By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1
The (ass-kicking) opening theme song kicks us off straight away, and I'm hoping that "When I am through with you, there won't be anything left" isn't referring to any prospective recapper, though I have a feeling this is going to be an... intense assignment. And then it's right into the operatic external shots around Manhattan. Empire State Building! Taxicabs! Uh... scaffolding! It's all filmed in a kind of gritty half-sepia tone that you'll want to become familiar with as the season goes on. This show juggles at least two, usually three, timelines in the air at all times, and it's the film stock that tells the tale.
Anyway, we push in on an elevator in a posh apartment building and wait an eternity for it to open on a bloodied, near-catatonic Ellen Parsons. Trembling with fear, she sneaks past the doorman and into the crowded streets in mid-day New York (we can see the Empire State Building in the background, so we're in midtown somewhere). Ellen doesn't look like she knows where she's going as she scrambles around the streets, drawing stares from pedestrians, because even in New York, the bloody lady in the trench coat running around gets noticed. She almost gets hit by a cab, in that way that crazed people running around busy streets often do, and the thing we know, she's in a police interrogation room. The cops, on the other side of the two-way mirror, exposit that she hasn't given them her name and the only thing they found on her person was a business card with the name "Hollis Nye, Attorney-At-Law" on it. "Who are you?" the lady cop asks to no one, and because the show will be speaking for Ellen for the time being, we're busted back in time...
...To "Six Months Earlier." A less bloody, more talkative Ellen is being given a formal offer of employment from a lawfirm of some sort. They must be pretty successful, because their starting salary offer is enough to make Ellen exclaim "Holy shit!" out loud. Ah, the wonderful world of recapping an FX show. Can't say "fuck," but the "shit"s make up for it. The older gentleman in charge -- Ellen calls him "Mr. Nye," so that's one mystery out of several dozen solved -- notices that Ellen is hesitating to sign the agreement, and he asks if she's interviewed at any other firms. Ellen hasn't, but she got a call from "Hewes and Associates." This hits home with Nye and his people, and almost immediately the woman who handed Ellen her contract starts to draw it back. "Patty Hewes," the woman says warily. Nye: "You might have mentioned that before." Ellen hasn't become untouchable right now. Just unattainable.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1
Tate Donovan and Glenn Close are riding in a limo. From now on, they'll be Tom Shayes and Petty Hewes. Tom is on the phone and relays to Patty that someone-or-other's final offer is $25 million. "No it isn't," Patty says, with barely any emotion at all (though if she had one, it'd be contempt). Soon enough, she gets an irate phone call from Robin Thomas, a "Hey! It's That Guy" who's been playing this same kind of smug, buttoned-up asshole for years. He keeps trying to convince Patty that she has no case and that 25 mil is a gift. Patty, cool and dismissive, insists on $150 million. She plays around about water signs and fire signs for a few moments, killing time until the limo arrives at the courthouse.
When they get there, Robin Thomas continues to promise that the settlement is better than Patty can ever hope with the jury, seeing as she never proved his client was at fault. Patty turns around and, without a trace of cynicism in her voice, says, "Children died, Martin." It's maybe my favorite thing about Patty Hewes as played by Glenn Close: even when you are 100% sure in your mind that she's in this thing for the winning and not for the people she represents, she's still able to sell it to you otherwise. She's always got you off-balance. A court officer tells them the verdict is in, and a skittish Robin Thomas ups the offer to $50 million, then to $75 as Patty tells him about a young client of hers who deserves justice. Patty's almost to the top of the courthouse steps when Thomas angrily caves to the $150 million. Tom makes him call the judge and inform him of the settlement. "You're a real hard-dick bitch, you know that?" Robin spits at Patty, desperately trying to diminish her power now that he's been soundly thumped. Patty sees an older woman climbing the steps and greets her: "Afternoon, Madam Forewoman." Thomas goes apeshit, saying he thought they'd arrived at a verdict. The foreperson says not at Quizno's, they haven't. The court officer (obviously one of Patty's people) slinks back up the steps as Thomas rants at Patty: "If you were a man, I'd kick the living dogshit out of you." Patty, her eyes smiling, doesn't miss a beat: "If you were a man, I'd be worried." Score.
