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Chuck and Jill are all cute and happy, although they're a little annoyed that Casey keeps watching them (life's tough when you're the Intersect and have to have surveillance on you at all times so you can't be alone with your hot girlfriend). Agent Redhead gives Casey and Sarah their mission: Find a list of Fulcrum agents that Gui had hidden in his hotel room. In doing this, Chuck manages to pocket dial Jill while trying to squeeze through a ventilation tube with Sarah's guidance. To Jill, this sounds like sex. Then she shows up at the hotel room right after Chuck and Sarah get out of the shower together (they were in there rinsing off Kool-Aid that they thought was poison, of course). Jill's mad, but Chuck easily and quickly talks her out of it. Maybe too easily? Then Jill helps them solve the rest of Gui's equation (the Kool-Aid was a puzzle) and they get the list of Fulcrum agents on a zip drive. But then Jill gets kidnapped by a Fulcrum agent who wants the list. Chuck gives it up, but not before using a geeky game-copying device Morgan has to make a copy. So, when the Fulcrum guy destroys the list, Chuck still has a copy to give to Casey (tempering his anger more than a little).
In the end, Chuck and Jill go home to have celebratory sex, which we get to see intercut with Casey and Sarah looking through the Fulcrum agents on the zip drive. It's all leading up to the obvious and inevitable: Jill's a Fulcrum agent. Casey and Sarah run to Chuck's to stop Jill, but Chuck's left his GPS watch and taken off with his pretty new girlfriend, a bad guy. I really hate that the show did the obvious here and took the easy way out of this relationship.
In the B plot: Some stuff happens at the Buy More. Mainly, Buster Bluth continues to be suspicious of Chuck, and Morgan proves himself (once again) to be the best friend in the whole world. I never thought I'd say this, but: More Morgan, please.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Chuck wants to remind us that he ran into Jill, and Ellie thought dating her again was a bad idea. Jill asked Chuck if his cover girlfriend would be jealous and he made out with her. We also met her boss, Gui LaFleur, who was supposedly producing a bioweapon (or an antidote), but was killed by an assassin, whom Sarah then killed. Agent Redhead wants to keep Jill around because if she knows anything, Fulcrum might come for her.
Now, Chuck's running up some stairs, acting like a spy, spraying stuff into surveillance cameras to make them blind for 20 seconds. Someone is following him. He gets to the top of the stairs and opens the door. He and Jill are on the roof of the Buy More for a picnic. He just wants to have some alone time with her without being watched by Casey and Sarah. Jill can't wrap her head around Chuck being a spy; he'd just like to soak up this beautiful view of the top of the Buy More. It's mainly a beautiful view because the government isn't watching, Chuck confesses. Who said romance isn't dead? Chuck and Jill kiss, and then he realizes there's a camera on the roof that's turning itself toward him right now. He gets up and runs over to it, yelling "Give me a break!" and "Are you kidding me?" Back at the Orange Orange Super Secret Lair, Casey's watching it on camera. Sarah thinks it's unnecessary, because he can't get into trouble on a date. Casey thinks Sarah's not making a big deal about her "supercomputer boyfriend trying to browse someone else's network," so Sarah says Chuck is entitled to a real girlfriend. The best part of this is that the whole time Casey and Sarah talk, Chuck's yelling at the camera, but we can't really make out what he's saying. It's very cute, though. Tiny yelly people who you can't understand usually are.
Agent Redhead pops up on the screen and tells Casey and Sarah she has their new mission: break into Gui's hotel room and look for a list he had of the Fulcrum CIA operatives. They are supposed to take Chuck in to the crime scene without the FBI knowing (so no one from Fulcrum is alerted) and see if he flashes on anything that might lead them to the list. Casey doesn't think it will be that hard to break into a controlled crime scene, given it's only the FBI. I love his government agency hierarchy humor, even though it really means nothing to me. Somehow Adam Baldwin totally sells it. Sarah sees Chuck on another camera as he walks into the Orange Orange, and she says she'll handle it.
