Chuck and Sarah's first assignment as a super-spy couple is... to observe an older couple's assignment. Sounds boring, right? Well, it mostly is, but thankfully the older couple being played by Swoosie Kurtz and Fred Willard makes it somewhat more enjoyable. Chuck and Sarah follow and observe on their mission to steal software from a German bad guy named Otto. They attend a party as his mansion, but Fred and Swoosie quickly get in a fight (he's a flirt, she's a drinker) and it devolves quickly into a spectacle. Sarah and Chuck take over and get the software -- off of a Bengal tiger's neck! -- only to have it stolen from them by Fred and Swoosie, who were faking the problems just to do this very thing. Then they run. Chuck and Sarah report back to Agent Redhead that her uber-CIA couple are traitors, but she can't believe it. She tasks Chuck and Sarah with finding them, which they do. They get them back to Chuck's apartment, with the software, when Otto and his tiger show up. Fred and Swoosie escape from their handcuffs and save Chuck and Sarah while Morgan -- who's been in training with Casey all episode to get to be part of the team -- proves his courage by running across the quad to lure the tiger away from Casey and into Awesome and Ellie's apartment. Chuck and Sarah ultimately help capture Otto and Fred and Swoosie. Then they defend them in front of Agent Redhead. And the veteran couple quits, passing the torch to this new amazing CIA couple. Casey graduates Morgan, even though he failed every test. Because it takes balls (and idiocy) take on a tiger. And the CIA needs nothing like it needs balls (and idiocy).
Meanwhile, Awesome and Ellie are in the Congo. Ellie's not loving it, so Awesome's sweet and helpful. They meet their Doctors Without Borders leader, who talks Ellie into liking it here, because it's worth it to help all of these people. Just when she's learning to be happy, Awesome gets sick and they head off for the airport. Their Doctors Without Borders leader, Justin, tells her he made it possible for them to easily clear Customs, so she thanks him, sorry they have to leave so soon. He tells her there's other ways to help back home, and Awesome will be fine. When she drives away, he pulls out a Ring phone and calls someone to say that he "made it look like malaria" and Ellie doesn't suspect a thing. Uh-oh. They can't hurt Awesome. On the plus side, it looks like Ellie and Awesome's trip to Africa wasn't a way to write them off the show.
Instead of a few things Chuck wants us to know, Morgan introduces us to his boss, Chuck, and his girlfriend, via Hart to Hart-style fake opening credits (thanks to Trini Girl for pointing out what show that was; I was stumped). Then we get a zoom-in on Morgan's eye (think Lost gimmick), as he wakes up from his dream about Chuck and Sarah. When he heads to the kitchen for a midnight snack, he thinks Chuck's there, but it's Sarah in a skimpy nightie. She offers Morgan orange juice, but he starts in about "vitamin Cs," "vitamin Ds" and "jugs," so she walks off. morning, Chuck comes out all smiley, and Morgan finds his happiness insulting to the people in the house who aren't having sex. And he'd like Sarah to wear more clothes, since he has started wearing pajamas on her account even though he likes to sleep in the nude. Chuck says to expect her there more since he's going to ask her to move in. She's standing behind him, so Morgan leaves them alone to talk about it. She wonders why they'd move in together, and doesn't want to mess with a good thing. Plus, they're not a normal couple. She opens the couch and grabs a gun. Chuck scolds her for having guns in his house, but she tells him about the 30-foot rule: No agent should be without a weapon. He says the Bartowski rule is "No guns in my apartment." She says not if he wants to live with a spy.
Cut to the Congo, where Ellie and Awesome are arriving at a new clinic. She's leaving a message on Chuck's phone until Awesome tells her they're there and she gets off. They get out in the rain, and Ellie's stressed about the men walking around with guns and the not showering or sleeping. Awesome reminds her it's the toughest job you'll ever love, and offers to make her dinner under the stars that night. They kiss, all happy.
Back at Castle, Chuck and Sarah are getting their mission, which is to observe spy power couple the Turners. No one knows who they are until General Redhead gives code names, some of which ring bells for Casey and Sarah. In other words: They're legends. General Redhead says that, since Chuck and Sarah insist on being a couple, she wants them to see how it's done since the Turners have been married for thirty years, "more or less." Casey's assignment is to get Morgan field-ready. He doesn't want to, but General Redhead tells him he's a diamond in the "very, very rough," and she's sure he can make him sparkle. Casey grunts.
