The camera pans across a pile of maroon caps and gowns and finally comes to rest on Xander and Cordelia, who are signing up to get their grad gear. Cordy gripes because she had lobbied for the "teal," which just goes to show that growing up rich doesn't guarantee good taste. And speaking of good taste, or rather the opposite, I'm horribly riveted by Xander's sweater, which appears to be made of two mismatched halves cobbled together in the dark by a blind, loopy grandma. Xander says he thinks the maroon "has more dignity," and Cordy snarks that Xander and dignified clothes haven't ever been introduced. I guess she noticed the sweater. Xander has to poop on Cordy's superiority party by telling her he has a feeling he's going to die before graduating. All around them, other students are chatting, smiling, and signing yearbooks. Cordy: bitchy comment. Xander: No, really, "my number's up." Cordy: bitchy statement.
Willow is standing on the stairs when Harmony comes gallomping down, yearbook in hand. Apparently, the words "second to last day of school" inspired in Harmony thoughts of Hee Haw, since she's wearing a vacuum-sealed top and pants made out of red handkerchief material. Huh, Harmony is suddenly reminding me of Donna Martin. And I think Beverly Hills really missed out on an exciting plot line when they chose to not have Donna become an undead creature of the night and eat David, the groom, at their nauseating storybook wedding. Wills and Harms sign each other's yearbook, and Harmony almost totally sincerely says she wishes she and Willow had gotten to "know each other better." Willow agrees and Harmony takes her leave, hoping they don't lose touch. You don't know the half of it, sweet thing. Wearing a very skeptical face, Buffy comes to stand beside Willow. "Don't you hate her?" inquires Buffy. Willow allows that she does: "She picked on me for ten years! The vacuous tramp." Hee hee. I love that line and Alyson's delivery. Willow tries to explain that she's missing high school already, but Buffy's not feeling the love-in vibe. She sulks that she might not attend the ceremony and flops into a chair while Willow has a nostalgic moment with the soda machine. That's the Willow I used to love. Thanks a whole freakin' lot for killing everything good abut her during seasons four and five, Joss. Buffy explains she wants to skip graduation in order to fight the Mayor, and Xander wanders into the conversation. He asks the girls to guess who their commencement speaker will be, and after Willow proposes Siegfried, Roy, and one of the tigers, Xander drops his bombshell. Not literally. Just a figure of speech. Anyway, it turns out that Buffy will be able to multi-task graduation and evil fightage, since the Mayor is their commencement speaker. Whoops, serendipity.
“ Pushing a strand of her hair back, he tells her, 'No father could be prouder.' Faith is touched (good touch, not 'Daddy, stop touching me!' touch) and the Mayor offers to take her for an Icee. ”
An apartment full of clutter and artifacts. There's a knock at the door, and a middle-aged guy in a cardigan and bow-tie goes to answer. When he opens the door, he finds Faith, lounging all hussy-like. Professor Worth thinks Faith is a student and asks her to come back during office hours. She informs him she's been sent by the Mayor, so Professor Worth asks her in. He babbles some about being surprised that the Mayor is interested in his research. Faith slinks around the joint and then asks if they're alone. When Dr. Worth admits that they are, she pulls out her big-ass knife and tells him to face the wall. "I'll scream," blurts out the professor. "Who wouldn't?" shrugs Faith, without an ounce of empathy. She shoves the prof up against the wall and when he stutters, "Wh-h-h-hy?" she snides, "You know, I never thought to ask." Man, what a cold-hearted bitch. She's enjoying this random killing of a defenseless guy just a little too much. Who am I kidding? She's enjoying it a lot too much. She stabs him, and as the professor groans in pain, the camera pans across an ink drawing of an erupting volcano.
At Faith's apartment, the Mayor tidies up as he and Faith chuckle about murdering the professor. Oh, yeah. Laugh riot. Ha. Ha. The Mayor yaps about his upcoming "big day," and then Faith gingerly enters the room, wearing a girly pink dress and no shoes. The Boyfriend Formerly Known As Ash mutters, "Her calves are really short." And you know? They are. I can see why wardrobe kept Faith in pants. It always surprises me when TBFKAA comments on someone's physical appearance since he does it so infrequently. Although, just the other day, he did look at the cover of my Entertainment Weekly featuring Penelope Cruz and call her "Slug Lips." Hee hee. Slug Lips. The Mayor says Faith is a "vision," but she flaps the hem of the dress and grouses that she feels "wicked stupid." Getting all misty-eyed, the Mayor tells Faith she doesn't know what she is (ew, unfond memories of the unfulfilled "you think you knowwhat's to comewhat you are" storyline from season five) and that only he sees her true potential. The Ascension will be her day to shine as well as his. Pushing a strand of her hair back, he tells her, "No father could be prouder." Faith is touched (good touch, not "Daddy, stop touching me!" touch) and the Mayor offers to take her for an Icee.
day, Willow rides her bike up to school. Percy spots her and hurries after. He shares the fact that he got a B- on his history exam, and thanks her for tutoring him and not "kicking [his] ass like [she] did in the Bronze." Willow is about to confess she didn't actually kick his ass, but then just tells him it was for his own good. Oz comes up, and Percy morons away. As usual, Oz quips, but this time Willow chides him for joking at such a serious time.