Sarah walks into the Orange Orange, and Chuck greets her with a hostile, accusatory query about why there's a camera on the Buy More roof, what with its lack of terrorist activity and all. Um, Chuck, you are the intersect. The government needs to protect you. Keep up. Sarah changes the subject to tell him what the new mission is. He asks if they can talk about this tomorrow because Jill's waiting for him in the car. Sarah follows Chuck toward the door and asks if everything's all right with Jill. He says it is and asks if this is some spy thing, a psych evaluation or something. She says no, it's a friend thing. She wants to make sure he's okay. It's very sweet. He says he's great, because being with Jill is like having his old life back. He doesn't want to bash their cover or anything, but he's happy to be with someone who knows the real him. Sarah says from everything she's seen of Jill, she seems great. Chuck wonders if she might be willing to see a little less and stop spying on him all the time so he can have some privacy with his new (and old) girlfriend. She says she'll talk to Casey. Chuck thanks her and leaves. Sarah tries to shake off how emotional this whole thing is making her. Literally. I mean, she literally tries to shake it off by shaking her head.
At the Buy More, Buster Bluth is looking through invoices and finding that none of Chuck's off-site installation invoices are signed. He finds this very curious. Also at the Buy More, on the sales floor, Chuck and Casey discuss whether he can have any more privacy. Chuck appeals to Casey by asking him how many chances we get with the one who got away, but Casey tells him he's not even interested in his own feelings so he certainly doesn't want to hear about Chuck's. He wants him to keep his mind on the mission. Casey walks away and Morgan comes up to show his BFF the best thing to come from Canada since Shania Twain. It's a piece of hardware that honestly looks like the inner parts of a computer, but Morgan explains it's a game copier that will copy anything, ignoring all forms of copy protection. You know, so they never have to buy a game again. He tells Chuck it's highly illegal. Buster Bluth walks up right then and asks what's highly illegal. They both play dumb, so Buster assumes they're going to smoke weed on their lunch break. He calls it "reefer" and "ganja," and says that the loading dock is like a Five For Fighting concert at lunch. Really, Buster? Five For Fighting? Not the first band I think of when I think of concerts where pot's smoked.
Back at Chuck's, he's getting ready to go on the mission, and Jill's being all girly and possessive about him going to a hotel with his cover girlfriend. He tells her Casey's always at overnight missions, too, so there's nothing romantic about it. Jill asks if Sarah's pretty as they're walking across the courtyard to Casey's. Chuck beats around the bush, basically making it clear he thinks she's gorgeous, but without saying as much. Jill thinks the missions they go on must be exciting and romantic, but he says nothing about whether this job is glamorous or sexy. Just then, they walk into Casey's and Sarah is in a little red dress with fishnets and bright red lipstick. As sexy as she's ever been. All that and we're just now to the credits.
At the hotel, Chuck and Sarah are walking together, with Casey behind them dressed as a bellhop. Chuck wants to know why Sarah has to be dressed like that, and she explains that men in this hotel tend to pay to have sex with pretty girls like Sarah, so he needs to start selling the cover. They set up in a hotel room and change to crawl through the ventilation system to Gui's room. Chuck doesn't like it and would like to get out of here to go on a date with Jill. Sarah tells him if he goes by the cover, he should figure out how long it would take to have sex with a prostitute. Chuck's struggling in the ventilation, and accidentally pocket-dials Jill. She answers and hears him asking Sarah how long it will take them to have sex from start to finish. He's also trying to squeeze through the ventilation and she tells him to move his hips a little to the left. He says it's way more exhausting than he thought. He asks Sarah if she went to a school to learn how to do this. Jill looks legitimately pissed (keep that in mind for later), hangs up the phone (keep that in mind for later), and storms out of whatever room she's in.
Morgan goes for a snack in the back room of the Buy More, but is stopped by Buster, who's all set up at a table blocking the snacks. He tells Morgan to think of Buy More as a country (Morgan quickly names it BuyMoria, because he's thought of it as that for years). Buster says the employees are the states in the nation, and one state is looking to secede. That state is Chuck. Morgan says that Chuck is loyal to BuyMoria, but Buster doesn't get receipts for the invoices, so wants to know where he goes all the time and what he's spending money on. His guesses: uppers, glue, or a baby mama. Let's just hope not all three at once. Buster tries to get Morgan to spill, but he won't, so Buster pulls out some surveillance photos of Morgan making out with Anna in the backroom (I know it's just a photo, but how nice is it to realize they haven't forgotten Anna?). Buster says this could be grounds for deportation unless Morgan helps him help Chuck. But Morgan insists Chuck doesn't need help.
