Becoming, Part I

S02E21

I don't know what possessed Ace and me to agree to recap these episodes from the second season. I somehow forgot that they're essentially clinical depression in a box set. I'm sick of coming home from work and spending a couple of hours snuffling in front of the television trying to finish the recap but instead crying myself to sleep. On the other hand, the Kleenex and Sudafed people are my new best friends. And mad props to Kozmo.com for bringing it all right to my door.

A dark, wet cobblestone street. Titles on the screen read "Galway 1753." A man rides a horse through a small city square ringed with houses. Whistler, the demon we don't meet until later in this episode, voice-overs: "There's moments in your life that make you, that set the course of who you're gonna be. Sometimes they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes -- they're not. I'll show you what I mean." Two disheveled youths are tossed out of a pub: Angel and a buddy. Angel proposes stealing some of his father's silver to continue their drinking binge, but his friend just groans and passes out on the street. Is there even anything new to say about David Boreanaz's atrocious Irish accent that hasn't already been said numerous times on MBTV? I didn't think so. Angel, all pigtailed and sideburned, gestures vaguely at his unconscious buddy and glances around. He sees a blonde woman in an elaborate hairstyle and dress standing in an alleyway. She smiles invitingly and disappears around a corner. Angel, ever rico y suave, gives the lady his best Galway pick-up line: " So, I ask meself: What's a lady of your station doing alone in an alley with the reputation that this one has?" Darla, for it is she and we can't pretend we don't know, heaves her corseted bosom and smiles, "Maybe she's lonely." Angel tipsily offers himself as her escort, and Darla smirks and breathily flirts with him. Apparently, "with the exception of an honest day's work," Angel is up to any challenge, and so approaches Darla and calls her a "pretty thing." She tells him she's from "around" and offers to show him the world. Angel seems entranced and agrees to have her show him her world. Darla instructs him to close his eyes, changes to her vampire visage, and bites his neck. Angel swoons to the ground, and Darla seals the deal by slashing open the flesh above her bodacious bosom and forcing Angel's mouth onto the blood that pools there. He looks shocked but begins to drink.

Vampires in the Buffyverse seem to smirk a lot, don't they? I guess eternal life and murderous power over humans makes you one smug bastard. Anyway, in the present day Angelus lurks in the bushes and smirks. It appears he's spying on the Buffster as she fights a number of vampires in one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries. She eliminates two of the enemy and tells the third to take a message to Angel: "Tell him I'm done waiting. I'm taking the fight to him." But the vamp just charges her, so she's forced to stake him and mumble that she'll tell Angel herself. In the bushes, Angelus observes and smiles happily. As Buffy leaves the graveyard, she gives a hand up to Xander, who has been lying on the ground hidden behind a headstone for this whole scene. Xander notes they've encountered five vampires in the last three nights but haven't found Angel yet. Buffy replies that she "wants it over with him"; Xander understands. They leave chatting about studying for finals and Buffy mentions that "it will all be over soon," meaning school. "Yes, my love, it will," smirks Angelus, who seems to be wearing a lot of concealer on his lips to give him an extra un-dead air that Angel never had. 'Cause when he had a soul, he needed inviting lips for Buffy kissage.

Sunnydale Museum of Natural History. An air gun puffs some dust off a huge stone object. An older man in half glasses hurries over and tells the woman with the air puffer to be careful and to concentrate her efforts on a certain section. Giles enters the room, and the man with the half glasses introduces himself as Doug Perren. He's invited Giles in his capacity as the local "best authority on obscure relics," and gestures him towards the stone, saying it was recently unearthed outside of Sunnydale. Giles admits he has a few ideas as to what the object might be and inspects some runes, which appear to be gouged rather than carved, so perhaps the object is made of clay instead of stone. Giles discovers a crack running up the side of the object, which indicates it could be opened, but neither he nor Doug is sure what's inside. Giles asks Doug to wait a few days before opening the object, as he wants to translate the runes on the outside. Bad call, Giles. Evil waits for no man, especially one who wants to do research.