Chuck's nervously tidying his apartment in preparation of the Turners' arrival. Sarah thinks he's being crazy, but Chuck doesn't want the Turners to think "they're a couple of rubes." Fred Willard and Swoosie Kurtz walk up, making fun of where Chuck is stationed since they used to be put up in five-star accommodations on the government's dime. Chuck and Sarah, arm-in-arm, greet them at the door. Fred Willard, disgusted, turns to Swoosie and says, "Dear god, it's us thirty years ago." Chuck, excited, tells Sarah to look; it's them in thirty years. Opening credits, after which Fred and Swoosie are regaling Chuck and Sarah with Cold War tales, the gist of which is that they were very good at their job and Fred's a bit of a womanizer. And by "a bit" I mean so much that they've been divorced and married several times. Fred: "Some women are too special to marry just once." Everyone laughs awkwardly. Oh, and Swoosie doesn't drink, but Fred loves Manhattans, but the one they've served him didn't have the right type of cherry, which you can only get at the Grand Ambassador Hotel in L.A. Fred and Swoosie let Chuck and Sarah know what the night's mission will be: The target is Otto Von Vogel, who's created an encryption program that renders CIA security useless. They're going to his party that night to steal the software. Chuck and Sarah's job? "Watch and learn." Chuck's giddy about it. Sarah is not.
Buy More. Morgan's following Casey around wondering when he's actually going to get to be a spy and "put the hurt on some terrorists." Morgan grabs him forcefully and yells at him, says he knows nothing about being a spy and so Casey can teach him everything. Right here in the store.
The Turners and Chuck and Sarah arrive at a mansion party, where an older looking guy is creeping it up in the doorway, greeting guests. Chuck assumes he's Otto (but why wouldn't he flash on him? Isn't that what this show is?), and they all head in. Chuck is pretending he's the Turners' nephew, Bernard. But Fred says, on second thought, let's say Sarah's their niece. "No offense." Inside, Chuck and Sarah talk about what makes the Turners so good. Well, Chuck talks about it. Sarah seems mostly underwhelmed. Then Otto starts walking toward them. The Turners create a diversion by stopping Otto to make small talk. He says they weren't on the guest list, but then laughs and says he was kidding. I don't know who we're supposed to think he thinks they are, but I guess it doesn't matter. Chuck tells Sarah they should take a page out of the Turners' playbook, and she worries he's going to ask her to move in again. Chuck: "No. Well, not now. Maybe later." They kiss.
Buy More. Casey tells Morgan the three qualities that make for an effective field agent: subversion, stealth, strength. Then he tasks Morgan with getting a super hot girl's phone number. Morgan thinks it's a joke, but Casey says a spy has to be able to manipulate anyone at any time. Morgan walks toward her as porny music plays and Casey growls at Morgan from afar. The girl writes something on a piece of paper and Casey's shocked, until Morgan shows him the card, on which the girl wrote, "YOU ARE DISGUSTING!!" Casey mutters, "And I thought Bartowski was hopeless."
Speaking of, Chuck and Sarah find Swoosie drinking heavily, and are puzzled since she wasn't supposed to be a drinker. They ask her if she's okay, and she points out Fred talking to a young, hot thing. And he left his mic on, so they all listen in as he flirts and says he wishes he weren't with his wife. He suggests hooking up later, so Swoosie says he's a CIA-sanctioned gigolo. She stumbles and mumbles away, saying she's still a professional and is going to steal the software. Then she falls down and Fred comes over to help. She's angry, though, so loudness ensues, drawing all the attention in the room to them. Sarah suggests to Chuck that they show the Turners how it's done, and they leave Fred lying there asking for a nurse, "someone in a short skirt." Upstairs, Chuck and Sarah find the master suite where the software's supposed to be. Chuck sneezes and wonders if there's a cat around, then finds a whip, which he whips, luring a tiger out of the closet. Even badass Sarah doesn't appear to be prepared for this. The tiger comes out, runs right to them and jumps on the bed. Chuck flashes, not on how to tame a tiger or anything useful, but on the collar the tiger's wearing, which contains the software.
Chuck and Sarah hide in a closet. He wishes he had his tranq gun, but Sarah pulls out her real one. He says, "No, I am not letting you shoot a tiger. They are endangered and majestic." In all fairness, though, a tiger living in a millionaire's mansion isn't going to help with that whole endangered thing. She asks if he has better ideas as the tiger paws at the door. Chuck thinks they need to ask themselves what the Turners would do.
