Episode Report Card LuluBates: A | 1 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Valentine's Day Massacre
By LuluBates | Season 5 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.13.2011
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Nora is angry at the world (mostly the writers) for never, ever, ever letting her find love and/or happiness. She takes it out on her listeners, and Sarah yells at her for it. Don't worry, Nora gets her revenge later.
Saul forces his new old boyfriend Jonathan to go on a date with the restaurant critic who is reviewing the fine fare at Saul's restaurant. That sentence makes sense, I swear. Luc is making Sarah a romantic dinner for Sarah, but it proves too much for him, so he and his new sidekick Justin head over to Scotty's restaurant to beg for some cassoulet. But Scotty can't help him, because he is in a full-on freak-out because the food critic is coming. And who is the food critic? Michael Gross, a.k.a. Mr. Keaton from Family Ties. Saul serves them up a whole plate of awkward… and some known allergens. Jonathan pretends he's not going to die just so Saul gets a good review, which is pretty fair considering Jonathan gave him HIV. Oh, were we supposed to have forgotten that? I guess they are even now because they kiss and go home together.
Tommy's nosy Nancy girlfriend-- er, fiancée, can't stop digging up the dirt on Walkers, and she is pretty convinced that Sarah is not William's daughter. Tommy begs her to keep that theory to herself, but obviously that's not going to happen. So when Sarah yells at Tommy, the first thing he does is tell her she's not a Walker. He's awesome.
Tommy instantly confesses to his mother, who admits that she was pregnant when she married William. Tommy asks about Brody, and Nora suddenly realizes that Tommy and Rose made the logical conclusion that she was knocked up by Brody, lied to William about it, and then told Sarah she wasn't a Walker. Nora hollers at everybody and then goes to talk Sarah off a ledge. But Sarah's not on a ledge, she's going through Rose's files… and she finds a copy of her hospital birth certificate that her dad didn't sign. The things you can find on the internet.
Sarah convenes an emergency family meeting that involves dragging Kevin home from his conference, but no mention is made of Kitty. Let's keep it that way, eh? No one cares that William didn't sign Sarah's birth certificate, and everyone thinks she should just talk to her mother, but Sarah won't listen to reason, which SHOULD PROVE that she's a Walker. Sarah finally goes to find Nora, who hollers at her and tells her that William is her father, and she can go get a DNA test if she wants, but William is her father.
Nora then yells at Rose for a long time while she cries about causing all this family drama. She tells Rose the Walker rules: Have a glass of wine, stop crying and get over it. Rules to live by! Then everyone apologizes and makes up and hugs and drinks wine. Except for Sarah who is totally trusting, but verifying about whether or not she's a Walker.
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, then see why we think the Walkers are a lot like the Bravermans.
What are people saying about your favorite shows and stars right now? Find out with Talk Without Pity, the social media site for real TV fans. See Tweets and Facebook comments in real time and add your own -- all without leaving TWoP. Join the conversation now!
Lulu Bates a.k.a. Melissa Locker may hate Rose's accent most of all. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!It's Valentine's Day in Walkerlandia! To mark the occasion Nora is on the air publicly using the word "canoodling" (which I always thought was only for use in print publications like gossip rags and Page Six or, you know, here) and disparaging her listeners for spending the day on the couch in a three-armed Snuggie. Yes, such things exist in these marvelous modern times of ours. Here's a link so you can go see it yourself. After you click on that link, will you tell me whether the man featured in it is real or CGI? I stared at it for an embarrassingly long amount of time and truly can't tell.
Anyway Nora is definitely on Team Anti-Valentine's, which isn't exactly surprising considering how much the writers on this show hate her and never ever want to see her happy or in love. I mean, what kind of show would this be if Nora was happy and mildly distracted from the minutiae of her children's lives? As soon as Nora gets off the air, Sarah (who sure hangs around that radio station a lot for all her swearing she would never be there) barges into the booth and demands that her mother play nice with the listeners or else Sarah will be forced to fire her own mother. Don't think she won't do it either, because she totally will. Nora glares at her, but Sarah ignores it and puts on her bossy boss face and tells Nora that she is going to personally bankrupt the radio station with all her doom and gloom and lonely hearts nonsense. Plus! She dumped Dr. Carl and he was forced to quit his job to get far far away from Nora even though he was the most successful radio show they had on the air and he had been there far longer than Nora had. He still had to quit! Geez, what did Nora do to him that was so awful he had no choice but to quit a good job in this economy? Did she glare? Did she stare? Did she ignore? Oh the horror!
Nora just shrugs because it wasn't her fault that Carl was a candyass who couldn't stand a little break up drama. Sarah then says something about Nora mooning over Carl and Nora snaps that she's not upset over Carl, she is daydreaming of a different fellow all together. Sarah is intrigued, but Nora refuses to give names. Let me guess. Brody? The guy you dated fifty years and five kids ago? You're screwing up your job over that guy? Brilliant. Sarah accuses Nora of having gone "dark" and orders her to get her "Mom" back. Nora growls at the prospect of being nice. Sally Fields is a great actress. She makes all the insane writing on this show and the mood swings and cyclical behavior of her character almost seem normal. Almost.