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Casey is trying to get accustomed to his life as a civilian and, obviously, every single last one of his coworkers at the Buy More is making it really hard for him to tolerate not killing them all. Big Mike and a shit ton of Subway product placement decide that the best way to help Casey not murder his coworkers (with one thumb and his eyes closed) and avoid a Buy More lawsuit is to …get a new outfit! Because apparently Big Mike has been reading Barbie's Guide to Management. Again. Once Casey has the new suit, Big Mike starts working on a new attitude, too, and arranges a sit-down with Jeff and Lester at (of course) Subway. If Casey can stomach lunch (and more integrated advertising) with those two, then he can most likely make it as a civilian.
Sarah and Shaw are back from their (air quotes) work trip with a final exam for Chuck. If he passes the test he gets to be a real spy. You know, one whose cover doesn't involve working at a watered-down Best Buy. He JUST has to bust a mole who is selling off the CIA's secrets. Of course there is never just a "just". Of course Sarah has to proctor Chuck's final exam and keep score for his permanent record, so they get some quality alone time. Obviously it is all a bit bittersweet, what with Chuck about to make it big in the spy world and her about to head to connubial bliss in Washington DC. So, Chuck decides to take it from bittersweet to fully awkward and decides to make a final bid for Sarah's affections. And if Shaw would stop interrupting their moments she might actually go for it.
It's time for the final exam and Chuck spends a lot of time talking to his watch before realizing that the meeting is taking place inside the steam room, which is hell on the recording glasses but good for seeing Chuck without a shirt, if you are into that sort of thing. With some help from the Intersect, he manages to out-muscle the muscle AND keep his towel covering his boy bits. This gives him the courage to complete his mission without putting on pants (or underwear) because apparently spies and commandoes have that in common. Chuck passes the test, identifies the mole, and prepares for life as a real-life grown-up spy.
To Chuck's glee, Sarah arranges a dinner date with him for that evening. Of course everyone but Chuck seems to realize that it's not a date. But even Sarah doesn't know that Chuck's REAL spy test is tonight: To really become a spy, he has to kill the mole. Chuck goes to meet Sarah and after some nervous jibbering, Sarah breaks it to him that they are not on a date, and that to complete his mission he has to kill the traitor. To add insult to injury, she won't be getting back together with him either. So Chuck goes after the mole and after a slap fight in the bathroom, the spy formerly known as Chuck decides not to kill the mole, but to make a citizen's arrest, which obviously doesn't go particularly well. When the traitor escapes, Chuck gets a little help from his friends to make the kill. And then he becomes a man. Complete with gun, badge, and plane ticket to his new life. Mazel Tov! But, but, but… what will Ellie say? How will Morgan possibly survive without his bestest friend? And will Sarah ever be able to live with the guilt of turning Chuck into a monster?
Watch the full episode here, then discuss itin our forums. Then see which Chuck character we want to spend 24 hours with!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!A middle aged man in a suit is being chased through a train yard. Sadly, not by a pack of angry shovel- and pitchfork-wielding hobos, but by someone who bears an eerie resemblance to Chuck, except this guy has a gun... and pulled a trigger. Did Chuck buy a pair? More on that later, no doubt, but first we have to watch Lester and Jeff play some sort of Nerf man-hunting game in the middle of the Buy More. As Lester pleads for his life, Casey grabs them both by the scruff of the neck and sets them straight with a few quick... words. So boring. And poor Casey! He doesn't get to be a spy anymore, but he still has to work at the Buy More? In the words of Speedy Gonzalez: Ay yi yi. As Casey lectures them in his new role of assistant manager, Lester tosses a few zingers about Casey's make-believe life as a military badass, and sadly they now ring true for Casey. So he borrows a move from the Three Stooges and clocks Jeff's and Lester's heads together, despite the company-wide "No Touching" rule. But we all know that rule applied mostly to Jeff anyway. Chuck assesses the carnage and quickly deduces that without a License to Kill, Casey is a menace to society. He promises Casey that he will do everything he can to get him his job back, but it is just so sad that it has come to this. Casey, however, is much more realistic about his career prospects. He betrayed his team and his country and will now spend life in the Buy More purgatory with Jeff and Lester, who are feeling a touch litigious and want Big Mike to craft Casey into a more user-friendly model. Obviously, Casey threatens to kill Lester and Jeff in the middle of the team-building exercise. Besides, Big Mike has his back. Big Mike knows Casey is a hard worker, now he just has to make him into management material. At least while Morgan is in El Segundo. Poor Casey, fired as a spy and now playing an ersatz Morgan. Does it get any lower than that? As Big Mike spews successor-y slogans, you can see Casey assessing all the different ways he could kill Big Mike with just one finger. Poor, sociopathic Casey.