Back at the Buy More, Casey tells Morgan he wants him to steal something, and he has something difficult in mind. He shows him something off-screen and Morgan groans, but then agrees.
Back in the closet, Sarah and Chuck bicker. She doesn't want to be the Turners, and would rather be eaten alive by a tiger. Speaking of, she wants to get the software and get out of there. Chuck shushes her, because he hears a familiar sound, which sounds like snoring. So we cut to Big Mike snoring and Casey's voiceover telling Morgan to steal Big Mike's key card (on a lanyard around his neck) -- as Big Mike sleeps in his office chair. Chuck and Sarah sneak out, where the Tiger's sleeping on the bed. In case we are too dumb to get the comparison here with the quick cuts and similar scenes, Chuck hits us over the head with "Look. Sleeping just like Big Mike after eating a baker's dozen."Sarah and Chuck bicker over who holds the gun on the tiger and who goes to get the collar. She gets to hold the gun because she can use one better. So that means Chuck and Morgan are sneaking up on their big snoring beasts as the same time, and trying to remove their collars. Chuck's on the bed by the tiger when he has to stifle a sneeze. Morgan's on Big Mike's desk and finally rips off the lanyard. Chuck removes the collar. Chuck sneezes and the tiger gets up and gives chase. Chuck and Sarah make it to the hall, and he asks her why she didn't shoot it since it was about to eat him. Sarah: "You said it was majestic." He acknowledges it is.
Morgan's on the desk holding the lanyard when Big Mike wakes up. His reaction is surprisingly calm: "I told you I don't like people looking at me when I'm sleeping." Morgan pretends he thought Big Mike was dead so he was up there to help him. And he has the lanyard because he thought it was cutting off Big Mike's air supply, and then he noticed it had jelly on it so he was going to take it and clean it for him. Big Mike says he's a grown man and can clean up after himself, but could Morgan please give him another donut. Casey watches with disappointment.
Congo. Ellie's loving the dinner Awesome's serving her by the river. She feels silly acting like a baby when there are people here with real problems, but he says she gets to feel how she feels, since this is hard for her. She says she's having a hard time shaking the city girl in her. But, by this point, a giant snake is coming around some grass toward her, so Awesome's no longer listening. She keeps babbling about not being outdoorsy, so he asks her not to move or breathe. She asks what he's looking at, but doesn't look that way. Another American swoops in and slices the snake in half, then introduces himself as Justin, "camp security coordinator." He tells them to set up camp a little "further away from the perimeter," since the animals get curious at night. I am apparently not outdoorsy enough to know what that means. I guess he means closer to the main camp, not so far afield. He welcomes them to Africa, and Awesome tells Ellie they're all right.
When Chuck and Sarah are leaving the mansion with the collar, discussing the lame-o Turners, the Turners step out and pull a gun on them. They say they're teaching them about spying: "Lesson 1: Trust no one but your partner." They take Otto's software, and Chuck can't believe they're doing this. Fred tells him not to feel bad, since they're the best at this spying stuff. Back at Castle, Chuck and Sarah fill General Redhead in on the situation with the Turners going rogue as Casey hovers in the background. General Redhead thinks there must be an explanation for two such dedicated spies to do such a thing. Casey volunteers to track them down, but General Redhead reminds him that he has his assignment. Chuck asks how it's going, and Casey says he makes Chuck look like a natural-born operative. General Redhead tells Casey if he can't make Morgan field-ready, she's sending them both to boot camp.
At his apartment, Chuck vents and does dishes. He tells Sarah that he's a Bartowski; this is how they deal with stress: clean. He's upset that the couple who was supposed to be their role models turn out to be traitors, so now Sarah will never move in. She tells him they're not the Turners, but he liked the idea they could become them. She says the focus needs to be on finding them, and as Chuck washes the Manhattan glass it dawns on her that they're at the Grand Ambassador, since Mr. Turner was raving about their cherries. She says the Turners picked the wrong couple to stab in the back and draws her gun, telling Chuck this is how she deals with stress. Chuck cutely says, "Here we go." And, in the Congo, Ellie helps more patients and then sort of frantically and desperately calls Chuck. She leaves him a message about how she can't talk to Awesome about anything because he was born to be here and he has a nickname that means "Superfantastic white person." Um, White Captain Awesome, maybe? She gets teary and says she's just tired, and she loves him and misses him. When she hangs up, Justin tells her if she needs to talk, she can come to him since it's just one of his jobs. She confides in him that, even as a kid, she wouldn't camp in the backyard. She's not built for this. Justin tells her he's seen her with her patients, and she is built to be a doctor here. He says it will take time to get used to the other stuff, but it's worth it. She looks around at the sick kids and injured people, smiles, and thanks him.