That night, Ellen's taking a cab with her fiancé, David Connor, and telling him about the utter lunacy of leaving Nye's offer on the table. They arrive at what is doubtless some downtown bar, the better to underline just how much Ellen is not in the upper crust right now. Nothing says "still paying off my college loans" like colored lights strung up inside a watering hole. She and David order drinks, but Ellen spots Hollis Nye -- still buttoned up in his suit -- at the end of the bar. Nye never drops his bright smile nor friendly demeanor once as he delivers a litany of ominous (well, ominous considering what we know about Bloody Ellen Trenchcoat) warnings about working with Patty Hewes. He points out David and says there won't be any room for him and Patty in her life. There won't be room for Ellen and Patty. "With Patty Hewes," he smiles, "there's only Patty." He innocuously asks Ellen to sign a business card for him, saying it'll clear his conscience. "You're special, Ellen," he says. "That'll only make the fall harder." Ellen's confused and says she hasn't even met with Patty, much less accepted the offer. Nye's unmoved: "Once she meets you, it's all over. She'll see what I see. And then she'll own you." Nye says his firm's offer is still good, and then he hands Ellen back the business card. Above her signature, he's written "I was warned."
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1
Patty's on TV with Greta Van Susteren, though sadly Patty only ranks as the second most diabolical and self-obsessed person to appear on Greta's show this year. Sadly, people who wanted to hear about abducted college girls from a freaky-looking face turned to Nancy Grace. Shame, that. Anyway, Patty's being affable and conversational, smiling even -- light years away from her demeanor at the courthouse, and she wasn't even being particularly intense then. At least, not for her. For the benefit of the rest of us, Patty lays out her newest case, an insider-trading and fraud civil action against one Arthur Frobisher, who got his employees to invest in his company before dumping his stock and leaving them with nothing. Archive footage from a Congressional hearing shows us that Frobisher is being played by Ted Danson. Van Susteren notes that Frobisher claims he had a prior arrangement with his broker to sell the stock, and was found not guilty in a criminal court. Patty's like, "Yeah, but you don't believe that, do you?"
After the show, Patty walks-and-talks with a staffer, who says he wishes his girlfriend could've been there since they're huge Greta fans. "Your girlfriend?" asks Patty. "I thought you were gay." Evidence of Patty's tunnel-vision legal mind or a calculated emasculation used to keep her employees in line? Patty Hewes, ladies and gents. I'd take her to task for assuming that being mistaken for gay is such a dick-shrinking thing, but... I was kind of asking the same thing before she was.
The day, at Patty's offices, Team Hewes is meeting with her clients in the Frobisher case. There's a dark-haired woman who's taking the lead in talking to Patty, but there's also an older man, Larry, who keeps dropping in his two cents. They're both upset that the Frobisher camp is painting them to be greedy and opportunistic, but Patty's good at calming them down and telling them this is exactly what Frobisher wants. Lord knows how she's managing to be so calming while wearing that shimmery blue dress shirt that's about six sizes too big for her, but Patty's a woman of many talents. "High-stakes litigation is a long and painful process," Patty says, in the same kind of tone your mother took when she told you the boogeyman wasn't real. Larry looks on like the idea of a long and painful litigation isn't what he had in mind. Patty tells them they need to stick together and weather Frobisher's attacks together. "If we do that," she assures them, "we'll win."
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1
Brooklyn (you can tell by the giant bridge in the background -- message received, show!). Ellen's out jogging alongside a blonde companion who's letting her dog lead the way. The blonde, Katie, is kind of lagging, so Ellen pulls up. Kate complains/exposits that it's been slow going getting her new restaurant up and running. Seems David was running with them, too, since all of a sudden he's there and clumsily letting us all know that Katie's his sister. David kind of looks like the Torchwood guy's younger, round-facier brother. Ellen checks her phone and freaks out: "They bumped up my interview."
