Surprise (1)

S02E13

Buffy is tossing and turning in her bed. She startles herself awake (holy eye-shadow, Batman!) and turns on the lamp so we have a better view of her reaching for her water glass. Finding it empty, she gets up to refill it. While Buffy's walking down the hall, Drusilla turns a corner and creeps up behind her. Drusilla has a spot of blood on the ass-crack of her lip. There has to be a better word for that. Buffy opens the door to the bathroom but instead finds herself in the Bronze. She walks through the crowd to see Willow sharing a table with an organ grinder's monkey. In French, because what is a dream sequence without a bit of French, Willow says to the monkey, "The hippo stole his pants." Willow catches sight of Buffy and, smiling wide, waves at her in an excited Willow-esque manner. Buffy continues onward to see Joyce standing by a pillar with an oversized cup and saucer in her hands. Joyce says, "Do you really think you're ready, Buffy?" and then drops her saucer. Buffy watches it fall and shatter while Joyce turns and walks away. Buffy walks some more and then turns to see Angel. They smile and walk towards each other, but just then Drusilla appears behind Angel with a stake held high. She plunges it deep into him from behind and Buffy yells out, "Angel!" They reach towards each other, their fingertips not quite touching, but Angel begins to disintegrate, crumbling, his rings tumbling to the floor. Drusilla approaches Buffy and wishes her a happy birthday. In her room Buffy wakes up, for real this time.

There's a knocking at the door of Angel's apartment, Tacky City. I've gotten most of my furniture off of the street and my apartment is still decorated better than Angel's. He opens it to reveal a worried Buffy. Buffy's skirt is short. Way short. You know how for a long time scientists thought that atoms were the smallest particle of matter until they discovered quarks? Well, that's Buffy's micro-mini. It's the quark of micro-minis. Buffy asks Angel if he's okay, and after he assures her that he's fine, he goes to grab a shirt. Buffy tells Angel about her dream, and he strokes her cheek and tells her that he's right there. Buffy isn't having it and reminds Angel that she does have prophetic dreams, but Angel counters that it's a hit-and-miss thing. Buffy is still agitated and says, "But what if Drusilla is alive? We never saw her body." Angel: "She's not. But even if she was, we'd deal." Buffy protests some more but Angel, having exhausted his repertoire -- he's not made for extended conversation -- grabs her and lays one on. Smack, slurp, smooch. Buffy has to go to school. Smooch, slurp, smack. Angel reminds Buffy that she has to go to school. Slurp, smack, smooch. Buffy tells Angel that she likes "seeing [him] at bedtime" and that "the part at the end of the night where we say good-bye. It's getting harder." Harder to watch, maybe.

Cut to Willow and Buffy walking across campus. True-to-form of high school girls everywhere, they dissect the conversation that Buffy just had with Angel. Buffy wonders to Willow what she should do about Angel, and Willow advises her to seize the day. Buffy responds, "Right. I think we're going to. Seize it. Once you get to a certain point then seizing is sort of inevitable." Huh. That sounds a tad unpleasant, but hey, it's Angel, King of Pain, so I'm not surprised if he's into that. Willow gets all "wow" to Buffy and they start walking to class. Buffy notices Oz sitting on a table practicing guitar. Willow crushes aloud to Buffy for a moment but then seems worried that Oz, being a senior, is too old for her. Buffy: "Please. My boyfriend had a bicentennial." And you look like you've got one coming up too, Buffy. I mean, what is up with that hair? The young matron cut and the ash-blonde dye aren't helping your cause. Buffy advises Willow that she can't "spend the rest of [her] life waiting for Xander to wake up and smell the hottie. Make a move." Buffy takes off; Willow considers her options for a moment before finally approaching Oz. He says hello and they make some small talk, but let's get to the good stuff. Just as Willow is starting to feel a little awkward, Oz says, "I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night and I'm kind of nervous about it, actually. It's interesting." Willow: "Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm going to say yes." Oz says that it "creates a comfort zone," and then proceeds to ask her out. Willow smacks her forehead in frustration and says that she can't. Oz: "Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable." Willow tells him that she has to go to a surprise party for Buffy's birthday and invites him to go as her date. Oz gives a little half-smile at Willow's word choice. He agrees to go, and Willow walks off repeating "I said 'date'" to herself. Let's all take a moment to sigh dreamily at what is the best execution of pre-first-date maneuvering in the entire history of the world. ["Willow and Oz make me swoon. Sigh." -- Ace]