The Turners are both drinking in a hotel room, talking about how rich they're going to be or something. Swoosie hopes they didn't hurt "those poor saps," who reminded her of them. Fred thinks Chuck and Sarah were too in love to ever really have a career with the CIA. Swoosie: "We're not?" He says they are, but it's more like an old bourbon. She thinks he's calling her old, and that's why he was hitting on that young hussy at the party. He starts rambling, and because it's Fred Willard, I know he has to be making it up as he goes along. Swoosie talks, too, but it's not funny, so I'll just quote rambling Fred: "No, she was just part of the mission. A diversion. She was planning on having breast-enhancement surgery and asked my advice. She was obviously in awe of me, if not in love." Room service knocks at the door, and the Turners take all the precautions. He sees it's all-clear, and just a glass of wine, so they let their guard down. Which is when Sarah and Chuck sneak in through the sliding glass door and take Swoosie's gun. Fred asks how they found them, and she says they're the only room that ordered twelve Manhattans. Man, I don't know how people can spy on that much alcohol. Most people wouldn't be able to walk.
Casey's teaching Morgan to use a gun at the shooting range. Morgan knows everything about the gun because of videogames, so he thinks he'll be great at this. When he shoots, though, he ends up throwing the gun back, yelling, "I think the gun just exploded in my hand." Casey catches the gun and says there's nothing wrong with it. He orders Morgan to sit down and then lets him fire himself. Morgan says this is worse than when he got canned from Underpants, Etc. Casey says this isn't the end of the world, and he'll be there for Morgan like Morgan was for him when he was out on his ass with the agency. Morgan tries to hug him and call him a friend, but Casey pushes him away and says to keep that on the down-low. Morgan agrees, and tells Casey he's the best person who's ever fired him.
Chuck and Sarah have brought the Turners back to their place, where they have them handcuffed. They try to pretend they didn't do anything wrong and there's no evidence of any wrongdoing. But their bickering tends to end up with them blaming each other for what they did, so it's the same as confessing. Chuck finally yells at them to be quiet. He says it's one thing to betray the agency, but it's another to betray the agency. Chuck says they were supposed to teach them to be a great spy couple. Fred says to check back with him in thirty years, since the CIA has a way of breaking young idealists in love. There's a knock at the door, which they assume is the marshals, but Chuck sees Otto through the window -- "and his pussycat." Chuck thinks the Turners must have sold them out to Otto, until Sarah finds a tracking device in the tiger's collar. The Turners want backup guns, and Fred says Chuck's surely heard of the 30-foot rule. Chuck goes to the couch, which has been emptied of weapons. He and Sarah start to bicker: She says she got rid of them, and Chuck's like, "You actually listened to me?" She can't quite believe it herself. And she left her guns from the hotel in the car, because he told her no guns in the apartment. They handcuff the Turners in the bathroom.
Chuck answers the door and lets Otto in. He and Sarah play dumb, and then pretend they crashed his party as a joke. Otto asks where the CIA agents are hiding, and says he knows this is a CIA safe house and Chuck and Sarah are spies. Chuck laughs and tells Sarah that this is probably a practical joke from her brother. He says he does feel a little like James Bond, and Sarah could be Octopussy or something. Otto just wants them to hand over the Turners, and he points a gun at them. Chuck asks for a moment with his girlfriend. When their backs are turned, he whispers that they should sell the Turners out, but she won't do it. They agree they aren't going to end up traitors, so they don't do it. Then the tiger finds the room it was looking for, so Otto has his men take it outside. In the bathroom, the handcuffs are off and the window's open, but the Turners aren't there.