Close-up of two fish sticks. Yeah, you read that correctly. Xander is putting on a little cafeteria-time theater using fish sticks to indicate himself (or Buffy? it's not clear) and the vamp from the night before. Fish stick Xander (or Buffy) dusts the fish stick vamp with a tooth pick as Cordy, Buffy, Oz, and Willow all look on. Oz, with Willow sitting on his lap, calls Xander's performance "riveting" but was "unclear about some of the themes." Buffy explains that Angel is afraid to face her himself, and Xander quips that the other theme was "buy American." Buffy insists that she is completely ready to face Angel, and Willow assures her that she will also render all assistance necessary to help Buffy pass her classes. Cordy, looking very pretty and very unlike the desiccated, brown mummy-Cordy of Angel last season, says, "Boy, Willow, you've really got the teaching bug." When Willow replies that she loves teaching, Cordy tells her, "I think it's great to do that before you go out and fail in the real world. That way you're not falling back on something. You're falling -- well, forward." Xander: "And almost sixty-five percent of that was actual compliment. Is that a personal best?" Cordy and Xander end up giggling and tussling; Cordy is struggling to get away from Xander's "fish hands" when behind them Snyder snaps, "That's enough of that!" He then asks Willow, "Are we having a chair shortage?" A chagrined Willow hops off Oz's lap and Snyder gives the gang a little lecture about public displays of affection. He leaves, threatening Buffy that he'll kick her out if she gives him a reason. Cordy then refers to Snyder as a "tiny, impotent Nazi with a bug up his butt the size of an emu" and Buffy has to agree. Willow asks Buffy to study later that night, but Buffy has plans to patrol and look for Angel.

London, 1860. Stock footage of a church cloister. Inside the church, a young woman in period clothing, wearing a veil, approaches the altar and genuflects. Oh, hey, it's pre-vampire Drusilla, and she's much less annoying than vampire Drusilla. Dru enters the confessional and as she says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned," we see that Angelus is in the priest's side of the booth and has just killed the priest. As Angel impersonates a priest hearing confession, Dru tells him that she has been "seeing" again. Apparently, she had a vision of a mine cave-in before it occurred. Dru's mother has told her that her precognition is an "affront" to God and she sobs, "I don't want to be an evil thing." Angel replies that she's a "devil child" and the Lord will "smite her down." He tells her to just give in to her evilness, but that suggestion makes Dru panicky so he dismisses her with ten Our Fathers and an Act of Contrition. "God is watching you," he whispers as dramatic music swells. Is God groaning at Juliet Landau's scenery-chewing too?

Present-day Drusilla smirks her way down the stairs into the courtyard of the Mansion. Spike, reading a paper and still in his wheelchair, inquires about Dru's walk, and she says something typically crazy and stupid about the moon whispering to her, "dreadful things." Angelus comes out of the Mansion, bats Spike on the back of the head, and cozies up to Dru, inquiring as to whether she had a vision. Oh please, stop encouraging her crazy act, Angel! Dru tells him there's a tomb at the museum "with a surprise inside," and Angelus is impressed that she can see all that in her head. "No, you ninny. She read it in the morning paper," snaps Spike, and shows him the paper with a headline that reads "Mystery Obelisk Unearthed." Angelus gets an extra evil smirk in place of his usual smirk, and Dru launches into an impromptu open-mouthed Steve Wonder impression, bobbing her head and snapping her mouth near Angelus's ear. Are vampire guys really so hard up that two of them need to fight over a lamer like Drusilla?

Buffy and Willow study in the computer classroom. Buffy is having problems with whatever they're working on and gets quite sulky about being a "moron." Willow dishes out some tough love, telling Buffy to stop wasting her time, and Buffy gives her a congratulatory smile, saying she's a good teacher. As they get back to work on a chemistry problem, Buffy's pencil rolls off the desk and lands beside Jenny Calendar's misplaced disk from "Passion." Buffy pulls the disk out and hands it to Willow, who pops it into her laptop, saying that it must have belonged to Ms. Calendar. They joke a little about feeling morbid for going through Jenny's things, but then their attention is riveted to the screen as the spell for restoration of a soul pops up. The realization of what they've found sinks in.

