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It's time for Chuck and Sarah's respective bachelor and bachelorette parties, which means a couple of things: wacky, Three's Company-style misunderstandings. (Check.) And some big government mess is going to get in the way. (Check.)
As Awesome plans the big Vegas bachelor weekend for Chuck, Morgan, Big Mike, Casey and Jeffster!, Ellie's spending lots of time with her dad's computer, getting closer and closer to Agent X. Vivian's cronies are also getting close to finding what they're looking for, though, and that's Orion's computer so they can track down Agent X themselves. They find some weird device that leads them right to the computer during the bachelorette party. But moments before they show up at Ellie's, we realize Ellie and Awesome have accidentally switched bags. So they show up at the bachelor party in Vecas. Yes, I said Vecas. As in Las Vecas, the camp site where Awesome took the gang (they only thought he was saying Vegas). Casey's stealth training in face painting and spear making serves him well as he takes out all of Vivian's mercenaries and saves Jeff, Chuck and the computer (though the computer does take a knife, Chuck obviously fixes it later). After the guys return from the party, Chuck and Ellie finally come clean with each other. He tells her he's the Intersect, which makes him Agent X, duh. Ellie tells him he's wrong about that, since his father wrote about Agent X before Chuck was even born.
So, they get the computer working again (Chuck's Nerd Herder skills pay off again), and realize they're being led to an old house in England. They leave Ellie behind because she's a mommy and head to England, where they find a little old British lady living in the house. She serves them tea, and acts all sweet and pleasant, but when Vivian's men show up, she pulls out her collection of grenades and automatic weapons and blows the whole place apart. Turns out this Agent X fellow, Hartley Winterbottom, is her son. She tells them that the CIA turned him into a machine and then turned its back on him. Chuck assures her that his father didn't, and she immediately knows whose son he is, since Bakula and her son were friends. Sarah and Chuck find Agent X's spy will and take it back to Castle to open it with Ellie. When they open it up, they find information about Hartley Winterbottom, including a photo of a much younger Alexei Volkoff. They all discuss what to do with the news that the CIA created this evil mastermind, when Casey pulls up some information on a computer that confirms this. Then he brings them a room and unplugs anything the CIA could be listening in on. He tells them they have to pretend they didn't see this. When Ellie protests their dad wanted them to find this, Casey tells her how it will play out if they don't let it go. Some very important people covered this up, and they'll send someone like Casey to kill them all, which isn't what Bakula would have wanted. They all agree to let it go. Back at the apartments later, though, Ellie tells Chuck this isn't over for them. She says it's not for the CIA to solve; it's for them, the Bartowskis. Dramatic music plays as Casey puts Agent X's spy will away in the secret room he and Robin Givens built at Castle. Something tells me we haven't seen the end of that spy will. Or of Alexei Volkoff.
Oh, and also? Casey (not Jack Bauer) just might have been the guy who killed Osama bin Laden.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!A few things Chuck wants us to know. Ellie and Chuck have been lying to each other about who and what they know. Vivian wants to track down and kill Agent X, the only man her father was ever afraid of. Now: A sexy lady walks down some stairs and struts through a warehouse. When a guy points a gun at her, she flashes a badge and pretends she's here to help with some break-ins. Then she drops the papers she's holding, and when he leans down to pick it all up for her, she knocks him out with a punch to the face. That's when Riley comes in and tells her what great work she's done. They unlock a box and pull out what looks like a GameBoy. The sexy lady skeptically asks if it's the computer with all the Agent X files. Riley says this is just a tracker to lead them to it, which means someone in the CIA is keeping track. Sexy lady thinks this was way too easy, and she assumes the CIA is protecting the real computer much better.
Cut to Ellie spilling spaghetti on the computer's keyboard. Then shirtless Awesome comes down and asks her to put some tanning lotion on him, since he's leaving for Chuck's bachelor party soon, and it's going to be sunny in Vegas. She rubs it on and tells him about this picture of an old house that she came up with on her dad's computer. It was at the end of some sort of crazy story problems she solved, apparently, and now she can't figure out why. She can't understand why her dad wants her to have this picture. Awesome asks her why she's still working on this when she should be getting ready for Sarah's bachelorette party. Ellie promises she'll put it away as soon as the party begins. Awesome goes upstairs to finish packing for the "dude trip." He's all pumped up: "Vegas, baby! Vegas!"