Cordelia is at her locker getting some books with Xander standing behind her. The stylist should really reconsider Xander's hairstyle. Without the coverage of bangs, Xander's receding hairline and craggy forehead don't do much to bolster the illusion that he's a high school student. ["Oh, actually I thought this was his most flattering hairstyle. Better than the greasy comb-down of season four." -- Ace] Xander suggests that he and Cordelia go to Buffy's party together. Cordelia doesn't answer, and instead turns to him and demands to know why he thinks they should. Xander suggests that, since they keep making out, they might as well just admit that they're dating. Cordelia: "Groping in a broom closet isn't dating. You don't call it a date until the guy spends money." Xander: "Fine. I'll spend, then we'll grope. Whatever. I just think it's some kind of whack that we feel we have to hide it from all our friends." Cordelia with her "manners are for poor people" attitude replies, "Well, of course you wanna tell everybody. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I, on the other hand, have everything to be ashamed of." Xander has had enough and tells her to forget it before stalking off.

A bit further down the hall, Xander runs into Giles, who asks him if everything is set for the party. Giles tells Xander that Buffy and Jenny are headed their way and reminds him to keep the lid on the party situation. Xander tells Buffy that he "feel[s] a pre-birthday spanking coming on." Jenny tells him to "curb that impulse" and Xander, speaking into his shirt as if there were a microphone there, says, "Check. Cancel spanking." They sit at a table and Giles notes that Buffy seems tired. Maybe it's from staying up so late trying to find ever trashier combinations for her clothes. She's wearing that same micro-mini she had on at Angel's, but now we can see the white go-go boots she's paired it with. She tells them about her dream. Giles tells her not to worry but Buffy says, "I know. I should keep my Slayer cool, but it's Angel, which automatically equals maxi-wig." Please excuse me while I suppress my giggles and make a "Now with wings!" pun under my breath.

At Spike and Dru's warehouse, Dalton lugs a large wooden box inside. Spike directs him to put it on the gift table. Drusilla pushes Spike in his wheelchair over to the gift table. He tries to talk her into having her party in Vienna because he's "had it" with Sunnydale. Dru hushes him and says that she's "got good games for everyone," and licks his cheek. Ew. Dru goes to inspect some roses, and then starts swaying and moaning because the flowers are "wrong." She screams, "I can't abide them," and starts ripping the buds off. The vampire florists look worried until Spike, cool as ever, says, "Let's try something different with the flowers then." Dru calms down, and then spies the presents and coos, "Can I open one?" "Just a peek, love," replies Spike. Drusilla opens one and smiles, saying, "It reeks of death." She tells Spike that this party will be the "best party ever" because "it will be the last," as she slams the lid shut.

In the kitchen of the Summers' home, Joyce reminds Buffy of the impending trip to the mall on Saturday. Joyce asks Buffy if she feels any different now that she's seventeen, and Buffy says, "You know, I woke up feeling more responsible, mature and levelheaded. I now possess the qualities one looks for in a licensed driver." She gives Joyce a hopeful look and Joyce says, "Do you really think you're ready, Buffy?" and drops the plate that she's holding. Cue the spooky music.

Jenny Calendar is going through some things at her desk when a man dressed in a dark suit approaches her from behind. He says her name and she spins around, startled. They make a little small talk when the man -- oh forget it. It's Uncle Enyos. You know it, I know it, your mother and her chicken both know it. So Uncle Enyos starts to give Jenny a hard time, saying that the elder woman has seen that "his" pain is lessening. Jenny looks down, feeling a little guilty, and lets it slip that there's this girl. Uncle Enyos and his shoelace tie are disgusted at Jenny's apparent shirking of her duties. Uncle Enyos orders her to "do what [she] must to take her from him."

In the library, Buffy is explaining about a portion of her dream coming true. Xander and Willow come bouncing in, excited for Buffy's birthday. They notice Buffy's lack of enthusiasm, and Giles fills them in. He reassures Buffy and tells her that he's going to "read up on Drusilla," and that she should meet him back in the library later in the evening. Buffy takes off, and Willow laments that all her little party hats will go to waste. They start to leave but Giles stops them with a firm, "We're having a party tonight." Willow and Xander look at Giles in surprise and Xander quips, "He looks like Mr. Caution Man but the sound he makes is funny." Since Buffy will only have one seventeenth birthday, Giles insists that they make the most of it. Willow: "And anyway, Angel's coming so she'll be able to protect him andhave cake." Her phrasing causes my brain to call up the adage, "Have your cake and eat it too." My brain hates me.