Nighttime. Someone is frantically running through the woods and panting. A dead young woman in a white dress is laid out, covered in rose petals. The title on the screen reads "Rumanian Woods 1898." Gypsy women spread petals on the body and circle it with incense. Under an awning, another gypsy chants in Latin . The person in the woods is still running frantically. The gypsy continues to chant "Trespur aceastui" as Angelus runs into the camp and falls to the ground, looking disoriented. A crystal orb in front of the gypsy woman suddenly glows, thunder crashes, and Angel's eyes are filled with light. A gypsy man approaches the groveling Angel and Romanians at him, "It hurts, yes? Good. It will hurt more. You don't remember -- everything you've done for a hundred years. In a moment, you will. The face of everyone you killed -- our daughter's face -- they will haunt you, and you will know what true suffering is." Angel stutters that he doesn't understand, and then as the memories of Angelus's kills come back to him he moans, "No! No, no."

In the library, Giles looks astonished as Buffy hands him a print-out and Willow explains, "Looks like Ms. Calendar was trying to replicate the original curse. To restore Angel's soul again." Giles thought the curse couldn't be recreated, but Buffy explains that Jenny tried anyway, and it appears she was successful. Seated at the library table, a stone-faced Xander growls, "So he killed her, before she could tell anyone about it. What a prince, huh?" Even Cordy appears to feel the gravity of the moment and suggests that they curse Angel again. Giles thinks the spell will take more skills with the black arts than he has, but Willow says she's been studying up for "educational fun" and may be able to do it. Looking concerned, Giles suggests that it could be dangerous for Willow, but Willow protests that she's the person to try. Angry Xander calls them all "crazy" and asks, "Who cares?" about restoring Angel's soul. When Buffy replies that she does, Xander gets snide and reminds them that Angel is a killer. As Buffy and Willow protest, Xander insists that Angel "needs to die." Giles says that curing Angel was Jenny's last wish, Xander snaps that Jenny is dead, and a full-on yelling match breaks out between the two of them. Buffy breaks it up, Giles storms away, and Buffy shoots Xander multiple pained "How could you?" looks. Buffy claims that "what happened to Angel wasn't his fault," but Xander isn't convinced and grits out that Buffy wants to "forget all about Ms. Calendar's murder so [she] can get [her] boyfriend back." Ouch. Buffy leaves the library as the rest of the Scooby gang stands silently.

By Sep

Meanwhile, at the library, Willow, the Slayers, and Giles are discussing the situation. Willow is wearing far too much light purple. She looks like a jellybean. Giles explains the finer points of the world-into-hell-sucking process. Buffy tells Willow that she should try to re-curse Angelus. Kendra pipes up that she "tend[s] to side with your friend Xander on dis one." Buffy reassures everyone that she is willing to kill Angel, but wants Willow to be the backup plan. Kendra produces a sword that was blessed by the aforementioned pesky virtuous knight. Giles becomes about fifty times more animated as he inspects it. As they work out the nitty-gritty details of the soul restoration, it turns out that Willow needs an "Orb of Thesulah, whatever that is." Giles fetches one from his office, where it had been employed as a paperweight. Willow reminds Buffy that she won't be able to help Buffy prepare for finals, but Buffy reassures her, saying, "Ah, I'll wing it. Of course if we go to hell by then I won't have to take them." "Or," she continues with an ominous realization, "I'll be taking them forever."

Drusilla goes to fetch Spike in preparation for the ceremony. Angelus spouts some ritualistic verse blah blah blah. Just like in every vampire ceremony, from the one performed before going to the dry cleaners to pick up the leather duster to the pre-opening of hell, it requires a human sacrifice. "Everything that I am, everything that I have done, has led me to here," intones Angelus ominously. Although I almost typed "monotonously," which describes David Boreanaz's version of ominous almost as well.