Buy More. Jeffster! are also excited for Vegas, judging by their crazy gear. Lester asks Morgan which casino they're hitting up first, since he's got a "fat stack burning a hole in my crotch." Morgan says he doesn't know, though, because he put Awesome, a Vegas expert, in charge. They ask Casey which casino he loves, but he says the best things about Vegas are the gun ranges. He brought some of his "fancy targets." He opens a binder to display a picture of Osama bin Laden with a target on his head. I knew it was Casey, not Jack Bauer, who killed bin Laden. Or maybe they worked together? What a team those two would make, right? Terrorists beware! Big Mike comes up and sulks because Morgan's mom won't let him go to Vegas. Morgan falls victim to the Big Mike pouty face and tells him to march into the house and tell his mom that he has to work at the Buy More all weekend. And Morgan promises to vouch for him. Big Mike hugs Morgan and tells him this is the greatest thing a white person has ever done for him.
In their crazy giant bathroom, Sarah's taking a bubble bath while Chuck's packing. He wonders what a bachelor should wear to Vegas, and Sarah tells him that a bachelor does not wear that. We finally see Chuck, in beach shorts, a button-up shirt and a sport jacket. He wonders why she's not digging the business up top, party below the waist look he's got going. Then he comments on her sexy bathing, and she says she's just reminding him what he'll be missing while he's in Vegas. He promises to remember, then asks what Ellie's planning for her. Sarah says she has no idea because every time she tries to get information from Ellie, she's on their dad's computer. Chuck says that Ellie's always been into puzzles. One of his earliest memories is when she solved the twelve-sided Rubik's cube before he'd gotten his out of the box. Sarah asks if Chuck's told Awesome that he knows he didn't swap out the hard drive. Chuck says he hasn't talked to him yet, but plans to this weekend. He can't imagine a better place for a sincere, heartfelt conversation. Sarah scoffs that he's really never been to Vegas.
When Chuck shows up to get Awesome later, Ellie quickly hides the computer in her bag and answers the door. She lies that she was reading a book, and Chuck tells her she doesn't have to lie; he knows she's planning Sarah's party. Awesome comes down and tells Chuck he's going to make a man out of him this weekend. Then Awesome grabs one of the two identical bags from the living room and leaves. Somewhere else, Sexy Lady and Riley lock in on the computer's location in Echo Park, Los Angeles. Cake.
Awesome is driving the gang -- Chuck, Morgan, Jeffster!, and Big Mike -- in a stretch Hummer toward Vegas. He tells them to get ready, because even if they've been to the city of sin before, they've never been with him. Chuck thanks him for planning this trip. Awesome tells him he lives for this. Then he tells everyone they need to think of this weekend like a war (Casey's listening!), and "when we get there, we immediately take over the Strip." Lester says "high-rollin' on the strip" and throws a bunch of coins in the air, which come crashing down all over everyone. Morgan asks what the hell, and Lester says he's making it rain. Then he adds, "Dollar, dollar coins, y'all." Awesome tells Lester to save his energy because Vegas is the land of excess. "And for those who like to chase tail, there is plenty of that, too." Big Mike tells them to rest up since they might not sleep again for a long time. Just like The Hangover.
Soft, relaxing music takes over for the party themes thumping in the Hummer as we cut back to Sarah and Ellie, toasting Champagne over Ellie's kitchen table. Sarah asks about the plans, and Ellie says they're going to a spa the day to do body scrubs and massages. Sarah's clearly annoyed, but tells Ellie it sounds relaxing. Ellie tells her to get ready for some hardcore aromatherapy.
Awesome arrives at his destination and tells everyone it's time to tear this town a new one. They all jump out, excited and screaming. They're all out of the car before they notice they're in an outdoor camping area, not Las Vegas. Chuck points it out to Awesome, but Awesome shows him the campsite's sign. "Welcome to Las Vecas Nevada State Park." Chuck wonders if Awesome's been saying "Las Vecas" this whole time and Awesome wonders what else he would have been saying. Chuck: "Las Vegas." Morgan wonders why Awesome said they were going to the "city of sin." Awesome says it is the city of Cinn... amon Falls. They ask about taking over the strip, and he says he was referring to the mining strip to their campsite. Lester asks about chasing tail, and Awesome clarifies he was talking about the huge yellow-belly marmot population here. "They love being chased." Casey's cool as long as he can set up a gun range. Awesome tells him this is nature's gun range. Lester asks Jeff if he's okay, and Jeff excitedly says he knew they were going to Vecas. He's going to find some magic fungus in the hills, and maybe chase a little tail.