Ellen's introduction to Hewes & Associates is an overwhelming one, starting with when Patty breezes by her in the lobby and damn near knocks Ellen to the ground with the force of her (totally faked) unfamiliarity. Crestfallen, Ellen is then given the tour of the offices by Tom. So already he and Patty are playing her with Good Cop/Too-Important-To-Notice-You Cop. We see the usual tropes of the overworked lawyers at big-money firms -- they haven't been home in days and are having their clothes dry-cleaned and delivered to the office while they talk on the phone in their underwear. Dig that jet-set lifestyle! The old man delivering the dry-cleaning -- "Uncle Pete," according to Tom -- nearly runs Tom and Ellen over. He has a kindly old man demeanor, which means he's either going to die or turn out to be a scumbag. I won't tell you which.
Tom gives Ellen the sales pitch: real legal work right away, part of the team not just a paperwork monkey, et cetera. In Tom's office, he gives Ellen pointers on the interview -- basically "Know your shit" -- but also tells her that it's not going to be about what Ellen knows but how she behaves. Patty, says Tom, "has the sharpest bullshit meter I've ever seen." If Ellen's phony in any way, Patty will "skewer" her. "Good," says Ellen. "Phony's not my strong suit." Tom says that they've got Ellen scheduled to meet with Patty on Saturday, "time TBD." Ellen's confused -- she thought they'd be meeting today. Tom says nobody meets with Patty without first getting screened by Tom. Ellen says Saturday's no good -- her sister's getting married. Tom isn't moved one inch and says Ellen needs to work it out -- find the time to meet with Patty or her opportunity goes bye-bye.
Cut to a dog park, where the territorial growlings of the canines provide a clear, if overbearing, metaphor for the law as practiced by Patty Hewes. Patty's there, and she's joined by Ray Fiske, who is played by the excellent Hey! It's That Guy, Zjelko Ivanek. And even better than the terrific performance he gives as Fiske is Ivanek's attempt at a southern -- Louisiana? -- accent. It never sounds the same way twice. Anyway, he and Patty talk like old friends, but ones who have spent half a lifetime battling it out. That Patty doesn't already have Ray's balls cast in bronze and displayed on her mantle either speaks well of their friendship or his legal ability. Ray asks which dog is Patty's, and she points out the mutt trying to hump a Ridgeback. We don't see the dogs, but Patty's proud expression, combined with the could-give-a-shit shrug she gives the other dog's owner as she says "Sorry," tells us the pup learned from its master. Like I said, the metaphor's unsubtle. Ray pontificates for a bit about how Patty has no case, given that the government couldn't prove dick, and when Patty doesn't respond, he asks her to just give him a number to settle this at. Patty, if you haven't already noticed, doesn't go for settlements when she can get blood instead, so she's not interested. Ray asks if she's in this for her clients or to ruin Arthur Frobisher. Patty smiles and says, "Both." Ray thinks she's full of shit. SHIT! It's how you know you're still tuned in to FX. He once again tells her she has no case, and Patty, unconcerned, whistles for her (leash-less) dog and heads off. Perhaps to find an even better metaphor for her adversarial style -- a bare-knuckle brawl, say.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1
Over at the Parsons family wedding. Ellen and David are moping at their table while Ellen's sister -- Miriam Shor (!), most recently of Swingtown but who will always be Yitzhak, Hedwig's girl Friday (...through Thursday) to me -- thanks everybody for coming. The banquet room is adorned with a disco ball and about three dozen hanging paper bells, just so you're not confused about what tacky stock Ellen comes from. Ellen's paying attention to nothing, seeing as she's so preoccupied with blowing off her Hewes interview. Ellen's sister, "Carrie," gets around to thanking Ellen, if by "thanking" you mean "weepily, and a tad bitterly, going on about how Ellen was always the perfect one in the family." Pull it together, Carrie. Ellen rolls her eyes and gets up to give her a hug (and shut her up).