So now we go back in time to a 1996 Manhattan. I guess Manhattan is TV shorthand for dark, dank, and depressing. A filthy Angelus hungrily watches a rat scurrying across the alley. He attempts to catch it rather ineffectively, crashing into the trashcans and making a big racket. That's pathetic. He's been cursed for almost a hundred years now and we're supposed to believe that this is the best he can do? A man, who looks like a lost Beastie Boy but whom we know as Whistler, enters the alley and begins to heckle Angel about his appearance. Angel angrily orders him to leave him alone. Whistler gasps in mock horror that Angel, as a vampire, might bite him. This causes Angel to gape with surprise. Which isn't saying much, really. So Whistler continues, "But you wouldn't bite me on account of your poor tortured soul." Angel asks Whistler to identify himself, but instead Whistler invites him for a walk. They come to a street, and Angel almost gets run over while crossing because he's not paying attention. Again, I have to say that this whole dazed and confused act of Angel's is really hard to buy. Not to belabor the point, but he's been cursed for 98 years now. You'd think his coping skills would have kicked in at some point. But I guess that would make the whole Buffy and Angel saga that much less poignant if she weren't the major impetus for Angel to turn his life around. Whatever. Whistler explains that he's a demon but "not a bad guy," because "not all demons are dedicated to the destruction of all life." Whistler tells Angel that he can either "become an even more useless rodent…or [he] can become someone. A person. Someone to be counted." Or heck, someone who can count without using his fingers. Angel asks Whistler what he wants with him, and Whistler replies that he wants to show him something, because that's what all characters sent to provide some sort of divine intervention do.

Upbeat music plays as we pan down on a Los Angeles high school. Students swarm down the steps, and a completely rusted Impala with blackened windows pulls up to the curb. Never mind how Angel managed to drive there without being able to see, and let's not mention that the whole setup screams pedophile and that the police would probably be likely to question such a suspicious character hanging around a high school. He rolls down the window, squints at the bright light, and looks over to see Buffy coming down the steps, chattering with three of her friends. Here's proof that I can't blame Buffy's bad fashion sense on the pull of the Hellmouth -- her outfit here is pretty awful. She natters on to her friends about an upcoming dance. One of them asks if she's going with Tyler and Buffy replies, "Where were you when I got over Tyler? He's of the past. Tyler would have to crawl on his hands and knees to get me to go to the dance with him. Which, actually, he's supposed to do after practice so I'm gonna wait." Whoa. This is the Cordelia, I mean Buffy, that Angel first fell in love with? Buffy sits on the steps to wait for Tyler and then removes her jacket to reveal her nubile young arms and perky tank-top. I get it. This is the Buffy Angel first fell in "love" with. An older man in a black suit approaches her and asks if she's Buffy Summers. Buffy briefly worries that he's from Bullocks because she "meant to pay for that lipstick." But the pudgy man is not concerned with any of that because he's here to escort Buffy to her "destiny." Buffy protests that she's "destiny-free," but the man corrects her that "you are the Chosen One. You alone can stop them." "Who?" queries Buffy. Well, the vampires, obviously, but when the somewhat shifty-eyed and creepy stranger tells her that, for some reason she says, "Huh?" and gives him a weird look.

Quick cut to a cemetery, where we get a brief glimpse of a headstone when Buffy in a puffy orange jacket lands flat on her back. Angel is skulking behind the tombstones, still watching. A vampire props himself up above her and growls. Buffy looks around for her stake, terrified, but she can't reach it, so she just pushes the vampire off of her. She crawls on all fours to retrieve her stake, making little "oof" sounds and saying "Oh God!" a lot. I'm saying "Oh God!" too, but it mostly has to do with her bright orange leggings with little flowers. The vampire lunges at Buffy, and she flips him and then glances confusedly at her stake, but then gets with the program and, raising the stake high above her head, plunges it into him. Nothing happens. "Oh! Not the heart." Buffy tries again, and this time he explodes into dust, surprising her so much that she screams and falls backward on her butt. Heh. Up steps her first Watcher, saying, "You see? You see your power?" Yeah, I have a question about that. Wouldn't Buffy have noticed her increased strength or something?