The FBI agents standing guard at Gui's room are as bad as Casey let on. They're talking so loud they don't hear Casey, Chuck, and Sarah, even when Chuck falls into the room from the ventilation chute. Meanwhile, a mysterious-looking guy gets out of a van with a tool belt on and enters the hotel. He sneaks into the security and surveillance room, and apparently cuts a feed to Casey's set-up in their staging room, because that screen goes fuzzy. Back in Gui's room, Chuck flashes on a wood box. Just then the mysterious van guy, now in a suit, shows up at the hotel room. The FBI guards tell him they didn't expect to se him today, and then he shoots them. Chuck, Casey and Sarah work on fleeing, considering they heard the gunshots. They barely get into the ventilation and get it closed before the guy enters the room. Chuck is not very good at the covert ops, apparently.
Back in their staging room, Casey asks if the word "silent" has a different meaning in geek that he's not aware of. Chuck apologizes for being such a loud doofus (especially since his phone rang while he was in there -- it was Morgan -- and he'd forgotten to put it on vibrate), but points out that at least he got the list. Speaking of the list, Sarah wants to just break the box open, but Chuck says it's a puzzle box and these are all him. He solves the puzzle on top of the box and it pops open, immediately shooting Casey and Sarah with something. Casey runs to get a containment unit, and Sarah and Chuck strip down to their undergarments and hop in the shower. They wash themselves and each other off. And while Chuck's washing Sarah's back, he has an almost slow-motion moment where you know he's thinking he's with the wrong girl because he loves this one more. But he doesn't have time to do or say anything because someone knocks and Sarah tells him to go answer it, because it's Casey. But, alas, it's Jill, wondering why she just caught Sarah and Chuck in their underwear, all wet and sexy. She says she knew something was up, gets teary and storms off. Chuck tries to stop her by saying he could be dying. Which would mean almost nothing to someone in this context, I'd think.
Casey's testing the powder to see if it's poisonous as Chuck asks nonstop questions without waiting for an answer: about the substance that sprayed on them and about Jill picking that moment to come in, and whether he's going to die. He stops after that last one, as Casey's computer thing tells him the substance is "edible." So he sticks his finger in it, tastes it, and tells Chuck he won't die, but he could add ice and sell it to kids on street corners. Chuck's like, "I knew it! Drugs?" But it's actually fruit punch. I would say something about how ridiculous this is, but Chuck beats me to the punch (pun intended) by asking if this means that not only did they get the Fulcrum list, but Jill's never going to speak to him again because she caught him rinsing off fruit punch with another woman. Casey dryly tells him it's a common spy problem. I love Casey. Have I mentioned that?
Buster's now questioning Lester at the Buy More. He's trying not to crack, saying he's not friends with Chuck, but he has nothing to tell him. He tells Buster to ask Jeff. Jeff says he doesn't rat because his mom taught him that from prison. Then they're being questioned together, and Buster tells them they can't have poker night in the backroom if they don't give him something. They tell him that Chuck's cheating on Sarah with a hot brunette. They don't know anything else about her, so Buster threatens the poker game again. Lester tells Buster that Chuck tells Morgan everything, so that's the nut he needs to crack.
Chuck's at work, leaving pathetic voicemails for Jill. Because we know he never actually works. Jeff and Lester come out and tell Morgan to give Buster something so they can keep their weekly poker game. Buster walks up as Lester and Jeff leave and asks Morgan if he's ready to help. Morgan says he will. He says Chuck's providing service on service calls, and that he has 23 years of best friendship telling him Chuck's the straightest shooter he knows. Buster sees Chuck with Jill, and points it out to Morgan. He instantly recognizes Jill, of course, and loudly says she's Chuck's old college girlfriend. He doesn't like that Chuck didn't tell him about this. Buster says they can keep their poker game and he won't tell Chuck that Morgan was the weak link.
