cops and crime-scene investigators. Detectives Williams and Ortiz present the case thus far: nothing of value appears to be stolen -- not even Ellen's engagement ring -- so it wasn't a robbery. The lead investigator looks at a photo of Ellen and David and wonders if Ellen maybe found out he was screwing around. This guy obviously doesn't know he's in a legal thriller -- no way it's that easy.
Back in the present, Katie's walking across town and ranting over the phone to Ellen, who's having a hard time putting this all together: Patty threw Katie out and called her a liar. Katie wails that Ellen needs to straighten this out with Patty -- "You're the one who made me go in there." Are you starting to get a picture of Katie as a whiny drama queen who's always waiting for the rescue? Because I kind of am. Oh, and Creepico is still following her from a rather conspicuous distance and diming her out to Frobisher.
Cut to Creepico at the Frobisher estate (tennis court and a pool -- eat a dick, Art), obviously just having given Arthur the rundown on Katie. Frobisher says that Ray wouldn't like him meeting with Creepico, but he's obviously super nervous about this situation. He asks what they can do to keep her quiet. Creepico suggests offering more money for the restaurant, but Frobisher correctly pegs that as a one-way ticket to a witness tampering charge. Creepico then offers Option B, a "permanent solution," which he conveys through raised eyebrows and pointed silence. Frobisher's taken aback, not only at how casually Creepico's offering to do this, but also that he's in the position to even have this option before him. You gotta reach a certain social status to have contract killing on the table (it goes to the right of the shrimp fork). Creepico lays it on thick, how easy a call like this can be -- "easier than you think." He says it's just another decision. Frobisher balks -- if he goes down this road, there's no coming back. "This case is gonna end with somebody's life being destroyed," Creepico says. "Why should it be yours?"
Patty meets with Tom by the waterfront in Brooklyn (?) and hands him a Palm Beach County police report that says that Katie was pulled over for running a red light on the morning of the Frobisher event. Katie left that off her timeline, and her supervisor's report for that day was fabricated to say that she was on time that day. So someone's hiding something, and Patty thinks Fiske might have something on her. And if he doesn't, he'll be digging for it. She wants Tom to find it first -- "Get me everything you can, boyfriends, jobs, vices. I want to know why she was late for the biggest day of her career." Tom asks if she thinks Ellen knows; Patty's not sure yet. But speaking of which, she hands Tom a second envelope (the cabinet for unmarked manila envelopes in Patty's office must need constant restocking), this one on Ellen. "Are you sure you really want to do this," Tom asks, mysteriously. "Make it happen!" is all Patty will say.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 2
Back at the Frobisher Estates of Envy, Arthur's watching his kids horse around in the pool, balancing their inherent, childlike goodness (or whatever) against the kind of ruthless moral void he'll have to become in order to keep them in the lifestyle to which they've become accustomed. Either that or he's trying to eyeball the chlorine levels.
Ellen and David are having dinner at their apartment when Katie bounds in full of righteous anger, saying she's just going to pack her things and go home. Like this is all Ellen's fault. Katie repeats that Patty is "crazy" and thinks she's lying. "I don't know what she's doing," says Ellen. "It doesn't make any sense." Katie thinks Patty doesn't want Ellen to know, considering she sent Ellen away five minutes before their meeting was to start. Ellen says they'll both go in tomorrow and talk to Patty, but Katie flatly refuses. She's going back to her place to resume her life. "I don't know anything about Frobisher anyway," she says. Always a ray of sunshine, our Katie.
In what appears to be the same place on the water where Patty and Tom met earlier, we see an SUV a-rockin'. Rather than keep a respectful distance, the camera instead comes a-knockin', to find Arthur Frobisher pumping away from underneath some call-girl/coke whore. Seriously, the guy's gonna give himself an aneurism. When he's done, and he and Trashy O'Sniffy take their nose medicine, he dials up Creepico. Looks like Art just got the conscience fucked out of him, because he tells Creepico to "Do it." See, all he needed was a change of scenery to make up his mind. The hooker thinks the part where Art fucked the hell out of her and then called in a hit on a potential witness was "intense." I'll say.
Tom has a meeting with a guy so shady, we don't even get his name. Sure, he's wearing a suit and all, but we know the deal. Just him associating with people like Tom and Patty is halfway to shady all on its own. So Tom hands him the envelope that Patty handed him earlier -- the one with all the unspecified information on Ellen (and David too, as Tom tells us). Shady Suit says his "associates" and he will "look into it." "Nothing too excessive," Tom starts to caution, but Shady Suit is like, "Dude, I've done vague and unscrupulous shit for Patty before. I know how she rolls."