Sarah has returned from her "business" trip to Washington D.C. with Shaw. For some reason, Chuck really seems to think it was truly just business. I mean, I know he's supposed to be sort of emotionally stunted, but does he really not notice that Sarah hasn't made eye contact with him in, like, three weeks and has been spending an awful lot of time with Shaw? The general appears on the old iChat screen to explain to Chuck that he has one final test. If he succeeds in his mission, he will graduate to being a real, live, grown-up spy. One without a job at the Buy More. A spy living in Rome with a cover of a billionaire industrialist. Because, yeah, that is definitely a role Chuck could play easily. His gawky mannerisms and nonstop nervous jabbering would totally work as a billionaire industrialist in Italy. No problemo. Or however you say that in Italian. Chuck obviously gets so atwitter at the thought of becoming a real spy that he pretty much does the Hamster Dance, but more awkwardly. The general throws a wet blanket on that party when she explains that Sarah and Shaw would be based in DC, and Chuck would be the saddest, loneliest spy ever. Maybe he could take Morgan with him. The Italians would love Morgan. Before they got to know him, obviously.
Sarah breaks into Chuck's house the morning of the big test and, of course, she is proctoring his exam, because that makes way more sense then having Mr. In Charge Shaw do it. Chuck tries to make small talk, but Sarah slaps him around and tells him to focus. She hands Chuck his mission, which is wrapped in a blue sparkly bubble pack. The CIA probably got a discount at Hallmark if they bought in bulk. A recording of the General tells Chuck that his mission is to track down a CIA mole who has been passing Top Secret information to a man named Anatole. The mole has caused the death of civilians and agents. They believe Anatole is meeting the mole tonight at a hotel. Chuck needs to follow Anatole and identify the mole. If Chuck completes the mission successfully, he gets to be a real spy. Before Chuck can ask any more questions of the recording, the machine self-destructs. Which impresses Chuck with its frisson of espionage, which sounds like a perfume, but isn't. Chuck tries to get sentimental with Sarah over this, their last mission together, but even if she is vaguely feeling it, she's too good of a spy and a girlfriend to let it show. Chuck doesn't seem to notice that she keeps shutting him down, though.
Back at the Buy More, Big Mike is eating a Subway sandwich in his underwear while his tailor points out that he is losing weight. Did you get that? SUBWAY MAKES YOU LOSE WEIGHT. I'll admit the message is more palatable when it's Big Mike in lieu of Jarred, but still, WE GET IT. Big Mike has taken Casey under his massive managerial wing and has decided that if the clothes make the man, then Casey needs a makeover. Sometimes the Buy More scenes are so doofy they are hard to watch. Like, can we just get back to the spying already? Chuck has a mole to catch that is much more interesting than Big Mike's foray into Sun Tzu's Art of War -- Now With More Tailoring. As Big Mike eats his sandwich, Casey expresses doubts about the plan, but Big Mike insists. Since Casey apparently has no career alternatives, he takes a big sigh and steps up to be measured. While Big Mike watches. While eating a Subway foot-long sub. Which makes this scene sort of fetishistic.
Chuck is wearing a suit to his hotel stakeout, and when Sarah comes to monitor his progress, he surprises her with a glass of champagne, some sizzling shrimp and Hall and Oates. "Private Eyes," naturally. It's a trip down memory lane for the both of them, because it's what Chuck played on their first stakeout. Chuck starts to wear her wall of professionalism down, and she almost gets sentimental. Luckily, Shaw calls to remind her to stay true to her school. He reminds Chuck to stay focused, but Chuck wants to talk to Sarah about their future. A call from her current boyfriend does not dampen Chuck's desire to reconnect with Sarah. Besides, if he's a spy, and she's a spy, there is no reason they can't make sweet spy love together. He lays out his case and then leans in for a kiss, and -- holy hockey! -- Sarah is responding. Of course, Shaw ruins the mood again. Anatole has checked into the hotel, and Chuck has to move. Sarah heads back to HQ and leaves Chuck to his mission.