Back at the apartment, Sarah tells Ellie she better go rest up for the big day, but Ellie says this is her bachelorette party, and they have to get her tired before she gets to rest. She leads her back to her and Chuck's place, where a bunch of girls are waiting to yell "Surprise." Ellie asks Sarah if she really thought she was going to take her to some lame spa. Then she tells Sarah that the Cat Squad was away in Libya, so these are Ellie's work friends and some people from Wienerlicious. Really? And the spa idea is "lame"? I'd take a spa day over most anything, but who wouldn't take it over partying with non-friends? Sarah and Ellie, I guess. Sarah gets a text just then from General Redhead telling her there's a security breach in the Orion computer.
Back at Las Vecas, Awesome's getting everybody pumped up to forage, but Lester's having none of it. Chuck says he knows they were expecting Vegas, but Awesome worked really hard to put this together. Morgan thinks a hike does sound fun; he's never done that before. Chuck says this weekend is about bonding, isn't it? Lester says it's really not, and Big Mike agrees that it's about steaks, gambling, and getting into some weird stuff that might haunt you for life. Lester would like a word with Big Mike, so they step aside. Lester says he has a plan, but Mike doesn't need to hear it; he's in.
Sarah calls Chuck, who doesn't answer, and asks him if he knows where Ellie keeps their dad's computer because she needs to get it back to Castle. Ellie and the girls surround Sarah then, though, to put a toilet paper dress on her. Really? Is that a thing? They even put a toilet paper bow in her hair. As Ellie's wrapping Sarah in toilet paper, Sarah tells her they have to get the computer to a secure location now. She asks what happened, and we cut to Riley, who says they're getting close to the computer. Ellie and Sarah go back to Ellie's place, but she finds that Awesome took the wrong bag, and must have the computer. Some henchmen types in suits start to sneak up at what looks like the courtyard as Sarah assures Ellie that Awesome's not in any danger. They hear a noise and head back into the courtyard. The henchmen, all dressed in black, walk up then and single out Sarah. Then they start stripping, because apparently that's what Ellie hired them to do. It's really weird and creepy how they all dance around and get up in Sarah's face. All the while, she's trying to call General Redhead to be put in touch with "our agents in Las Vegas." All the other ladies at the party seem to be into it, though, so at least the stripper money didn't go to waste.
Meanwhile, Riley and the sexy lady arrive in the woods, since the computer's led them there. Chuck and Awesome are hiking alone, which Chuck uses as an opportunity to tell Awesome he knows he didn't take the hard drive out of Orion's computer. Awesome apologizes, but he just couldn't take that happiness away from Ellie. Chuck gets it and is happy she's happy and that she's continuing the work, but he feels like the secrets are tearing his family apart. Casey and Morgan quietly sneak up then, and Casey shushes them and asks them to get down and kill their lights. They watch Riley and the sexy lady go through everything until they find the computer. Chuck wonders why Awesome brought it and he, too, realizes he took the wrong bag. Riley tells the sexy lady that this is what Ms. Volkoff wants. Chuck tells Awesome she's no one and it's complicated, but Morgan simplifies it: She's Chuck's nemesis. Jeff stumbles into camp and asks Riley and the sexy lady if they're here for the bachelor party. He assumes she's a dancer, and starts offering her dollar bills. Awesome wonders who Agent X is, and Chuck says he thinks it's him. Awesome apologizes for letting Ellie touch the computer. Morgan apologizes for letting Awesome plan his bachelor party.
Down in the camp, sexy lady's tying Jeff up. He thinks it's all part of the fun, and keeps moaning and screaming "Let's get this party started!" Riley tells her to torture him, and, if he doesn't talk, see that he never talks again. Up in the trees, Casey starts rubbing dirt on his face. Sexy lady gives Jeff truth serum, and the guys in the trees worry about Lester and Big Mike possibly wandering in. A guy sneaks up on the gang, and Casey breaks his neck. He says he'll draw the rest of the mercenaries -- all former Green Berets -- out of the woods and they'll take them on with homemade spears. Chuck, meanwhile, will go down and free Jeff.
Big Mike and Lester aren't at any risk of joining the party any time soon. They're busy using GPS in the Hummer to search for the nearest casino. Lester thinks they should stay local, but Big Mike would like to go all the way to Vegas. He turns on the Hummer to get the hell out, but Lester stops him and says they can't just leave the others; "they could die out here." Big Mike: "Take the drama down a notch." Lester says he really only cares about Jeff. They battle over the steering wheel.
Morgan and Awesome sit and make the spears. Morgan gets a splinter, and freaks out about it. Awesome asks him if he's ever killed a man, and they small talk about it (he hasn't, but pretends he has at first) while Casey quietly kills a mercenary behind them, and another one. And a third. Finally Awesome asks if they hear something, but Morgan says it's jitters. Casey approaches and asks how the spears are coming. They tell him they're really sharp and really feel bad for those mercenaries. Casey says they ought to, since they're all dead. He just had them making spears to keep them out of his way. Brilliant!
