By Aaron
'Twas the week before Thanksgiving, and throughout the Crowe house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even an incestuous mouse;
The crucifix was hung by the window with care,
In hopes that Brother Justin soon would be there;
Iris was nestled all snug in her bed,
While visions of smelly whips danced in her head;
The Bible sat proud on the bedside table,
While I recapped the scene, as best as I'm able;
When out on the hall there arose such a clatter,
I hit TiVo fast-forward to see what was the matter.
And there he stood, like a ghost in the night,
Brother Justin was back, and ready to fight;
He tenderly stoked his dear sister's face,
And she awoke with start, and reached for the Mace;
"Shhh," he whispered, covering her mouth.
And that's when the scene started to go south;
For the hand was soon replaced by lips and a tongue,
Almost as if he wanted to lick big sister's lung;
But alas, this moment of perverse sibling bliss,
Was interrupted by my shouts of, "And then they kiss!"
"Now, Chris! Now, Cathy! Now, Leto and Ghanima!
On, Judith! On Charles Bon! On, Billy and Brenda!
Their love is so wrong! It leaves me appalled!
There'll be InYay and therapy and vomit for all!"
And so Iris sat up, and stared at her brother,
With much the same look Michael Jackson gets from his mother;
And then Justin exclaimed, about this episode you won't want to miss,
"There'll be baptisms for all, and hot sex with my sis!"
Carnieland. A still sleepy Ben is again watching Adrienne Barbeau's snake act, as the camera fades wildly in and out of focus. Boy, those former Six Feet Under directors sure do love their Bong Cam, don't they? Adrienne, meanwhile, is attired in her finest Snake-arella leather pantsuit, and I find myself experiencing a minor wave of late-seventies erotic nostalgic frisson. A non-Pa Pimperson barker exhorts the crowd to tip their lovely dancer, mostly by claiming that the snake she's waltzing with could kill her in "the blink of an eye." Insert your own obligatory symbolic reference to Ben's inability to sleep here. The rather boisterous audience members shower the stage with coins, and Ben scampers out from his position in the wings to begin collecting them. And then we get a really weird cut, as we immediately go to a shot of him handing over a full bag of coins to Adrienne, when we just saw him starting to pick them up less than a second ago. Ordinarily, I wouldn't even bother mentioning something like that, but we've already had issues with coins vanishing off the floor on this show, so who knows what it could mean? After handing over the money, Ben leaves awkwardly without saying another word. He's also got even more dirt than normal on his face this week, so maybe we're just supposed to assume that his lips have finally crusted over and he's switched to photosynthesis instead of eating.