Ellen lingers in Patty's doorway, too chicken to interrupt Patty when she's working. And with good reason, I'd say, given the ice-cold way Patty tells her that she hates people who hover in doorways. Ellen asks what happened with Katie, but Patty's pointed silence speaks volumes. Ellen says she doesn't think Katie's lying, that she has no reason to. "Don't be stupid, Ellen," Patty says with a cold chuckle. "Everybody's hiding something." Ellen asks the obvious question ("So what are you hiding?") and Patty gives the obvious answer (a variation on "O RLY?"). Ellen's like "I used my superior powers of deduction to discover that you sent me out of the office so you could talk to Katie alone." Patty's like, "Pretty much, yep." She does not offer Ellen her pick from the prize box, however. It's kind of gorgeous, how Ellen's working herself towards this kind of moral outrage, and Patty's like, "Yes, I manipulated you so I could speak to Katie alone. And?" Ellen, trying to grab whatever sack she can muster at this point and says she doesn't like being manipulated. Patty: "Duly noted. Anything else?" Awesome. Ellen then gets her dander up about how Patty promised to protect Katie, and now Katie's alone and confused. Patty tells her to slow her roll and pick her battles. Out of ammo, Ellen retreats out of the office, though Patty doesn't look unimpressed at her backbone.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 2
Unfortunately, Ellen's backbone has now gone and sought out Hollis Nye. "You were right," she tells him. "She's using me." Hollis: "Duh." He is very much enjoying his told-you-so moment. He says that Patty takes associates who are driven and uses their youth and energy to further her own agenda? Isn't that kind of how it works when you start out? I realize Patty is a whole other kettle of fish, but Hollis isn't making the best point right there. Once he's done gloating, he tells Ellen that it's kind of a gray area that they're even speaking at all, but Ellen says she didn't know who else to talk to. Hollis offers this advice: You can't change Patty, but she can change you. Keep your head down, do the work, and get as much experience as you can, then get the hell out before it's too late. "How will I know when that is?" Ellen asks. Hollis smiles and says that's a subject for another walk. Gee, thanks, old-timer.
It looks like Ellen never quite got that tip on when to get out, if this shot of her in the Grainy, Bloody Future is any indication. Winding up covered in blood and in police custody tells me you did NOT know when to fold 'em. We cut away just as she's finally looking Detective Ortiz in the eye.
A guy with a mustache in a Member's Only jacket (danger! danger!) folds up a pocketknife (I'm saying!) and heads out into the unsuspecting city. Shit.
Patty's on the phone with Phil, going over their latest credit card statement for suspicious charges. Seems Michael has been raising hell with the plastic. One charge that leaps out at Patty is for a gentleman's club. Phil tries to downplay it, saying it's for clients from Singapore who can't get enough of the champagne room (heh), but they realize the charge came from when Phil was in London. Worse yet, the charges are for an "out call," which means Michael hired the strippers out for a house call. Patty is beyond grossed out, and her frustration and dismay are probably the first signs of genuine vulnerability we've gotten from her. Phil promises he'll have a talk with Michael and straighten him out.
Well, what a coincidence! Ellen runs into Tom when he comes back to pack up his office. Weird, that's just the way Patty suggested it should happen! They walk-and-talk and Ellen is heavy with the sympathy. He didn't deserve to be fired the way he was, and she knows he's the only reason she's here. Tom tells her not to believe it. Tom asks after Ellen with concern, then gingerly broaches the subject of "that friend" Ellen told him about in the stables. Ellen reluctantly says they probably shouldn't be discussing business now that he's fired and all. Tom smiles and says she's right, before taking off. I have to figure that's one test Ellen passed.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 2
Katie's walking down the sunny street, listening to her iPod, not a care in the world, when the camera swings around so we get a good look at Member's Only following her. Katie! Crap! I know I keep saying you're stupid but ... well, you kind of are. But you shouldn't have to die for it! To Katie's credit, she eventually realizes she's being followed. She crosses the street (good move), then ducks down a shadowed alley (dumb move). Finally, when she's back on a crowded street again -- and just as Member's Only begins to unfurl his pocket knife -- Katie turns on him and starts screaming about him killing her dog. This creates enough of a fuss that passers-by have to intervene (they think she's the dangerous one, but whatever works), and Member's Only slinks away.
After the break, Katie's still upset. So upset that she goes barging into Ray Fiske's office. Without an appointment! "Jesus, Mary, and Joe Cocker," Ray exclaims, providing us with our eccentric episode title. Katie flings the signed confidentiality agreement onto Ray's desk and tearfully orders him to leave her alone, before storming out. "And to think," Ray says, raising his eyebrows at the two men he was meeting with, "she's available to cater most any occasion." Hee. I do love Ray.
The Frobisher Estate. Arthur may not be flying anymore, but he's still mighty agitated. He's on the phone -- most likely with Creepico -- and pacing up and down his lawn. He says that he just heard from Ray that Katie signed the confidentiality agreement, and he wants to call the hit off. "You can do that, right?" (Okay, maybe he is still high.) He gets cut off and frantically tries to make the call again, but he gets cut off.