Chuck's heading into the camp to free up Jeff when Riley calls his men on his radio. Casey replies and tells him he's out of friends. Sexy lady tells Riley the captain's unconscious. Riley orders Jeff -- who's passed out from the truth serum, apparently -- dead, and she heads to do it, which is the perfect time for Chuck to come in and flash to save him. They knife fight as Riley sneaks away to find the others. He only finds his own dead man in a tree, though. Sexy lady stabs the Orion computer and ends up on top of Chuck, when Casey comes over and knocks her off of him. He apologizes for interrupting Chuck's lap dance, and they all take off to the Hummer. Riley radios for help. The gang pretends to Big Mike and Lester that they're getting out of here because Jeff's having a bad trip. Jeff wakes up enough to call this the best party ever. "Vecas, baby!"
Back at the apartment courtyard, Sarah greets Chuck and asks where they've been since no one could find them in Vegas. Chuck says it's the wrong Vegas. She asks about the laptop, and Chuck says Vivian sent a team to try to get it. Awesome says Ellie has no idea what she got herself into, and that the girls would have been ambushed if he hadn't grabbed the wrong bag. Sarah agrees and says Ellie deserves to know, and she'll tell her. But Chuck's ready to tell her. Sarah te
lls him he'll have to tell her the truth about him, and he says he knows.
He's waiting in her apartment, when she comes downstairs and asks why he's home. He told her they had to cut the bachelor party short, but there's something on his mind. He says they've always been able to tell each other everything, but lately... She knows where he's going, and ends up admitting what she's been doing. He then admits that he already knows. She asks why they're here, but it dawns on her: "You're still a spy." He says she just Rubik's cubed him again. She says he's obviously meant for bigger things than the Buy More, so she's not mad. She's just mad he didn't tell her. But she gets it, since she did the same thing. She tells him there will be no more secrets. So he takes her to Castle. She's impressed and asks what they're guarding that's so important. Chuck's like, "Well, uh, me." He tells her he's the Intersect in that project their dad's been working on. She doesn't believe it, so Morgan grabs a knife and runs at Chuck until he flashes on it and does some crazy ninja moves to take the knife and slice the arms off Morgan's shirt. He also speaks Japanese while he does it. Morgan's all cool with the '80s sleeveless look.
Ellie can't believe how amazing their dad is, since he actually made this happen. Then she notices her stabbed computer and asks what happened. She wanted to use it to find Agent X. Chuck says he is Agent X, duh. If only it were that simple... She tells him that can't be the case unless he gave him the Intersect before he was born. It was November 21, 1980 (how old is Chuck supposed to be, anyway?), when he input the Intersect into an operative. Sarah marvels at there being a Intersect. Ellie explains that Agent X became his cover identity and their dad must have felt responsible so he spent his whole life looking for him. Ellie's disappointed that they won't be able to find him now, with the broken computer. Chuck says he didn't spend ten years in the Nerd Herd for nothing, and sends Morgan to get his computer-fixing tools.
Buy More. Big Mike's disappointed he's here, and his cover story became the truth. He doesn't want to waste his free party pass. Lester asks if they're going to the real Vegas, but Big Mike says they'll go to Reno instead.
Castle. Chuck works like a surgeon on the computer while Morgan hands him his tools like a good scrub nurse. Chuck fixes it all up, and Ellie pulls up all of the files she's freed. The Agent X file has all been redacted except for the name Hartley. Ellie says he left this one other thing, too. She shows them the picture of the old house, and Chuck flashes on the house's location. Ellie's amazed at the Intersect at work. Chuck notices the date on the computer is a week before Agent X went missing. They wonder if it's his home, or a safe house of some sort. Chuck tells Ellie they're on their way to find him, because the people who put the hole in Dad's laptop are looking for him too. She wants to go with them, but Chuck reminds her she's got a baby at home. She worries about him, but Chuck says, "Don't worry. It's what I do."
Chuck, Sarah, and Casey find the house in England. When they knock, it's a little old lady who invites them in to use the phone (they pretend they're broken down) and offers to make some tea. The three sit in a very British floral living room wondering is she could be Agent X or poisoning their tea. She comes back and they're all afraid to drink. But they do it anyway. The British lady asks where they're all from, and Chuck and Sarah say they're married, and they picked up a hitchhiker (that would be Casey). Sarah says that her father knew a man named Hartley who lived here. The lady says she isn't related to him, but knows him. He was a tenant, and a bit of a recluse. She says she doesn't know what happened to him. Chuck suggest they leave, but she says she has a box of Hartley's personal effects, if Chuck could give her a hand getting it, since it's a bit heavy.