Cut to Ellen in the Ladies', staring at her frowny-ass self in the mirror and looking miserable, when who else but Patty Hewes strides into frame. "Thought you might need a breather," she smirks, which makes me laugh, because: how long was she waiting in that stall anyway? And how did she manage to keep that pinstriped beige jacket so impeccably spotless? I mean, beyond the obvious explanation that she simply scared potential stains away. Anyhoo, Ellen freaks, and Patty smiles that she just had to meet Ellen, this dumbass who chose her weepy sister's wedding over the most sought-after job in town. She puts Ellen at ease with some jokes at the expense of family toasts and public displays of affection, before offering her a bourbon, which I guess was also in that stall with her all along. Hey, gotta pass the time somehow. Ellen passes on the bourbon, electing to take this horrifyingly impromptu meeting straight.
To the strains of "Heart of Glass," Patty and Ellen walk-n-talk down the corridor outside the banquet room. Patty prods Ellen about whether she sees a husband in her own future, and Ellen says she hopes so. "You know what they say," says Patty, "'Hope is the thing with feathers.'" Ellen correctly pegs this as an Emily Dickinson quote, then leans in to Patty and says, "That bitch'll say anything." Which makes pretty much zero sense, to me, other than giving Ellen the vaguest potty-mouthed edge to her personality. Which I guess is what Patty's looking for anyway, so whatever. Ellen begins to apologize for turning down the meeting, saying she could blow off a family event like this for a job, because... "You'd confirm their worst fear," Patty fills in for her. Patty then commiserates about families who place all their hopes and expectations on their talented children, then resent them for living up to their potential. "They put you up on a pedestal and look up to you," she says, "then blame you for the crick in their necks." Sounds like Patty went through the same thing -- or wants Ellen to think she did. She says Ellen made an "interesting choice," choosing family over ambition, then walks away. Ellen chases after and asks if there's any way she could get another interview. Patty says there'd be no point...she's hired. Patty hands Ellen her bourbon -- like, "Now you'll need this" -- and strides off. Ellen lets the hint of a smile sneak out... then downs the bourbon.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1
And now we're off to a motocross course, where we see a pair of overgrown children riding dune-buggies across what is essentially a glorified sandbox. Ah, the idle, indulgent rich. So this would be Arthur Frobisher, who takes a call from Ray Fiske telling him that Patty's not offering a settlement. Frobisher, while initially cavalier about the whole thing, gets angry and agitated once it becomes clear that Patty's not going to be bought so easily. "My wife's going to leave me," he tells Ray, "and my kids are being harassed at school." He tells Ray to "make the call," and whatever that means, Ray's reluctant to do it. But Frobisher's sick of this whole process and wants some leverage, so he tells Ray again to make the call. He also admonishes Ray to ease up on the "bloodsucker" talk with regard to the plaintiffs. So is Frobisher concerned about acting like an asshole towards his former employees or just appearing to be an asshole in the press? Not sure. He hangs up so he can accompany his "idiot brother-in-law," who we saw take a nasty fall at the beginning of the scene, to the hospital.
At Hewes Co., Patty's assistants give Ellen the lowdown on the Frobisher case. Seems the whole case hinges on the relationship between Frobisher and his broker, Gary Genow. Frobisher says he had a preexisting arrangement to sell his stock, Genow backs him up, and it's total bullshit but the government couldn't prove it. But Frobisher and Genow were both in Florida the weekend prior to the sell-off, and Hewes Co. is busy trying to find the smoking gun therein. Patty's associates run down everything they know about Frobisher's Floridian weekend, from his gold outing through his three-hour spa treatment, and if the fly-zipping interstitial is any indication, by "treatment," they mean "full service." Somebody has to have seen Frobisher and Genow together that weekend, and they need to find that someone. Tom interrupts the meeting to show Ellen her office (advising her that Patty doesn't like her employees to personalize their offices) and send her to a fitting at Bergdorf's with someone who "knows what Patty likes." Can I take a moment to revel in all this alpha-dog posturing by Patty? To the point where she's actually picking out her associates' clothes like a pimp? It's fantastic.