Casey and Morgan arrive at the apartment complex and find a guard (apparently?) knocked out or dead. Inside, Chuck can't believe the Turners left them holding the bag again. Otto points his gun at him and says it will be the last time. Chuck begs him to let them help them hunt down the Turners, since they betrayed all of them and are the lowest of the low. The Turners come back in with guns, then, and tell Otto to let Chuck and Sarah go. Sarah finishes Chuck's sentence: "... But, they are not without their merits." Casey and Morgan spot the tiger and hide behind a bush, as the Turners say they're showing Chuck and Sarah they're not traitors. Outside, Morgan says Casey is important, but if Morgan dies it's not big deal. Casey sort of shrugs in agreement about that, which is awesome. Morgan says there is a way he can serve his country, though. He's going to lure the tiger into Ellie and Awesome's apartment. He runs and the tiger chases him. Otto hears her growl and turns away just long enough for Chuck to kung-fu flash and he and Sarah knock them out. They end up with guns pointed at the Turners, whose guns are pointed back at them. Morgan runs up the stairs from the tiger and swings on a curtain out the window. I'm not sure why the tiger doesn't follow him, but Casey's there to catch him in his arms. It's very loving. Morgan says he told him he was good for something: Tiger bait.
Back inside, Sarah tells the Turners they have to bring them in, and Swoosie says she would have done the same thing thirty years ago. Fred says she actually would have shot them for what they did. Chuck says that would be justifiable. But unnecessary since they saved them. He lowers his gun, and Fred takes Swoosie's away from her. Sarah lowers hers. The Turners hug, as Chuck and Sarah look on with a little sorrow. Back at Castle, the Turners and Chuck and Sarah are checking in with General Redhead, who tells them they did good work and that their cryptographers (are those like the crypt keeper?) are analyzing Otto's data so the nation's communications network remains secure. General Redhead wants to move on to the Turners and their actions, but Chuck and Sarah come forward on their behalf. Sarah says their double-cross was a triple-cross, and they used that to lure Otto away to their apartment, where they could capture him. General Redhead would expect no less, and hopes Sarah and Chuck learned from them. Chuck says they did. Then the Turners announce they're retiring, to the protests of General Redhead, who says they're the best of the best and wonders who will possibly take their place. Hello, anvil! They look at Chuck and Sarah, and he's honored, all, "Really? Us? Thank you!" General Redhead shuts herself off with no goodbye, then the Turners wish Chuck and Sarah "many happy marriages" on their way out.
In the Congo, Ellie and Awesome are helping people. She's finally seeming to enjoy it, which makes Awesome happy. Morgan finds Casey and asks him to please tell him Chuck's joking about sending him to boot camp, where they'll make him shave his beard. Casey tells him to relax: He passed, even though he failed every test and his hands-down the worst candidate Casey's trained. Because he has one thing going for him: "You got balls." He also adds that "You'd have to be a complete idiot" to go up with a Bengal tiger unarmed. And, apparently, being an idiot is what the CIA's looking for. Morgan says that's him in a nutshell, and Casey walks off while he's talking. Back at the apartment, Chuck can't believe that everything's shredded at Ellie and Awesome's. He says they have to get the place fixed up before Ellie and Awesome get back, but Sarah says she was going to start with "our place." He asks what that means, and she asks if his offer still stands. It obviously does, because then they're at their place, where she tells him she's sorry she freaked out but she's never had anything normal. He tells her he's sorry, but they'll probably never have a normal life. She says she wants something to fall back on when their spy life is over. He smiles and they kiss. Awww. I do love them as a couple.
Back in the Congo, Ellie finds Awesome in their tent, shaking and sweating with a terrible fever. She goes for help and soon enough they're hauling him away on a stretcher. Justin finds her and says he alerted the airport and they'll be able to skip Customs and go straight home. She can't believe they're leaving so soon, but he says there are plenty of ways to help back home. The truck leaves with them in it, and bad-guy music kicks up as Justin pulls a Ring phone out of his pocket. He says, "They just left. I took care of the husband, made it look like malaria. She doesn't suspect a thing." To prove it, she looks back at him and waves once more. In other words, the Ring most definitely knows who Chuck and his family are, and can get to them even in Africa. Uh-oh.
week: Chuck's been having strange, vivid dreams. Ellie believes Casey's a bad man they need to get far away from. Christopher Lloyd tells Chuck he's removing him from field duty, then Chuck punches a guy in the face, knocking out a tooth. General Redhead says the Intersect is overwhelming Chuck's brain and Sarah tells Christopher Lloyd she needs Chuck to be okay.
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DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, knows we're getting toward the end of the season when the previews start looking that good. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.