Cut to a suburban house in LA. From Angel's perspective across the street, we see Buffy enter her room with her mother hot on her heels. Joyce reproaches Buffy for not phoning and Buffy says that she and Tyler were talking and they lost track of time. Joyce is still miffed, but she shrugs and tells Buffy that dinner will be on the table soon. After her mother departs, Buffy enters her bathroom and turns on the faucet to wash up. She can hear her parents talking in the hall heatedly. Hank, Buffy's father, vehemently says that he doesn't want Buffy to see Tyler anymore, and Joyce tells him that he's overreacting. Buffy gazes numbly into the mirror and tears fill her eyes. As her parent's argument escalates, Buffy looks down and tries to suppress her tears.

Angel is walking through the sewers to find Whistler waiting for him. Angel declares that he wants to help Buffy and that he "[wants to] become someone." Whistler remarks, "She must be prettier than the last Slayer." Personally, I'd like to see the last Slayer because, with the exception of The First, all the Slayers we've seen lately have been pretty damn hot. It's obvious that the Slayer gene or whatever inspires fine, uh, development as well as super-strength. So anyway, Whistler continues, "This isn't going to be easy…this is dangerous work. Right now you couldn't go three rounds with a fruit fly." Make up your freakin' mind, Whistler. You want to recruit Angel or not? Geez. Anyway, they agree that Angel will learn from Whistler but not dress like him, and then we're zipped back to the present with Angelus in the mansion saying, "I have strayed. I have been lost. But Acathla redeems me. With this act we will be free." He grasps the sword's hilt and an intensely bright light pours forth. Angelus begins to shake, but nothing else happens until a bright red flame erupts, throwing him onto the floor. Spike sing-songs, "Someone wasn't worthy." Hee! An agitated Dru whines, "What are we going to do?" Angel: "What we always do in a time of trouble. Turn to an old friend."

In a classroom, Buffy and the gang are taking an exam as a shrouded figure walks through the hallway towards the Scooby's class. No one really notices the figure entering until it pulls the shawl off of its face and says, "Tonight. Sundown. At the graveyard," before beginning to smoke. "You will come to him or more will die," continues the vampire, while pointing at Buffy. But then the indirect sunlight that Angel so effortlessly avoids on a daily basis becomes too much and our message bearer is overcome. Man, that Angel is such a drama queen. You'd think he could've just called or something.

At the library, everyone is researching except for Giles and Buffy, who are on the mezzanine level discussing recent events. Kendra overhears Buffy say, "She said more would die. I have to go," and decides that she should go "wit'" Buffy. Buffy tells Kendra that she should stay at the library "just in case." Willow says that she needs to cross-check the ritual, but Buffy cuts her off, saying that they're out of time. Willow tells Buffy that she needs thirty minutes to perform the ritual once they're all set up, and Giles advises Buffy to just "hold Angel off. Don't let him close on you." Xander cautions Buffy to take care, and she starts to leave, but Kendra stops her to hand over her lucky stake, "Mr. Pointy." Buffy is amused but touched by the gift, and then leaves to go walk into the trap Angel has set.

At the cemetery, Buffy is pacing alertly as Angel walk out from behind a mausoleum. "Hello, lover. I wasn't sure you'd come." Buffy: "After your immolation-o-gram? Come on, I had to show." Yet again, I'm finding it hard to believe that a girl who knows the word "immolation" wouldn't know that there's more than one definition for "dyke." Anyway, Angel tells Buffy that she's "the one thing in this dimension I will miss." Buffy, steely-voiced, deadpans, "This is a beautiful moment we're having. Can we please fight?" Angel quips that he was actually interested in getting back together with Buffy, but upon catching her look says, "All right. We'll fight," and rushes her.