In the hall, she asks Chuck to wait while she grabs something. When she's gone, he flashes on a photo of a young boy with a woman. It's Hartley, meaning she obviously knows the guy. She comes back down then with a shotgun and points it at Chuck. She asks what he wants with her son, and blames the government for taking him away. She says he never should have been sent undercover, since he was a scientist. She says that the CIA disavowed him when no one could bring him in, and no one lifted a finger. Chuck says that someone did: His dad spent his whole career trying to find Hartley. She immediately realizes Chuck's father is Stephen Bartowski, and puts down the shotgun. Chuck asks if she knew his dad, and she says of course; he and Hartley were close. She asks, hopefully, if Chuck's going to fix her son.
Sexy lady, Riley, and the gang show up outside. They see the vehicle Chuck, Sarah, and Casey drove and realize someone beat them here. They start shooting up the place. Casey thinks they were followed, but Hartley's mom says they're not following them; they're here for the same thing Team Bartowski came for: Hartley's spy will. She tosses a key to Sarah to go get it from a vault in the cellar while she and Casey keep shooting from the window (but only after she gets a real gun instead of his government-issued "pea shooter"). Casey watches in amazement as she masterfully shoots the machine gun. Downstairs, Chuck and Sarah find the spy will just as Hartley's mom runs out of bullets. Casey asks now what, and she starts placing explosives and grenades everywhere. Casey says she's like the mother he never had. She "awww"s and tells him he's charming. They head outside and hide while Riley's people all head inside (except for Riley, of course). When they're all in. Hartley's mom pulls the yarn she's tied to all the grenades, and the whole house blows up. She laughs like a maniac and sends them away with the spy will. Casey loves this woman.
Big Mike, Lester, and Jeff are on their way to Reno in Big Mike's "luxurious yet practical" product-placement Toyota. Driving montage to Billy Ocean. Then they arrive, with Jeff behind the wheel. They all hop out, excited, until they realize it's another campsite. Lester tells Jeff it's not Reno, but Jeff points to a sign: "Renauz, British Columbia." Big Mike starts to beat the crap out of Jeff, but Lester tells him to "stop the killing." Because he's spotted a casino over yonder. They all perk up and head over.
Castle. They're back with Ellie, who asks if they're waiting for a code or something to open the spy will (which has its own code on top; it says "27r3zm7Adc"; I have no idea what it means). Chuck says he was just waiting to open it with her. Chuck and Ellie discuss the magnitude of what's inside that box: Agent X, their dad's obsession, the reason their family fell apart. They open it up and find some stuff that says "Hartley Winterbottom" on it, including a photo... of a young Alexei Volkoff. Casey takes the computer disc and pops it onto a computer. He finds something that says this information is classified. Ellie even remembers Volkoff from Thanksgiving. She can't believe their dad created one of the world's worst criminals for the CIA. Ellie wants to tell their mom, and Chuck thinks she was trying to fix this, too. Sarah wants to call General Redhead. But Casey tells them they pretend they never saw this. He calls them to the interrogation room.
Once there, he unplugs the cameras and audio. He tells them this ends here. Ellie says their dad wanted them to figure this out, and there must be a reason. But Casey says the CIA "created one of the most murderous men in history. Some powerful people spent an enormous amount of energy covering that up. You know what happens if they find out we know? They order a guy like me to put a bullet in each one of our heads. I'm pretty sure your dad didn't want this to end that way."
At home later, Ellie asks Chuck if they're supposed to sweep this under the rug. He says it's the CIA, and there are rules. She wonders what about their dad, and Chuck says maybe he just wanted them to work together, to be honest with each other. As Casey carries the spy will to his secret room in Castle, Ellie says that was only half of it. She wonders what if they're supposed to fix Agent X. "This isn't for the CIA to solve, Chuck. I think this is for us." They're Bartowskis after all. Casey locks up the spy will, and the episode ends.
time: Announcer guys tells us it's just two weeks until the wedding, but there's a problem. Casey tells Chuck his mom might not make it to the wedding, because she's been taken by Vivian Volkoff. But she's not going to stop at Chuck's mom. On the phone at what I guess is his rehearsal dinner, Chuck listens to Vivian tell him to look around at all of his family and friends and ask himself which one she's going to take. He looks at Morgan and Awesome, Casey, Alex and Ellie, Sarah. Chuck begs her not to do this, but she says she already has. Chuck yells "Help me" and we see Awesome take off running -- presumably to help.
DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, thinks this season must be almost over because it's getting intense. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.
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