Later that night at school, Jenny intercepts Buffy on her way to meet Giles. Jenny tells Buffy that the meeting place has been changed and offers to give her a ride. In the car, Buffy sees some monkey business going on in a loading area near the Bronze. She gets out to investigate and finds Dalton carrying another wooden box to a waiting truck. Buffy: "Every time I see you, you're stealing something. You really should speak with someone about this klepto issue." At that moment, the door of the truck Buffy is standing to opens and a vampire kicks out at her. She grabs his leg and pulls him out of the cab while Dalton puts the box on the back of the truck. Buffy is lifted onto the back of the truck by a third vampire who is in the flatbed. Fighting ensues.

By Sep

In Spike and Drusilla's warehouse lair, Drusilla is pissed at Dalton because he lost her "present." Dalton tries to excuse himself by blaming it on the Slayer, but Dru flings off his glasses and is about to gouge out his eyes when Spike suggests that Dru give Dalton a chance to recover the box. With Dru's clawed fingers in front of his eyes, Dalton promises to recover the Judge's arm. Dru makes one of her annoying little crazy faces and then replaces Dalton's crushed glasses on his face. I don't want to tell tales out of school, but looking at Dru's arms in this scene makes me think that "pursuing a movie career" is industry shorthand for "detox." You can see individual veins.

Buffy and Angel walk down the dock, holding hands. Angel has the box containing the Judge's arm slung over his shoulder. They approach the gangway of the ship and Angel intensely promises Buffy that he'll be back. She whines some about how long he'll be gone. They exchange angsty musings on whether either one of them will even be alive six months from now; all these close-ups of Buffy's face make it apparent that they ran out of eye-shadow on the set this week and improvised by rubbing a half-melted Hershey bar across SMG's eyelids. Anyway. Angel reaches into his pocket and says he has something for Buffy for her birthday. In his hand he's holding a silver ring and explains "My people -- before I was changed -- they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring." Eww, Angel's fingernails are rather grubby. He explains that if she wears the ring with the heart pointing towards her, it indicates she belongs to someone, and shows her that he's wearing a man's version of the ring with the heart pointing in. Buffy tells him not to go, and they kiss to the accompaniment of sad music. Angel is about to tell Buffy something -- presumably that he loves her -- when they are jumped by two vampires. Fightage ensues, and while Buffy and Angel are occupied, Dalton grabs the box and starts to flee. Angel manages to knock Dalton down, but has to rush to Buffy's aid when one of the other vamps tosses her into the bay. This scene is really fun to watch while rewinding. Wheee! Angel flies backwards onto the pier. Wheee! Buffy flies backwards onto the pier. Hey, we recappers have to take our entertainment where we find it.

Giles, Willow, and Xander are researching in the library. Willow expresses sympathy for Buffy having to say goodbye to Angel on her birthday, but Xander can't hide his pleasure at seeing Angel have to leave town, saying, "What kind of a future would she've really had with him? She's got two jobs -- Denny's waitress by day, Slayer by night -- and Angel's always in front of the TV with a big blood belly, and he's dreamin' of the glory days when Buffy still thought this whole 'creature of the night' routine was a big turn-on." During Xander's touching conclusion about how he'd comfort Buffy with prime rib, Buffy stomps into the library, telling the gang that Dru's henchmen recovered the box. Giles says the Judge is one mean mother-shut-your-mouth, and that while evil beings can withstand the Judge, no human has ever survived his touch. Xander suggests that in that case they should send Cordy to fight him. Sadly, no one follows up on this idea, and Giles fills the gang in the fact that "no weapon forged can kill" the Judge. The gang agrees to spend the night researching. At 2:10 AM they're still at it, though Willow seems to be mostly busy playing with her hair and mooning about Oz. She's impressed by how cool he was about the vampire revelation, but Xander just scoffs. Was he jealous of Oz at this point? Inquiring minds want to know. Giles wants to know if Angel has found anything, but then shushes him, pointing to Buffy, who has fallen asleep over her books. Angel, wearing thick yellow pancake makeup (or so it would appear on my TV), confirms that Buffy hasn't been sleeping well, she's been "tossing and turning." The gang, which also now includes Jenny, turns to stare at him, and Angel explains that Buffy told him this information, he didn't observe it firsthand. I have to keep reminding myself that, despite Buffy's Junior League 'do and spackled-on eye-shadow, she's supposed to be a teenage virgin and therefore her sleeping arrangements are a Big Deal.