Cut to the grimy present, where bloody Ellen is examining her fingernails like a crazy person as the cops take her Polaroid through the two-way mirror. The one cop hands the photograph to Hollis Nye -- now it seems we're at Nye's home -- who confirms Ellen's identity and says she "lives with her fiancé." Cut to the cops busting into a ransacked apartment -- apparently Ellen and David's. They slowly make their way through the front rooms, and the male cop crouches down and loops his pencil through a diamond engagement ring that was on the floor and examines it. So at this point, "fiancé" may have been pushing it.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1
Back to the shiny past. Ellen returns home, and I can't immediately tell if it's the same place we just saw in the flashback, what with it not being wrecked to shit and filmed in grainy hand-held. Ellen tells David about getting bulldozed by the dressers at Bergdorf's and seeing Barbara Walters in the dressing room. She shows off some of her new outfits and sees a small bag she claims isn't hers. Inside is a small velvet box, and at this point any further incredulousness is just not believable. While David sits silently like a simp, like all guys on TV who are waiting for their girlfriends to catch the snap already, Ellen produces a remarkably familiar diamond ring. We get to admire it for a good 30 seconds or so as the camera lingers on it while Ellen and David proceed to do it like sinners while an Annie Lennox sound-alike sings in the background.
Elsewhere, we see a reluctant-looking Ray Fiske enter a storefront where there are renovations happening and Katie, David's sister from before, is wiping down cocktail glasses. She greets Ray warmly, they clearly know each other, and he makes small talk about, among other things, Katie's dog, whose name is "Saffron," which we know because Katie told us and because we get a lingering closeup on her collar. Ray also produces Katie's liquor license, which he claims credit for expediting. The gist here is that Frobisher is Katie's investor for the restaurant, but while the cinematography is ominous, Katie is clearly not behaving as if this is in any way a shady deal. Ray hands her a document to sign -- a confidentiality agreement. Katie thinks she's already signed one of these, but whatever; she'll have her lawyer look at it and sign it ASAP. Ray plays the "aren't we all friends here?" card and drops some hints about not wanting to delay the restaurant-opening process in any way, trying to get Katie to sign right now without seeming too pushy, but she doesn't bite. It looks for a moment like Katie might just be benefiting from being too flighty to pick up social cues, but when Ray leaves, she gets a canny look on her face.
Holy hell, this episode hasn't been funny at all! Sorry, guys, but there's groundwork to be laid. Funny jokes about the Patty's balls and David's overall suckiness will abound in the recaps to come, I promise. Anyhoo, in more news of vaguely threatening corruption, Frobisher is taking a friendly meeting with Larry, the old-guy plaintiff, in the friendly confines of his gun room. Frobisher, being a total creep, tries to bond with Larry and his military background by dropping the fact that his great-grandfather was a Civil War profiteer. That always tends to win the favor of the grunts, don't you think? Larry is polite but not overly warm -- though he's not hostile either, and since Frobisher's supposed to have cost Larry his job and his pension, that says a lot. Continuing to try to win Larry's favor, Frobisher talks about how he left home at 17 with no money and came from nothing to make his fortune. He says that what happened to his employees was a tragedy, but that he's innocent of any wrongdoing. He also says Patty Hewes is the wrong way to go and that she's going to lose the case for them. Larry, naturally, wants to know what Frobisher wants him to do about this. Frobisher acknowledges the fact that Larry has the ear of the other plaintiffs and proposes that they, together, come up with a solution to this case so that it doesn't drag on through a trial. He wants Larry to come to him with a number he thinks is fair. He also promises to "take care of" Larry, when it's all said and done. In a financial sense, not in a ballistic sense, though I wouldn't rule out the latter at some point. Larry contemplates.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1
Back to the dog park, where Ray approaches Patty and hands her a piece of paper with a number on it. Guess Larry contemplated quickly.
Back at Hewes Co., Ellen and Tom walk-n-talk about the offer -- $100 million -- and how stingy it is. It's Patty's duty to take the number to the clients, says Tom. Ellen worries that the clients may take it, but Tom's not. "This is Patty Hewes," he says. "Watch and learn."