Chuck has convinced Jill to go to the backroom. She gives him three seconds to convince her that what she saw isn't what she saw. He says it's hard because he would have to get into high-level clearance stuff to explain. But when he realizes he's not winning this one, he tells her what happened. He asks if she believes the story and she asks what kind of fruit punch. He's surprised she believes his story since he heard himself tell it and thought it sounded crazy. But she knows Gui was crazy paranoid, so she knows it's a puzzle, with fruit punch as a clue. Chuck tells her he's going to have to blindfold her and take her somewhere.
They walk into the OOSSL with Jill in a blindfold. Casey tells her the lair is not so secret if he invites people to it. But, hey, Casey, at least Jill's not a bad guy, right? Oh, wait. Chuck has Jill explain how crazy Gui was. She wants to know what kind of fruit punch, and is disgusted they didn't get the exact formula. Luckily, if there's a spectrometer, she can figure it out. As she's doing science-y stuff, Casey tells Sarah he can see what Chuck sees in Jill. She determines that the powder is Rootin' Raspberry flavored Hi-C fruit punch. Sarah thinks "high seas," but Chuck realizes it's a music box and he needs the musical note high C. They don't have an instrument, but fortunately for them (and for the world), Casey's voice is like an instrument because he took choir. He belts out a high C (or so I'll assume), and a slot in the box pops open. No one can believe Casey was a choir boy, because it's unbelievably awesome. Anyway, the compartment that pops open contains opera glasses, but Chuck quickly realizes it's a key, and the lock will be at the opera.
Casey and Sarah are arriving at the opera house, where we see what I presume is the fat lady from the episode title. She's practicing her aria in front of an empty house, but in full tacky makeup. Maybe she goes on soon? I don't get it. Sarah asks Casey whether he's concerned involving a "civilian" in a covert government operation. Casey says her knowledge of Gui makes her useful, and he thinks Sarah's just upset that Chuck likes her. Chuck and Jill are up in one of the boxes (the one where Gui sat) looking for a lock. Chuck finds it in the floor, completely obvious and shiny. He opens it and they pull out another box. The four of them meet on the stage to regroup and open the box. Just then, our mystery guy pulls up (I'll assume it's outside the opera) in his van. Back inside, they open the box, which starts counting down from 1:06, and Sarah tells Casey it's a bomb. She must have done so well in her bomb-countdown-clock detecting class at spy college.
Jill says it's not a bomb, it's a clue, because Gui wanted to help people, not hurt them. Sarah thinks she's wrong and it's too dangerous, but Jill says smugly that she's never wrong. They try to solve the puzzle, which is a sheet of music, as Casey evacuates the building. They solve the puzzle, with the bad Fulcrum guy looking on. Chuck's excited, and he and Jill kiss. Sarah can't stand it and turns the other way. Casey says he loves love, and Sarah looks at him and rolls her eyes. I like that Casey speaks up about all of this, and knows exactly where Sarah stands with Chuck, feelings-wise. He might not care about feelings, but he sure does know about them.
Back at OOSSL, Agent Redhead says the computer is trying to find an encryption key to figure out the data. She wants them to thank Chuck for his service, and wonders where he is. Casey guesses he'd be rounding second base. Sarah looks upset. Back at Chuck's, Jill and Chuck are getting hot and heavy on his bed, when he stops it, because he can't do it in front of the camera. He tells her to meet him at the Buy More tomorrow. She asks what time, and he says (I have to quote this directly): "Take the latent heat of aquatic fusion ... and subtract the atomic number of thulium." He asks if she's got it, and she does. We get a shot of Casey listening in. He says, "Nerd code," and appears to be stumped. But, um, the meeting is tomorrow, Casey. Look those things up. You have infinite resources at your disposal, I'd think. Or you can just start with Google.