As Buffy sleeps, she dreams that she's wearing a fancy satin nightgown and walking around in Spike's lair. All of Dru's party decorations are in place and Buffy sees Jenny Calendar walk by. She finds the boxes of Judge-bits and starts to open one when she's interrupted by Dru's voice. Dru is standing above her on the second story and has a knife at Angel's throat. Buffy wakes up screaming "Angel" and turns to hug him.

At the warehouse, Dru is dressed up in a red satin gown and starts to make the rounds of her vamp party. Carried away by the mood of the moment, she executes a wriggly little dance, which is something I hope to never see again after finishing this recap. Dru bugs. Spike rolls up carrying one of the Judge-bits boxes on his lap. Vamp henchmen take the final box and add it to the others, which have been stacked up in a vaguely humanoid form. As soon as they add the final box, bright light shines out from within the box figure. The boxes open, revealing a trollish-looking bright blue demon. "He's perfect, darling. Just what I wanted," simpers Dru, and then gives an evil glare. 'Cause she's crazy and all.

The Judge comes trundling out of his box and points his finger at Dru accusingly. "You two stink of humanity. You share affection and jealousy," he grunts. "Shyeah, what of it?" demands Spike, tapping the Judge's sheet-metal overalls. He looks like Farmer Judge in that outfit. Spike reminds the Judge that he and Dru are responsible for his reanimation, and Dru offers him one of the other vampires as a "party favor." The Judge takes offense at Dalton because he "reads" and demands that Dalton be brought to him. Apparently, the Judge is not up to full strength, but by touching Dalton he manages to burn him right up. Dru gets very excited and demands an instant rerun. ["Watching this episode, I thanked my personal deity many times for Juliet Landau's 'movie career.' May it keep Dru off the Buffy set forevermore." -- Ace]

Buffy stomps through the library and Giles wonders where she's going. She explains that she had a dream that showed her where Spike and Dru are, and she then takes charge of the Scooby gang, explaining that she and Angel will do recon on Spike and Dru while the others try to stop any more boxes from arriving in Sunnydale. She hurries off with Angel in tow.

At the warehouse, Buffy and Angel creep around on the second story. Below them, the party is still in progress. As they watch, the Judge wanders by with Spike rolling alongside him. The Judge pauses, then looks right up at Buffy and Angel. They try to run, but are grabbed by two henchvamps and dragged downstairs. Dru and Spike taunt the goody-two-shoeses, and when the Judge expresses interest in Buffy, Angel demands that the Judge take him instead. Spike tells him they're both going to die, and Angel struggles as the Judge reaches towards Buffy. But the Judge is still a little box-lagged, apparently, because he moves towards Buffy very slooowly, giving Buffy time to kick him away and Angel time to release a pile of televisions onto his head. The televisions have apparently smashed a hole in the floor, and Buffy and Angel drop through into the sewers. Run Buffy run! Run Angel run! They evade the henchvamps and exit a manhole cover into a blinding rainstorm.

By Sep

Buffy and Angel enter Angel's tastefully lit apartment, or janitor's closet, or wherever it is he's supposed to live. Is it an abandoned building? Does he pay rent? Who knows! They're both drenched and Buffy is shivering with cold, so Angel gives her some dry clothes and tells her to "get under the covers, just to warm up." She goes into his bedroom area to change; Angel follows. Buffy sits on the bed with the dry clothes and just stares at him until he turns his back. As she's taking off her little sweater, she gasps in pain and explains she has a cut. Angel, with his back still turned, suggests he could take a look and Buffy agrees, modestly holding her sweater up to her chest -- never mind the fact that Angel has seen her in less before. Heck, she wears much less than that every day to school -- it's not like she's naked. Anyway, Angel sits behind her and tells her the wound is "already closed," but meanwhile he's slipping down the strap of her tank top. Buffy turns towards him and they snuggle. Buffy sniffles and whispers that they can't be sure of anything, but Angel shushes her. Buffy turns to face him and Angel says, "I love you. I try not to but I can't stop." Buffy loves him too, and they kiss, as the Buffy/Angel theme swells on the soundtrack, Angel lies back on the bed and Buffy follows.

Later (although I'm not sure how much later, considering it's been sixty years or more since Angel got any), the couple is sleeping in Angel's bed. Thunder crashes and Angel sits up in bed, obviously in great pain. He runs from the apartment (having gotten dressed in the meantime) and falls over some trashcans, screaming, "Buffy! Buffy!" 'cause nothin' lasts forever in the cold November rain. Or something.