Xander creeps into class late. The teacher insists that, despite the impending graduation, "This is still a class and everyone will participate." He writes on the board and calls on Xander, who says, "E." The teacher gloats that there is no E, and the camera pulls back to show he's making the class play Hangman. It's a hard joke to explain but it did amuse me on first airing. As the class continues playing, Anya leans over and basically asks Xander out. He sours that he has no interest in listening to her stories of demon vengeance. Scanning her mental collection of Cosmo, Anya suggests that they could "watch sports of some kind." Xander gripes about this stereotyping and says that Anya should have learned more about men in the past thousand years. He then tells her he's stressed about the upcoming Ascension. Anya looks totally freaked out.
“ Not so sure why Wes and Giles are brushing up on their fencing skills, though. I don't think fencing at one-quarter speed is going to provide an adequate defense against the Mayor. ”
Saying, "Faith," Buffy holds up a newspaper, the headline of which reads "Professor Found Murdered." Giles manages to both read the article and, without looking, fend off Wesley's fencing feints. I love Giles. Not in a sexy way, though. Oh, I can't explain it. Not so sure why Wes and Giles are brushing up on their fencing skills, though. I don't think fencing at one-quarter speed is going to provide an adequate defense against the Mayor. The article reveals that Dr. Worth was professor of geology, which makes me have an extra sneer for Faith, because messing with geologists is not a way to get on my good side. Buffy (who is wearing a sheer gray hoodie that I'm coveting) and Giles decide that the Mayor must have had a good reason to have Dr. Worth killed, and they need to find out why. "Ah. By attempting to keep a valuable clue from us, the Mayor may have inadvertently led us right to it," smugs Wesley with a self-satisfied slash of his sword. "What page are you on, Wes? 'Cause we already got there," teases Buffy, with a cute smile in her voice. Wes attempts to save face by commanding Buffy to go to Dr. Worth's apartment and look for clues. Since that's exactly what she was already planning to do, she agrees, telling him, "I just love it when you take charge, you man, you." Too much levity in the library for Giles, who gently urges Buffy to be careful and reminds her that "Faith has [her] at a disadvantage." "Why? 'Cause I'm not crazy or 'cause I don't kill people?" snarks Buffy. Giles and me: "Both, actually." Buffy agrees that she couldn't kill Faith, but says that she plans to beat the crap out of her. Wesley admonishes that Buffy shouldn't let her feelings for Faith get in the way, and that their priority must be foiling the Mayor's Ascension. Not so coincidentally, this is Xander's clue to bring Anya into the library and explain that she's "the only living person who's ever been to one."
A few moments later, Anya explains that she experienced an Ascension eight hundred years previously; a sorcerer became "the demon Lohash" and then destroyed his village within hours. Within hours? Big deal. Demons of yesteryear were so inefficient. I mean, any demon today worth his salt could go through a town in an hour and then take out a hamlet or two for dessert. Swallowing nervously, Wes tries to assure the group that "four-winged soul killers" like Lohash aren't "that fierce," but Anya quickly corrects him. According to her, all the demons currently on Earth are some sort of human/demon hybrid, but in an Ascension, a "human becomes pure demon." If I ever get that 1969 Pontiac GTO of my dreams, I think I'm gonna name it "Pure Demon." That or "Self-Indulgent Money-Sink." Can I help it that I'm pragmatic? Anya says that the pure demons are "bigger." Insert your own eyebrow waggling here.
In the school courtyard, various people are setting up chairs and decorating for graduation as Snyder leads the Mayor on a tour. He describes some particulars of the ceremony; the Mayor assures him that it looks fine. He continues that Snyder must make sure all the seniors come to the ceremony, and then tells him that he's done a great job as principal. He thanks Snyder for keeping the school in order and concludes, "Sunnydale owes you a debt. It will be repaid. Yessir, we'll mark that invoice paid in full." Snyder must have caught the Mayor's ambiguous tone, because he doesn't look at all pleased.