The day at the Buy More, Chuck asks Morgan to cover for him with Buster. Morgan asks if it's a big night with the lady, and Chuck says it is. Morgan asks something about Sarah, and Chuck starts to agree, when Morgan tells him to save it because he knows about Jill. Morgan says they're best friends and if he's keeping this a secret, what else doesn't he know. Chuck apologizes and says there are a lot of things he wants to tell him, but can't. Morgan says Chuck's never lied to him, and Chuck tells him to trust him. Chuck has to leave, so asks if Morgan will cover for him. Morgan will, but he moralizes a bit first, saying friends lie for each other, not to each other.
Chuck and Sarah are at some backwoods-looking gas station/convenience store. I'd like to know exactly how far outside of L.A. they've gone to find a place like this. Apparently far, because back at OOSSL, Casey and Sarah look for him using his GPS watch, but he's gone "off grid." Too bad, too, because Jill's been kidnapped by the Fulcrum guy. He wants the list in exchange for Jill's life. He wants to meet at the opera house at midnight. He throws Jill in the van and drives away.
Chuck's trying to convince Casey, in the OOSSL, to let him have the list so that he can save Jill's life. Casey says that the guy's going to kill Jill whether Chuck delivers the list. Chuck pleads for help, but Casey says no; he has to call Washington and report it. Chuck grabs the zip drive that the list is on out of the decoding computer. Alarms sound and the placestarts to lock up, but Chuck narrowly slips out a gate, and then out a glass door. Casey says it's treason and tells Sarah to shoot him. She threatens to if he doesn't stop, but of course, she doesn't shoot him. He tells her he's sorry, but he has to, because "It's Jill."
Chuck's running into the Buy More, and into the backroom to get something out of his locker that we can't even see. But that's just a plot device to get him to notice the game stickers all over Morgan's locker. Hmmm, I wonder what he might be thinking. Back at the OOSSL, the alarm stops and Casey tells Sarah she could have shot him. She says she couldn't because he's the intersect. Astute Casey: "Is that all he is? You could have at least knee-capped him." She has a trace on him, though, and he's heading downtown.
thing we see is Chuck in the Nerd Herd car (maybe he was getting the keys from his locker?) pulling up to the opera. He grabs the drive before he gets out. He goes inside and sees a crying Jill being held by the Fulcrum baddie. The guy asks to dispense with the pillow talk. Chuck says he can't give up the list until he knows Jill will be safe. The guy says that's not how this works; he wants the list or they both get shot. In walks Casey, who tells the guy that's not how this works either. What follows is probably the episode's best scene, because it's all Casey being bad-ass. He tells Chuck to wait in the car, but the Fulcrum guy tells him not to move because he has a sharpshooter trained on him. Up in the box, Sarah kicks the crap out of the sharpshooter and takes the gun. Casey says he now has the sniper. The Fulcrum guy wants the list or he'll shoot Chuck. Casey agrees that's a good idea and that he was thinking of shooting him himself. They both point their guns at Chuck, and Sarah looks legitimately worried with her own gun in the box seats. Chuck wants no one to shoot him, but Casey says he's not Sarah, and if Chuck gives up the list, he'll end Chuck's miserable life. The Fulcrum guy moves his gun back to Jill, but Chuck asks him to please point the gun at him again instead. It's really sweet how willing to sacrifice himself Chuck is for someone he hasn't seen in years. Casey tells the Fulcrum guy to go ahead and shoot Jill, because sometimes collateral damage is unavoidable. Is anyone else thinking Casey just needs to see someone die to help him get out of his foul mood? Chuck gives up the list, winking obviously at Casey as he does so. The Fulcrum guy says Fulcrum would rather not know who they have inside government, and he smashes the drive and takes off, leaving Jill alive. Jill and Chuck embrace. She cries and he tells her it's okay. Sarah looks sad watching Chuck get to take care of someone else. Casey inspects the drive.