Meeting with the clients, Patty makes her case. She says that with 5,000 plaintiffs, that money ain't gonna go far. Seriously, I'm fucking broke and even I think that $20,000 per plaintiff is awfully cheap. But the equally broke Frobisher employees are thinking it might not be that bad. Patty responds that this is what Frobisher wants them to do -- take the settlement so he gets off light. The only way to send a message to Frobisher is to make him pay more than he can afford. If you're thinking that a verdict that outpaces what Frobisher can give out may satisfy Patty's lust for blood but will only lead to a lengthy appeals process which will ultimately knock such a wild sum of money down several pegs, you're on the right track. Patty's argument to take this to trial appears to have landed -- she even starts to get applause -- but Larry interrupts. He says that they all discussed this before: if Frobisher were to offer $100 million, they would take it. Patty immediately turns to Tom and asks him if he knew about this pre-existing agreement. Flustered, Tom says no, and when Patty won't take her death glare off of him, he begins rifling through papers for god knows what. An escape hatch, one presumes. Larry goes on that the more money they take from Frobisher means more money for Patty, and he's seconded by another old man, who notes that while Patty may be able to wait out the delays of a jury settlement, they cannot. Patty stands up to make another golden-tongued plea, but Larry, proving that while he's an easily-manipulated putz, he's not a total moron, cuts her off and moves for an immediate vote. Ellen looks on, concerned, Tom looks like he's waiting for his entire digestive system to splash against the floor, and Patty looks nervous for the first time all episode and hand after hand goes up.
Some time later (though still on the current, non-bloody timeline), Patty's accepting an award from the bar association. Her hair looks a billion times better than it did in the client meeting, too -- maybe it was her mushroomy head that caused everyone to lose confidence in her? Patty's speech is self-effacing and pleasant, but from the sidelines, Tom tells Ellen that Patty hates these kinds of events. She only showed up as a pre-emptive PR movie -- if Frobisher gets off at $100 million, it's gonna be bad news for Patty's rep.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1
Elsewhere, Katie's on a phone call outside her restaurant when she notices a bearded, bespectacled man staring at her. I say "notices" like Katie used her keen powers of perception to sense she was being watched, but the reality is that the guy is sitting on the hood of his car, smoking a cig, looking like he just stepped out of some Serpico-style '70s cop movie, and staring a hole through Katie's face. He could have written "Stalking you!" on the hood of his car in feces and still been less conspicuous. Katie gets rightly creeped out and heads inside to call her brother. She tells David they need to talk, but this seems less about Creepico and more about the agreement Ray handed her earlier.
Back at the ABA, Patty takes a call from her husband, Phil -- Michael Nouri, taking a break from romancing Julie Cooper and Uncle Saul -- who's in London, at an art gallery or some such signifier of the cultured elite. He's not taking down billionaires or humping other dogs in the yard, is the point. They're warm with each other over the phone, which is a deviation from the stereotype, and they vaguely discuss problems their son, Michael, is having at school. Phil asks after Patty's eating and sleeping habits, making sure she's not working herself into the ground, even though she'll have it no other way. She's running her own show, clearly, but they both seem content with that.
In the limo, Tom frets that the clients are asking why Patty hasn't accepted Frobisher's settlement on their behalf yet, and when Patty hops into the back seat looking like she ate a whole box of Wheaties this morning, even I start to pee my pants a little. She suggests they go out for a steak lunch and makes sure Ellen's a carnivore. Unless Tom, she says, who's a vegan. She says "vegan" the way Robert Duvall might say "women's studies major." Keeping the scary/intense smile on her face, Patty turns to "Tommy" and says she knows everything about him. "And who did I trust to be my client liaison on this case?" she coos. "You trusted me," says Tom. "But who let me get blindsided by their intentions?" she continues. Tom protests that he couldn't have known, but Patty won't have any excuses for such a "catastrophic" screw-up. "Enjoy your tofu, Tom, you're fired," she says, far too evenly to be human. Tom continues to sputter that he was lied to, but Patty's already moving on to other lunch options, asking a bewildered Ellen if she'd rather sushi. When Tom presses, then Patty gets pissed and screams at him to get out of the car. He finally does, and flips the bird at the limo as Patty tells her driver to take them to that place she likes. Lord knows how she still has any appetite at all after filling herself up on Tom's dignity like that.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1
Back to David and Katie, the Dundertwins. Katie's at David's apartment, telling him about her heretofore unconfessed connection to Arthur Frobisher: she catered for him, though never met him, when she was working down in Florida a couple years ago, and a week after the event, she got a call from Frobisher's people saying he wanted to help her open a restaurant. And so not wanting to trouble herself with the whys and wherefores of this crazy billionaire's hard-on for her cooking, she accepted it, I guess. David yells at her for never telling him about this, what with Frobisher in the news a whole lot as he was being tried by the federal justice department. Katie says by the time that all happened, she had already signed a confidentiality agreement. David about to start holding the fact that she now appears to have a stalker over her head when Ellen comes home, yakking away on the phone. She takes one look at the Dundertwins and goes, "...What's wrong?"