Chuck enters the hotel spa and discovers that Anatole is in the steam room. So Chuck strips down into a towel and joins the boys for an invigorating steam. Once he's nearly nude, Anatole and his muscle get called to a meeting. Actually, Ivan Drago gets called to a meeting, but much to my 12-year-old self's disappointment, Dolph Lundgren was not actually semi-nude in the steam room. Chuck tackles the muscle while neatly clinging to his towel and, I suppose, dignity, and, I suppose, 8 pm time slot. No offense to Chuck, but I don't think he would have gotten past Dolph Lungren with that towel so firmly in place. Unfortunately there is no time to both put on pants and make the meeting between Anatole and the mole, so Chuck rushes upstairs clad only in the towel. Chuck cleverly convinces the maid cleaning the room to the meeting room that he was in the shower and scares her off. He then hops out the window, seven floors up, shimmies out the window and watches the meeting taking place between Anatole and the mole. Instead of an exchange of money, Chuck sees the mole kill Anatole. Chuck still hasn't gotten a clear view of the mole's face and can't identify him, so he makes a dying bird sound and the mole comes back to peer quickly out the window. The glance is just enough for Sarah and Shaw to ID the mole. Chuck's mission is complete. He is a spy. The towel that had so diligently done its duty flutters to the ground. It was a brave little towel. It served its country (and the FCC) well. Let's take a moment of silence.
Big Mike has arranged a meeting on the neutral territory of the nearest Subway franchise for Jeff and Lester to meet the new and improved John Casey. Okay, I know Subway's financial support was instrumental in getting a third season of our beloved Chuck, and we are not supposed to balk at the Subway product placements because of such, but OH MY GOD. So after we get a five-second shot of the Subway sign (which doesn't sound like a lot until you count it out and realize that five seconds of staring at nothing but a Subway sign is really boring), Big Mike walks in decked out in his new suit and matching pocket square. Casey follows him in a light grey double-breasted number with a pink shirt, maroon tie, pink pocket square and a freaking tie clasp. He looks like the Miami branch manager of Glen Garry Glen Ross. I don't really understand the point of all this, but I guess he has to have some plotline while a civilian. So Big Mike has arranged a meeting with Jeff and Lester so that they can meet the new and improved and pimped-out Casey and drop the lawsuit they are planning on filing for hostile work environment or assault or whatever. Obviously Jeff and Lester won't make it easy on him, but after 12 minutes of egregious product placement that I am not allowed to complain about, Jeff and Lester announce their terms: Casey has to share some freshly-baked bread with Jeff. Casey takes a big old bite of Jeff's tunaroni (yes, yes, tuna and pepperoni -- check out the AS SEEN ON "CHUCK" menu time you eat at Subway, which is hopefully, often) sandwich, and their friendship or détente is sealed. There was no point to that scene other than burning through a shit ton of corporate sponsorship in five minutes flat. GO EAT AT SUBWAY OR THE PUPPY GETS IT.
High on his success, Chuck goes to visit Sarah, who is still putting in time at the Fro Yo shop, although they seem to have more Alessi than yogurt. Chuck is gloating, and Sarah is simultaneously barely tolerating and seemingly charmed by his bragging. She invites him to dinner at a restaurant in the train station that night, but I think it was less about reigniting their eternal flame (and BAM! YOU ALL HAVE THE BANGLES IN YOUR HEAD) and more about getting him to shut up. Either way, he is excited. Over at the Buy More, Big Mike is yet again espousing the virtues of Subway when Chuck stops by to pretend to work for a while, but mostly is there to gloat to Casey about passing his solo spy test. Chuck has a present for Casey to thank him for showing him the ropes to espionage. It's a gun or, in Casey's words, "A thoughtful felony." When Chuck tells him that he is meeting Sarah for dinner that night, Casey asks whether he is sure the mission is over. Chuck is sure. Casey, not so much. At CIA HQ, Sarah and Shaw discuss part II of Chuck's mission. Shaw explains that with Anatole dead, the only remaining loose end is the mole. Chuck is going to meet him at the restaurant... and kill him. Sarah is stunned. She doesn't want any part of this so-called Red Test. She doesn't even want Chuck being part of it. He's not ready, he should never be ready. Shaw doesn't really care. He also doesn't blink. Like, maybe Visine should start sponsoring this show, too, and Shaw can take a few minutes to add some Visine to his eyes and blink a bunch. That could take up at least five minutes per episode. Shaw points out the rather obvious fact that as a spy, Chuck will most likely have to kill someone and maybe he should do it now, with Sarah as back up. Sarah's not convinced.