At the Buy More, it's poker night. Morgan's feeling guilty that he had to rat out his best friend to keep this, but hey, not too guilty to play. Buster walks in to play with them. Jeff drinks out of a full six pack, because he's Jeff and everything he does is insane, disgusting, or bizarre (or a combination of the three). Morgan offers beer to Buster, but Buster brought himself a wine cooler. He takes a big drink and says it "Tastes like high school!" Of course it does. Adults don't drink wine coolers, you big tool. And then Lester says, "Donkey's wild. Let's go. Who's gonna put the poker in strip poker? Let's play it out, boys. Let's play it out." I can't tell if he's just messing with Buster or not, but none of that makes sense. Because: donkeys? Strip poker?
In front of the opera house, Sarah and Jill are walking out together; Jill asks if it's a normal day of work for Sarah, who says it pretty much is other than the highlight of Casey singing. Then we pan over to Casey telling Chuck he's going to have him arrested for crimes against his country, and then he'll take him down to Guantanamo. I think he had more to say, but Chuck interrupts him to explain that he made a copy of the list. He credits Morgan, even calling the copier Canada's greatest gift since Shania Twain. Back over with Sarah and Jill, Jill thanks Sarah for saving her and apologizes for not trusting Sarah with Chuck. Sarah gives an awesome speech about how if she wants to repay her she won't hurt Chuck again. Jill says she won't because she cares about Chuck, but shut up, Jill; Sarah's not done yet. Sarah looks at her piercingly, and says she's cares about him too. She adds, "It's my job to protect him. From anything." More piercing looks. And is that worry on Jill's face? Could it be?
Buy More the day, from Buster's perspective. It's foggy and hazy. Morgan walks up and says hi in a totally normal voice, and Buster asks him to stop screaming. Morgan thinks Buster had a little too much fun last night, and Buster agrees he should never have gone for the second Fuzzy Navel. They're four percent alcohol, after all. Morgan and I both think about how stupid and annoying Buster is. But Morgan takes Buster to the screening room to show him a video he made last night of Buster, wasted on his two Fuzzy Navels, in Big Mike's office impersonating Big Mike and then flailing around and throwing up. Morgan points out that Big Mike's office is off-limits after hours. Morgan tells him he'll run this up the flagpole if Buster doesn't call off the witch hunt for Chuck Bartowski. Awww, Morgan is so the best friend ever. I want one. Morgan leaves Buster, but not before saying, "Viva BuyMoria!"
Casey and Sarah are in the OOSSL putting the list back on the computer to decode the list. Jill and Chuck are making out in his room. Music starts playing and Jill coves up the camera. Casey wants to do something about it, but Sarah asks for him to give Chuck a little break after his big day today. The decryption key is found and Sarah and Casey start watching as Fulcrum agents start popping on the screen. Chuck and Jill keep on making out. And we all know what's coming at this point. It's impossible not to. But they do take awhile getting there, so long that the tension builds to a point that it makes you crazy. And when it finally does happen, we get a long shot on a shocked Sarah and a long shot on a shocked Casey before they start running out of the OOSSL with guns in hands. Then we see what they just saw on the screen: Jill's photo. It says "Jill Roberts" and "FULCRUM: Classified - 7RCCK." Casey and Sarah head into Chuck's and it's still intercut with Chuck and Jill's sex scene. But when they show up in his room with guns, there's no one there. Just a messy bed and his GPS watch. Then we see a gleefully, heartbreakingly happy Chuck in a convertible with a suddenly suspicious-looking Jill. He tells her they're "safe at last." Yeah, except for the part where you're not safe at all, Chuck. And they drive off into the ironic sunset. So, yeah, it took only one week for them to do exactly what I said would make the show dead to me. And, to be honest, it's not dead to me. It does piss me off, but the rest of the episode was so good. I hope they can continue at this level, and I still think there's a possibility it's not what it seems. For example, couldn't Jill be undercover inside Fulcrum, like Bryce? That said, I'm still knocking this episode down a full grade from what I would have given it if that hadn't happened at the end. Because ... cop-outs hurt your grades.
Previews would seem to say otherwise, but they also told us last week that Sarah would be pointing that sniper box seat gun at Chuck. Anyway, week: Chuck finds out Jill's a spy. She points a gun at his head. And the voiceover guy tells us Chuck will be lucky to get out alive. Sarah threatens Jill. Could it be another girl fight already?
DeAnn is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.
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