Cut to Ellen, after hearing Katie's story, trying to convince Katie that she has to speak to Patty about this. She explains that their whole case hinges on this one weekend in Florida, and now it turns out Katie was there for it. Katie stresses that she never even met Frobisher in person, but Ellen figures she had to have seen something, even if Katie doesn't know what it was, if they made her sign that confidentiality agreement. She thinks a judge can set such an agreement aside, but she says the first thing is for Katie to meet with Patty. Katie doesn't want to, what with Frobisher being her investor and all. She'll lose the restaurant. Rather than breaking the sad news to her that the restaurant is tantamount to ill-gotten gains, the result of an elaborate bribe, Ellen just looks conflicted. She gets a call from "Andrew" at the office and leaves without saying one way or the other whether she'll tell Patty or not.
Ellen brings papers to Patty's apartment, but her maid directs Ellen to Michael's school, where Patty was called in for a meeting. At the school, Patty peruses documents while Ellen stares a hole in the back of her head. This doesn't escape Patty's notice and she finally asks Ellen what her damage is -- is it that she fired Tom? Ellen balks at that one, as does Patty, really -- she starts bitching about the headmaster always keeping her waiting. Ellen broaches that subject, gingerly as you please, and Patty frankly says that he's threatening to expel her son. That's all she'll say, though, beyond advising Ellen to never have kids -- you can never leave 'em. She admits to not being a good mother, neither mournfully nor apologetically. "Kids are like clients," she says. "They want all of you, all of the time." She loves the kid, Patty says, but the love part is easy. It's what comes after that that's hard. She chuckles and says she can tell Ellen's always working something out in her head -- Patty likes that about her -- and she doesn't fall for bullshit. For whatever reason, this is enough for Ellen to leave Patty to her meeting and head on out.
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1
That whatever reason becomes clear once Ellen gets home and tells David she thinks Patty already knows about Katie, and to go even further, that's why she hired Ellen in the first place -- to get to Katie.
Back in Murder-Cam land, one cop is still examining Ellen's bloody engagement ring while another checks out the bedroom. He opens the door to the connected bathroom and a pigeon flies out at him and scares the crap out of everyone. (Ironically, the pigeon managed to keep his crap to himself.) The cop moves into the bathroom and takes a look inside the shower. We don't see what he sees, but via a mirror, we see streaks of blood on the near wall.
Happier times. Ellen has gone to see Tom at a horse farm (Tom's daughter is taking riding lessons). She explains her theory about Patty and Katie and says she realizes she must seem paranoid. Paranoid... or smart? Tom tells her she's the latter and that she's already thinking like Patty. He flatters her by saying that he has never seen Patty more excited about a legal associate, but he tells her he never knew about Katie until Ellen just now told him, and since Patty had never heard of Ellen until Tom briefed her, he's confident in saying Patty didn't know about Katie either. "So," Tom asks her, "what are you gonna do." Clean the horse crap off her pricey shoes, one would hope. Katie picks up Ellen in her car, and we see they're both under the watchful eye of Creepico.
Frobisher's in the city, getting streetside gyros with his tweenage son. He gets a call from Ray, in the car with Creepico, who tells him that Patty Hewes's new associate has been talking to Katie Connor. Frobisher, after being reminded who Katie is, tells Ray to fix it, "whatever it takes."