Chuck gets all dolled up to meet Sarah at the restaurant. He doesn't wear a pocket square, though, because he has NO CLASS. Sadly, Chuck truly seems to think he is on a date with Sarah. He settles across from Sarah, compliments her outfit, and apologizes for coming on too strong last night. He just wanted to make his intentions known before things got too serious with Shaw, her boyfriend, his boss. In what universe is it okay to hit on your boss's girlfriend because you saw her first? Good grief. He is never going to make it as a billionaire industrialist with those social skills. Sarah stops him. Not just because Shaw is most likely listening, but because Chuck needs to shut up so she can tell him about the second part of his mission. She hands him another blue sparkly bubble envelope, which seem highly unprofessional even for the CIA. Inside is a photo of the mole. They have arranged for them to meet at the restaurant. Sarah swallows hard and tells Chuck that he needs to kill him. She hands him a gun discreetly wrapped in a napkin. Obviously Chuck freaks out just a little bit. Sarah remains calm and professional and reminds him that this is what spies do. [Didn't he see La Femme Nikita? - Zach] He doesn't have to do it, but if he wants to be a spy, he does. Chuck whimpers something about how if he does this they can be together? But Sarah says no, probably not, BECAUSE SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND. She gets up to leave, reassuring Chuck that they are sure of the man, and his mission is clear. She leaves Chuck alone at the table, pausing just long enough to let us know that she cares.
Chuck doesn't have time to get mopey, though, because just then the mole shows up at the restaurant. Since the mole works for the CIA, the cover is a simple exchange of information between agents. The mole splits for the restroom and Chuck follows. We see that Sarah is parked on a bench watching the events unfurl. Chuck and his gun are tackled in the restroom by the mole, who is now wielding a knife. Chuck gets sliced, he flashes and captures the guy. But he won't kill him. He'll arrest him instead! Yeah, that's the ticket! Obviously this doesn't go well, and the mole makes a break for it using some human shields, kicking a puppy, punting a kitty, and running out into the train yard with Chuck in hot pursuit. Sarah follows quickly after and they all play hide-and-seek among the train cars, which looks like fun if it weren't for all the guns. Chuck finally gets the guy in his sights, and he starts pleading for his life. Chuck's finger is on the trigger... and a shot is fired. Only Chuck didn't do it. Casey knew something was up and followed Chuck to the train yard. When the time came, he fired the money shot. Chuck knows he didn't do it, but Sarah is all choked up when she reports to Shaw that Chuck is a spy. Also, a real boy. Also, a man. Does she have to buy him a Bar Mitzvah present now?
Chuck meets up with Casey to discuss the situation in re he didn't actually pass his Red Test. Since as a civilian, killing people is frowned upon, Casey can't have Chuck telling anyone, including Sarah, that he did it. Chuck wants to know why Casey did it, and Casey shrugs that he knew Chuck wasn't going to and because he is just a little bit A SOCIOPATH. No matter what clothes he is wearing, he seems to kind of like shooting people. Hahahahahaha cold-blooded killers are funny when they are Adam Baldwin. Chuck nods, because he totally gets it. Later, Chuck calls Sarah, but she doesn't answer. He sees YET ANOTHER BLUE SPARKLY BUBBLE ENVELOPE, making me think that the CIA shops at Big Lots or Costco instead of just bulk at Hallmark, because that is a LOT of blue sparkly bubble envelopes. Inside the package is another recorded message from The General welcoming him to the agency. There is a badge and a plane ticket in the envelope, too. They want Chuck to fly to D.C. for his final induction. The message self destructs and Chuck reaches for his phone again. To try and reach Sarah. Again. He wants to tell her that they want him to fly to D.C. tonight, but she lets it go to voicemail. She is too upset at the MONSTER he has become and she blames herself for his transformation. Shaw is trying to comfort her, but he is also trying to find out whether she is still in love with Chuck. Sarah claims that she's not in love with him anymore, but there is something in her voice and mannerisms that implies that if she found out Chuck didn't actually pull the trigger that she would or at least could fall in love with him again. So door's open! Sarah then tearfully recounts her Red Test and explains that she has never been the same since. It was the worst day of her life. She walks off in tears. Meanwhile Chuck is waiting for Sarah so when there's a knock on the door he eagerly runs for it. It's not Sarah. It's a messenger: his flight to D.C. is in an hour. Is he ready?
Watch the full episode here, then discuss itin our forums. Then see which Chuck character we want to spend 24 hours with!
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