Cut to Katie, back in the front room of the restaurant. She turns towards the door and says, "Oh my God!" Member's Only? No, it's Arthur Frobisher? Scarier or less scary? You decide. He makes with the friendly pleasantries, like he never heard of anything like dead dogs...or Patty Hewes, for that matter. He thanks her for signing the document, though he folksily brushes that off as "lawyer" stuff. Never once dropping the genial demeanor -- but nevertheless getting Katie increasingly frightened -- Arthur starts talking about the weekend in Florida: the meal Katie served and especially the fact that they never met face-to-face. He raves about the food, then marvels at how now, two people who had never met before, find their fates inexorably intertwined. You know, through the restaurant. Having landed all of his talking points, particularly the one about intertwined fates, Frobisher apologizes for stopping by unannounced and leaves. So I guess the hit's off.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 2
Of course, dealing with a flake like Katie means you never know how she'll react to something like this, so it's not really a surprise when she ends up on Patty's doorstep, contrite and ready to work with her. "I lied," she admits. Cut to Patty's dining room, where Katie lays out the whole story. She never told Patty about the speeding ticket because she was coming home from a one-night stand that morning, and she's not too proud of it. She met the guy, "Greg," at a bar the night before, and -- here's where the secrecy comes in -- she wound up getting pregnant... and eventually getting an abortion. She says Fiske called her a week later on behalf of Frobisher, and she never saw or heard from this Greg again. Patty is understanding (outwardly) about why Katie lied, and she tries to prepare her for the scrutiny she'll come under if she indeed ends up as a key witness. Katie stresses that David and Ellen don't know about the abortion, but Patty tells her that the truth, at some point, will have to come out. She'll let Katie decide when.
Of course, no sooner are those words out of Patty's mouth than we're cutting to the office the day, where Patty, after indeed covering for Katie, tells Ellen about a medical release waiver in the confidentiality agreement Katie signed. "Ray Fiske must think there's something in Katie's past that would destroy her credibility as a witness." Yeah, wonder what that might be. Keeping the sleight-of-hand going, Patty switches subjects and plunks a set of keys onto Ellen's desk. They're for a "quiet little place on the Upper West Side. Nice light, safe street." Ellen, I don't care who Patty wants you to murder, you take those keys. Naturally, Ellen demurs at first, but Patty won't hear of it. She knows Ellen was looking for a new place, and Patty made sure she got a great deal. "Ellen," Patty says, her face disconcertingly bright and friendly, "time you need something, come to me." So much for Ellen keeping her head down.
At a quiet little park somewhere, Katie walks up to meet an incredibly attractive man on a bench. This would be Greg (played by Peter Facinelli -- nice), and he greets Katie warmly, saying he didn't think he'd ever see her again. "We need to talk," Katie tells him. "About Florida." Off in the middle distance, we see they're being watched. Okay, which of the six dozen already-established shady characters is it now? Creepico? Members Only? Uncle Pete? ...Ah, it's Tom. I guess not having a day job anymore frees up the schedule for openly staring at strangers in broad daylight.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 2
Frobisher Estate. Arthur's barbecuing for the fam, and everybody seems to be in good spirits. His daughter tells a lame knock-knock joke, and all seems right in the Frobisher universe. Holly still seems a bit wary, though.
Back at Patty's, Tom tells her he thinks Katie's lying about the guy she met in Florida. "I think she's lying about a lot of things," Patty says, then sips her wine.
Of course, until Patty knows exactly what Katie's lying about, I suppose she'll have to keep playing nice. Like, oh, say buying Katie a dog, which she hands to Katie at their meeting. I'd call that playing nice. I mean, sure, this dog is only a replacement for the dog Patty had ordered killed last week, but Katie doesn't know that. Katie, I'm thinking, doesn't know a lot of things. Which is the total irony of Katie, because, like, the two things she does know are what's making people threaten her and kill her dogs. "No more secrets," Patty tells her. "No more secrets," Katie promises.
Ellen and David check out their swank new apartment, and who lets them into the place but Shady Suit from earlier. You know what, though, even with a shady landlord who's working for your even shadier boss, who probably had your new apartment wired for sound and video behind your back...I'd still take the apartment. Upper West Side! Great light! Tons of space! Sure, that's the bathtub you'll be murdered in in a matter of weeks, but... worth it.
Back to the Grainy Bloody Future, Detective Ortiz is telling Ellen that she wants to help her. Ellen's still making eye contact, but that doesn't mean she's ready to start talking. We do get a quick flash back to earlier that morning, however. A panicked and bloody Ellen looks at David's dead body in the tub...and drops an equally bloody Statue of Liberty bookend. Dun!