That night, Katie's in her dimly lit apartment, readying a bath. She calls for Saffron, her dog. This is intercut with David and Ellen at their own apartment, with David arguing that Katie shouldn't have to put herself on the line just so Ellen can nail Frobisher. Katie can't find Saffron. Ellen can't convince David that she should tell Patty. David thinks this is more about Ellen scoring points with Patty. Katie still can't find Saffron. "Just keep her out of this!" David yells. Katie slips and falls on what appears to be blood on her kitchen floor. She peers underneath her mobile kitchen island and sees Saffron, lying dead on the floor with a gash across the throat. Katie hyperventilates and scrambles away until she's up against a wall. Pinned to the bulleting board on that wall, with a butcher knife, is a one-word note: "QUIET."
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1
The thing we see, David and Ellen are in Katie's apartment, comforting her. David tells her to just give Frobisher what he wants and sign the damn confidentiality agreement. "No," says Katie, "call Patty." She wants to nail Frobisher.
So Ellen finally brings this to Patty, who cautions Ellen that this means Katie's going to be in it now, and subject to whatever Frobisher and Co. can throw at her. Ellen explains that Katie's been galvanized now. Patty says they'll depose Katie, then, and if she knows anything, they'll use it to get their clients to turn down the settlement. Patty stops Ellen from leaving and says she knows how hard this is for her, and they'll do everything in their power to protect Katie.
"Everything in their power" appears to begin and end with getting the horn-rimmed glasses guy from Heroes to camp outside Katie's building in a car marked "Security." Well nobody's going to mess with that guy, he's a total badass! (Okay, it's not him exactly, but you totally know who his favorite character on TV is.)
Creeping music and camerawork follows David and Ellen to their own apartment, but the scariest thing there is David's perma-frown. He's scared for his sister. "Patty knows what she's doing," Ellen assures him. Oh, honey.
Creepy deserted road outside a creepy deserted warehouse where a creepy van pulls up to creepy... Tom? The music starts to get super intense, just in case you didn't realize this is when you have to put down your big beef 'n' cheddar and pay attention. Out of the van comes Uncle Pete, who tells Tom they've missed him around the office. "Everyone thinks you were actually canned," he says, helpfully (thanks, Uncle Pete!). "Yeah," says Tom, "so did I." (And thank you, Tom.) Tom hands Uncle Pete a rolled-up newspaper with a wad of cash inside. Uncle Pete hands Tom something small, wrapped in brown paper, to give to Patty. "A souvenir." Holy Jesus, loud crescendoing music, we get it! This is totally fucked up.
Tom head out to what appears to be Patty's house in the Hamptons to find Patty out back, staring out at the water with her head wrapped in a scarf, looking like the scariest remake of Grey Gardens you ever saw. Tom openly marvels at how Patty could have gotten Ellen to deliver Katie even after Ellen figured out Patty's ulterior motives behind hiring her. He hands her the mystery package, then asks if she plans to interview for a new associate. "No, I like Ellen," Patty says, taking up her preferred real estate between plausibly sincere and frighteningly sinister. "I think she's going to have a brilliant future."
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 1
Of course, when we jump to Ellen's brilliant future, it's more bloody than anything else. The cops check inside the shower and find the battered, bloodied, and quite dead body of one David Connor.
Back in the Hamptons, Patty opens Uncle Pete's parcel to discover proof of what we've been suspecting for the last five minutes: it's Saffron's dog collar. Nice job galvanizing the witness, Ms. Hewes. Little Patty heaves the collar into the ocean. Her walk back down the pier is framed to look like a funeral procession. Nice touch, that.
Back in the future/present/grainy-bloody times, Ellen's still in police custody, still not talking. Of course, with her boyfriend dead, she'd better start talking. So says the lady cop, at least. Ellen finally raises her head and says the smartest and dumbest thing she can think of: "Get me a lawyer."
Okay! Dead dogs and corruption! Murder and treachery! Ought to be a lighthearted romp, huh?