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By Jeff

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I know I'm supposed to hate this show, but is it okay that I think I love it?

Our mafia of cashmere consists of Mia, Juliet, Caitlin, and Zoë. They all earned their MBAs together, so naturally, they're like family now. Mia, a.k.a. Ling, gets engaged to Jack, who is also her colleague. On the day of their engagement, they are told that they are competing for the job of Publisher at the media firm where they work -- the loser will be without a job. Lots of good-natured competition follows, but when Mia wins, Jack breaks their engagement. He wants someone to come home to, and he doesn't think Mia can be that.

Juliet is the COO of a hotel and resort chain and is impossibly connected. She's been married to Davis for years and has a daughter. Zoë sees Davis kissing the town strumpet, Cilla (great name), and all of the girls gather and tell Juliet. She stoically carries on and informs her chickenshit husband that she will be "taking a lover" and, after that, they can start fresh. Send this woman to the Middle East. I like the way she thinks.

Caitlin is a lesbian? Er, we meet her when a guy is dumping her at breakfast. Then, she meets Alicia Lawson at her office and sparks fly. She consults her priest, also her brother, who tells her to go for it. I know, this is great. Her brother is hot too. So she goes on a date with Alicia, and they kiss. She seems to like it. And, she has a car in Manhattan. And, I think she was drinking and driving.

Zoë is a managing director in mergers and acquisitions, and she's having a lot of trouble with the younger women in her life. Her assistant is ungrateful and lazy. Her nanny is slutty and unprofessional, and she drinks Zoë's good wine. When Zoë confronts her, she quits. Zoë tells her husband, Eric, that these girls are from Generation I.D. ("I Deserve"). Her husband is kind of a second banana to Zoë (as are all of the men in the mafia girls' lives) but gets a job that will keep him away from home, which taxes Zoë further. Who's gonna live her life for her?

Love the clothes, love the hair, love the girls, love the show. Want more? The full recap starts right below!

It's morning in Manhattan. There's the sun rising over Central Park. There's the Wall Street 2/3 subway. There's the St. Regis, which is uptown. We're all over the place here. Busy cameras. There's Bendel's and Bergdorf Goodman. So, in six seconds, I'm gathering that the New York of this show is not the New York of the majority of us poor working slobs. Unless it's about janitors.

Now, here are Lucy Liu and Tom Everett Scott. They don't look like janitors, unless janitors have kicky little figures and expensive wrap skirts. Lucy and Tom are walking in a park that only looks vaguely familiar to me, having a good-natured argument about when their first date was. She's saying that the first anniversary of their first date is the day, while Tom is saying the anniversary is today. Lucy says she's a woman; therefore, she wouldn't forget the occasion of her first date with her special fellow. Suddenly, Lucy's attention is grabbed by some street musicians (a guy with a guitar and a girl beside him) in the park. They're singing Modern Love's "Melt With You." They're the same people who were playing on the night of Tom and Lucy's first date. Crazy coincidence. Okay, I don't want to be this guy -- the one who's all saying what New York's like and how this isn't like New York. But the first character they introduced was the city, right? So, I feel obligated to point out that those street performers have never performed on a street in New York. They look like they just left a Scientology class in L.A. (just an observation; please don't hunt me, Scientology). The girl is just kind of bouncing and swaying. What do the crafters of this program feel that bouncing girl was adding to this moment? They look like mimes. Scientology mimes. So, Lucy is transfixed by the coincidence. When she turns to Tom, he's on his knee with an open jewelry box in his hand. She gasps and covers her face with her hands. "Will you just admit that I'm right?" he asks. "No," she giggles. That's kind of cute. "Okay, will you marry me?" Yes! She will! Applause from the people who were improbably paying attention to the street musicians along with Lucy and Tom as "Melt With You" melts into the actual Modern Love version. They're gonna be so happy.

Afterward, Tom and Lucy are walking hand in hand along the sidewalk. They get really nervous when they see some guy named Clive, dubbed "Lord Voldemort" by Lucy. Real mature. Clive, who has a British accent, says it's serendipitous that he's meeting them. I don't know what John Cusack has to do with this.