Willow is all set up by now in the library. She's got her orb and some candles and bones and whatnot. She casts some stones and then nods to Giles, who opens his book and starts chanting in Latin. Cordelia walks by waving some sage in the air, and Xander, well, Xander just watches. Probably partly in silent protest, but mostly because he's useless.

Buffy and Angelus duke it out in the graveyard. After Angelus flips her, she mutters, "Come on, Willow."

Kendra is guarding the main doors to the library as Willow speaks aloud part of the spell when suddenly a vampire springs out from behind the stacks and attacks Xander. The main doors burst open and Kendra whirls around, ready to defend, as two more vampires enter. Giles screams at everyone to get out. Willow and Cordelia break for the stairs as Kendra punches the first vampire who approaches her. Another vamp jumps Giles from behind and knocks him into the table. In the ensuing fray, a vampire pushes a bookcase onto Willow, knocking her unconscious. Giles hasn't been knocked out since "Passion" so it's his turn again as well. Xander's arm is broken by a vampire, but he manages to fight on anyway; pushing the vampire that he has been grappling with into the vampire who was in pursuit of Cordelia, who just stands there frozen with fright. Cordelia then screams and takes off through the stacks. Meanwhile, Kendra has just thrown one vampire through the window into Giles's office and is methodically going after another when she's tackled from the side.

By Sep

At the graveyard, Buffy and Angel scuffle some more. Buffy pulls out Mr. Pointy and says, "Come on. Let's finish this. You and me." Angelus chuckles, saying, "You never learn do you? This wasn't about you! This was never about you." Buffy stands stock still, a slow horror dawning on her face as she realizes that she isn't the be-all and end-all of everyone's existence. Or maybe she realizes that it was all a trap. Either way, she takes off running.

In the library, Kendra and Xander are still resisting the vampires when the doors swing open and Drusilla enters. She claps her hands sharply and calls, "Enough." Dru gives Kendra a come-hither finger wave, only she makes it a thousand times more theatrical than necessary. Kendra faces off and prepares to fight, but Drusilla calmly circles Kendra. Kendra lashes out, but Dru easily evades the blows and sends her spinning to the ground with the weakest punch I've ever seen from a vampire. Kendra kicks Dru in the gut, causing her to double over in pain, and Kendra lunges. But Dru was feigning her injury and instead grasps Kendra by the throat and forces her against the check-out desk. "Look at me, dearie," says Dru while waving two of her fingers before Kendra's gaze. Dru starts to hypnotize her: "Be in my eyes. Be in me." She releases Kendra, who is now in Dru's thrall, swaying back and forth.

Buffy runs some more. She jumps a park bench. Go, Buffy, go!

Drusilla, eyes on Kendra, flexes her fingers and then slices viciously across Kendra's jugular. Kendra falls, bleeding heavily and grabbing at her neck. Drusilla directs the remaining hench vamps to "get what we came for," and they drag Giles out.

Buffy is running across campus now. She throws open the door and barrels down the hall. As she's rounding the corner in her blue three-quarter-length coat, the slo-mo monster catches up with her. Whistler narrates, "Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments." Buffy dashes into the library but is stopped cold by the scene awaiting her. Whistler continues, "No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does." Buffy surveys the demolished library, and her eyes rest on Kendra lying prone on the floor. Buffy rushes towards her, still hampered by the slo-mo monster, and skids to a stop on her knees. She checks Kendra's pulse as Whistler continues, "So what are we? Helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are." Buffy strokes Kendra's face with her other hand as a gun is raised behind her. "Freeze!" shouts the police officer behind her. Buffy turns her doe eyes towards him, surprised, and we fade to black. But that Chatty Cathy Whistler has to have the last word: "You'll see what I mean."